This Can't Be Good
by Ithilwen K-Bane
Summary: COMPLETE. Hojo becomes trapped in the Sengoku Jidai: Chivalry isn't dead, but it sure seems to be asking for it... Rated for Inuyasha's mouth and Miroku's mind.
1. Of Course

Stop!  Don't Sue!  I don't nor do I pretend to own Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Shippo or any other of Rumiko Takahashi's characters.

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Thank you for reading chapter one...  (-Diana R. Flynn) (drf24@columbia.edu) Enjoy!

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                Inuyasha's ears twitched before he even recognized the sound, before he even finished climbing out of the well.

                Footsteps outside, and not all of them were Kagome's. . .  Inuyasha held himself still and listened.

                "Really, Higurashi-san; it's no trouble!"

                Inuyasha felt his knuckles cramp on the edge of the well.  _Him_.  He'd followed Kagome home from school.

                Inuyasha grit his teeth and pulled his hand back from where he'd started to reach for the door handle.

                Kagome had explained to him that people in her time weren't ready to accept that demons were real, and that there was no way of telling how an unprepared person would react to him, so she had imposed the ridiculous restriction that Inuyasha was to avoid being seen close up by anyone unless there was some real threat.

                . . .okay, so it was more like she'd asked Inuyasha not to frighten her friends, especially Hojo.

                . . .okay, so she'd just told him to keep his claws out of that stupid boy's lungs.

                The point, though, was if that he went out there, she'd sit him into the underworld.

                Inuyasha galled as he realized that the soft-skinned runt was holding him down just by being there.

                He set his teeth.  It wasn't as if the skinny scrap of a human posed a danger to Kagome, even if he overstepped his bounds, but just in case. . .

                He reached for the door again and let it slit open, giving him a view of the courtyard between the well house and the main shrine.  Kagome was standing several yards away, near the entrance to the shrine grounds, and with her was a tall – for a human – boy with short brown hair and a smile that was just a bit too bright.  Inuyasha choked back another growl.

                If all the human had done was walk her home, then why had she let him past the gate?  What was she thinking?

                And what, if anything, had she done to put that stupid grin on his face?

                Inuyasha's train of thought cut off as Kagome spoke, ears twitching to catch the sound, "Thank you for carrying my books, Hojo-kun, but you don't need to bring them all the way to the house for me!"

                Inuyasha noticed the strap over Hojo's shoulder, and the way he was holding his weight.  The boy turned and he saw that he was carrying the pack that Kagome used to take her spellbooks back and forth to that school.

                "Ah. . ." Kagome sounded uncomfortable. "Well thank you, Hojo.  I should be getting inside. . ." Inuyasha smirked.  Late or not, at least she wasn't wasting any more of his time. "See you in school."

                "Wait!"

                Fuck.

                The voices dropped and Inuyasha could barely make out Hojo's next words.

                "I'm sorry, Hojo-kun, but I'm going to be busy on Saturday."

                Inuyasha smirked again, not really knowing why.

                "Oh. . ." at the disappointment in the human's voice, the smirk became an all-out grin.

                "Maybe another time!" Kagome told him cheerfully.

                "Really?"

                The grin dropped.

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                "Hojo-kun?" Kagome asked quizzically as they came to a stop near the Goshinboku tree. "What's that around your neck?"

                "Oh, this?" Hojo tucked one thumb under the cord so that Kagome could get a better look. "My grandmother gave it to me. . ." Kagome leaned in and blinked.  A clear stone hung on . . .some kind of twisted hemp?  Certainly didn't look like much.

                And yet. . .

                There.

                A dull pulse of power.

                _Oh...  Kagome, it's probably nothing.  I'm getting as paranoid as Inuyasha._

                Kagome blinked.  Hojo was still talking. "—so it itches a bit, but she asked me to wear it and a young man should listen to his elders.  Hey, did I ever tell you that I'm one-quarter—"

                THWACK!!

                Kagome gasped as a heavy branch hit the ground not a foot from where Hojo was standing.

                _Oh no. . ..._

                She looked up into the arms of the Goshinboku and caught a flash of red darting away toward the well house.  Her eyes narrowed.

                _Stupid dog-boy! she seethed. __Can't he get it through his head that I can talk to whoever I want?  _

                "Whoa!" Hojo exclaimed. "You guys should get this tree trimmed, Higurashi!  A person could get hurt, and you spend enough time in the hospital as it is."

                Kagome shook her head. "My grandfather says that this is a sacred tree.  I don't think he'd want anyone to hurt it." Especially not jealous dog demons.  How could he act so. . .  Well the point was that Inuyasha was going to get sat into the underworld.

                "Well, thanks for carrying my books for me, Hojo-kun," she asked, smiling widely and hoping to any attentive gods that he'd get the point.

                No luck.

                He beamed back at her, "No trouble at all, Higurashi-san!  After all," he assumed an almost lecturing tone, "you'll need your strength to fight your chronic hematosis."

                Chronic humma—  Was that even a real one?

                Kagome suddenly wished that she could ask Kaede for an extra subduing charm just for her grandfather.

                "Uh, thanks. . ." she took hold of her bookbag strap and tugged it onto her shoulder, already mentally gearing up for her trip to the feudal period as she turned and walked towards the well.

                Told her mother?  Check.

                Shikon shards safe?  Check.

                Restocked the first-aid kit?  Check.

                Packed ramen?  Check.

                Lots of it?  Yes.

                Bag waiting in the well house?  Check.

                Inuyasha-shaped crater in the pavement for his attempt to flatten Hojo with a chunk of sacred plant matter?  Nope, still gotta get that one. . .

                Yeah, and had she packed her math book?  Check.

                She reached for the well house door.

                "Uh, Higurashi?  It's _that way," she turned to see Hojo pointing at the house and looking at her with concern. "Is it your spatial dyslexia again?"_

                "I'm fine, Hojo-kun." Kagome gave what she hoped was an encouraging smile. "I just have to do something in here.  See you later."

                "Okay!"

                Before she knew what was happening, Hojo had stepped right up to her and thrown his arms around her shoulders. "Feel better, Higurashi!"

                Kagome froze.

                An audible growl came from behind the well house door.

                "Bye!" Hojo finally released her and began to walk toward the gate.

                Kagome exhaled and put on her best glare.

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                "What the hell did you think you were doing, bitch?" Inuyasha began even before she'd set closed the door behind her. "Why were you leaning in so close to him?  Why did you let him touch you like that?  Don't you know that you're—"

                "SIT!"

                "Glak!"

                "Inuyasha!" she began, not caring that her voice had gone shrill.  Good!  Now that the company was gone, she could screech all she liked, "What were you trying to do dropping a branch on Hojo-kun!  You could have killed him!"

                Inuyasha's response was muffled against the floorboards, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.  With effort, he pushed himself up on his elbows. "Keh!  A little branch?  He's weak even for a human if that's all it would take!"

                "Don't try to hurt my friends!" she scolded, "And _not that it's any of your business, but that thing he was wearing around his neck felt funny to me.  I wanted a closer look."_

                "Funny?" Inuyasha's tone was carefully irritated as he craned his head up off the floor, but his ears were twitching eagerly, "Like a shikon shard?"

                ". . .no," Kagome said at last. "There's something creepy there, but it isn't a shard."

                He sat up and folded his arms across his chest, "All the more reason not to let him get near you," he said darkly. "It could be a trick, some wizard charming a weak-minded boy to get to you."

                "Weak-minded?" she steamed, dropping her bookbag next to the well. "If that's a problem then I'm not safe with you either.  SIT!"

                "Oof!  Bitch!  Quit doing that!"

                Kagome closed her eyes primly as she slung the travel pack onto her shoulders and stepped onto the low stone wall.

                "No," she said, and jumped in before Inuyasha could pry himself off the floor and follow.

                Neither one of them noticed that the door had fallen open.

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                _Ooh!  He makes me so mad! Kagome didn't wait for Inuyasha and turned her back on the Bone-Eater's well.  He'd catch up soon enough, and with some stupid speech about how Hojo was a loser and weak just because he didn't fight or pick his teeth with his claws or call her names all the time._

                There was a rustle behind her.  Three.  Two.  One. . .

                "Not another step you stupid girl!"

                Inuyasha  landed on the path in front of her, eyes livid.

                "Kaede gave me these beads to keep me from ripping you apart with my claws, not so that you could send me into the ground every time you felt like it!"

                Kagome lifted her chin. "Were there any rumors of the jewel shards while I was gone, Inuyasha?" she asked smoothly.

                "Don't change the subject!  We're talking about—"

                "Higurashi?"

                Inuyasha stopped.

                Kagome's eyes went wide and she slowly turned her head toward the other voice.

                Hojo was standing on the path behind them, his plain eyes moving from her to the livid dog demon and back.  He swallowed and held something out one hand.  Kagome's heart sank as she saw it was her math notebook.

                _Of course he did. . ._

                Hojo gulped again. "You, uh, dropped this."

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Okay, so it's been done before.  I'm going to do it much better is all.  Reviews welcome! 


	2. Enter Mister Nice Guy

I've wondered why no one in the anime or manga mentions this about Inuyasha's ears:

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                "Well, Higurashi, I was going to leave, but while I was walking out I saw that you'd dropped your notebook while we were talking by that tree.  You know, it was probably when that big branch almost fell on me.  You did look pretty shaken up, Higurashi…"

                That got him a glare from Kagome.  He looked away with a muttered, "Keh!"

                Hojo shifted Kagome's school bag from one skinny shoulder to the other, "...so I went to the well-house to give it back to you," Hojo's voice went from nervous to earnest, "and I heard voices!  It sounded like you were having an argument with someone," he gestured to Inuyasha. "I guess that was him—"

                _Talking about me like I'm not standing right here.  Inuyasha's eyes narrowed._

                "—and when I opened the door I guess I saw you from the back," he looked at Inuyasha again, this time managing something like a friendly smile.  Inuyasha cocked an unimpressed eyebrow. "But I didn't see you anywhere, Higurashi.  When I called out, no one answered, and I didn't see anything down the well when I leaned over to look—"

                "So you took a chance and jumped right in," Inuyasha finished, taking a step toward Hojo, "and now I hope you realize what a dumb thing that was to do."

                Hojo looked down and then back, this time smiling like the joke was on him and he knew it.

                "Actually," he admitted, "I sort of tripped..."

                Inuyasha  jabbed a claw against the boy's breastbone, "If you've got any brains at all in that skull of yours, you'll trip right _back_ through it.  And forget about telling a soul about this place!"

                He heard Kagome sigh and she stepped between them, nudging Inuyasha away from Hojo.

                "What place?" Hojo asked. "How did we end up here, Higurashi?  And who's your friend, anyway?" Hojo frowned at Inuyasha and his voice dropped conspiratorially.  He held up a hand to cover his words, "Um ... Did you know he has cat ears?"

                Did she know he...

                _Okay.  That's it._

                "I've got WHAT?!"

                "Gah!" Inuyasha felt Kagome throw her weight against him, distracting him enough for Hojo to take a startled jump back.

                After a few quick words of reassurance to Hojo and three or four reps of "Don't make me say it!" to Inuyasha, Kagome managed to get both of them to hold still long enough to give Hojo the heavily abridged and highly edited story: You've stumbled through a portal to medieval Japan.  I spend my nights and weekends here trying to reassemble an apocalyptic power jewel before it falls into evil hands.  Oh yes, and Inuyasha is a DOG demon.

                _And don't you forget it, twerp!_

                "And I've got _great_ hearing," he sneered, "so the next time you want to talk about me, better make sure I'm farther away than that!"

                Hojo held up his hands. "Now there's no need to get worked up," he said just a little too blandly. "I didn't mean any offense."

                "You must find all of this terribly confusing," Kagome laid a hand on the boy's sleeve.  Inuyasha bristled.  She ignored him. "But Inuyasha's right about one thing—"

                She could bet all the ramen in that bag he was!  That brainless kid had better watch his mouth or else—

                "—it really would be better if you went home to Tokyo," she said gently.

                Oh yeah.  That too.  Inuyasha grinned.  At least this was a temporary problem.

                "I promise I'll answer all your questions in a couple days," Kagome said brightly.  Inuyasha did _not like the way her smile lit while she said it._

                The boy put a hand to his chin.  Dear gods, did he actually have to think about it?

                "Well..." he said at last, "If you really think that's best, Higurashi."

                Kagome smiled again and let her pack slide off of her shoulder to the ground. "We'll walk you back, then," she told him. "And you probably shouldn't tell anyone about this until we get a chance to talk."

                "Or after that!" Inuyasha added. "I don't want to see anyone else from your time coming through that thing; you people are nothing but trouble."

                "Well," Hojo went on. "I'm just glad to hear you weren't sick all this time, Higurashi, but I guess it does make sense.  I mean, it's not like you _look_ like a syphilis patient..."

                "_What?!" this time it was Inuyasha who had to hold Kagome back._

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                "So how does this thing work?" Hojo blanched. "And are those bones down there?"

                "Well," said Inuyasha, "first I pick you up and throw you in—ow!"

                Kagome elbowed him hard in the ribs. "Just climb down, Hojo.  There'll be a funny light, and it'll feel kind of weird for a minute, and then you'll be home again." _Smile, Kagome.  Act like you do this every day, Kagome.  Don't scare the poor little normal guy, Kagome... "Could you leave my bookbag in the well house?"_

                "Okay," he answered. "When will I see you?"

                "I'll be home in three or four days," she told him.

                "A week," corrected Inuyasha.

                "Three or four days," she repeated with a glare to the dog demon. "I'll give you a call, Hojo.  We can meet somewhere and talk about all this."

                Hojo's face lit. "It's a date, then!  As soon as you get back!" he said eagerly, catching her hand in both of his.

                Kagome could practically hear Inuyasha's teeth grind even as she felt a tiny blush rise on her cheeks.

                "Alright then!" Hojo said brightly, swinging his legs over the short stone wall and catching hold of the vines, "Here I go!"

                In a few seconds, Hojo's head disappeared over the side, and the sounds of his climbing down grew fainter.

                Inuyasha turned to her. "You know," he said quietly. "It would probably be better if he didn't remember all this."

                Kagome's spine prickled at the tone of his voice.  This couldn't be good...

                "What do you mean?" she asked hesitantly.

                "I'll follow him," Inuyasha shrugged, "Just let me give him a good swat on the head.  He'll wake up and think this was a dream."

                "No!" Kagome insisted. "Besides, I think I..." she trailed off, realizing the words were true even as she said them. "I think I want him to know."

                "What?"

                "I'm tired of hiding everything from everyone!" she turned on him, eyes blazing. "You heard what Hojo said; all my friends think I have a bunch of gross diseases!  It'll be nice to have someone around who knows I'm not skipping school just because I'm contagious or lazy or on drugs or something."

                Inuyasha locked his arms, "Your family knows, isn't that enough?"

                "Not anymore," she said, turning her back to the well. "Let's go."

                She heard Inuyasha's peeved snort, and then his steps as he began to follow.

                Then she heard a sheepish voice echoing up from the stones.

                "Higurashi?  Inuyasha?  I ... don't think it worked..."

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                This day officially sucked.

                Glancing back over his shoulder as they walked, Inuyasha could see that Hojo looked worried and upset.  This wouldn't have bothered him in the slightest if it wasn't making Kagome pay so much attention to the wuss.  Fuck, she was even holding his hand.  What was he, a baby?

                "Don't worry, Hojo-kun," she was saying in a voice that she usually saved for Shippou when he was scared or Sango after a bout with Kohaku or ... that one time when he'd been hurt ... and she'd stayed up all night—  Inuyasha blinked the thought away and kept moving.  Hey, there was Kagome's pack on the ground up ahead...

                "Kaede's very wise about these things," Kagome went on. "I'm sure she'll know what to do."

                Hojo nodded, but Inuyasha could hear him swallow hard.

                "Come on," Kagome coaxed; "you'll get to meet my friends!"

                "Your friends?" Hojo asked.  Inuyasha turned his narrowed eyes just in time to see the boy's thumb pass lightly across Kagome's fingers.

                "Don't worry," she told him, "they're not all as bad-tempered as Inuyasha is!" She reached up and swatted his ear.  Inuyasha would have snarled at her, but the gesture had made her let go of Hojo's hand.  He noted with approval that she didn't take it again.

                Kagome nodded, "They're probably waiting for us."

                "You're telling me they're waiting!" Inuyasha snapped, "You were late to begin with, bitch!"

                "Excuse me," Hojo tapped Inuyasha on the shoulder, "what did you just say?"

                "I was talking to the bitch!" Inuyasha's eyes dropped to the hand on his upper arm, "And get your mitts off my—"

                He cut off as Hojo doubled up his free hand and connected with his jaw with a hard smack.

                Inuyasha blinked, mind blanking as just a bit of blood collected in his mouth.  ...a mouth that stretched into a smirk.

                "Thank you," he said darkly, not noticing Kagome's eyes go narrow.

                "For what?" Hojo's brow knit.

                "Hold still and I'll show you," he finished.

                His grin stretched to show his fangs as he flexed his claws into a fist, drawing back one arm as the human blinked stupidly.

                This was going to feel _so_ good. 

                Definitely worth the embarrassment of getting slugged by a wimpy little pretty boy who obviously didn't know when he was—

                _"SIT!!"_

                And then he tasted gravel.

                "Higurashi-san!" Hojo was exclaiming.  Inuyasha spit out a pebble. "How did you—  Did you do that?"

                Inuyasha's thoughts were cold.

                She'd sat him.  She'd sat him right in _front of that—that—_

                "Inuyashaaaa!" Kagome's voice seethed.

                Against his will, his ears flinched back against his skull.  A preaudible growl slunk from his throat as he pushed his upper body off the ground.  He was _not_ going to show weakness where that boy could see!

                Kagome's eyes were horizontal slits, hands set firmly on her hips as her face flushed.  If he hadn't been so ticked off, Inuyasha probably would have cringed again. "What?" he asked, blowing his ruffled bangs out of his eyes.

                "How dare you hit Hojo like that?!"

                Inuyasha gaped, "He hit me first, that's how!"

                "You're like twenty times stronger!" she blazed, "You could have killed him if I hadn't stopped you!"

                "Twenty?  More like a hundred," he muttered. "And—"

                "And _you!_" Kagome turned her attention to Hojo, who was still sputtering like a torch in the rain. "What possessed you to hit him in the first place?"  
                Inuyasha couldn't help but smirk at seeing Kagome start to hand the twerp his own head.  Heh!  Let _him_ see something other than her sweet little schoolgirl side for a change!

                Hojo was looking at her as if she'd lost her mind, "Higurashi-san…" he stammered, face going red with embarrassment or anger, "he, he called you a…" the boy grit his teeth, to Inuyasha's amusement. "He called you a…"

                "…bitch?" Kagome asked.  Inuyasha blinked.  Had Kagome actually said the word?  Sure, when Hojo couldn't spit it out he seemed like a wuss, but Kagome—

                The girl's face softened and she smiled, "Hojo-kun, you've made a mistake," she said, waving one hand. "Inuyasha didn't mean to insult me!"

                "He didn't?"

                _I didn't?_

                The thought must have registered on his face, because the look Kagome shot him clamped his mouth shut before he even knew he'd opened it.

                "No, no!" Kagome went on. "Weren't you listening before?  Inuyasha's a dog demon.  For him, calling me …calling me that is like saying 'woman,' or 'girl' or something.  I'm really used to it," she smiled again. "Sometimes I forget and almost use it at home!"

                Inuyasha opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

                "Oh!" Hojo's face colored again.  He turned to Inuyasha. "I'm terribly sorry about that!" he insisted, holding out one hand. "Here!"

                Inuyasha glared at the hand.  Then he glared at Hojo and got to his feet.  For the human to strike him was one thing, but to offer to help him up as if his puny blow had been what sent him to the ground?

                Kagome started to lean down, one hand going to the strap of her pack.  Inuyasha's eyes narrowed. 

                "Let me get that," he said pointedly.  Inuyasha took one step and swept the pack up onto his shoulders.  He didn't even twitch under its weight.

                Inuyasha looked at Hojo in the eye.

                Then he looked at Kagome's itty-bitty school bag.  Then he looked Hojo in the eye.

                The stupid fuck didn't even have the courtesy to blink.

                Inuyasha was still growling.  Kagome was still fuming.  Hojo was still needing a few good blows to the head, but it didn't look like anyone was going to help him with that.  Inuyasha realized that he was fingering one of the smooth teeth on Kaede's damned prayer beads.  He crossed his arms across his chest and turned his back on Hojo and Kagome.

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Coming up: Hojo meets the Sengoku Jidai's answer to Buffy...  


	3. The Master at Work

_**AS OF AUGUST 8, 2004:**_

_**What's happened to Kurama? These author's notes have been altered to conform with FF . net's new rule / new interpretation of the old rule concerning stories in play format. Further explanation will appear in chapter forty-four. The original version of the Kurama arc appears on MediaMiner. Please click the link in my bio or remove the spaces from the link provided: http : www . mediaminer . org / fanfic / view ch.php ? cid = 95852 & submit = View Chapter & id = 34983**_

_**The content of the chapter is otherwise identical.**_

_I don't own Inuyasha, but in the interests of relieving stress during finals week, I've been thinking of leasing Youko Kurama from Yoshihiro Togashi._

_"What?" asked Kurama, looking up._

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"Kagome! Kagome's back! Kagome!"

"Shippo, slow down!" Miroku held up one hand as the kitsune zoomed out of sight. He shook his head, feeling his lips pull back in an unmonkly smirk. Perhaps Inuyasha had more of an influence on Shippo than either of them would care to admit: There was no talking to the young fox demon once he'd gotten himself worked up. He shifted grip on his staff and followed. From what he could hear – the kitsune's quick footsteps, and a light, female "oof!" which was surely the result of Shippo barreling straight into Kagome's stomach – they weren't too far ahead.

"Why were you gone so long ?" Miroku heard Shippo demand, "What did you bring me? Did Inuyasha do something to make you mad? How long will you stay this time? Did you bring me anything?" Miroku allowed himself a smile as he moved calmly toward the sound, flashes of color starting to show through the trees. "Why were you gone so long?" Shippo asked again. "I bet it was dog boy's fault!" Miroku heard a faint popping sound that usually accompanied one of the fox demon's transformations.

"Get off, brat!" Inuyasha was scolding. Miroku noted oddly that he sounded a bit more sour than usual. He frowned. Kagome had been gone this long before without irritating Inuyasha so. What news could she have brought to anger him? Would she have to leave again soon? Had her supply of ramen run dry?

"Shippo!" Kagome joined in, "Stop chewing Inuyasha's head this minute!"

Miroku brought a hand to his mouth, even though there was no one to see the grin.

"...Higurashi?" came a strange voice, tight and alive with apprehension. "What..." The volume dropped. Whoever was speaking was obviously very disturbed by something, "...what is _that_?"

What was what? Miroku wondered as he stepped into view.

The monk immediately formed an idea of what had upset Inuyasha.

The human boy was too skinny to be a warrior, and the way his knuckles had grown white on the strap of Kagome's school bag would seem to support that. His clothes were of some unknown make, and his short hair was cut just a little too evenly.

Kagome had never spoken of the boy from her time except in the lightest of passing. Inuyasha, however...

By now, Shippo had climbed up to Kagome's shoulder and pushed her hair aside to get a better look at the newcomer. "Who's that, Kagome?" he asked. His little nose twitched, "He smells funny."

The young man looked a bit taken aback by this.

"Miroku-sama, Shippo-chan," Kagome plucked the kitsune cub off her shoulder and turned around, setting him on the ground by a pair of strange shoes. Miroku craned his neck as she bent down, but Kagome had grown far too careful with those short skirts of hers, "this is Hojo-kun."

_Ah..._ Miroku hadn't really thought that "stupid runt of a human," had been his actual name.

"He's a friend of mine from my school." The human's big eyes went bigger as Shippo looked up at him. Miroku realized oddly that Hojo hadn't looked away from the little fox demon since he'd shown up. "And Hojo, when Shippo says that you smell funny, he means—"

"—that you reek of the metal demons from that world of yours," finished a snide voice.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome scolded. "Don't be rude."

Shippo grinned, "Yeah, Inuyasha, don't be rude," he folded his arms and hopped forward to get a better look at Hojo.

"Well he does!" Inuyasha was insisting. "And so do you for that matter. I should go throw you in the river."  
"Oooooh! Inuyasha, don't make me say it!"

"Just ignore them," Miroku told Hojo.

"Is ..." Hojo swallowed hard, making eye contact with the monk. "Is Inuyasha always like this?"

"All the time," Shippo leaned in to take another sniff at Hojo, who gulped again.

Miroku stifled the urge to frown, trying hard to process the situation. Hojo didn't seemed to be alarmed by Inuyasha, the violent badass with the big sword, but something about Shippo was scaring the smoothly-creased pants off of him. True, Shippo was a true demon while Inuyasha was only half, but...

He shook it off. Perhaps Hojo had been more frightened of Inuyasha earlier on, and was simply quick to grow accustomed to him. There were so many other things to wonder about this person.

For instance—

"Hojo!" Kagome was calling. "Hurry up! We're almost there!"

"Coming, Higurashi!" the boy answered, stepping carefully around Shippo to catch up with the girl.

Miroku neither quickened nor slowed, and soon found himself walking next to an extremely disgruntled-looking dog demon.

"He doesn't seem so bad."

Inuyasha grunted. "Something about him just ticks me off, okay?" the dog demon's tone could have soured milk.

Miroku nodded easily, "I have to say though, Inuyasha," he said, "I'm surprised."

"At what?" he snapped.

"Well," Miroku spread his hands, "he doesn't seem anywhere near as ugly as a three-headed toad."

"Shut up, Miroku."

"Yeah," chimed Shippo, "and he doesn't smell like gutted pig demon either."

"What was it about this boy that offended you, again?"

"Shut up, Miroku!"

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"Well, Miroku-sama," Hojo closed the book he'd been reading, "there are a couple of different stories. No one's really sure."

Sango looked up from polishing hiraikotsu, suddenly wishing she'd caught the beginning of this conversation.

The monk was nodding thoughtfully. She rolled her eyes. He was up to something.

The young man from the well had been leaning against the outer wall of Kaede's house, one of Kagome's books in hand. There had barely been time for more than a quick introduction before Inuyasha had – quite insistently, oddly – dragged Kagome off to go look for Kaede.

"I mean," Hojo admitted, "it is a bit unusual..."

The priest nodded again. "It rarely fails to attract attention, often the wrong kind."

Sango's hands grew still on hiraikotsu. What could they be talking about?

"No! I mean even in our—Even in Tokyo."

"Really... So how did it come to be?"

"Well," Hojo went on, "I once heard a story that the last time that our school got new ones, a boy broke into the headmaster's office, found where the order form read, 'Girls' skirts must be six inches below the knee,' and wrote in 'above,' instead."

"An 'order form,' you say?" the monk paused.

Sango blinked. Was _that_ why Kagome had to wear that ridiculous short thing? She shook her head. It actually sounded as if the priest approved, though that was hardly surprising.

Hojo nodded. "That's like a contract for the people who make the clothes for the school. I guess all the girls just got used to wearing them that way," Hojo flipped the book open again, smiling innocently. So odd, that smile. The boy from Kagome's homeland had such an open face, as if the world weren't full of demons and loss...

The monk looked about to drift back into thought – or more likely, something less honorable and much more imaginative – when Hojo looked up and spoke again, "But that's probably an urban legend."

"Really? Just a story?"

Hojo nodded. "Well, it _might_ be true," he admitted, "but why believe it when there's a far simpler explanation?"

"Go on," urged the priest.

Hojo shrugged, "We probably just had some perverted lech for a headmaster that year."

Sango felt herself make a high-pitched sound, and reached up to cover her mouth with one hand.

And the monk didn't so much as bat an eye.

"Some of the girls at our school are as young as twelve or thirteen," Hojo shook his head. "And even on the older ones, it's hardly decent. That guy must've been a real sicko."

The priest closed his eyes in resignation, "And to think such men exist even in a more peaceful age..."

And with a straight face! Sango didn't know whether to laugh or fracture his skull for him. If Kagome could hear this!

"Miss Sango?" Hojo was saying, "Miss Sango, are you alright?"

She nodded vigorously, not trusting herself to speak.

Hojo turned back to the monk, "The some poor girl's skirt flips up while she's running to get to class on time – who'd find that sort of thing alluring, really?"

"It pains me to think it."

It was too much. Through her hand, Sango couldn't stop a giggle.

"Something wrong?" asked Hojo.

"Sango!" the monk cut in a scolding tone, "it's hardly kind to laugh at the misfortunes of Kagome's schoolmates!"

"What? Houshi-sama—"

He shook his head, "I had thought you a more compassionate girl than that."

_He had— But he— Oooooooh!!_

Sango felt her knuckles go white.

"You and I must have a talk," the monk went on. "Perhaps we can purge your mind of these uncharitable impulses." He put one sealed hand to his chin, "Somewhere private, I think. Where the sounds of our conversation will not alarm any passers-by..."

Sango's thoughts suddenly became very very uncharitable. With a speed born of frequent practice, she'd hefted hiraikotsu and braced her weight to jump to her feet.

"That's kind of you, Miroku-sama," Hojo said brightly, stepping in between the two of them, "but I really don't think Sango meant it that way. People laugh at all sorts of things..."

"Perhaps you are right, Hojo," said the monk, stepping to the side.

Sango managed not to grumble as she lowered her weapon. The boy had a point: there was no sense cracking the stupid monk's skull before he'd really earned a—

She tensed, gaze going from his outstretched hand to his face and back.

Her eyes narrowed into her best "don't even try it."

The monk withdrew, and turned back to Kagome's guest.

Sango picked up her polishing rag and went back to work.

The nerve of him! Trying to make her look wicked in front of a stranger.

...a stranger with such a nice smile.

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_"This wasn't in my contract," the fox demon pointed out._

_Just shut up and get in the notebook._

_"Sold without my consent," he protested. "This is so degrading." His eyes glanced over toward the reciept in the narrator's hands. "Just out of curiosity, how much did you have to pay for me?"_


	4. No Matter What

What's happened to Kurama? An explanation of the author's notes will be found in chapters three and forty-four.

ORIGINAL VERSION: http: www . mediaminer . org / fanfic / viewch . php / 34983 / 96199 # ficc__

_The more reviews I get, the more encouraged I feel, the more encouraged I feel, the more likely I am to work on the next chapter instead of writing something like—_

_Kurama stormed in holding a sheaf of papers and a fistful of black rubber. "I read the script," he admitted smoothly, "Were you on drugs?_

_Does caffiene count?_

_"I think I've been more than compliant so far," he set the script down on the table and held up the costume, "but I have no intention of wearing this thing."_

_Stop being a baby._

_"Who picked it out, anyway?" he went on. "It looks like it belonged to a male prostitute."_

_Actually, that's Sephiroth's costume from Final Fantasy VII. You wouldn't believe what I had to do to get my hands on— never mind. Now get dressed before I cast you as the monster of the week in an X-Files 'fic._

_Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Madam, I have faced down demons with powers that could make your best warriors quail back in fear. The prospect of any torment that you could devise does not—"_

_Set in season eight._

_He froze. "You WOULDN'T!"_

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"Inuyasha, you can let go of me now."

Inuyasha snorted and released Kagome's upper arm. There was a rustle of cloth as she tugged the sleeve straight.

"Inuyasha," his ears flinched back at the quiet bite in her voice, "I know you're not happy about Hojo being here—"

"—I'm not happy about Hobo in general now that you mention it—" he grumbled.

"—but I don't want you to be mean to him."

Inuyasha stopped walking and fixed her with a firm glare. "What do you mean 'mean to him'?"

Kagome's eyes narrowed. "I suppose it's too much to ask you to make him feel welcome, so I'll settle for getting him back to Tokyo in one piece."

Inuyasha growled, "I'm helping you look for Kaede, aren't I?" he huffed, "Beyond going back where he belongs as soon as possible, he'd better learn to watch his mouth and stay out of the way."

"Inuyasha," Kagome's voice turned serious. "If Hojo gets home safe, I won't do it for a whole week."

Inuyasha's ears flattened back as his eyes went very wide.

_I couldn't have heard that right_.

"You what?" he demanded.

"That spell that's on the beads around your neck. If you help me make sure Hojo gets back to my time safe and sound, I won't use it for one week," she held up her fingers. "Seven days."

_Oh, is that what she meant. I thought for a second—_

_ Wait..._

Against his will, Inuyasha's hands flexed and he swallowed hard. His ears began twitching, but he hardly noticed.

"No matter what?" his voice was much softer than he'd intended, harsh from the back of his throat.

"No matter what," Kagome repeated.

Inuyasha's mind raced. No letting Shippo get away with his antics, no freebie demon-slayings for stupid villages, and no _way_ was Kagome getting back through the well to that strange realm of hers for—

"Two weeks!" he called out.

"One, Inuyasha!"

"Grrr... Ten days!"

"Done!" Kagome grinned, "but that's only if Hojo goes home without a scratch!"

Inuyasha's thoughts skidded to a halt. His eyes narrowed, "Why?" he demanded.

"Why what?"

"Why this human?" he asked, poking a claw toward her collarbone. "I know he's from your time and all, but you've never offered to keep from sitting me before," his voice darkened. "Why him?"

Kagome put her hands on her hips, "He's a friend, Inuyasha."

"The real reason, Kagome," he said intently. "Don't be stupid; you lie worse than Shippo does, bitch."

Kagome kicked a pebble out of her way.

"Kagome—"

"Because he doesn't know about any of this, that's why!" she expressed into the ground. When she looked up her eyes were bright. Inuyasha cringed. At least she wasn't crying, not over that little scrap of a boy. "Even though we've told him that there are demons and monsters and cruelty in this world, he still doesn't understand," she looked away again.

"And I don't want him to."

"What do you mean?" Inuyasha pressed. Sure, the whelp was a bit on the stupid side, but Kagome was describing a blind little baby. Surely Hojo hadn't been that sheltered.

But then... Kagome... The first time Kagome had seen a demon, she'd been so afraid... Inuyasha could still remember her shaking body pressed against the legs he couldn't move, as Mistress Centipede had wound herself around the Goshinboku to crush them both. That hadn't been a natural fear...

"I guess I..." Kagome was still talking. She smiled sadly into the dust at her feet, "I guess I just like the way he looks at me." Feeling the question in the air, she looked up again, "Like I'm just a girl," she explained, "and I've never heard of the Shikon no Tama."

For some reason, Kagome's words made his heart cold.

_He makes you..._ he swallowed hard. _He makes you forget..._

And more: she _wanted_ to forget.

Inuyasha shook his head. Best not to think of it.

"If he's so wonderful then why did you lie to him?"

"Lie?" she asked. "To who?"

"To who?" he exclaimed, "to your I'm-so-perfect-hit-me-in-the-face who!" he leaned in, "You do know that when I call you a bitch, I really do mean that you're a—"

"I know," she waved a weary hand, "You mean it, but not how he'd think you meant it. Inuyasha, things are different where we come from—"

_Hm. So Hojo and Kagome are a "we," now?_

"—in the modern world, if a girl lets a boy call her bad names, people will think..." Kagome frowned at the path for a moment. "People will think she's weak."

Inuyasha blinked. _That_ certainly wasn't the answer he'd been expecting.

"You talk to me like that," Kagome went on, "but you're not trying to hurt me," she ignored Inuyasha's huff. "If we can't send him home right away, then Hojo's probably going to see you kill a demon or two, and he'll know how violent you can be. If Hojo thought you didn't respect me, next he'd think you'd start beating me up or something."

"What?!" Inuyasha's whole body went rigid. Of all the fucking stupid things...

"What kind of an idiot would he have to be to believe that? You're a frustrating little bitch—" oh gods, the blood "—but that's just fucked. Even if you couldn't—" you'd run down the well and leave me "—drop me with that fucking rosary—"

She held up both hands to quiet him.

The blood... The blood from Kikyo's wound. The look in her dead eyes when she thought—

_"Why did you betray me, Inuyasha?"_

That boy had no idea. No _idea_.

"Stupid," he seethed, unable to even form a better insult, "he's so fucking stupid!"

"Shhhh..." Kagome put her hands on his shoulders. "He doesn't think it. You wouldn't and he knows it; I just had to say it in a way he'd understand."

Inuyasha looked away.

They kept walking. Inuyasha continued to mutter under his breath. Stupid, tufty-haired little human! Even when Inuyasha didn't have claws and fangs, he didn't forget that they were supposed to be used on demons, or wicked humans with jewel shards, and not on— He shook his head and stuck his chin in the air.

"Well!" his voice was only a little strained, "I guess you and I have got a deal, but you better forget about that 'not a scratch' bit 'cause I'm not going to be saddled with babysitting anyone."

Kagome's eyes darkened and her voice dropped to barely audible, "Considering the job you do with Shippo, I wouldn't even consider it."

"What was that?" he demanded.

Kagome held up a hand, "Nothing. I trust Miroku will look after him until we find out where Kaede went."

Inuyasha folded his arms and looked away, "I'm surprised you trust that lecherous old con man with anything."

"Hm!" Kagome straightened, holding up one finger, "Miroku may have his faults, but he's got twice the maturity you do. At least he's not going to try to club him to death with a chunk of the sacred tree!"

"I did not club him!"

"You would have!"

"Damn right!"

"Oooooh! _Sit!_"

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_Kurama looked down at himself in disgust. "I am putting my own clothes back on. I don't care if you make me work with those no-talent hacks from the FOX network!"_

_You're right; these don't become you..._

_"I'm so glad you agree."_

_You don't have the bulk. Have you considered working out?_


	5. Waiting to Happen

**What's happened to Kurama? Look for explanations in chapters three and forty-four, or use this link: www. mediaminer. org / fanfic / viewch. php / 34983 / 96334 # fic c**

_Kurama snapped his cellphone shut. "I just got a call from Botan asking why I wasn't at work."_

_Did you tell her you're starring in my masterpiece?_

_"Not in those words," he said icily. "She said Togashi knew nothing about leasing out my contract."_

_Well we never really finalized the terms. It was more of a verbal—_

_Kurama effortlessly snatched the reciept and held it up to his view. A tense moment passed. "This is written on the back of a noodle box," he said at last._

_Is it?_

_"In crayon!"_

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It all happened very quickly.

Hojo had gone back to his book, Sango had gone back to hiraikotsu, and Miroku had gone back to wondering what Sango would look like in one of Kagome's revealing uniforms.

He couldn't _believe_ he'd gotten through that last crack without getting a new bump on his head. Miroku put a casual hand to his scalp. Yup, his last one was nearly gone. How long had it been since not one part of his skull ached?

He would have to find some way to repay Kagome's friend for the favor. Truly, why was Inuyasha so irritated by him?

Miroku let an eyebrow twitch. As with many things which concerned the dog demon, the answer could be found with Kagome. Hojo was a reminder of that strange time of hers. He shook his head. Inuyasha needed to realize it wasn't this boy, or Kouga, and certainly not Miroku – Kagome's homeland itself was his only real rival.

Besides, although Hojo was certainly polite and good-looking, it wasn't as if he had anywhere near the technique or sophistication to pose any threat where the ladies were concerned. Well, Miroku realized with subdued pride, maybe he did in comparison to a spluttering ruffian like Inuyasha...

Hojo closed his borrowed book with a sigh, looking idly over to Sango.

"Do you really use that thing to kill demons?"

Sango looked up, smiling just slightly. Miroku allowed himself to do the same. Sango usually heard that question from small children. Was everything here really so new to Hojo?

In fact, that had looked almost exactly like Childlike Smile-Eyes Averted. Miroku blinked. He hadn't seen that move since...

"Yes," she nodded. "It takes quite a bit of wear," she turned the weapon, "look here."

Hojo leaned the book against the wall and scooted over to sit next to Sango.

Miroku looked away while the taijiya gave the future boy a quick lesson in the care and feeding of a demon-slayer's boomerang. Something about it... He leaned back against Kaede's wall. The answer would come to him if he didn't look too hard.

_"Should you find yourself –ahem!— lonely for a woman's attention, Miroku,"_ he found himself hearing one of Mushin's lessons in his head, _"just remember that there's more than one way to wax a... Many kinds of skins for a ... what was I saying?"_

Ah yes, Miroku mused... Mushin may not have been the most sober of masters, but his store of knowledge in all things holy – and otherwise – was beyond price.

_"When in doubt, boy, just find out what a girl does and feign interest. That never fails..."_

"So how do you make one of these, Miss Sango?"

"Well, this one is made from the jawbone of a centipede demon..."

Maybe Hojo... Nah.

"I didn't know those things had jawbones," Hojo admitted.

And... That looked like an Innocent Shrug With Sheepish Smile

Miroku searched his memory. Yes... Mushin had been speaking of the innocent approach...

_"Don't be afraid to state the obvious... It gives her a chance to agree."_

"Wow! That sounds like one of these takes a long time to make!"

"That's right, Hojo-san; this one took my father and me months to finish."

Miroku's eyes narrowed.

_"The problem with this technique, boy, is that it never lasts very long. Unless she's either stupid as a stump or VERY drunk, most young women are going to see through the sensitive act right away."_

Miroku's brow creased. Something odd about Sango's face. Had she been in the sun too—

His eyes went wide. Sango, who had faced down demons the size of foothills without fear, Sango who had torn her own heart to scraps in the hopes of salvaging the lost Kohaku, the unconquerable Sango, was _blushing!_

_"I am teaching you this, Miroku, so that you will be able to recognize a creature that is in some ways more treacherous than any demon..."_

And Hojo didn't seem to notice. He kept prattling on like an idiot, asking one mindless question after another as if he really did want to know about that stupid hiraikotsu.

_Sweet merciful Buddha... _Miroku realized in horror. _Why didn't I notice it before?_

Mushin had warned him of those foul and deceitful men who feigned boyish innocence to gain the trust of young women (Miroku himself preferred to feign boyish virtue, an entirely different approach.), but if his master had been right, Hojo was a far more serious problem.

_"Basically, my boy,"_ he remembered the old monk's chilling words, _"the only way this technique works on an extended basis is if the man using it really IS an innocent twit. It's frustrating as hell, but when you run across a natural, it's best to just cut your losses and go get drunk instead..."_

Sango had raised one hand to her mouth to cover a shy smile as Hojo asked her – with a textbook Hopeful Glance – how she'd attached the hand grips.

_"But Master Mushin,"_ he heard his own voice from years past, _"how do I feign innocence without feigning it?"_

_"Men like us don't – I mean, you'd think with the monk thing – but it's generally unwise to try a discipline which conflicts with your nature. Why, I remember..."_

And the lesson had dissolved into a retelling of Mushin's younger days... Entertaining, to be sure, but hardly useful in the current situation.

Hojo leaned in to listen intently as Sango explained the different throws she'd used in battle, and Miroku tried very hard not to panic, invoking some of Mushin's more traditional lessons to bring himself a sense of calm.

The really sad part was, Hojo probably wasn't even trying to get laid. All that time and – well, in a normal guy's case – effort just going to waste. That hurt about as much as Sango's diverted attention.

_Ah well_, Miroku willed himself to think. At least he was still the only man whom Sango let touch her gorgeous body. ...if by 'let,' of course, one meant 'let live...'

Just thinking about it made his fingers start to itch.

And then it all happened very quickly...

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"PERVERT!!"

"Hey, did you just—?!"

"Get out of the way!"

"Oof!"

"_Houshi-sama!!_"

"Sango, It was an accident, I swear!"

"_Ooooooh_!"

Kagome and Inuyasha stepped into view just in time to see a furious Sango slap Miroku hard – not in itself an unusual happening – but why was _Hojo_ pressing one hand to the side of his face? Surely...

_No way..._

Inuyasha felt his eyes narrow. Miroku's influence couldn't be that bad! Not that quickly!

And for fuck's sake! How come Sango got to hit him and he didn't?

Inuyasha shook his head. Something else must've gone down here. Hojo was far too spineless to have felt up Sango, but at least it looked like he'd found out why no one else wanted to. Well... Inuyasha glanced at Miroku. No one else who didn't have some twisted love of pain.

"What ...happened?" Kagome asked tentatively.

Hojo was giving Miroku a suspicious frown, "If I didn't know better, I'd say that—" he looked to Kagome, "I don't mean to speak ill of your friends, Higurashi, but—" He looked from Kagome to the fuming taijiya and back. Inuyasha rolled his eyes. Again? What a loser. "I think Miroku-sama—"

"Tried to grab Sango's ass?" Inuyasha finished.

"I'm sure that wasn't it!" Hojo held up his hands, "Come on, the man's a priest for goodness sake!"

Inuyasha snorted.

"It is reassuring," Miroku was by now sitting cross-legged on the ground, looking remarkably composed for a man with a bright red handprint on one side of his face and a seething girl ready to give him the matching set standing not three feet away, "to find someone in this world willing to take the word of a simple monk..."

"That's only because he doesn't know you, pervert!" claimed Sango.

"Now, now, Miss Sango, no need to get upset," Hojo tried to placate her, "He said it was an accident."

Sango folded her arms, "I think he was talking about hitting you in the face with his staff while he was trying to dodge, Hojo-san."

Wait wait wait—what?!

Inuyasha blinked in surprise. _Miroku_ got to club the runt?!

Kagome had covered her eyes with one hand. "Actually, Hojo," her voice was almost apologetic. "He does it all the time." Sango nodded darkly.

"He _what?!_" Hojo looked to Miroku, "but... but you're a monk!"

"Indeed I am," answered Miroku.

"That's no way for a holy man to act!" Hojo sounded somewhere between surprised and angry, "And no way to treat a lady!" he gestured to Sango, who jumped.

Inuyasha frowned. The stormcloud on her face seemed lighter for a moment.

"And here I thought this was just a big misunderstanding!"

"Hojo-kun," Kagome stopped him, sounding tired of the whole mess. Inuyasha smirked. "I can't leave you alone for a minute, can I?"

Wha—Fuck.

"Come on," she held out an arm. "Kaede's busy right now, but you might as well see the village." She looked over her shoulder at the monk, "Leaving you with _this_ pervert was obviously a mistake."

"I think I'll go with you," Sango flashed Miroku a glare and slung hiraikotsu across her shoulder.

He still hadn't said a word.

And as gut-twistingly reluctant as Inuyasha was to let Hojo go with Kagome for even a minute, he had to admit he was curious...

"Misunderstanding?" he asked once the girls were out of earshot.

"Actually," Miroku sighed, rubbing his head, "I'm afraid Sango and I seem to understand each other quite well."

"You _never_ dodge Sango's hits," he demanded. "What happened?"

"I don't know what came over me..." The priest looked up from his hands, "I suppose... I suppose something about him just ticked me off."

Inuyasha snorted.

"Inuyasha, we must send this boy back to Kagome's time as soon as possible!"

"What clued you in?"

The monk didn't answer, eyes returning to the ground. A moment passed, and the silence stretched until someone had to break it. Inuyasha took a breath:

"Felt good, didn't it?"

Miroku leaned back with something like a smile and closed his eyes.

"Indeed..."

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_"It's usually Hiei who advocates revenge," Kurama said darkly, "but in your case I'll consider an exception."_

_Anytime, babe; my number's in the book._

_Kurama shook his head, "I can't believe I almost did a pornographic work!"_

_Hey, I admit that was a slutty costume, and the script kinda' sucked, but it was a strict PG-13!_

_He shrugged, "I suppose..."_

_Give me some credit; that human form of yours is only what, sixteen? Besides, you and I both know that does not host sexually explicit material._

_Both figured erupted in riotous laughter._

_A fox demon's legal by three hundred, right?_

_"I will destroy you!"_


	6. Rumors

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out._

_The original version can be found on MediaMiner. Please click the link in my bio. _

I just got out of school, and I'm looking for a job and a place to live, so it might be a while before I have the kind of privacy I need to continue this story at the previous rate. Speaking of privacy, I'm sending Kurama back to Togashi, on account of the gag getting old.

" Hardly," answered Kurama. "I'm going back because your lease on my contract was nothing more than some scrawled crayon and my own gullibility."

Never underestimate gullibility, my dear fox-bandit.

"Believe me, from now on, I won't! Now just hope my cab gets here before my patience with you grows thin."

Not gullibility, and not high-speed cameras.

Kurama gave a start as a manilla envelope found its way into his hands, "What are these?"

Exactly what they look like.

He found himself leafing through a sheaf of photographs, "What in blazes?!"

I take it back, you did look good in that Sephiroth costume.

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Kaede allowed her borrowed horse to set its own pace for the last leg of the return trip. For all her hurry, there was no sense exhausting the poor beast.

How would Inuyasha react to her news, she wondered. A stoic smile creased her heavy mouth as she realized that it was hardly more difficult to predict Inuyasha's responses now than it had been when he had remained still as a stone against the Goshinboku.

If Kagome had returned from her native land, then he would grumble and curse to make her scold him, perhaps complain about slaying shardless demons for ungrateful villagers. And then she and Miroku would drag him off by his ears. If Kagome had not yet returned, then Kaede would find him next to the Bone-Eater's Well, probably pacing a bare spot in the grass and swearing that he didn't miss Kagome one bit.

Kaede allowed her smile to soften. It was almost sweet the way Inuyasha craved the girl's attention in any form. In some ways, he was more demanding than the kitsune.

The priestess wondered for a moment when it had all become so familiar to her. It had been some time since the villagers had shown anything more than passing fear of the dog demon, even in his moods, but Kaede, oddly, found herself almost eager to be home again. She could almost hear the voices in her head of all the vibrant souls that Kagome had released, saved, or gathered into her village: First Shippo, and then the honey-voiced monk. Half the young girls in the village were quite in love with that Miroku. The other half had gotten within groping distance.

Kaede could see them in her mind's eye, these people whom she had suddenly missed and memorized, had learned every reaction to the point where she felt she could read their hearts as her very own.

And that was fine with her, she realized as the tired horse plodded into the view of the village proper. The world, after all, held more than enough surprises.

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"Is he a demon?" Inuyasha's voice was oddly eager as it filtered through the trees. "He's a demon, isn't he? I knew it! That talisman around his neck must be masking his-"

"No, Inuyasha," Miroku answered evenly. "Though I must admit that things might be simpler if he were."

Shippo scurried up to where the monk was deep in conversation with Inuyasha. "I didn't miss anything good, did I?" He blinked at the red handprint on Miroku's face. "Oh..." he said, crestfallen for only a moment as he seated himself at the foot of Miroku's robes and began to rip open a small plastic bag.

"Brat, you were supposed to be looking for Kaede, not nose-diving into Kagome's pack!" Inuyasha snatched the bag away from Shippo.

"Potato chips," Miroku observed. "Did Kagome say you could have those?"

"She would have!" Shippo jumped and swiped at the packet in Inuyasha's hands. "I was just saving her some time." He gave a little growl. "You only want to eat them yourself!"

"Pipe down, runt," Inuyasha waved at him, tucking the half-open bag into his robes. He turned to Miroku, "Now what were you saying? Hobo's a what?"

The monk's face turned serious.

"A natural," he explained. "It's something that Mushin used to talk about-"

"That old drunkard?"

Shippo tried to climb up Inuyasha's back and reach around into his haori, but the bigger demon batted his arm aside.

"That old drunkard," Miroku countered, "knows more about women than any other holy man alive!"

"The sad thing is that you don't realize how strange that sounds," Shippo sighed against Inuyasha's sleeve.

The big guys ignored him, as usual.

"A natural is rare in men our age..." Miroku went on.

"Well I wouldn't count that ugly little whelp to be more than a few years out of diapers."

"They are attracted to his innocence and sincerity. A natural finds himself irresistible to women, even without any skill," Miroku's voice thinned in disapproval, "or training, or finesse-"

Inuyasha snorted, "He manages to get girls' attention without being a pervert, you mean."

"Exactly! He's a menace!"

"Hojo did seem very polite," Shippo chimed in. "Maybe Kagome likes him better because he doesn't swear at her or put his hands where he shouldn't."

Inuyasha stiffened, "What did you say, runt?"

Shippo grinned inwardly, knowing exactly which words had set him off, "I said," he answered, "Kagome likes Hojo better than you because-"

That earned him a bop on the noggin and a head-first dive into the ground.

Shippo twisted into a sitting position and rubbed the new bumps on his head, "You sure get violent when you're jealous, Inuyasha..."

"What?" his arms went rigid at his sides, "I'm not jealous of that little human boy!"

Shippo gave him a dark glare. Miroku joined in.

Inuyasha growled briefly, "So what else did Holy Mushin have to say about neuterals?"

"Naturals," Miroku corrected.

"Whatever. How do we get rid of one?"

Miroku looked away, "Actually... Mushin told me that, upon encountering a natural, it is wisest to give way and seek other forms of entertainment."

The growl was louder this time. "No fucking way!"

"I agree," he answered. "This is not the time to retreat."

"Wait a minute," Shippo looked to Miroku. "Why are you so-" his eyes went wide. "Does Sango like him too?!"

"No!" the monk answered quickly, "I mean she- No, but..."

"She does?" Inuyasha tilted his head to the side, musing, "That might distract him..."

Miroku shot him a glare.  
Shippo scrambled up the side of Inuyasha's robes as the monk seemed to calm himself. "It is possible, Inuyasha," he said with closed eyes, in a voice that was just a little too bland, "that I have exaggerated the seriousness of the situation."

"Exaggerated?" Inuyasha scoffed. "What happened to your 'menace'?"

Shippo reached toward the edge of Inuyasha's haori.

"The very nature of a natural is that he truly means no harm to women - and often - to their virtue. If you fear that Hojo will supplant you in Kagome's affections, Inuyasha, then perhaps you should simply act more kindly toward the girl."

"I don't think he's going to plant me in her affections!" Inuyasha folded his arms and turned up his nose.

Shippo giggled, "I'd bet not!"

"I just don't want her distracted," the dog demon's voice was just a little too high-pitched. "We should right now be out looking for jewel shards, but instead we have to babysit a metal-reeking wimp of a human!" Shippo shook his head. Inuyasha was a terrible liar.

"What I am trying to say, Inuyasha," the monk's words were level. He was a better liar than Inuyasha, "is that perhaps if we give the boy a chance, we'll find that things aren't as bad as they seem. Why I almost enjoyed his company before I realized what he was."

Inuyasha snorted, absently batting Shippo's hand out of the way. "I'd rather just send him back where he came from!"

The monk looked away for a moment.

"I think that's a very good idea," he admitted.

"You bet it is!" Inuyasha pulled the bag from his robes and held it out of Shippo's reach.

"So," said Shippo, dropping to the ground, "where is he now?"

"He's touring the village with the girls," Miroku answered.

Then he paused.

Inuyasha's hands went stiff.

"Fuck..."

"Perhaps we should go and check on-"

"I think they went that way."

Shippo watched the two of them leave. A moment later, he picked the unnoticed bag up from the ground, ripping it open happily.

.

.

.

.

.

So what do you think is fair? Ten percent?

"I will not allow you to sell these pictures on the internet!" protested Kurama. "I want every copy, and the negatives."

Okay, fifteen.


	7. Just a Suggestion

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out._

_The original version of the Kurama arc can be found on MediaMiner. Please click the link in my bio. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

"Thank the Fates," said Kurama; "my taxi is here. Do you remember what I told you?"

I should only sell your likeness on the internet if I want to meet a lawyer demon.

"As Botan would put it: Bingo!"

Are lawyer demons cute too?

"I'm leaving now."

Does foxy-bish . net count as the internet?

His fists tightened. "Yes!"

See you later.

"That is not likely. It's been nice meeting-" Kurama cut himself off. "...it's been an experience," he decided, stepping into the taxi.

.

.

.

Sango had thought the tour would be short. Kaede's village was one like so many others that she had visited during her time as a taijiya and the quest for the shards, but Hojo's eyes had grown too large for the world to fill. He never seemed to run out of questions - how did the farming equipment work? Were the rice fields just for this place or did they send or sell to others? How many people lived here? He asked the village women about the dialect that they spoke, the clothes they wore, and the way they tied their hair - and all so politely as to make these married ladies blush as if the strange young man had made them young again.

What sort of creature had Kagome brought back through the well?

"It's amazing!" he exclaimed at last, "I'd always wondered what a place like this would really look like!"

"A village?" Sango asked gently.

Hojo nodded as he walked toward another unwitting villager. "A real village, not reconstructed... And the air is so clean!"

Sango gave him an odd look at that. Kagome covered a smile. The air had smelled clean enough out in the woods, but this was a place where humans lived. ...or more specifically, where humans and their animals lived. The overall scent of the village wasn't unpleasant - in fact, Sango found something reassuring in the sense of a human place - but "clean" wasn't one of the words she'd have picked to describe it.

"No chemicals," Kagome explained to Sango. "You know the medicines in my first-aid kit?"

Yes... Those things did tend to smell awful, for all the wonders they worked.

"Oh."

Kagome frowned, "You seem terribly quiet today, Sango. Is something wrong?"

"No!" she said immediately, looking back to where Hojo was talking with some children.

"No?" Kagome raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you don't want to-"  
"Isn't the old bat back yet?" came a familiar sneer.

"Not yet, Inuyasha," Sango clipped out an answer without turning around.

"How's the runt doing?"  
Sango shook her head. Since when did Inuyasha care enough to ask, anyway? _I haven't even seen Shippo since Kagome arrived_. "I suppose he's doing as he usually does."

The dog demon made a surprised sound, and Kagome's frown deepened for a moment.

"It was just a question, bitch. Since when do you act like such a-"  
"Inuyasha!"

"Ow!"

Sango turned away from watching Hojo to see that Kagome had stalked up to Inuyasha and was tugging hard on one of his forelocks..

Her voice dropped, but Sango barely made out, "I thought we had an agreement."

Her mind stilled. What sort of arrangement would Kagome make with Inuyasha? There was little that she could not compel from him with Kaede's rosary.

"What? Our deal means I can't call him names any more?"

Kagome released Inuyasha's hair, "I guess it doesn't," she admitted.

"See? Don't get worked up over nothing; I'll keep my end of it."

Sango blinked. A deal involving Shippo?  
"Alright, you can say whatever you want to him if he pesters you, but _no_ hitting him. None whatsoever."  
"Ease off; I remember!" the dog demon folded his arms into his sleeves and looked away. Sango's thoughts flew. Kagome had promised something that Inuyasha wanted badly enough to leave off hitting Shippo? But, aside from taunting Kagome and killing demons, that had to be his favorite thing to do!

There was no question but that Kagome felt responsible for the kitsune cub, perhaps even blamed herself for scattering the shards which the Thunder Brothers had used to kill Shippo's father. She looked after the boy and now she wanted Inuyasha to stop dealing with him so violently. It made sense, but it would have taken more than an appeal to the dog demon's benevolent nature.

There was no way that Kagome had promised him the Shikon no kakera, or the jewel itself once it was complete. She knew what Inuyasha could become if he absorbed their corrupt power, and Sango was sure that even Kagome would rather see him dead. What else could she...

The dog demon sniffed, swiping Kagome's hand away, "Don't get your skirt in a knot."

"Why you..."

No.

Sango looked Kagome up and down.

Certainly not.

Kagome might dress strangely, and from her books and stories, her people had a different idea of womanly virtue, but...

But everyone knew that she loved Inuyasha - everyone but Inuyasha, perhaps - and then there was the half-demon's often violent jealousy where Kagome's attention was concerned…

Is this some act of desperation? Perhaps Shippo is just an excuse, and she thinks that this may win him from Kikyo.

Sango worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Every village had some unfortunate girl who'd gone to foolish lengths to win a boy's love. Their fates were rarely kind, and their neighbors even less so. Surely Kagome was wiser than that.

"I think we both know that I'm not the one who has the faulty memory," Inuyasha shot back, " So quit harping, already; you sound like a sick rooster."

"Oooooh! _SIT!_"

The dog demon let out a startled, "Gowf!" as he hit the packed dirt of the village square.

Sango allowed herself a sigh.

Perhaps I worry too much.

.

.

.

Miroku made it to the village center in time to see Inuyasha hit the ground and Kagome stalked off with Sango in tow. He staggered the last few paces, dropping down to catch his breath, next to the twitching dog demon.

"I know Kagome's trick with the rosary isn't one of your favorite experiences, Inuyasha," he managed, "but sometimes it's the only way a poor monk like me can catch up with you."

Inuyasha muttered into the dust.

Miroku blinked, "Now that was hardly called for."

Inuyasha pried himself off the ground and shook his head from side to side, flicking his ears to rid them of the last of the dust. "What do you want, priest?" he growled.

"Aside from seeing to it that Kagome's-" he eyed Hojo in the distance, "-_guest_ is not overly comfortable? You ran off before you could tell me what you meant." His gaze grew intent. "As you left, I remembered something about Hojo having a talisman."

Inuyasha glared at the oblivious Hojo with a growl. The brown-haired boy had said something to make Kagome laugh. "If I stand still for much longer," the words came low between his teeth, "I think I might break an arrangement that I don't want to break."

Miroku blinked. An arrangement..? He shook his head and decided to wonder about it later.

"The talisman, Inuyasha," he pressed.

"Yeah," Inuyasha pulled himself to a sitting position. "Kagome said something about that chunk of glass around his neck. Said it _felt funny_," he imitated her high-voiced pout, "and then she shoved my face into the ground and jumped through the well." His face soured, "I dug myself out of the floor and went after her, and the next thing I knew, the ugly runt was standing there, holding one of Kagome's spellbooks."

Miroku paused, making what he hoped looked like the thoughtful gesture of rubbing his chin with one hand. Actually, he'd stopped listening about halfway through Inuyasha's speech, as he fixed his eyes on Sango, as she quietly leaned Hiraikotsu against a post and watched Hojo pester some hapless villager about his mule. Merciful Buddha, she looked good enough to dip in honey and eat a lick at a time. ...the girl, not the mule. Without the bulky weapon slung on her back, Miroku had a clear view Sango's profile.

"-stupid fuck said he _tripped_."

"Hm..." Miroku rubbed his chin again.

Sango's plain yukata wasn't nearly as kind to Miroku's less monkly impulses as that form-fitting armor of hers but-

Did you drop something on the ground, Sango? Better pick that up. ... Thank you.

"What I don't get is why he was able to get through the portal at all," Inuyasha's griping finally dragged him back to the matter at hand. "Shippo wasn't able to do it, even when he had Kagome's jewel shards."

Miroku pondered, for real this time, and finally answered, "It seems Kagome was perceptive as usual - the talisman around young Hojo's neck may be the key."

"So in other words," Inuyasha's eyes went bright, "if I rip the damn thing off his puny hide, he won't be able to come bother us anymore."

"It's a definite thought," he agreed.

"Alright, then!" something about the dog demon's voice was too emphatic.

"Inuyasha, what are you-"

But he had already become a red blur, streaking toward the Hojo and the others.

Something in Miroku went tight and cold.

"Oh no."

.

.

.

Kaede returned her horse to its keeper at the edge of the fields, and began to walk toward her own house in the village proper, grateful for the warmth of the day in her old bones.

As she came closer, however, the sound of voices, bright with trouble, met her ears.

"Inuyasha!" she recognized the young monk, "Wait! We don't know for sure yet!"

"What-?! Inuyashaaaa!!" Kagome and no other.

"I think there must be some mistake -urk!" Kaede frowned and quickened her steps. This last voice was unfamiliar, but the choking sound was not.

"Inuyasha, what trouble have you brought to me this time?" the priestess murmured to herself.

"Grrr... This thing's tougher than it looks."

"Inuyasha, put Hojo-kun down right now or I'll-"

Kaede stepped into view just in time to see Inuyasha with his claws only inches from a young man's throat, tugging insistently at what looked like a length cut from a frayed bowstring. Kagome's face was dark with anger, as Sango drew hiraikotsu up above her head for a blow. Behind it all there was Miroku, sealed hand outstretched as he ran toward them.

And then there was a light.

"What the-?!"

"Careful there!"

Kaede shielded her eyes as the glowpoint swelled like a tempest, suddenly thinking that her bones wouldn't need quite so much heat as this until she was ready to be burned and set to earth beside her sister's grave. In the flash before her arm went up, she barely registered Kagome reaching out with both hands to Inuyasha.

And then it passed.

Kaede opened her eyes to a black scorch mark, perfectly round, and bigger across than a grown man was tall. Miroku had just managed to sit up, numbly brushing ash from his robes, at one edge, and Sango was blinking dazedly from another. Further in, Kagome leaned up from where she'd shielded Inuyasha, who looked more than a little singed. The dog demon's arm twitched, and Kaede nearly winced in sympathy.

And at the center, unharmed, not even touched with soot, was a boy with strange clothes and cropped hair.

The stranger's voice was barely above a whisper as he regarded the scene before him.

"...oops."

.

.

Look who's back.

Kurama leapt out of the returning taxi before the door was fully open, "You know why I'm here," he growled.

Yes, but say it anyway.

"You have two minutes to return my boxers!"


	8. Maybe If He DID Have Three Heads

"I can't believe you stole my underwear," said Kurama, rifling through the chest of drawers.

Not even after the Sephiroth costume thing?

"I didn't notice they were gone until-" A pained look crossed his face. "Never mind. Just give them back."

Yes, the black ones with the little roses on them.

"Don't play coy; you'll never do it better than I can."

Did you wear them during the Dark Tournament?

"Yes, not that it's any of your-" He paused. "What are you doing with that laptop?"

I am adjusting my asking price.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out._

_The original version of the Kurama arc can be found on MediaMiner. Please click the link in my bio. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

Maybe not a three-headed toad.

A chattering monkey, perhaps. Or a clumsy baboon.

There was no denying that Inuyasha had been right, though: Hojo did start to look uglier the longer he hung around.

Miroku glaced sideways at where Kagome's simian guest was hovering near Sango, either ignoring or too stupid to notice Kaede's irritated hints that he should get out of the way.

"I was away to tend the young son of one of the farmers in the upland, who had taken ill with fever," Kaede narrowed her one eye as she looked over Sango's injuries. "Though had I known what would befall in my absence, I would not have acted so kindly with the horse."

"It's nothing, Lady Kaede," said Sango. "Please, one of the others-"

"Don't be so modest, Miss Sango," Hojo chimed in. "You got knocked down."

The taijiya gave him a confused, slightly annoyed look.

Miroku grinned widely before he could catch himself.

_I'm getting as bad as Inuyasha..._ he thought, quickly schooling his expression. _But even so... I know Kagome's time is less warlike, but surely there are accidents worse than these._ By the time Hojo turned around, Miroku was confident that only the shrewd Kaede had caught his lapse.

Kaede let go of Sango and stepped heavily toward the boy. Without warning or breaking stride, she reached out and took hold of his chin, turning his face one way and the other, "Look clever," she advised him. "I would hate to think of what power I saw today under a fool's direction."

Miroku managed not to say anything.

Hojo's eyes had gone very big, and he was looking sideways at Sango as if for reassurance. "I-" his voice was slurred by the old woman's tough fingers poking into his cheek, "I don't know, ma'am. I'm afraid it's never happened before."

Hojo flexed his jaw as Kaede let go of it to finger the talisman at his throat. Inuyasha had managed to stretch the cord, and it now hung a little lower on the outside of the boy's shirt. Miroku frowned as the stone glinted in Kaede's thick grip. There was a gleam inside it not wholly unlike the evil shining of a Shikon shard, but it was much subtler, much weaker, and it seemed almost... Miroku shook his head. Whatever secret that little clear pebble possessed, it wasn't going to reveal it to his unaided eyes.

"Why wear you this stone, child?"

Hojo seemed to lose a bit of his apprehension. "It was a gift from my grandmother, Lady Kaede," he said with finality. "She told me to wear it all the time, and a young man should always listen to his elders. I put it on then and there."

The old priestess blinked. "Did you not ask why she sought to give it to you?"

"No, ma'am," he told her brightly.

"Did you not ask what powers it held? How you were to unleash them or keep them bound?"

"No, ma'am."

Kaede's hand swept across her eyes for a moment. "Did you not wonder, boy, why she gave you such peculiar instruction?"

"Well," Hojo's gaze went to the ground and then returned to Kaede, "my grandmother always was a bit odd -she's a foreigner, you know- and once she started getting on in years, I think she got a bit..." Hojo bit his lip. "...odder."

Miroku looked from Hojo to Kaede and back. The young man wore what he supposed was his usual expression of vacant, cheerful, openness. Kaede's face was much harder to read. By his best guess, though, she found the echo in Hojo's skull to be a little unnerving.

"Odder," she repeated.

"Yes, ma'am. But she's my grandmother and she told me to wear it, and that's good enough for me," he finished.

"So you know not the name of this talisman?"

"No, ma'am."

"You know not by what manner it conjured the fireblast?"

"No, ma'am," he answered. "I'm really sorry about it, though, _really_! Inuyasha will come to soon, won't he? And the guy with the mule, did he get away alright?"

Kaede rubbed her eyes again. "If I were you, boy, it is not they over whom I would worry..."

"Lady Kaede," Miroku spoke up, "Inuyasha seemed to believe that Hojo's talisman is what permitted him to pass through the portal between the two realms," he neatly omitted his own involvement in said belief - no sense in complicating the issue. "The fireblast occurred when he attempted to pull the object from Hojo's neck, in the hopes of giving him a safe and swift return home"

Sango made an unladylike sound.

Miroku scowled. "Well it did."

Kaede frowned thoughtfully, giving the innocently gleaming stone another glance.

"We shall speak more on this matter when Inuyasha awakes," she said at last. "Though, as I returned, it was a far different bit of news that filled my mind."

.

.

.

Wood chips. Something in here smelled like charred wood chips, the kind the women used for cooking.

He wrinkled his nose. Something else smelled like a burnt-

Oh fuck...

-dog.

Inuyasha stifled a groan as he remembered the events of the past five minutes. Or had-? He opened his eyes to the dim interior of Kaede's house. The sunlight was coming through the window at a slant. How long had he been out? He was lying on his stomach on some sort of pallet, and beside him-

He inhaled, feeling a smile in his brain. That stunted scrub of a human might have gotten Kagome's attention, but he'd never have the last imprint of her scent, never know her without looking up.

"You're awake," she said gently. He twisted until he could see her legs folded into a kneeling position by his shoulder. "I was worried." She laid a soft hand on his back.

I know.

I saw you jump in front of me.

I was scared.

I worry about you every time you leave my sight.

"Keh!" he answered.

Kagome pulled her hand away.

Inuyasha drew his arms underneath his chest. "It takes more than some light show to hurt me!"

There was a pause.

"Your ears didn't get singed, did they?" she asked as he tried to push himself straight.

Inuyasha flicked them experimentally. "I don't think so. Why?"

.

.

.

"_OwOwOwOwOw! Cut it out you BITCH!!_"

Kaede paused at her task of knotting a bandage on Miroku's forearm.

Shippo looked up from where he'd been playing on the ground outside the hut.

"He's awake."

"Hm," observed Miroku.

.

.

.

"Watch the ears! Watch the ears!"

"What did you think you were doing?" Kagome hissed into the furry wedge that she was twisting hard between her fingers. "I thought we had a deal."

"We do have a deal!"

"Why did you attack Hojo?"

"I _didn't_." Inuyasha made what sounded almost like a dog's whine in the back of his throat, muffled against the cloth. "You said you wanted him safe back in his own time. Miroku said that that thing around his neck might be why he couldn't get back through the well -_ow!_- you can ask him."

Kagome went still for a moment.

Inuyasha did have an unpleasant habit of ripping things off people's necks for what he thought was their own good...

"I believe you, Inuyasha," she said at last. "I'm sorry I jumped to a conclusion like that, but the way you rushed up to Hojo, you really gave us all a scare."

"If you believe me then _let go of my fucking ears!!_"

"Oh!" Kagome released her grip. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha, I-"

The dog demon let out a stunted moan as he lifted his head off the pallet, pressing his tormented ears back against his skull. He opened his eyes and fixed her with a glare.

Kagome swallowed, blushing in embarrassment and leaned forward to gently rub the abused skin.

Inuyasha let out a squeak. "Kagome-?"

"Am I making it worse?" Kagome asked carefully. It was dim in here, but ...had Inuyasha's cheeks gone pink?

"No, but..."

Inuyasha's eyes rolled back in his head and he dropped down on the pallet.

Kagome bit her bottom lip, still stroking lightly at his quivering ears. _I really twisted those things hard, didn't I? They must hurt like-_

Inuyasha interrupted her thought by twisting over onto his back. Before Kagome's now-twice-as-open eyes, he lifted his shoulders and slid his head onto her knees.

Kagome pulled her hands back.

"Um ... Inuyasha?"

"Hm?" he asked without opening his eyes.

...actually it was more of that dog-whine noise again, only this time it sounded much less unhappy. Both ears flicked.

_Okay_... Kagome thought tentatively, _it's not like this is the first time I've been like this with Inuyasha..._ She shook her head. But the other time, he'd been wounded and pumped full of spider poison and _then_ he'd asked first!

Kagome bit her lip, and just barely stroked a finger down the soft fur.

Inuyasha arched his neck, snuggling deeper into her lap, almost like Buyo did when he wanted his tummy rubbed. ...but the cat had never managed anything like - there was no other word for it - like that doofy smile.

Kagome didn't know whether to be amazed or embarrassed. The expression on the Inuyasha's face as he got his ears scratched was so far off from his usual cocky smirk that she had to wonder if he'd finally gotten some kind of head trauma.

She worked her way down to rub at where each ear joined his skull. He made a tiny noise and one foot gave a twitch.

"Inuyasha, can you even hear me?"

He turned his head toward the sound of her voice, but didn't look up.

_This is freaky. I should totally stop. This is probably why he doesn't like anyone to touch his ears in the first place._

Kagome knew that Inuyasha trusted her at least a little, but seeing him let his guard this far down had left her dumbfounded. Inuyasha resembled nothing so much as a happy puppy, and while it was kind of cute - okay, so it was extremely cute - there was no question that the proud dog demon would be humiliated if anyone should ever-

"What are you doing, Higurashi-san?"

.

.

.

"You've put my shorts on eBay?!" seethed Kurama.

Mine weren't selling.

"Have you no shame?" he demanded.

Shame? Everyone knows my underwear is clean.


	9. Mistake

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. Meanwhile, the original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

"I demand that take my garments off the aution block at once!" seethed Kurama.

I can't. My computer is away at getting-repaired camp.

"Then we must your account from another machine."

Um...

Kurama rubbed one hand across his eyes, "Unless of course your laptop was the only thing programmed to remember your password."

.

.

.

Not when he'd first heard Naraku's name.

Not when his brother had reached out with a human arm to wield the stolen Tetsusaiga.

Not when the earth had opened up to swallow him, the sky to drown him, or the fire to scar his soul.

At none of these times had Inuyasha felt such a clenching dismay bite down on the muscles on either side of his spine. None of those crises had forced the animal in his mind to react in nerve-relay panic.

"What are you doing, Higurashi-san?"

Inuyasha's eyes flipped open to stare blankly at the smooth underside of Kagome's chin for half an arrested heartbeat before he flipped into a sitting position fast enough to make his hair fly, forehead nearly cracking against her jaw. He found himself half-crouched between Kagome and the door, one clawed hand outstretched and the other halfway to Tetsusaiga, as if puny Hojo were the vilest threat he'd ever known.

And somewhere in all of this, a mortified blush managed to rise on his face.

He hadn't... _seen_, had he?

"...Oh," the boy trailed stupidly. "I'm... sorry?"

Fuck!

He'd let Kagome touch him. He hadn't meant to, but she'd just reached out and then he couldn't make his hands obey him and slap her away. Before he knew it, he'd let himself sink off into something that smelled like her and felt like the opposite of pain, and what little of his mind wasn't buzzing like a horde of warm bees in the back of his skull began to work on an idea. ...Maybe even if he did still have to be so strong, just have to stay alive. ...maybe she wouldn't mind. ...maybe there was something that wasn't so bad about letting her hold him, even if he was supposed to be the demon and she was the weak human.

And Hojo had seen.

And if the soft-skinned runt had been a real enemy, he and Kagome would be dead.

Sour shame rose with the growl in his throat. For all Inuyasha knew, he'd been thumping his foot against the ground like the worthless fucking mutt that his asshole brother, Kouga, and half the humans on the planet always said he was. Not even fit to guard the camp if all some stupid girl had to do was scratch at his damn ears and he'd roll over.__

"Uh ...Hojo?" behind him, Inuyasha could hear Kagome pull out her I-can-explain voice.

"I'm sorry..." he said again, face twisting as if he were the one who was embarrassed. Stupid fuck, couldn't he just leave? Didn't he have people to tell?

"No! I'm sorry, Hojo," why was Kagome sounding so concerned? Inuyasha bristled. This wasn't her fault! He just shouldn't have been so stupid as to let her— "I should have told you that Inuyasha.—" Kagome choked off and Hojo's eyes moved from her to Inuyasha and back, but his face didn't lose that half-mortified grimace.

_What..?_ Inuyasha's mind rose out of its self-deprecating mire.

Tell him _what?_ And what could she want to say to Hojo – _about him_ – that she'd be afraid to let him hear?

"...Inuyasha was still asleep," Hojo finished in the same bland, apologetic tone.

Inuyasha blinked. A quick sound came from Kagome's throat.

"I'm sorry for startling you like that, Inuyasha. Miss Sango told me you were awake—"

Alright, Hojo wasn't known for his shining grasp of the deductive process, but was he fucking _blind?!_

But then... Maybe Inuyasha had moved fast enough. Maybe Hojo's eyes hadn't adjusted to the dim. Or maybe he just was that stupid.

Inuyasha was not complaining.

"—and I wanted to say I was sorry for ..uh..." he looked at the wall, shifting on his feet, "...for whatever it was that I did back there."

...but that didn't mean that he was happy. Kagome had—And then he'd—But what did she—Aaaagh!

"You're sorry?" Inuyasha managed. "You'd better be fucking sorry, you stupid—" Kagome smacked him in the back of the head. Inuyasha growled.

"You said I could call him names if he was an asshole, and he's being an asshole!"

"No he's not! He came in here to apologize!"

He turned around to snap at her and then remembered that this was his first look at her face since... Well, _since_. She was red, but was it because she was embarrassed about what she'd wanted to say to Hojo, because Inuyasha had insulted him, or just because she'd been caught stroking some stray?

"_And_ I'm sorry for waking you up when you're still hurt—" Hojo dragged Inuyasha's attention away from being embarrassed into the much more familiar sensation of being angry. That squishy pink toad thought that he'd hurt him with his little sparks? _Even without my fire-rat robe it takes more than a little flare to take me out! Even without Kagome shielding..._ Inuyasha's jaw set. _Kagome was shielding me..._ The insult struggled and died in his mouth.

"—but Miss Sango told me you were awake, and Kaede-sama said she wouldn't tell her news unless the both of you were there." He began to back towards the door, "I'll just tell them you're still a little out of it."

"You keep your ugly trap shut; I'm coming right now," Inuyasha lashed, reaching back to snag Kagome's wrist and pull her along.

Inuyasha only closed his eyes for a second. As much as he wanted to talk to Kagome – not that he had any idea what to ask – there was no way he was going to look weak in front of this tufty-haired whelp three times in the same day. He'd have plenty of time to speak with Kagome during the ten days she'd be staying here with him to hunt jewel shards.

...but that was only if he didn't rip Hojo's kidneys out through his neck.

.

.

.

"While I was seeing to the boy's illness," Kaede explained slowly, "his mother began to speak to me of a series of serpent attacks upon the settlement to the north..."

Shippo tried not to sigh too loudly. Sure, rumors about demons usually meant that they were going to go shard hunting, but this part was so _boring!_ Trying not to be too obvious about it while the priestess was talking, Shippo pulled his present out of his vest pocket at held it in both hands.

A ball. A yellow ball with something in it that made it sparkle. It didn't do much more than roll when it hit dirt, but when it hit stone... Shippo gave it a little toss, hoping that no one would see him playing when he was supposed to be paying attention.

"Serpent demons are common in mountains such as those," Sango was saying. "Why should this one draw her attention?"

The ball slipped his grip and rolled. He cringed inwardly, tracking it with his eyes. If that thing went down the hill he'd never catch it!

It came to a stop next to a clean black shoe. Shippo looked up at Hojo and blinked. The human was staring at him. He realized with a start that he'd probably _been_ staring at him since before Kaede had started talking.

_Hm... So I guess he's not super-polite all the time,_ Shippo realized. _He wasn't paying attention either._ The fox boy's eyes went wide as he remembered something Miroku had said to Inuyasha. _Then... maybe he's NOT a neuteral!_

"It is not the fact of these incidents," Kaede went on, "but of their ferocity which has become alarming. Even if what she said to me had been embellished by rumor and retelling, these attacks have grown more frequent, and the demons involved more fearsome."

"Demons?" Inuyasha asked with a crooked eyebrow. "As in more than one?" Shippo frowned. Was it just him or did the dog demon seem ...edgy? He kept looking at Kagome and then looking away. And when he did, his ears would start twitching like _crazy_.

Shippo set his tiny teeth. Had dog boy done something to make Kagome run away again? If she went back down the well this soon after being away so long, he'd chew those flippy ears until Inuyasha's head was as round as a human's. He'd sow screaming mushrooms around the Goshinboku so that he couldn't sleep. He'd steal all the ramen and throw it in the river!

But first he'd get his ball back.

Shippo checked that everyone else's attention was busy and started to scurry toward where Hojo was standing. The human went stiff. Was he afraid that Kaede would see and think he was as rude? Big deal. She already thought he was stupid...

As Shippo was sneaking behind Sango – Kirara, curled up by the taijiya's leg, opened one eye at him, but she wasn't a tattletale – he accidentically brushed a little closer than he'd meant. Biting his bottom lip, as he heard her draw in a quick breath, he noticed that Miroku had happened to sit a bit closer to Sango than he usually bothered. As nimbly as he could, Shippo grabbed the monk's nearest hand and planted it in the dust behind Sango's legs.

As he ducked for a little shadow by the rocks, he heard the smack of skin on skin.

"Houshi-sama!" her voice was dark, "Be serious while Kaede-sama is speaking."

Miroku made a choked noise. "But—! But I..." a silence, and then, "Think you, Priestess Kaede, that one or more of these demons may be in posession of a jewel shard?"

"It may be..." Kaede trailed off.

Shippo risked a glance at the others and realized that he wasn't the only one who'd been surprised.

Just a slap? And just a mumbled protest and a "be serious"? What about the shouting, the glorious thud of centipede jawbone on human head, the thunderous protests of monkly purity and virtuous intentions?

Grownups made no sense. Shippo shook his head and started to inch toward Hojo again. The boy hadn't stopped staring, even during the disappointing grope scene.

The human's jaw flexed as if he were thinking, though his face still seemed very pale. Then Hojo's foot gave a nudge, and the ball came scuttling quietly toward him. Shippo leaned down with both hands and caught it, tucking it quickly back inside his shirt. He gave the others another quick look. Either they hadn't noticed or they didn't care. Score!

Shippo scurried back to his place next to Kagome and looked back up as Kaede finished.

Kagome's friend Hojo sure was jumpy. Were all people from Tokyo that way, or was this guy just special? Did neuterals have twitchier brains or something?

Shippo shrugged. Hojo annoyed Inuyasha, which was a plus in itself, but unlike most things which annoyed Inuyasha, Shippo was fairly sure that Hojo didn't eat kitsune cubs.

He turned for another look at Hojo, and flashed him a smile with all his teeth. The boy jumped.

Shippo turned back to Kaede, frowning at the ground, then hid a slow grin as he eyed an unusually disgruntled-looking Inuyasha.

This was going to be fun.

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.

.

Quit complaining. I gave them back.

"No you didn't," said Kurama. "I had to buy them."


	10. Already

(Bows to Mafia Puppet)

"You will be reimbursing me for three taxis," listed Kurama, "the cost of my boxers, shipping and handling, and you will be reimbursing Koenma and Yoshihiro Togashi for the time that I didn't spend at work."

I already took care of the matter. By the time you return, neither Koenma nor your teammates will be willing to speak against me.

"What?" Kurama inquired with smooth alarm. "You sent a threat?!"

No, just a fruitcake.

"I'm calling another cab now."

.

.

.

"Inuyasha?"

So Kagome had found him. He hadn't been eager to leave her alone with Hojo – Kaede and the others didn't count – but after the old bat had finished her story, Shippo had plunked his fluffy rump down in front of the pasty moron and started asking a bunch of loud questions. How long had he known Kagome? Where did he learn to be so polite and well-spoken? He didn't get into fights, did he? Did he and Kagome get along really well? And he _never_ picked his teeth with his claws? Mr. Perfect had been too surprised to do more mumble and back away, but the message had come through loud and clear: Next to Hojo, Inuyasha was a boorish, violent scum-beast that should do everyone a favor and crawl back under its boulder.

At least he fucking knew how to knock.

He'd had to get out of there. He'd had to get out of there before something that Hojo needed very badly would be stuffed down where Shippo really didn't need it.

"Have you gotten your things together?" he growled, not ceasing his pacing. The clay bank beside the wide stream felt smooth and cool against his feet. Inuyasha managed to keep his disobedient eyes on Kagome long enough to see her blink before they darted back off toward the water.

"You mean you were serious?" she asked. "Inuyasha, if we leave today we won't get two hours of daylight, and Hojo—"

"It'll be two hours that we won't have to do tomorrow, and your precious Hojo will be just fine staying here with Kaede."

"He's not my—"

"Because he's sure as hell not coming with us!" he snapped and turned his back on her, staring out at the troubled waves as he tried to make his thoughts run still.

Stupid girl! Was it so much to ask for a good night outside in the woods? He closed his eyes and inhaled. Yes... To fall asleep in some leafy place where he could look down at Kagome snuggled into that stupid blanket-thing and watch her breathing level out as Shippo curled up on her stomach. Seeing her drift off like that did manage to calm him. Inuyasha gave a snort. It probably had something to do with the fact that she'd only once managed to sit him in her sleep.

From the corner of her eye, he saw her draw back her hand, fingers sliding against the nothing in between them. Questions that he didn't know how to ask made him huff and spin away again.

"Come on, Inuyasha, let's leave first thing tomorrow."

In case helpless little Hojo needed something in the night? So she could wait by his bedside, stroke his head until he—

"It'll give Kaede time to take a look at the well."

Oh. Yeah, that was a better reason.

He huffed in a way that she always took for agreement.

"Thanks, Inuyasha!"

If he turned around, he'd see her smiling. He'd see her standing with one toe poking at the gravel, her hands behind her back, and a smile all for him if he'd only look.

"Where is the old bat, anyway?" he demanded.

"She _was_ traveling all day," Kagome drawled back, "she probably went back to her house to rest. She looked really tired!"

"Good, then she shouldn't be hard to catch."

.

.

.

"Well?"

"What of it?" answered the old priestess.

"What did you find?!" there was an odd sort of impatience in the dog demon's voice, almost as if he had already planned what to do if she failed to answer, and didn't think it would work.

It was hardly strange, getting hauled away from her evening tasks. As a priestess, she'd often had to leave things unfinished when there was something that couldn't wait. Sango had offered to finish cooking the old woman's dinner. The boy Hojo, oddly enough, had immediately moved to help her. It was a rare lad who did more about women's work than ask if it was done yet. If Kaede didn't suspect that he was simply too slow-witted to know a kitchen from an outhouse, she'd almost have approved. His diligence seemed contagious, as the usually lazy monk Miroku had been reluctant to leave the fires, only following after Inuyasha, Kagome and herself once Sango had driven him off with a strike to the face. ...but that, too, was hardly unusual.

"I can find nothing amiss with the Bone-Eaters Well, Inuyasha," she answered carefully. "Save only that it seethes as it always has with the evil of unconsecrated remains."

He let out a quick growl, "Look again!" he demanded.

"Inuyasha!" scolded Kagome. Miroku gave a short word and shook his head, muttering something about futility and Inuyasha's lack of manners.

Kaede was sure that the dog demon would have been able to hear both of them well if not for the clear sound of teeth grinding together in his head. The old priestess watched as Inuyasha clenched both hands into fists, a look of torment on his face until he finally spoke, biting off each word like flesh from a hated enemy's bones.

"Please, Kaede, look at the well again."

Kagome looked up. Miroku froze with his hand an inch from Kagome's behind. Even Kaede had to blink.

No, she thought, the strange part of this affair was standing right in front of her wearing red hakama and a tortured expression. Inuyasha had not only asked her help, asked it of her with something that someone who didn't know him might have mistaken for humility. Her thoughts grew serious. What manner of creature was this "Hojo"? There had been no mistaking the dark looks Inuyasha sent his way. If the young demon wanted him gone, and badly enough to bite back his tongue, then perhaps there was more danger in him than his empty-headed demeanor would imply.

But then, if this was what change a dewy-eyed young nobleman could bring to unruly Inuyasha then perhaps it was worth putting up with all the dew between his ears.

It almost made her sorry to say it.

"Inuyasha, I have done what I can do."

The dog demon's face twisted up again, "If there's nothing wrong with the well, then why won't it fucking take him back?"

"I must admit, Priestess," Miroku added in, "the same question troubles my mind. Hojo belongs in Kagome's time. Why wouldn't the portal work for him?"

"I know not why," said Kaede. "But I might guess it has something to do with the charm he wears about its neck. It does indeed hold power, though of what nature I could not tell."

"You don't know either?" Kagome asked.

Kaede shook her head, "That it has something to do with fire we have already seen," she said. "Beyond that, the power in young Hojo's talisman is foreign to me." Only...

"We need to find a way to get the fucking thing off his ugly neck, then," Inuyasha seemed almost thoughtful. "Maybe the fireblast was just because I'm half demon. Maybe it would work if you tried to do it, Miroku."

"Wha- what—Me?!" the monk jumped.

Kaede barely heard their prattle. Now that she had truly thought on it, the talisman did remind her just a bit of something, but—

"Inuyasha—" the monk took a breath and composed his features. "Perhaps you can recall, Inuyasha, that Sango and I were almost as badly burned by the fireblast as you were. In fact, the only person it left unharmed was Kagome. She, if anyone, should attempt to remove Hojo's talisman."

Kagome looked a bit pale for a second, but then seemed to mull it over, "Do you think it would work, Kaede? Do you—"

"It doesn't matter what she thinks!" Inuyasha cut her off.

She'd felt something like – no, it hadn't been very much like the little wickedly blinking stone, but similar. Had it, too, concerned fire?

"You're not doing it."

Kaede's memories scattered again as the girl stamped her foot, "I can do what I want!"

"And you want sweet little Hojo back to Tokyo safe and sound," he sneered back. "Well you're going to have to settle for him staying here with Kaede while we go after this shard, 'cause we can't afford to have Naraku snatch another one out from under us!"

Oh... Kaede's thoughts went cold as she remembered something quite different. This wasn't going to be good.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome protested.

"No, Inuyasha is right, Kagome," Miroku cut in. "Hojo will be able to manage here until we return with the shard, and this is the more pressing of the two issues."

Kaede opened her mouth to answer, but found herself at a loss for how to place her words so as not to further inflame the situation.

"Perhaps," Miroku was still trying to calm Kagome, "while we are gone, you, Kaede or even Hojo may have some idea as to why he has become trapped here. Perhaps leaving the matter alone for a few days is what needs to be done."

The old woman cleared her throat.

"I think it better," she said carefully, "that you should take young Hojo with you."

Kagome looked up. "Hm?"

"What?"

"Why?!"

Kagome narrowed her eyes at Inuyasha and the monk, both of whom promptly looked away.

"While you were away sulking, Inuyasha—" the dog demon gave a huff, folding his hands into his sleeves, "—I heard some of the young men at their talk," Kaede explained smoothly. "It seems that your guest, Kagome, has made himself more popular with some of our village folk than others."

The monk covered his eyes with one hand, "Already?"

Kagome went on, "If he were to remain here without your supervision, then I fear some accident might befall him."

"And wouldn't that be a terrible shame?" grumbled Miroku under his breath.

Inuyasha gave an affirmative grunt.

Kagome gave them each another glare. "Kaede, do you really think that Hojo would be safer chasing demons with us than here? I'm sure the villagers aren't that _im-ma-ture!_" she stretched the last word out toward Inuyasha.

The dog demon gave a growl, "The stupid girl is right for once. So what if the human boys here don't like him and he's too stupid to know? The worst that'll happen to the runt is they'll slap him around a little, maybe give him a black eye. Or break some of his teeth," Inuyasha suddenly appeared less sullen, "Or his nose! Or they'll smash his puny—"

"_Sit!_"

"—hkkk!"

"Yes, Kagome," said Kaede. "I do think you should take the boy with you. Though my information may be faulty, the serpent demons do not seem to be allied with Naraku, and you have all managed to protect young Shippo from threats of their caliber many times."

Inuyasha pushed himself into a sitting position spitting out some dirt, "The runt is still alive because has enough sense to know when to get lost! Hobo would probably walk right up to the snake demons and say 'bite me!'"

Kagome giggled.

"What's so funny, bitch?" demanded Inuyasha.

"Make no mistake," Kaede told him, "I do not expect Hojo to fight alongside you. It is clear to me that he knows little of that. Simply keep him from harm, and, as Miroku has said, perhaps when you return some solution may present itself."

The monk was nodding with something like sad resignation. Inuyasha was still seething. "How much daylight do we have left?"

"A little more than an hour, maybe," said Miroku. "Why?"

"We're leaving, that's why!"

"Now?" Miroku seemed incredulous. Kagome only sighed. "Why not wait until tomorrow?"

"Because there are shards to find!" he shot over his shoulder as the four of them started back toward the village, "And because your stupid neuteral might get himself de-neutered if we don't!"

"_Natural_," Miroku corrected, "and since when is he mine?"

"De-huh?" asked Kagome. Her eyes went narrow, "I want to know what this is about!"

"It's just something Miroku was telling me about. Hojo's neutered or something."

The monk started, "That's not what I said!"

"Neu— what? Inuyasha, when I said I wanted Hojo home in one piece, I meant _unharmed_."

"He is in one piece!" the dog demon answered. "Or at least he was the last time we saw him," he gestured to himself and Miroku.

Kagome's eyes went very big. "You... That can't be right."

"Kagome, that's not what I said!!" insisted Miroku.

"What, do you want us to check on him before we leave?"

Kagome slapped both hands over her mouth, a horrified squeak leaving her throat.

"Well I could—"

Miroku slapped a hand over Inuyasha's mouth. "My friend, stop talking and let me salvage both of our reputations!"

Inuyasha shoved his hand away, "Don't touch me with those! I don't know where they've been!"

"So you..." Kagome trailed off, "You guys didn't—"

"Didn't what?" demanded Inuyasha.

"No," Miroku assured her. "At no time, in no place, with no inclination."

Kaede shook her head. Perhaps Hojo would indeed be better off left behind, but at least an old woman could get some peace and quiet. She closed her eyes for a moment as the three in front of her began to settle down. She'd been troubled a moment ago. Had she forgotten something?

.

.

.

What's that?

Kurama held up a small folder, "I'm reading up on our next task. When I found out I had to come back here, I knew I'd miss more work, so Botan wrote me these briefs to look over."

They look fine to me.

Kurama looked up in horror, "What the—?!" He leaned over and snatched back a pair of blue briefs embroidered with the YYH logo.

Well they do.

The fox demon stared in confusion at his undisturbed beltline. "How did you _do_ that?!


	11. Promise

"How did you do that?" Kurama asked in amazement. "I thought you just nabbed my boxers while I changed out of that demeaning costume, even though I could have sworn I put them back on, but now with—I mean—I didn't feel a thing!"

I stole it from an episode of "The Liam Smith Show."

"Oh." He paused, and a slightly erratic taxi pulled up to the curb. "... I think that's my ride," he said, opening the door and sliding inside. "Don't write. Don't call. Just send us the reimbursement check."

There was a shrill squeak from the driver's seat and and wild eyed form turned to face him. "HiyaI'mgonnadriveyatoSPIRITworldheeehaha!" the driver raved, biting the feet off of a nine-inch scale chocolate Hiei.

I read that having different-sized pupils is a sign of brain damage. Or terminal sugar rush.

Kurama's eyebrows shot up.

The driver leapt at Kurama, "DoesFoxywannachocolatebunny? Does'eDOES'E?!"

"What?!"

I don't think he does.

"Not another one!!" Kurama pried at the window, which the driver was busily rolling shut. "Let me out!"

Later!

"HAha!!"

As the cab pulled away, Kurama shouted, "I must _escape!_"

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. For the original version, please click the link in my bio and go to MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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.

.

"Shippo, fetch me that long stirring spoon."

"Make me."

"Shippo!" Sango warned.

"You're not Kagome," he pouted.

"No," Sango's voice darkened. "I throw harder than she does."

On her right, she heard Hojo extinguish a quick laugh. Shippo heaved a long-suffering sigh and dragged himself over to poke through the priestess' spartan kitchen tools.

"I could have gotten it," the simple whisper carried just a bit of disapproval.

Sango kept her eyes on the rice pot. Should she have asked Hojo to get it after all? He had offered to help her, but then, she wasn't used to that. Oh, Inuyasha or Miroku wasn't above giving or getting help in a battle, but they became extremely reluctant when it came to the little, necessary and thankless things.

Hojo laughed, "Maybe it's for the better," he said sheepishly, "We wouldn't want the food to burst into flames."

She felt a smile tug at the edges of her lips. There he was, making himself into the joke. So different from Inuyasha's or Shippo's sneering taunts.

"I mean, even without this thing," Sango didn't look up, but heard his skin against the cord on his neck, "I'm completely useless in the kitchen. I can't cook at all."

Sango tried to picture the boy – _any_ boy, really – crouched over a hearth fire and stifled a giggle. She supposed some men, the ones with neither servants nor wives, had surely figured out how to fend for themselves, but even in a village that trained some of its daughters as warriors, much more care was taken to see that the girls all knew how to look after a male of the household than the other way around.

"Here," a slim wooden handle was pushed into her hand. Shippo's tail twitched impatiently as he looked toward the door.

"It's alright, Shippo," Sango sighed, "you may as well go and play for a while. It looks like it's taking Kagome longer than usual to get Inuyasha to stop sulking."

The little demon gave a smirk and started toward the door, but then he bit his lip for a moment, and seemed to give Hojo a speculative look. Then with a tiny laugh he was gone.

Sango gave the pot a stir, not that it needed it. She knew that Inuyasha rarely responded to anyone but Kagome when he got to pouting, but she didn't like being left behind. For all that Hojo's presence was agreeable, being alone with him seemed to make Sango's tongue stick to the sides of her mouth. What if she said something silly or boring? ...though, considering how the man with the mule had held his interest, she wasn't sure she had to worry.

Why couldn't she think of something to say? She'd never had this problem with that nobleman Takeda or the hentai monk. Sango's lip twisted. That Miroku! Always trying to slide his hands too low, always flirting with foolish girls, and whenever she called him on it, he'd just make a beatific mask of that smooth face and protest his slandered virtue. The next time Sango saw him she was going to—

"Miss Sango, how long has he been with you?"

She dropped the spoon onto the coals and had to scramble to pick it up again before it charred. "With—?" she asked, "Who?"

"Him," Hojo inclined his head toward the door where, almost an hour earlier, she'd flung the monk headfirst.

"Him?"

"The little guy. With the tail?"

"Oh, Shippo!"

"Yeah. Who'd you think I meant?"

"No one!" she clipped, hoping to the gods that she wasn't blushing. Oooooooh! That infuriating little pervert was making her blush in front of Hojo! And he wasn't even there! "Ah..." she tried to regain her balance. "Shippo was with Inuyasha and the others before I met them," her irritation froze and cracked. ...that was when Naraku had tricked her into attacking them, while he stole her brother's body from its grave.

"And how long ago was that?"

"Several months..." she let her voice grow quiet. That long already? No... Her thoughts stuck to the back of her throat. Longer.

"He..." Hojo sat crouched by her right, eyes turned to the side as he watched her, "he must have been a lot littler then."

Sango shook her head, "Not really. He was about the same size as he is now." Shippo and Kohaku both. The last time she'd seen him, he'd been no taller than the last time she'd seen him alive. At eleven and a half, he should have kept growing and growing...

"So you feed him and feed him," Hojo's hands made a circle motion in the air, "but he doesn't get bigger?"

"Shippo? No," Sango pulled herself back to the present. "Not really."

Hojo looked thoughtful for a moment, smooth brow furrowing. Sango frowned. Was he worried?

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh..." Hojo looked away, a hint of pink showing on his cheeks, "It's silly."

"If it was serious enough to be worth asking..."

"Alright," Hojo looked up at her a bit sheepishly. "But you have to promise not to make fun of me!"

Good thing Inuyasha wasn't here... "I promise," she assured him.

"When I was little, my grandmother used to tell me stories about ...well," his eyes searched the rafters, "I guess you could say it's a kind of a demon that can—"

"_Na-tu-ral_, say it with me, Inuyasha."

"Give it a rest!" the dog demon snapped at Miroku as the two of them quite satisfactorily barged into Kaede's house.

"I'll give it a rest when you get it right!" said the priest with something that was almost a shudder in his voice, "I do _not_ want that happening again!"

"Hey Sango, is dinner done yet?" Inuyasha asked, "Maybe if we cram something in this loudmouth's trap, he'll shut the hell up."

Beside her, Sango could hear Hojo give a huff, "Now that's not very nice!" Sango blushed even more deeply. She could fight her own battles – and both these jerks had the bumps to prove it – but to have someone who wasn't herself or Kagome stick up for her...  
A quiet sound came from near Miroku's throat. Sango gave a confused blink. Was he... Was that his teeth grinding together?

Sango huffed. Ordinarily, she doubted her ears would have been sharp enough to hear something so small, but the sound must have been strengthened by the echoes in his skull.

The monk composed himself as he always did, "Please forgive us," his voice was runny with the cheap kind of sincerity, "my dear Sango. I believe that hunger may have addled the brains of our esteemed companion, and driven his tongue to desecrations of the speech to which he would never otherwise be prone."

"I can see that," she answered dryly. "He told you to shut the hell up instead of shut the f—"

"Leave me alone you fucking monk!" Inuyasha snapped.

"Was Kaede able to figure out why I can't get home?" Hojo interrupted.

Of course... Of course he was simply in a hurry to go back. He wasn't like Kagome, with an obligation to remain until all things were done. Sango compelled those thoughts to stop. Why should it matter to her that some stranger returned home? So what if it was nice having a.... Having a whatever-he-was around?

"She said it might be that chunk of glass on your neck," said Inuyasha.

"Hm..." Hojo's deep brown eyes sunk to the floor as he fingered the clear stone.

"What perplexes me, Hojo-san," Miroku's smooth voice reached her ears, "is why you do not simply remove the amulet and try the well again."

"It's worth a try," Sango added. "When Inuyasha tried to take it from you, you weren't hurt at all."

"Indeed," Miroku's smooth voice turned on the dog demon, "now that I look back on the incident," he looked with seeming idleness at his singed sleeve, "I wonder why you did not simply ask Hojo to do so in the first place."

"Huh?" the dog demon looked up, giving a meaningful tug at the prayer beads around his neck. "Yeah, well sometimes I forget that these things can come off!"

"It's just as well," Hojo interrupted. "I... I couldn't."

Sango suddenly felt the weight of the young priest's eyes on the boy, "Indeed?" he asked with a lightness she knew was false, "and why not?"

"Well... My grandmother told me not to!"

"Hojo-san," Sango said gently before Inuyasha could open his mouth, "It is one thing to be obedient, but do you really think that becoming trapped here would comply with your elders' wishes?"

"But..." his baby-brown eyes brimmed with a wide helplessness that left no space for argument, "I _promised!_"

"I don't believe this. Sango, will you do this lump of fungus a favor and yank that thing off his head?" Inuyasha smirked, "I think it's cutting off the air to his brain."

Hojo turned to her immediately, "I won't let you!"

"Give it up, twerp," Inuyasha interrupted, "Sango could drop you like a burning-hot dung demon."

"Hm," Miroku's sealed hand moved to his chin as he looked from her to Hojo, "I believe she could at that..."

"And Kagome would let _her_ get away with it," grumbled Inuyasha.

"Guys, I promised my grandmother that I wouldn't take it off, and I'm not going to, no matter what happens!" He folded his arms and looked away.

"Surely, Hojo," Miroku began, "even if your grandmother told you never to remove that talisman because she did not wish to lose it, losing a grandson would be a greater regret. And if she gave it to you because she believed it would protect you, then it could best serve her wishes by being left behind."

"I don't know why she made me promise, but she did. A promise is a promise and that's that!"

Inuyasha gave a snort, "It wouldn't be the last promise you break in your life," he muttered before speaking up, "If that hunk of rock really is what's keeping you here, then you're even more of a moron than I thought. You can either take it off now and go back to Tokyo, or you can wait for some demon to choke on it when he bites off your head!"

"Inuyasha!" Sango protested.

"Well we'll just have to find another way, that's all," Hojo said stiffly. "Please excuse me, Miss Sango," he said as he got to his feet. "I think I'll go find Higurashi if you don't mind."

Sango only nodded. "She should be out on the path from the well," Miroku told him, "she decided to slow down and walk with Kaede."

Hojo looked up, "And you two rushed on without them?" he asked in surprise.

"Well—" Miroku stuttered, "We... What?" but Hojo had already shaken his head and gone.

"I hate him," Inuyasha said darkly.

"Hm," Miroku agreed.

.

.

.

_What's happened to Kurama?_

What are you doing back?

"Despite all my expectations," he said, "that crazy cab driver did get me to work alive, but when I got there..."

Did everyone like the gift I sent?

"That's why I'm here. I would like to establish that a strawberry fruitcake with 'I'm Very Sorry' stencilled on top does not count as reimbursement."

They ate it all before you got there?


	12. Questions

(Bows to Blankis)

"Well," said Kurama, "Hiei should be out of the hospital soon."

I did not know he was allergic to strawberries.

"Not many people did," he clipped.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available at MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

"What's this for?" Hojo asked, holding the bow at arm's length.

"I'm going to teach you to shoot arrows," Kagome said brightly. "It doesn't take all that long to learn – most of it's just practice – and this way you'll have something to use if a demon comes at you."

"Kagome, I don't know about this..."

Kagome took Hojo's free arm with both her hands. "Oh, come on!" she cut off as she felt a small tug on the end of her skirt.

"Can I come too, Kagome?" Shippo asked, making his eyes as big as he possibly could. Kagome felt a pang of guilt. She'd been gone days longer than usual. Sango and Miroku and probably even Inuyasha looked after of Shippo while she was back home, but for some reason the little guy seemed to latch onto her. He often complained about Inuyasha bopping him on the head or being mean to him while she was away, and Kagome didn't doubt it. Judging by how steamed Inuyasha had to get before he'd drag her back down the well, her absence probably made Shippo act up as much as it made Inuyasha seethe. The combination was probably what had led to so many bumps on the kitsune cub's little head, and so many Inuyasha-shaped holes in the ground near the village.

"Uh..." Hojo's nervous voice brought her back to reality.

"Sure, Shippo," she agreed. "You can come with us."

Hojo made a tiny sound in the back of his throat. Kagome looked up at his suddenly putty-pale face, and wished she could tell him she was kidding about the demons.

"The thing you have to remember when you're just practicing," she said instead, "is to be careful not to break the arrows. They never show it in the movies, but it takes a really long time for a guy to make one, and it's kinda' hard to get more..."

"Uh huh..." Hojo seemed a bit absent.

Kagome looked at the ground for a moment. Shippo was tossing his ball in the air as they walked. She wanted to tell Hojo that everything was going to be okay, that he'd make it back to Tokyo safe and sound, that the world wasn't cruel and scary, just like she wanted to tell Shippo that she'd never have to leave him alone.

It wasn't fair.

Lying to him about Inuyasha calling her names was one thing – what she'd told him was closer to the truth than any real thing she could have gotten him to believe – but if he walked out of Kaede's village without knowing how dangerous it could be, he might not walk back.

Of course, he might not walk back anyway, but...

"Are we going shard hunting tomorrow, Kagome?" asked Shippo.

Kagome nodded, "Inuyasha wanted to go tonight, but Miroku and I talked him out of it."

"Awww..." Shippo clutched his ball in both hands, "I missed it?"

"Shippo, it wasn't _that_ bad."

"So you didn't have to sit him?" he asked archly.

Kagome sighed. Shippo started to snicker.

"Two sits," she admitted, "and Miroku got him on the head with his staff a few times."

Shippo rolled back on the ground and laughed.

Hojo coughed, "I always thought you had pretty good arms for a girl with muscular palsy," he chimed in over Shippo's giggles. "I guess this is why, huh?"

Kagome's mouth soured. "Jii-chan told you I had muscular palsy?"

"Yeah!" Hojo was almost laughing, "I guess I was pretty stupid to believe it. And he said that the calluses on your hands were an allergic reaction to your carpal tunnel treatments!"

"_What?!_ Oooooh! I'm so gonna yell at him when I get home!"

Hojo stayed pretty lighthearted until they made it to the little clearing that Kagome had picked out. He always seemed to have his eyes somewhere else when she showed him how to string the bow and fit the arrow to the string. Shippo seemed happy to bounce the ball and chase it; he ran around so much that Kagome had to scold him to keep out of the way of Hojo's shaky practice shots.

The kitsune rolled his eyes, "It's not like they're your arrows, Kagome!"

Hojo turned to her quizzically, "What does he mean?"

Kagome suddenly didn't want to answer. "Well, uh..."

"Kagome can shoot holy arrows!" Shippo piped up, catching his ball and hopping on top of a stump so that he was nearly eye level. "When she hits a demon with them, they get purified like _that! Bleeeeeh!_" Shippo threw his arms wide and fell over backwards. He rolled to a stop and hopped back onto the stump, "She nearly dissolved Naraku's body with one shot!" he said proudly. "If his nasty head hadn't flown off before she could hit him again, things would be a lot better right now, listen to me!"

Kagome felt her cheeks go red, but she didn't feel warm at all.

Those big brown eyes that the girls in homeroom couldn't get enough of were fixed on her like she never wanted them to again. For a second she wanted Hojo to say that he didn't believe Shippo, that Kagome was just plain old Kagome, and all this talk about powers was something a kid would make up.

"Holy arrows?" Hojo asked, blinking.

"Eh..." Kagome looked away. "Why don't you try to hit that tree over there? The one with the knothole on the left..." Hojo hesitated and she pulled the bow out of his hands, "Here, watch me do it first."

"This is kind of confusing, Kagome," he said as she shifted her grip on the bow and knocked the arrow.

"I know it's a really long story, but I'll try to help however I can," she said brightly as she pulled string and fletching back to her ear, "Just ask me whatever you want!"

"Okay!" Hojo brightened. "So who's Naraku?"

The arrow went singing off into the leaves.

.

.

.

It just wasn't all her story to tell; it wasn't _only_ that she didn't want to tell him...

Kagome sighed. "He's our enemy," and "It would be bad if he got any more of the jewel," had seemed to satisfy Hojo anyway. Now they were on their way back to Kaede's, with a first archery lesson and no dinner under their belts.

But the death-curse on Miroku, the slaughter of Sango's whole village, Kikyo, Kohaku, Inuyasha, half Kouga's tribe and the gods knew how many other slashed souls... Hojo wasn't ready, could never be ready for that.

And he was going to find out.

How would he react, she wondered. Would he want to hit something, like when he'd heard Inuyasha call her a name, or shout like when he'd seen Miroku grab Sango's butt? She shook her head. Those had been tiny violations of what Hojo saw as rightness in the world. How would he even wrap his mind around Naraku when the things he did could still make Inuyasha go quiet?

Inuyasha... Kagome's throat went dry. In all the rush to hear Kaede's rumor of a Shikon shard, she'd forgotten! Hojo had seen her in the house with Inuyasha!

Or... had he? _And Inuyasha jumped away from me so fast,_ Kagome felt herself blush into the dimness. Inuyasha had just seemed so ...mortified. He didn't even act that way about Kouga. Did he really feel that silly about sitting there with her? She shook her head. One dumb junior-high boy at a time. _Maybe Hojo _didn't _see anything. _

But how long had he been standing there before she'd noticed him? He'd seen. He'd thought that Inuyasha had been sleeping, so he must have seen him lying down. ...in her lap! Suddenly mortification didn't seem so silly.

_He didn't sound embarrassed. Or mad..._ Maybe— Kagome's neck lifted in relief – maybe she'd been misreading him. Maybe Hojo wasn't as head-over-heels for her as Yuka and the others said, and his constant offers of remedies and outings were really just kindness from a kind boy.

But he'd still have been _embarrassed_. Kagome's jaw set. She was certain that Hojo had seen her with Inuyasha, and had gotten the wrong idea. She just didn't have any clue what wrong idea it was.

There was always – she cringed – asking him. She worried her lip between her teeth. _"Hi! Um... I know you saw me holding a half-human boy's head in my lap and caught me petting his pretty puppy ears. How does that make you feel?"_ Okay, so he'd think she was a little weird...

But considering the made-up medical absences, the well, the demon buddies, Miroku, and Shippo's little melodrama about her miko powers, he'd probably figured that out already.

Kagome tossed the words around in her head, trying to come up with a way to put it that wasn't awful. It was impossible. Resigned, she pulled in a breath and turned around.

—to find herself alone. She blinked. How preoccupied had she gotten? Losing her guard like this, it hadn't happened in months. ...Inuyasha was going to be so mad at her!

"Hojo?" she called out, first walking and then running a few steps back toward the clearing, "Shippo?!" She'd let Hojo carry the bow, but if something had snuck up on them—

Voices reached her, and the her breath eased back into the evening.

"...she really likes them; they're her _favorite_. You should give her some!"

"I ...uh! I better not!"

"Go on and take them! It's okay!"

_Huh?_ she thought. _What's Shippo talking about?_

"What are you guys doing back there?" she stalked up to where Shippo was dragging Hojo by one limp hand, pointing at something by the side of the path with his free arm. "Shippo," she said, tapping one foot, "Are those the flowers that made Inuyasha get sick that time?"

"Are they?" Shippo turned toward the plant and made a great show of looking it over. "My mistake, Hojo-san, these aren't Kagome's favorite flowers after all."

She narrowed her eyes, but still sighed and picked the kitsune up off the ground, ruffling his tufty hair. "What did I tell you about provoking people?"

Shippo folded his little arms and put on a serious face – totally marred by the fact that he was being cuddled in her arms at the same time. "Like I said, Kagome," he sniffed innocently, "it was an honest mistake. You know I'd never play tricks on Inuyasha."

"Uh huh..." she rolled her eyes at Hojo, who was still staring at the demon cub in her arms.

"Why would I want Inuyasha to stay up sneezing all night? It makes him even more bad-tempered than normal!" Shippo protested.

"Yeah, you're soooo innocent," Kagome rolled her eyes. "You're spending too much time with Miroku."

"I am a kitsune," he said putting on a pretty good imitation of what she'd dubbed Miroku's "Buddha Face."

"Don't... Don't kitsune cast illusions and play tricks on people all the time?" Hojo asked hesitantly.

Shippo stuck his chin in the air, "I won't say that I don't enjoy deceiving an enemy, but I would never—"

"Yes they do," Kagome said dryly.

"And you like me anyway!" Shippo insisted.

"You bet!" she shifted her grip and tickled him.

"Kagome! Stop it!" he giggled helplessly. "You're embarrassing me!" Kagome found herself laughing too. She felt so much better that she didn't notice how Hojo's eyes hovered carefully on Shippo in her arms, or the way he flexed and stretched out the hand that the kitsune had grabbed. As they got closer to the village, the cub slowly went limp and heavy in her arms. Kagome looked down and blinked. Shippo had fallen asleep.

_It must have been a long day..._ she mused. _Sometimes he manages to fall asleep in my bike basket, but not when I'm carrying him..._

Kagome carefully pulled the tiny ball free from his fingers and tucked it into his vest pocket, giving it a little pat.

There was an intake of air behind her, "Higurashi—!"  
"Hojo I have a question to ask you," she said quietly, keeping her eyes on Shippo in case he woke up. ...or in case this was another one of the tricks he didn't play. ...or in case he changed one tiny bit; he'd never be just like this again.

"Higurashi," Hojo's voice was oddly intent, "you really shouldn't—"

"Hojo," she looked him square in the face, "earlier today, when you walked in on Inuyasha and me..." she bit her lip. _Ooooooh, I can't believe I'm really going to say this!_

"I woke him up; I'm sorry," he admitted, looking down at her chest as Shippo scrunched his face into her shoulder.

"Yeah..." she looked up into the branches, twisting her foot into the ground, "but did you ...see?"

Hojo blinked, "See what?"

"See me ...and Inuyasha..."

He frowned deeply. "Was there something to see?"

"No!" she nearly jumped to answer. Shippo made a noise and she quieted down.

Oh, it might have been the nearly-dead light but Hojo was so pale! Was he angry or still just scared by all her talk of demons? Hojo leaned the bow against his side and put a finger to his lip, "Do you mean that you were scratching him behind the ears?"

Kagome nodded tensely.

"Yeah, I saw that," he told her.

"You're not mad?

"Is there some reason I should be?"

"No!" she insisted again, relieved, but extremely confused.

"'Nuyasha took the last ramen..." Shippo murmured against her sleeve.

"Huh?" Kagome looked down.

"Well if that's all you wanted to ask me, Higurashi," Hojo answered brightly, "then I hope I was a help! We should get something to eat; I bet we've got an early start tomorrow!"

"Yeah..." she frowned, following him into Kaede's house.

.

.

.

People don't think about tough guys like that having allergies.

"Hiei wasn't happy about his secret getting out," said Kurama.

People get beat up for that sort of thing.

"In this case, the people who give other people hives. You'll be hearing from our lawyers."

Are you saying that he couldn't tell that it was strawberry?

Kurama raised an eyebrow, "How would he?"

There were little decals in the icing.

"Oh."


	13. Master of the Obvious

You have no case.

"No case for the food poisoning, perhaps," said Kurama, "but there's your interference with my contract, your attempt to sell photographs on the internet without my consent, and about twelve different kinds of harrassment."

. . .

"Well?" he asked.

. . .

"What do you have to say for yourself?" he demanded.

...Are we breaking up?

"What?!"

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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"Higurashi?"

"Yes, Hojo-kun?"

Hojo's brow was knitted in confusion or embarrassment. His voice dropped as he eased over to walk beside Kagome's bicycle. "Higurashi... I think maybe your friends don't like me."

Kagome jumped, hands tightening on her handlebars, and cast a quick look around the group. They'd slowed to give Kirara a rest from carrying two full-size humans; the firecat now dozed in Sango's arms. Inuyasha was up front with Shippo on one shoulder and a stormcloud on his face. Kagome caught him glaring back at Hojo he huffed and turned away.

Sango and Miroku were walking several feet behind. Well... Sango was walking, and Miroku was leaning heavily on his staff, out of breath from trying to keep up with Inuyasha for half the day. When Kagome noticed Sango looking at Hojo, she blushed and turned away.

Miroku kept his eyes right where they were, slit-narrow and hard as agates.

Kagome turned back to Hojo, "Don't be silly!" she said brightly, "They like you just fine!"

"I don't know..." he trailed off. "This morning before we left, I was helping Miss Sango..."

... ... ...

"Here's the firewood Lady Kaede asked us for! I hope it's dry enough." Hojo set the stack down near the small cooking pit.

"Alright, just leave it over there," she said, not looking up.

"Miss Sango?" he asked, leaning into her field of view.

"I'm fine!" she insisted, jabbing at the smoking twigs.

"I don't mean to pry, Miss Sango, but your face is all red..."

"I said I'm fine and that means I'm fine!"

... ... ...

Kagome shook her head. "That doesn't mean that Sango doesn't like you, Hojo," she told him. "You have to remember that Sango wasn't raised the way you and I were. She's not used to anyone but Shippo or me asking if she's alright." But then... Kagome's eyebrows inched up. Hojo made girls blush all the time. Maybe Sango... She certainly wouldn't be the first.

"Oh," Hojo pondered, rubbing one knuckle against his cheek. "Well, the last time we stopped for a break, there was something that happened with the priest, Miroku."

... ... ...

"Wow, that was a long way!" Hojo commented cheerfully as he sat down next to the monk, "You must be really tough to do all that distance on foot. If I tried to do that, I bet my feet would just fall off!"

Miroku opened his eyes, pulling his head up from where he'd leaned it against the tree, and mumbled something under his breath that almost sounded like, "And then what would you stuff in your mouth?"

"I'm sorry? I didn't quite hear that."

"It was nothing of importance, anyway," the monk got to his feet, wincing, "I'll just go check on Sango."

... ... ...

"And then he walked away."

"Miroku might have just been tired," Kagome suggested, but couldn't keep the red from rising on her face. It wasn't as if it wasn't _true_, but...

"I guess," Hojo frowned. "But then that Inuyasha guy..."

... ... ...

Inuyasha's snarling face was close enough to make Hojo's eyes cross. He stared ahead in confusion as the dog demon shouted with enough force to make his hair fly,_ **"I ... HATE ... YOU!!"**_

... ... ...

"Eheh!" Kagome scratched the back of her neck. "Yeah..."

"That Inuyasha's a strange one," Hojo mused, shaking his head, "I don't know how you manage, taking care of him all the time."

Kagome shrugged. "Well, once you get used to the way he picks his teeth with his claws, he's not so bad." Kagome smiled. Her sight strayed to the fuzzy set of ears atop the fuming demon up ahead. They seemed to twitch, as if he felt her eyes on them. "I find the shards and Inuyasha takes them back from whoever's got them. Thinks were kind of rough at first, but it's okay now."

Hojo's eyes darkened thoughtfully, "Rough when you started?"

"Uh huh. We fought a _lot_," she swished her arm.

"And you do this because..."

Inuyasha's ears twitched again. Shippo turned his head to the side.

"I was the one who broke the jewel in the first place," she explained. "I can't just leave the shards out where people could get hurt with them"

"That makes sense," he answered, "but in one piece or a million, it's still there. What's it matter? With all the time you spend out of school, you're risking your whole future over a mistake."

"Yeah..." Kagome stared at the ground for a few steps, "but it's not just my life, Hojo."

"What else of yours would it be?" he asked, secure in his innocent logic.

Kagome didn't look up. He just didn't know, did he? And that was fine. A guy in Tokyo in the modern age didn't need to know things like what a village looked like after Yura of the Hair, or the kind of paint a man could make with magic, ink and blood.

"Higurashi?"

"Don't worry about Inuyasha and Miroku, Hojo-kun," she told him. "They're just worried about having to protect another person who doesn't know how to fight."

Hojo held up the bow, "But I—"

"That's just if you have to, Hojo. Do you understand me?" she gripped his hand and pushed the bow away, looking him hard in the eye. "If there's a fight, you have to stay out of the way and let the rest of us handle it, and don't distract anyone." And at the shadow in his eyes, "That's the best way for you to help."

"Keh!" came a sharp voice, "that's the first smart thing I've heard you say all day, wench!"

"You were listening?!" she abruptly let go of Hojo's hand.

"Listening?" he stalked over, Shippo waving his arms to keep his balance as his ride's inertia shifted, "for fuck's sake, I'm not deaf, Kagome." He poked one claw into Hojo's collarbone, "Don't let me catch you shooting toothpicks into a battle with this piece of kindling," he sneered, "'cause if I've got to pull one out of my back, I'm going to use your wrist bones for tweezers!"

"Inuyasha!" Kagome asked, still horrified, "You heard all that stuff about Sango and—"

Shippo nodded, "Don't worry, Hojo," he hopped off of Inuyasha's shoulder, landing with his little feet on Hojo's hip and gave the suddenly ice-pale boy a hug, "_I_ still like you!" Kagome caught Shippo shoot Inuyasha a sneer as he muttered something and walked away.

"Um!" Hojo looked down at Shippo, who was serving him a triple helping of his heart-melting-little-fuzzy-creature smile. Kagome looked from the kitsune cub to the dog demon and back, shaking her head. Why hadn't she noticed before?

"Shippo," Kagome scolded gently, "quit kissing up!" she plucked him off of Hojo's sweater, not noticing the boy exhale in relief. "What did I tell you about provoking Inuyasha?"

"Don't?"

"Right!" she shook her head. "I'm sorry, Hojo, you were right about Inuyasha not liking you;" their last encounter with Kouga filled her mind, "he's like a little kid about some things."

Hojo looked unconvinced, but smiled anyway, reaching for her free hand, "Well, isn't that what they warn you about before you get a—"

"Let's get moving!" Inuyasha shouted from up front. "The sooner we get there, the fewer graves we have to dig!"

Shippo rolled his eyes and Kagome winced, but Hojo seemed to think it was a joke. She folded her arms as Inuyasha's gaze stayed fixed and dark when it fell on Hojo, but something unknotted in his eyes as he looked at something behind them.

"Can you work that thing?" he jerked a claw at Kagome's bike.

Hojo hesitated. Kagome closed her eyes for a second, hiding a smile at the thought.

"Yeah..." he trailed off. "I do."

"I won't tell anyone," she assured him, stifling a giggle. Sure, her bike wasn't _that_ girly, but there was no hiding that it was bubble-gum pink. Miroku hadn't been above stealing it, but the thought of the premiere hunk of B class riding around on—

"What's so funny?" Inuyasha demanded. Kagome made a straight face, but then realized that he was looking right at Hojo, who was covering his mouth.

"Nothing," he answered, still amused. "It's to give Miroku a rest, right?"

Kagome glanced behind them at Miroku and Sango. The monk's face was composed, but flushed, and Hojo had said that he'd been limping... She shook her head. Miroku never had been able to keep up with Inuyasha for more than a short chase.

"...but how is Kagome going to keep up?"

"Just get going!" Inuyasha snagged Kagome's wrist as he turned away, pulling just hard enough to make her skip a step. "And find another ride, runt," he snarled at the kitsune in Kagome's arms. "I'm not carrying you too."

"To where?" asked Hojo, leaning down to try to adjust the seat height as Kagome's mind went absolutely still. The first time Inuyasha had told her to ride on his back, she'd thought it was a little weird. Considering that she hadn't been carried piggy-back since early on in grade school... It wasn't exactly comfortable either. On long trips her arms ached from holding up her head and shoulders, and Inuyasha had yelled at her a few times for not keeping her feet out of his way or for wiggling around and throwing his balance off. After a few trips, though, he'd figured out just where to grip her legs so that his claws wouldn't dig in, and she'd gotten used to his gait, his posture, and the smell of sweat that should have bothered her but didn't.

_It's just a practical way for us to get around_, Kagome thought into the ground. If she let go of her bike to shoot an arrow, she'd end up in a ditch. And this way, she didn't have to shout over the wind when she needed to get his attention. There were times when she'd all-out left her bike behind either because they'd be going over ground that wouldn't take wheels or because he snarled about dragging the cumbersome thing. ...or because she wanted to put her arms around him, and no one would ever ask why.

Sure, Miroku had made a comment or two at the beginning, but Inuyasha usually complained his head off about lugging her around like a lump of lead. It certainly wasn't ...it wasn't how it _looked!_

"Come on!" Inuyasha was impatient. _He's not gloating?_ Kagome realized with a blink. Her thoughts collected quickly. If Inuyasha thought that he was about to let Hojo see him do something even a little intimate with her, his face and voice would be curled-in and sneering, but it sounded like he was simply eager to get back on the road.

Kagome felt a color that had little to do with embarrassment rise on her cheeks. She _only_ clamped her thighs down around his waist. It _only_ made her blush to heaven when her stupid skirt rode up. It was _only_ the most indecent thing she'd ever done in her entire life and _he_ didn't think it was worth it to smirk at the dumb normal guy a little? Oooooooh!

"What are _you_ fuming at, wench?" he demanded.

"You!" she stuttered in a rage, "You—"

"I'll just sit in this thing, okay?" Kagome snapped out of her thoughts to see Shippo beaming up at Hojo from the bicycle basket.

"Uh..."

"Oh let the brat do what he wants!" Inuyasha snarled over Shippo or Hojo or ...heck, did it matter at this point?

Hojo gulped visibly. He took a breath as if to steel himself and looked Shippo in the face. "Actually, I think that—"

_SMACK._

"PERVERT!"

"Sango, please!" Miroku's breath was still ragged from the run. He was doubled over, one hand on his staff, the other on the fresh lump on his head, "Be merciful ..." he panted, "... to a dying man!"

"On second thought, maybe I better go with them," Shippo rolled his eyes and hopped down.

"Couldn't keep your hands off her for _ten minutes?_" Inuyasha raved.

"I defend my innocence!" Miroku called back.

Inuyasha huffed a short laugh, "He'd better defend his head," he muttered as Sango raised hiraikotsu again. Kagome didn't see the rest of what happened, but heard Kirara mew as she changed into her larger form, Sango still speaking darkly. "Come on," he gave another tug on her arm, and crouched down just a little.

Kagome swallowed, willed herself not to look at Hojo and climbed on. Inuyasha took half a moment to settle her on his back and shifted his weight to run—

"Higurashi!"

Kagome lowered her head until she was almost touching Inuyasha's shoulder. _Just a second. Just give me a second..._

"Yes, Hojo?"

"Here," he wheeled up beside them and held something out to her. "Take these," he said.

"Oh..."

Inuyasha's head had turned, but she couldn't see where he was looking as she took the bow and quiver and slung them on. She was suddenly very aware that Sango and the others were absolutely quiet.

Hojo smiled, "I don't think I've had enough practice to be able to shoot anything from that bike, anyway!" he said. "Can you do it when you're like that?"

"Yeah..." Kagome trailed off. "You're not mad?"

His brow knit. "Why would I be mad? It sounds like it's very—"

"—practical," Inuyasha finished. His voice was hard and clean as stone slate, and just as blank.

Hojo nodded, "Shall we get started?"

Inuyasha muttered something that Kagome couldn't make out, and they were gone.

.

.

.

"All your talk of this 'Liam Smith Show' has left me a bit inspired." Kurama handed the narrator a small mail tube. "This is for you."

A present!

"I made it myself," he said with a hint of a smirk. "...with some help from my notary public."

What is it?

"It's a restraining order."


	14. Enlightenment

(Bows in turn to Lazy Dragon and merellia.)

"I guess I'll be seeing you." Kurama waved. "...from at least four hundred yards.

You don't really mean that.

"And what makes you say that?" he asked.

The way it's written.

"What?" he asked, showing a hint of frustration. "Is there anything in the wording that makes you think I'm at all reluctant? Does the fact that I'm giving you a restraining order instead of a fatal wound somehow encourage you?"

That and it's in crayon.

_What's happened to Kurama? See mediaminer or sphere of silence . net for the original version of the Kurama arc. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical. _

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Kirara's eyes were half-lidded and rolled back in her head as she stretched out on the ground, her neck, stomach, and all four little paws in the air. A persistent throb of a purr cooed from her throat.

The whelp was helping Kagome build the campfire while Sango settled down to polish hiraikotsu. He was yapping out some trite blather that managed to make her laugh. He reached out with one hand to help pile the twigs, to make a gesture, to take hold of her forearm and just barely run his thumb across her skin. ...and where the fuck had she gotten that flower?!

Hojo's other hand stayed where it was, scratch-scratching Kirara's stomach.

"Good kitty! That's a _good kitty!_"

"Traitor," Inuyasha growled softly.

The firecat flicked her eyes at him, and Inuyasha swore she cocked an eyebrow, but a second later she was still sprawled belly-up on the ground, oblivious.

He couldn't help but remember the chubby lump of fluff Kagome fussed over whenever she snuck back to her Tokyo. Inuyasha's eyes darkened on the blissful Kirara. Buyo hadn't seemed to like getting picked up by his forepaws...

Kirara's hind feet gave a twitch as Hojo tickled her. His thoughts dimmed. Was this how he'd looked to Kagome, rolled over and twitching? To distract from the unpleasant image, he stopped trying to tune out Hojo's yapping and realized what they just what they were laughing about.

Kagome was telling Hojo and Sango stories. About him. The time he'd passed out from the scent of blood in the hell-ink. The time he'd been shotputted out of Midoriko's cave. The time he'd followed her through the well and destroyed that shrieking clock...

She looked up, "Something wrong, Inuyasha?"

He snarled and stomped off into the woods.

And just when he'd been feeling better, too. Ten miles at top speed with the wind in his face, and even if he did have Kagome weighing him down, at least he hadn't had to crane his neck every two minutes to check where she was, and she didn't feel the need to babble at him or to shout when she felt a shard nearby. Nothing hammered the kinks from his mind like running did, nothing. A good earth scent kicking up from his feet, a steady rush of air to drown out his thoughts...

_First she's skittish, then she gets mad_. And it was because _he'd_ been watching! Hojo said something else. Inuyasha cast a glance over his shoulder just in time to see her smile. For him.

_Ten days no sits. Ten days no sits. Ten days no sits..._ Inuyasha focused on thought and it tasted so good! And the way to make it real was to keep Hojo alive, which was getting harder with each time the whelp reached for Kagome's hand. Stupid bitch, why didn't she slap him away? Inuyasha growled again, swatting a branch out of his path.

Inuyasha had carried a wounded Sango from the taijiya village to Midoriko's cave without all this fuss. As far as he was concerned, it was just one more thing that humans would do themselves if they weren't so fucking weak. So what if Kagome fit against him better than Sango did? _That Miroku!_ Inuyasha remembered the knowing smirk on the monk's face, _It's not like I get—get like THAT from lugging around her skinny little—! It's not like she—_ Inuyasha's ears started twitching helplessly. He growled and clapped his hands over them.

The fact that Hojo hadn't challenged him when he'd lifted Kagome onto his back hadn't felt nearly as good as it should have. Judging by Hojo's behavior around Kagome, it clearly wasn't because he had learned his place where she was concerned.

But then... Metal carriages that pulled themselves, all those spellbooks, those ridiculous clothes... Maybe Hojo just didn't think it was unusual. Maybe she had—

An immediate growl surged thickly from what felt like Inuyasha's whole body. _She'd better not have let anyone else do that for her!_ He swatted a branch. From far behind him, Kagome and Hojo laughed at the same time. The wood cracked, splintered, smashed to crud. _I'll kill him! I'll rip off both his legs, and beat his brains with them!_

Why was it still in his way?! _I'll dig out his eyes and shove his tongue down his throat! _Crack! _I'll stomp on his belly, and once his guts ooze out I'll leave him for the ants!_

By the time Inuyasha's mind cleared, his hands were smeared with splinters and dirt, and there was a cluster of thready roots clinging to his sleeve. He realized that every leaf had been smiling at him, that same eager, vapid smile.

"That tree was a living thing, Inuyasha."

"Stay the fuck out of this, Miroku!" he snarled, a good, deep snarl, like that of a wild dog warning a rival away.

"What else did he say?" Inuyasha demanded into the gathering dim. "There has to be something more!"

The monk only paused for a moment. "I've tried, Inuyasha," he assured him, sounding tired. "Mushin told me nothing more about naturals."

"He must have said something!"

Miroku smirked. "He said he wouldn't mind being reincarnated as one," he admitted.

"After one lifetime with you for an apprentice, he'd deserve it!" he rasped. "So forget about if he's a natural. Did exalted Mushin have anything to say about getting rid of ugly morons?"

Miroku said nothing, only clapped him on the shoulder and walked back toward the fire.

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"The girls went to go take a bath in the stream, and left me here to watch the fire," Hojo told them, smiling. "Miss Sango actually said she'd break both my wrists if I followed them. Very careful of her modesty, isn't she?"

"You'll have to understand," Shippo chimed in from the other side of the flames, "she's used to dealing with _these_ two."

_Break both his wrists..._ Miroku's thoughts darkened. Sango had never given _him_ such a vivid threat.

At least Hojo had turned his Unobtrusive Caresses and Wistful Grins with Eyes Downcast on Kagome this time. Natural advantage he might have, but Sango was clever enough to notice that she wasn't the focus of his attention, and that should prevent anything too troublesome.

There was a quiet, steady growl from behind his left shoulder.

...unless Inuyasha lost his mind and shredded them all into fertilizer, that was. The dog demon took a seat near Shippo, who sighed and tucked a little yellow ball out of snatching range. Miroku frowned. Why would Inuyasha sit near the kitsune, who would surely try to bait him, when— The monk realized very suddenly that Inuyasha had just placed himself directly between Hojo and the stream. His slitted eyes were hard and locked on the oblivious human, as if daring him to pass.

Miroku blanched. It was strange to see Inuyasha do that to anyone but him. He half-formed a comment, but then decided that he'd tempted clawed and slashy death enough for one night.

"—she was talking about what she thinks might happen when we find the that group of youkai," Hojo had been prattling on. "Are you guys going to stop them?" he asked.

The monk shrugged. "Demons possessing shards of the Shikon Jewel can do a lot of damage before they are killed, but even if this one is acting on its own power, someone must render it unable to do harm." He cast his eyes about for Kagome's pack, shaking his head as he realized that the girls must have taken it to their bath. _Such lack of consideration for their hungry companions..._ Miroku blinked as he realized that Hojo was still looking at him expectantly. "The matter is, of course, largely up to Kagome and Inuyasha," he added. "Kagome is the only one with the power to see and sense the shards, and, in his way, I suppose, Inuyasha is our leader."

Hojo started, "What?"

"Inuyasha," Miroku went on, wondering at the sudden shade in the boy's eyes, "he has been hunting shards with Kagome longer than any of the rest of us, and while it is Kagome who finds each shard, it is often Inuyasha who chooses how we will approach the shard. Why do you ask?"

"I..." Hojo trailed off. Miroku could almost hear the ungainly gears clunking in his skull, and his brow creased. Mushin had always said that it was a monk's duty to bring what enlightenment they could to simple souls – and Hojo was about as simple as they came – but he always followed it up with the story about the lonely landowner's daughter, and Miroku preferred to fulfill that particular duty under similar circumstances. "I thought..."

"That I was in charge?" the monk nodded. "Quite a few people make that mistake. It's completely understandable." The dog demon gave a huff.

"No..." Hojo swallowed hard, a blush barely visible "I thought he was a pet."

Inuyasha choked, "What?!"

"Well with the collar thing, and the ear-scratching thing..."

Miroku's eyebrows shot up. Ear-scratching thing?

"You thought Inuyasha was what?" Shippo exclaimed. Soon the little kitsune was rolling on the ground, both small arms folded around his belly, "Hehehehehhaaa!!"

"Stop laughing, runt!" Inuyasha leaned over to swipe at Shippo, but one well-timed convulsion shook him out of reach.

"Stop trying to hit me," Shippo managed between gasps. "If you start biting, Kagome might decide to muzzle you!"

"Grr!" he jabbed one hand at Hojo, "If I'm a pet, what do you guess he thought you were? A stuffed animal?"

"Stuffed! Why you—"

"Brat! Get off my head!"

Miroku looked away from the two tussling demons. "Actually, Hojo," he said as the fox boy scrambled away from the snarling Inuyasha, "I've always thought that Inuyasha was more of a companion and bodyguard to Kagome. There are many who would like nothing better than to possess or eliminate the maiden who sees the Shikon Jewels. Without Inuyasha's help, I doubt Kagome could have gathered even a fraction of what we now have in our care. ...though whether he'll try to take the jewel from her once it's completed remains to be seen."

"A bodyguard?" Hojo eyed where Shippo was gnawing viciously on Inuyasha's forearm.

"Do you think those puny teeth can hurt me, brat?" Inuyasha smirked as he grabbed Shippo and held him up by the scruff.

Tiny fox-fists beat at the air. "Size doesn't matter if you're smart like me!" Shippo twisted and clamped his fangs down on Inuyasha's finger. The dog demon yelped and dropped him.

Miroku followed the boy's gaze. "Don't be deceived," he assured him, "Inuyasha is not truly trying to harm Shippo."

"Can't catch me!"

_"I'll kill you!"_

"...oh..." Hojo answered, as Shippo scurried off into the lengthening shadows with Inuyasha swiping at his heels. The boy still looked a bit bewildered, and Miroku felt something turn over in his mind... At the time, he'd been distracted by the feeling that his ribs were about to puncture into his lungs, and of course, by lovely Sango's smooth little waist, but why hadn't Hojo protested when Inuyasha had told Kagome to ride on his back? Inuyasha protested most vehemently that he didn't enjoy it –And how a man, even one not wholly human, could do anything but delight in the feeling of a woman's hips pressed tight against him, even if it was on the wrong side, was an absolute mystery— it certainly looked improper.

And if there was one thing Hojo had shown himself to care about, it was propriety. Yet he'd been silent. _Did he think that Inuyasha obeys Kagome even as Kirara does Sango?_ he shook his head. The way Hojo had acted toward the two youkai was too different, not to mention the boy's inexplicable aversion to Shippo. Hojo spoke to the little firecat in rhymes and half-formed endearments which were probably an insult to her intelligence, not that she seemed to mind. To Inuyasha, the boy acted much as he did with Miroku himself – with a courteous kind of ?" Hojo was asking.

Miroku nodded. Something...

The monk pulled in a quiet breath. How could he have missed it? Merciful Buddha, Hojo was dense!

"Inuyasha has known Kagome the longest of any of us," Miroku finally answered.

Hojo nodded absently, "Yeah, Higurashi was telling me about..." he shook his head. "But he's always doing things for her, carrying her bag, and that time in Lady Kaede's house."

One of Miroku's eyebrows shot up. He pushed the fact away for later. "You do things for Kagome as well. Didn't you bring me that flower earlier?"

Hojo gave a short laugh and shook his head. "Yeah but that's because I—" Miroku watched Hojo's lopsided smile freeze in place, and suppressed a tremor of unmonkly glee as a tiny fleck of his frothing stupidity fall away.

"Oh. ..._Oh!_" Hojo jumped to his feet "Oh _no!_"

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"That Kuwabara!" seethed Kurama, "I should have known they'd never issue a fifteen year-old a notary public's certificate!"

My dear fox-bandit. Never underestimate—

"Gullibility. Yeah, yeah..."


	15. Every Damn Time

(Bows to merellia.)

You won't get a lawyer today, and work was cancelled. Why don't you stay here and help me do the disclaimers?

Kurama gave a tiny sigh, "Very well. The fan-author does not contest Rumiko Takahashi's legal and creative claims to Inuyasha and its characters or settings."

Thanks.

"And she has nether bought nor rented Youko Kurama, also called Suichi Minamino, or any other personality belonging to Yoshihiro Togashi."

. . .

His eyes narrowed. "Say it or I will strangle you with my rose whip."

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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For someone who did so much griping about things that took time away from their shard hunting, Inuyasha always managed to sniff out a campsite near a workable place to bathe. The stream was shallow, but a girl could kneel down and get a good scrub. Kagome paused. How long had it been since Inuyasha had taken a bath?

"Why do you bother, you stupid girl? It doesn't even make you stink less!"

"SIT!"

Splash!

Oh yeah... Kagome giggled. She'd forgotten that one. Telling stories to Hojo had been so much fun! She hadn't realized how tiring it got to hold it all back. Sure, Yuka and the girls lapped up her complaints about some two-timing jerk they'd never met, but they'd never understand how a guy who slept more soundly in a tree than in a bed or whose big act of graciousness was to make sure she got to take a bath could ever be endearing. At least now, she could brag about her friends to Hojo.  
Kagome ducked down in the water and fumbled for the soap. She'd asked her mom for the unscented kind after that organic stuff had left Inuyasha sneezing. Maybe this-

"Kagome-chan?" Sango's voice came cautiously. "Who is Hojo to you?"

Kagome looked up for a minute, and then a tiny smile formed on her blank face. She hadn't expected to find herself back in homeroom so soon. _I guess I was right about why she was blushing before!_

She couldn't resist. "Do you like him?" Kagome asked, putting a hand to her mouth.

A flustered blush fought through the chill to the taijiya's cheeks. "No! I... well..." Kagome held back a giggle.

But should she tell Sango the truth? If she really did have an eye for Hojo...

Kagome shook her head. Sango could rip out all her toenails and pummel her to pulp with hiraikotsu and it would still beat the last time a girl had asked her what she was to a boy. Kagome shivered, just barely. Lashed to a tree and enchanted into silence while... A fight with Sango couldn't come close.

"You have to understand," she said carefully, "my grandfather keeps telling people that I'm missing school because I'm sick. My friends knew that Hojo liked me, and they thought going out with him would cheer me up, so they sort of arranged it." Her smile faded. "Hojo used to bring me things like stress tea and therapeutic sandals." It was sweet of him. The taijiya watched but didn't answer.

"It felt good being treated like a regular girl," from the corner of her eye, she saw Sango nodding, "and-" that thrill in her stomach, "-I like the way he looks at me, but-" if she'd never heard of the Shikon no Tama, "-mostly, when I'd go out with him, all I could think about was-" _Inuyasha_ "-you guys, and finding the rest of the shards." Something colder than the water was swimming in her stomach.

"I don't want to disappoint him, I guess," Kagome said at last. "That's the only way I can think of to say it."

"So you're not..." she struggled with the words, "You're not in love with Hojo, then?"

"No," she said, trying to put back her smile. It half worked. She leaned back and ducked the her head underwater to rinse her hair. The current flowed through her ears, thick and mumbling like words she couldn't catch. She sucked in a breath and pulled her face under.

Time...

She could hear Sango moving upcurrent. On top of everything else, Hojo was a modern guy, and modern guys weren't as easily threatened by strong women. If Hojo never made it back... Could she really keep from being jealous if her would-be boyfriend started bringing Sango presents and poems? Kagome stifled a huff. That Hojo! He'd never written _her_ poetry!

A red hakama rose in her mind. Definitely. She surfaced.

"You know," she said, slicking back her hair, "just because Hojo will want to go home to Tokyo is no reason not to make friends."

Sango blinked, and started to smile, "Yes... It is nice to talk to a man without all the grabbing."

"And the cursing!"

"The leering!"

"And he's not trying to peek on us!"

Sango giggled.

"He's a real charmer, isn't he?" Kagome finished scrubbing her scalp. She sobered. "And I think the boys are done sulking by now."

Sango nodded, "We should get back," she said sourly. "If what happened last time is any way to judge, the priest is probably beating him to death."

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.

"I don't believe it!"

"There there..."

Hojo sank back down, burying his face in his hands. "I am _so stupid._"

Miroku patted him on the back. "My master used to say that admitting one's shortcomings is the first step to enlightenment."

Hojo's words come muffled from between his hands. "'Hojo, you're not mad, are you? No, why would I be mad?' Higurashi probably thinks I'm an _idiot!_"

"She seems to like you anyway."

"But..!" Hojo stammered, lowering his hands to stare helplessly into space, "He's- _Inuyasha?_"

The monk nodded gravely. "It appears unlikely, I'll admit..."

"He likes her?"

Miroku fought the now-familiar urge to thwack Hojo on the head. After all, Inuyasha himself had yet to understand his feelings regarding Kagome. If better minds - if not by much - had failed, why penalize poor Hojo? He hid a smile.

"I am not certain that 'like' is the word I would choose to describe it," Miroku answered at last. "They do tend to get on each other's nerves. But though I doubt he would admit it, there is no living person for whom Inuyasha cares more."

"And she..?"

Another nod.

"But she can't! I mean... She's _smart_ and Inuyasha-" The boy's face contorted as his hands searched the dim air. Miroku felt less and less like smiling.

A demon! An unclean hanyou mongrel, a violent foul-mouthed beast, a shrinking child! A placeless orphan with no parents, no home and no future.

"-he's _mean_ to her!" Hojo finished, looking up.

The monk fell silent, staring into those wide-open, shadowed eyes.

...of all things, Hojo was concerned with the way Inuyasha treated Kagome. Miroku was used to it. Kagome was probably used to it. Hojo worried.

"If you fear that Hojo will supplant you in Kagome's affections, Inuyasha, then perhaps you should simply act more kindly toward the girl."

Miroku blinked. The moron had actually made a point. Merciful Buddha, it was unnerving. Mushin's voice rose in his thoughts, _"Women are faithless things, boy. No matter how much time and skill you put into one, she'll drop you like the bad habit you are once some guileless nitwit starts making eyes. Good looks, sweet words, the occasional bribe... Kindness always defeats them in long run."_

Something else shivered unpleasantly through his mind, something about why Sango would bother with someone if she didn't think he was worth her time. Miroku closed his eyes. So much for running out of things upon which to meditate...

"Why would a girl like _that_," Hojo shook his head, eyes fixed on nothing, "let someone treat her that way? He's so out of control that I thought he was- He's always yelling and bossing her..." his gaze shot up. "You know," he said indignantly, "I'm starting to think that 'bitch' really is an insult!"

Miroku paused, "That's ...good," he said at last.

"I can't believe I missed it..."

_I can_, Miroku thought dully.

"Is there anything else?" Hojo demanded. "Did I overlook anyone _else_ who's in love with Higurashi?"

"No," Miroku assured him. "Well... Except for Kouga..."

"Who's Kouga?!"

The monk mentally smacked himself in the head, "Another time, perhaps," he waved cringingly.

Fortunately, Hojo had gone back to ranting, and barely seemed to even hear him. "I kept saying that I wasn't mad," he said. "She was trying to tell me the whole time, and... She dove on top of him during the blast, and she looked after his burns, and she was holding his head in her lap..."

Kagome... What?!

"When was this?"

Hojo blinked and seemed to come back to himself, "Sorry... I'm sorry," he managed. "I just... I don't know what to do!" He rubbed his temple. "Maybe things will seem clearer in the morning, you know?"

Miroku nodded. Face up or face down?

"Maybe," he agreed. "We won't have long before the others get back, anyway."

Hojo looked up. "What do you mean?"

The monk sighed. Every damn time. "When Shippo provokes Inuyasha in this manner, he tends to double back and-"

The familiar sound of women shouting cracked through the trees.

"_Sit!Sit!SIT!_"

Splash! And some high-pitched laughing.

"Shippo, you little shit!"

"Kagomeeeee?"

And Sango, "_Both_ of you, _go!_"

"Ow!"

"_Ow!_ That _hurt_, you bitch!"

Miroku shook his head. He'd long since learned never to let Sango get a clear shot when there were rocks within reach.

"It was supposed to!"

"Come here, runt!"

"Aa! Kagome!"

The kitsune's protests and muffled yelps grew steadily louder, accompanied by a persistent stomping. A few minutes later, a very wet Inuyasha stepped into the firelight with Shippo's tail in one fist.

"Put me down!"

"No," Inuyasha's voice was dark and dull, and his breathing just a little too hard.

"Inuyasha," Miroku rolled his eyes. "You have never once managed to teach Shippo his lesson by such means. What makes you think that it would work now?"

Inuyasha only growled.

He heard Hojo pull in a deep breath. "Inuyasha," he said crisply. "I need to talk to you."

The dog demon twisted his neck and he sliced through the air at the human boy, staring him down as if he were something vile that needed crushing. Even Shippo went still.

"...but we can do it ...later?" Hojo's voice got just a little shrill.

Miroku blinked. So the twit did have two thoughts to rub together.

Inuyasha gave a tight little smirk and, dropping Shippo with a squeak, jumped to a thick limb about twenty feet off the ground. Hojo followed his movement with an impressed kind of dismay.

"I suggest that we follow Inuyasha's example and pretend to be asleep by the time Kagome and Sango get back."

"Hm?"

"It is not likely that the girls will be feeling much more friendly than Inuyasha himself, and I have found that Sango especially likes to-"

"No, I mean," Hojo's confusion thickened and he gestured up at the seething dog demon, "in a _tree?_"

"Keh! Got a problem with that, mud-hugger?"

"No!"

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.

.

I didn't really rent Kurama.

"Thank you," he said.

Want to play Scrabble?

"No."


	16. Seeing

Hold still.

"What?" Kurama asked in confusion as he fell backwards with a splash.

Next time, don't wiggle.

"What is this?" he demanded, squeaking one hand against the ceramic tile.

A hot tub. A reviewer suggested that it might help us get along better. Is it working?

"People are only supposed to wear bathing suits in these!"

You mean more than one person stays in it at a time? That's gross!

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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Inuyasha flexed his fingers, flicking away the snatch of orange hairs caught in his claws the last time Shippo had tried to zip in front of him. He growled and made another swipe. A rat-legged kitsune cub couldn't outrun an inuhanyou flat out, but the brat kept ducking and changing direction. His nose caught water and moist earth ahead – Shippo was leading him toward the stream. Inuyasha broke concentration to sniff carefully for the chemical-floral odor of Kagome's soap before taking another swipe at the bobbing tail in front of him.

That puff of snot! Laughing when that other puff of snot had called him an animal!

Couldn't _blame_ little Hojo, though, now could he? Not after the things he'd seen. After all, if a girl made him heel with a word, and let him whine and fawn at her feet, who wouldn't think he was her tame dog? Hojo had probably wondered why he bothered to speak or walk upright. He'd probably wondered who'd had to housebreak him.

Inuyasha jerked out of his thoughts as Shippo dodged left, giggling. "Get tangled in your leash, dog boy?"

"Hold still and say that, brat!"

"Down, boy! _Down!_"

Inuyasha gave a snarl and leapt—

—out of the underbrush—

—past the treeline—

—and landed up to his wrists and ankles in running water. He barely had time to register the scent of human skin before the screaming started. His eyes fell on the stony streambed. Yup, Sango was going to get some good ones in...

"Inuyasha..!"

Inuyasha ears flicked back in preparation for the fall. He looked up.

And felt his insides turn to snow.

Kagome was on her knees in the stream with her back to the current. The spray kicked up like a halo while eddies cast white arcs around her waist, blurring her outline and making her skin gleam. And even with both arms cast across her chest, no one had to tell him that the water was cold.

The flush was growing on her skin the longer she looked at him, and there was an angry light in her eyes like nothing he'd ever—

_"Sit!Sit!SIT!!"_

Yup: cold. And just deep enough to soak him all over before his face hit the rocks at the bottom. He came back up snorting water out of his nose. He fell for it _every fucking_ time. "Shippo, you little shit!"

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.

So much for a peaceful night away from the village. After what he'd just seen, Inuyasha was sure that he wanted to— he knew that he— okay, he had no clue what to make of _...anything_, but the last thing he wanted to do was talk to that sniveling whiner. Of course, the part where he'd gotten to make him snivel and whine hadn't been so bad.

Miroku's let's-pretend-to-be-asleep plan had worked ...sort of. The monk had propped himself against a trunk and gone dead to the world, but Hojo spent so much time fumbling with that borrowed blanket that he was more than obviously awake when Kagome and Sango stormed back in.

"Higurashi!" the boy's voice was quiet but urgent. "I have something I have to ask you."

Kagome's answer was a bit clipped as she unrolled her sleeping blanket with a flick. "Yes, Hojo?" she asked, glaring up at the dog demon. Looked like getting dunked in the stream wasn't punishment enough...

"Kagome!" the kitsune cub bounced up to her feet. "Inuyasha grabbed my by my _tail!_" Inuyasha's scowl deepened. With that cute-little-me act, Kagome was going to forget all about who'd tricked him into the water in the first place.

"Inuyasha!"

He blinked. The hiss had come not from the miko, who was busy between Hojo and Shippo, but from Sango. "What do _you_ want? Another rock?" he looked back to Kagome. Both the kitsune and the scrappy turd of a human were facing away from him, but he could see the warm indulgence on her face. Now was it directed toward the runt or the other runt?

"It may not be my concern what bargains you make with Kagome," insisted Sango, "but I had better not find out that you've broken your word where Shippo is concerned!"

Bargains? Shippo? Huh?

"What are you talking about?"

"Back in the villiage—"

"Higurashi, I really have to ask you something," Sango and Inuyasha both turned around as the whelp started bleating again, "Who is Inuyasha?" he asked tentatively.

The dog demon smirked at the look Kagome shot Hojo. The supposedly-sleeping monk cocked an eyebrow. By now, everyone knew that Hojo was a moron, but this was a stupid question even for him.

"I'm right here, asshole," he snarled from the tree.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Just ignore him, Hojo. Now what do you mean? I already told you how I met Inuyasha."

"Yeah, but are you two, umm..." he trailed off.

In the dim light from the campfire, Hojo probably couldn't make out the redness rising on Kagome's cheeks. _Stupid bitch,_ thought Inuyasha, _when are you going to wise up and see that he ain't worth blushing over?_

"Hey, is he sleeping with you?"

Miroku jerked halfway to his feet, "What was that?"

_That's fucking **it!**_

Kagome's eyes went big, "Hojo-kun—!" her voice shrilled. Inuyasha dropped to the ground, landing next to Sango as she clapped both hands over her mouth.

"Hojo, you have no right to ask me that!" Kagome told him as Inuyasha snarled at the same time Inuyasha snarled, "You better shut the fuck up!"

"Wait a minute," Miroku looked from Inuyasha to Kagome and back, "you mean they _are?_ –ow!" he ducked as Sango gave his head a smack.

"What's going on?" Shippo piped from one side.

"But—" Hojo pointed.

Inuyasha growled, following Hojo's line of vision. And blinked at the sight of the kitsune cub nesting down at the foot of Kagome's sleeping bag.

"Oh," he heard the blush in the girl's voice. "Yes, Hojo, Shippo does that."

"Higurashi!" Hojo gasped stupidly. "Did you think that I meant—"

"Good night!" she squeaked.

"You know I'd never—"

"She said good night, loser."

Kagome looked up as she slid into her sleeping bag. "Inuyasha, be nice."

The dog demon snorted. Shippo laughed. "You might as well tell him to grow wings, Kagome!"

"Shut up, runt!" he shouted, jumping back into the tree as the kitsune snuggled up by Kagome's waist.

Inuyasha went back to watching Hojo fold his blanket in half. The runt tossed a few times, looking for a comfortable way to prop his head on his arms, but at least he didn't ask for a pillow. All in all, Hojo gave Inuyasha no further reason to pounce down from his perch and remove any part of his squishy pink body from the rest of him. Damn.

He took a breath as the minutes passed. This was better. Inuyasha cast one more look at Hojo, and then let his gaze linger on the girl and the kitsune. He allowed his mind to drift into her even breathing, and the perfect stillness of the cub. He looked like he felt so safe; did he even know..? It must have been six months since the nightmares finally trickled to a stop. Now he just lay his head against Kagome's knees and fell right to sleep.

That Manten may have been a, ugly weakling and a fool, but he certainly managed to make an impression. Inuyasha peeled his lip away from his teeth, then quieted. No way would he get to sleep on memories like those. Both of those bastards were dead, anyway.

He closed his eyes and tried to force his mind onto better things. The choices were limited, most of his good memories had to do with battles or finding jewel shards, fighting and winning: the time he'd sliced out Sesshoumaru's arm and then told him off, mastering the wind scar, beating Hojo into fertilizer – okay, so some of these had yet to happen...

His early years were scrappy, mostly of his mother being sad, but there was the odd day when it hadn't felt bad to be alone, and there were months of peace with another woman in another life. Inuyasha let his eyes stay on Kagome and Shippo until they finally slid shut.

.

.

.

He'd been halfway though the dream about Sango in the uniform, and while it wasn't his number-one favorite, waking up hadn't been on his list of things to do about it. Miroku flicked his eyes toward the light thud that had deprived him of Sango's very welcome attentions.

The fire was almost gone. Even once his eyes adjusted, he couldn't see more than shades of black against the dull red seeping from the embers. Someone was sitting up near ... yes, that would be Kagome's bedroll. But the sound hadn't come from there, it had— Miroku cast his eyes about and caught another outline: Inuyasha was crouched on the ground beneath his tree, eyes gleaming like two lost coals.

"Who— " the first figure breathed, "Is someone there?"

_Hojo?_ Miroku's eyes blinked in the dark, falling uselessly to the dark lump that was probably Kagome. Yet another of Mushin's lessons came to mind. _"Have your limits, boy; women appreciate that. Feeling her up when she's asleep may seem like a good idea, but if she wakes in the middle your ass is hers, and not in the fun way. Now, if you're looking for that sort of thing..."_

_I didn't think he had it in him... _thought Miroku,_ Ah well, I'll see if Inuyasha desires my help in discouraging the boy._ Another glance to the slumbering Kagome and his thoughts darkened. _On second thought, I will help whether he wishes it or not._

Inuyasha answered the boy with a deep growl. Miroku blinked. Black as midnight in a witch's soul, and the half-human son of a Demon Lord was snarling in the dark.

Miroku gave an unmonkly smirk. Inuyasha might chide him for his emphasis on "technique," and "finessing," people, but the dog demon did the same thing. This whole display was as perfectly groomed to intimidate as Miroku's was to charm. Inuyasha had probably learned by trial and error instead of through years of dedicated study, but still, it was _damn_ good. If the boy had half the sense of a garden slug, he'd be scared shitless.

"Is that you, Inuyasha?" the boy's voice was quiet but steady. Damn.

The growl broke. "Leave him alone," he breathed. Miroku's brow furrowed.

"I..."

"Just because you've got rocks in your head instead of eyes don't mean I do."

"I was just going to move him."

_Shippo..._

Another growl, and, "Leave him."

Miroku hid a smile. _That Inuyasha is surely one scary bastard when he chooses. A shame it's lost on such a mind._

Kagome made a small sound, and for a moment, Miroku couldn't see Inuyasha's eyes.

"Go back to sleep..." his rumbled words just barely seeped across the camp. _So he does know how to keep his voice down..._ A pause, "I mean _you_, moron," he hissed. Miroku raised his head before he realized Inuyasha was still talking to Hojo. "Go back to sleep before I make sure you don't wake up!"

There was the sound of strange shoes in the dust, and Hojo's voice came from a bit further away. "Well... We are both awake, Inuyasha, and I do still need to talk to you."  
Another growl as Inuyasha seemed to crouch down beside Kagome.

Miroku could hear the boy swallow, and then, "I want to apologize."

The growl cut abruptly. Miroku's jaw dropped.

"Wha—" Inuyasha's head moved and he was surely looking at Kagome. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet, "What do you mean?"

"I have never been more ashamed of myself," Hojo confessed. "Now that I look back on it, I can't believe I thought you were a pet—"__

Miroku felt his eyes would burst from trying to see the look on Inuyasha's face.

"—I mean you walk and talk and help with things. I hope this doesn't mean I'm prejudiced against youkai. I swear to you I will try to fix this flaw in my character... I hope you don't think less of me, Inuyasha."

He had to hold back a laugh at this. _Somehow, I doubt that's possible._

"I should have known better. When Higurashi told me you were a demon, I thought she meant—" a pause, as if the boy were shaking his head. "I'll pay more attention. An apparition's just another kind of person. I see that now."

Miroku felt the words sink in his ears. He let his head sink back, just a little, against the rock. All Kagome's stories, and this was what brought it home: _How different that world must be..._ Had Kagome been like this when she'd first come? Seeing things for the first time, like a new child?

"Get some sleep," Inuyasha's voice blackened. "We'll be there tomorrow."

.

.

.

"I wish I could change into some dry clothes," muttered Kurama.

There's always the—

"No."

But you looked so—

"No."

Do you know how many bribes died to bring you that Sephiroth costume?


	17. Details

"I cannot believe I'm doing this," Kurama muttered to himself.

Do you want me to teach you or not?

"Very well," he said. "Proceed."

I will need a guinea pig.

"I suppose I could practice on that insane cab drive—"

. . .

"You mean you need an actual guinea pig, don't you?"

. . .

"I'm no longer sure I want to know how you managed to steal my boxers."

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

He didn't go back to the tree right away. Maybe it was that Hojo's evil rustlings had interrupted his rest that made the whole thing seem only half-real. Even at his best, the dog demon wasn't known for subtlety, but a fully awake Inuyasha would have given the human one more push toward his place and then huffed himself back to sleep. A fully awake Inuyasha would have saved his trouble for a real threat. A fully awake Inuyasha would not have kept crouched by Kagome's side and stared down a wisp of a boy who wasn't even looking, hadn't been looking since their conversation.

Even with bits of his mind still swimming in the dark, he'd been able to tell by the way Hojo cast his eyes about that the human couldn't see, and – he felt the smirk all the way back to his throat – by the twitch and tremble in his face, he'd thought Inuyasha couldn't see him. Inuyasha hadn't figured Hojo clever enough to hide his thoughts, but the dimness was a revelation. He looked away before he answered. He shifted his posture. He bit his lip with blunt human teeth.

He was lying. Maybe not right that minute, but he was hiding something, and he was damn good at it.

The apology? Inuyasha's thoughts soured in his mouth. Hojo's fear had tasted so much better than his words.

_He's just like the rest of them. He didn't mean it._ Inuyasha held back a snarl. No sense spooking him up again when he'd already backed off. _It doesn't bother him that he said those things about me. He's just another fucking moron human._ Inuyasha poured his bitter thoughts into the dark. Hojo had practically recited that shaky little speech. He'd probably only apologized because he thought he was supposed to. Maybe his idiot grandmother had made him promise to do that too.

But then...

_"I swear to you I will try to fix this flaw in my character..."_

But then, who else had ever thought they were supposed to stop themselves from thinking of the hanyou as a lower breed of life? Part of Inuyasha's mind went silent. If he'd been more awake, the idea probably would have disturbed him.

There was a murmuring sound by his knee, and Shippo turned over to bury his face against Kagome's blanket.

_"I was just going to move him."_ Look away. Shift. Bite lip.

So that was it. But why the kitsune and not the dog? Why the stuffed animal and not the flea-digging stray? Some quiet part of his mind – the part that was usually drowned out by the clamor of waking thoughts – admitted that if someone was going to get mistaken for Kagome's beloved pet, it was ten times more likely to be coddled little Shippo than him.

Inuyasha's ears twitched as Hojo flopped and fumbled with his blanket. The boy's eyes, dilated beyond reason, rolled hopelessly over the camp, probably trying to settle on Kagome's outline, which the dog demon was now blocking. Inuyasha shook his head. The coals had dimmed significantly since the graceless goon had scuttled over to Kagome's bedding. Soon they'd shed too little light for anyone but Kirara and maybe Shippo.

Inuyasha grimaced. Trying to jump onto a branch that he couldn't see usually sucked. He hated sleeping on the ground... He cast his eyes around the campsite, calling the layout from his memory. Miroku was propped up against a trunk several feet to the right of Sango, who was leaning against Kirara...

He looked over again to see that Hojo's face was slack and his breathing level. How could someone so ripe for the shredding sleep so soundly in a wood full of demons? –Especially since at least one them knew what he looked like and wanted him dead for other than dietary reasons.

Inuyasha shook his head. The rest of the ground was covered with rocks, and trying to clear a space for himself in the dark would never work. Pretty much the only smooth place to stretch out that wasn't already taken was right next to...

Inuyasha swallowed hard. It was nothing to get worked up about; it was just some shuteye. He looked back down at Kagome. She'd seemed every bit as soft and peaceful one night so long ago, and in a heartbeat she'd snapped up and slugged him in the jaw. Although he had the sudden feeling that he was far less likely than Miroku to accidentically grab something he shouldn't in his sleep. ( ...though both the "accidental" and the "sleep" aspects were open to suspicion.) he had no desire to repeat the experience. ...and then he'd shouted that she hadn't looked like her after all...

He'd never get to sleep on thoughts like those.

But Kagome was probably still mad at him for catching her bathing. ...when she was on her knees in the current rushing in his ears, and above the water she'd smelled so nice. Usually a bath made her reek of that fake-flower soap for hours but—

Inuyasha clapped his hands over his ears to stop their twitching. If he fell asleep right here, and she woke up before he did, she'd sit him into the underworld. Inuyasha looked back the the fire. By now, it was little better than a point of reference, but... He squinted up into the trees. Maybe...

That blackish-black thing against the blackish-gray thing looked like it might be a branch. Inuyasha settled Tetsusaiga in his belt, bunched his muscles, and tried for it.

He managed not to yelp as his head hit the limb. It was more of a squeak really. The whole tree throbbed and shook like mad, but he kicked his legs around the branch in time to keep from falling off.

Inuyasha settled himself against the trunk, rubbing the top of his head with one hand. So much for a good night outside on the road.

.

.

.

"Look, monk, there ain't no sordid details to tell, so quit asking!"

"Hojo mentioned something about Lady Kaede's house, after you were injured in the fireblast."

"Hojo's an idiot!" he shouted.

That got them a glare from Kagome and Sango both at once. Hojo, busy lifting the frontmost bicycle wheel over a rock, remained oblivious.

Miroku's voice dropped. "Idiots don't have that much imagination," he pointed out.

The break in the woods had brought a suggestion from Kagome that they slip down from Kirara and approach the villiage on foot. Hojo had agreed. Inuyasha had grumbled. Miroku had been grateful at first, but it was steep going and his feet still weren't rested up from the day before. The firecat was now resting uneasily in Kagome's basket. The girl had lashed her pack to the seat of her traveling machine – and by the way it was swiveling, Miroku suspected it was not designed for such loads – which she and Hojo were pulling uphill by its handgrips as Sango walked nearby with Shippo.

Miroku had hung back a bit, in part because Sango had changed back into her delicious tight centipede-skin armor, but more to pry some answers out of a certain surly dog demon. His expression saddened, "It gives me such sorrow, Inuyasha," he shook his head, "that after all this time working side by side, you have so little trust in me as to hold back—"

"Nothing fucking happened!" he insisted. "Not that I would tell you if anything did. And if that pounded sack of slug-for-brains—"

"Hm... Good one," murmured Miroku.

"—fucking moron of a human told you that me and Kagome were up to," Inuyasha stuck, "up to anything _you'd_ want to be up to—"

"Actually, he said something about scratching your ears."

Inuyasha's feet froze mid-step. His posture stiffened, his eyes locked, his ears flattened back, and his left hand clamped down on the monk's throat.

_That must be it, _Miroku was barely able to squeak for help, _now if I can just get the rest of the story from him..._ his pulse began to crescendo in his ears. _...before I die..._

"Sit!"

"Glak!"

"Oof!" he found himself pinned half-in half-out of a man-shaped indentation in the path. A number of sharp rocks were digging heavily into his back and neck, but he was breathing. "Thank you, Kagome-sama!" Miroku called back weakly. He pulled in a breath and blinked heavily. "That spell of hers is rather painful," he remarked.

"Thanks for lettin' me know," Inuyasha snarled back as he pushed himself upright.

Miroku looked up as Kagome muttered something under her breath that sounded oddly like, _"Boys!"_ Sango was nodding in sober agreement. Miroku's thoughts soured.

"So it's true then?" he asked quietly. "Kagome—"

"No!"

"No?" Miroku paused. "So was it Hojo and not Kagome who was scratching your ears?"

The dog demon choked. "What? No! Of course it was her! I mean—" he broke off at the priest's knowing grin. ...or at least it was knowing now. Inuyasha growled.

_That must have been when the boy walked in. _Miroku realized,_ No wonder Inuyasha was so ill-tempered the rest of the night._ His knowing grin took on a hint of a smirk.

"I see," Miroku rubbed his chin, "Then what happened?"

"Fuck you."

"She refused you, you mean?" he 'tsk'ed and shook his head, "Well, some women will say no and hear no more about it, but if you want to try to change her mind, there are a few things you could—"

"Shut up, Miroku."

"There is no shame in asking for advice from a more knowledgeable—"

"Shut up, Miroku!"

.

.

.

"This doesn't look so bad, Kagome," Shippo observed. "Usually demons with jewel shards do more damage than this."

As much as she disliked a wasted trip, Sango had to agree. There were what looked like a few smashed awnings, and one crushed roof up ahead, but the townspeople seemed no more than a little nervous as they went about their daily tasks, and that might have been accounted for by the demons, weapons, and foreign dress that had just walked through their square.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Inuyasha move a bit closer to Kagome, voice a question. She shook her head and Sango could just make out, "...nothing. Maybe too far..."

Several yards away, two young boys pointed and whispered before and old woman chased them off.

"The priestess did say that many of the attacks were on outlying holdings," Miroku pointed out.

Inuyasha snorted, "At least we didn't waste much more time on the trip than we would if we had to dig a hundred graves."

There was a sound. Sango turned to see Hojo covering a laugh. She frowned. _Hojo doesn't seem the type to laugh at death..._ The boy smiled almost knowingly at Inuyasha. Sango's mind cleared. _He... He thought it was a joke?_

"So what do we do now?" the young man asked eagerly. "How do we find the demons that Lady Kaede was talking about?"

"What you do now is stay the fuck out of the way of anyone who can be useful," Inuyasha snarled.

"Got it!" he agreed cheerfully. Sango sighed. At least Inuyasha's sour mood wasn't contagious.

"Usually, Hojo," Kagome said softly, "Sango and Miroku walk around and ask some questions. That's why she's in her armor today. The people who live around here are more likely to talk to a demon exterminator or a priest than—"

"—some stupid dog," Inuyasha muttered.

Kagome shot him a scolding look, "—than the rest of us."

Sango started eying the crowd for anyone who seemed likely to know where to find the villiage headman, when she noticed Miroku slip on a mask of elegant virtue and stride off toward a group of young women. Her thoughts darkened so that she barely caught the rest of Inuyasha and Kagome's instructions to Hojo:

"Actually, _usually_ they don't," Inuyasha sniped. "If we just keep walking around, the local creeps will come to us, especially if they've already got one stuck in somewhere. Once a demon's got a shard of the Shikon Jewel, most of 'em can't wait to snatch more. We shouldn't even be in this fucking villiage."

Judging by some of the stares they were getting...

"If you don't lower your voice, Inuyasha," Sango pointed out, "we'll get kicked out of here before we even get close to the shard."

"Besides," Kagome rolled her eyes, "what if these demons don't have any jewel shards? There are plenty that just pass us by."

"If they don't care then why should we?"

"Wait..." Hojo held up a hand. "You mean you wouldn't—"

Sango saw Inuyasha's eyes narrow as Kagome put a hand on Hojo's upper arm. "Yes he would," she assured him.

"Yes I would what?" Inuyasha demanded.

Hojo looked at him, and then back to Kagome. "He would," she said again. "Inuyasha talks tough, but he's really a good guy deep down."

"I am not!"

Sango started to smile at the indignant dog demon, but her eyes fell on Hojo instead. His face seemed go very still at Kagome's last words. She lifted up a hand. "Is something wrong?"

The young man looked at her, opening his mouth to answer.

"Yes you are, you help people all the time!"

"Because if I don't you'll floor me with that stupid incantation!" he stuck a thumb under Kaede's beads and tugged.

"Hm!" Kagome folded her arms and turned her back, "So how come you still say mean things to me, and try to stop me from going home?" Sango saw Hojo blink hard. "You don't just do what I tell you because of the spell. You like helping people and we all know it."

"Miss Sango," Hojo turned to her, eyes very big, "Does he really try to—"

"No I don't!" Inuyasha stuck his chin in the air, "You know as well as I do that I'd let this whole place burn and rot if it meant getting another jewel shard."

Nearby, a woman gasped and hurried away, shooing a small child. Several people stopped in their tracks. Sango stared straight ahead for just a moment. This wasn't going to be an easy day, was it? She blinked. Wait a minute... Where had Hojo got off to?

"Inuyasha," Sango said in her firmest voice, "If we do not do something to calm the villagers, they we may find them asking me to exterminate you."

Suddenly Miroku was back at her elbow, looking less than pleased. "Inuyasha," he began, "some of the villagers have become upset." He shook his head, "Inuyasha, you must control yourself or we may end up fending for ourselves in the woods again tonight."

The dog demon gave a snarl, "I can control my temper just fine!" he jabbed one clawed finger at the monk. "And it's not like you know all about control – you ran right off to the first pretty face you saw!"

"Not all of us are repulsed by beauty, Inuyasha," the monk answered loftily.

Sango blinked. Was that his excuse?

"Just because I don't spend all my time scouting for some girl to bear me a child doesn't mean I'm repulsed!"

"Um..?" she turned around to see Hojo trying to get her attention.

"You wound me, Inuyasha," answered Miroku. "I spend nowhere near all my time looking for—oof!"

Sango had elbowed him in the ribs. Both she and Kagome gave Inuaysha a look that told him he'd be next.

"Can I say something?" Hojo spoke up.

"Of course you can, Hojo," said Kagome, still giving Inuyasha the evil eye.

"Go right ahead," echoed Sango.

"Okay... That's Mrs. Mura," he gestured with one hand. "She says that her son-in-law the woodcutter used to spot serpent youkai sunning on the rocks," he pointed, "back that way. And Miss Hanako tells me that the recent attacks have mostly come from that same direction." Hojo scratched the back of his neck. "So I guess maybe they still keep a lair or something over that way."

A dry leaf blew across the ground.

"They just told you this?" asked Miroku.

Hojo shrugged. "Well... I felt as if I should do something useful," he looked up almost hopefully, "and I am a good listener..."

Neither Inuyasha nor Miroku even pretended to thank Hojo for his help. In fact, the stormclouds on their faces turned three shades blacker each. Sango couldn't help but smile.

.

.

.

"Alright," said Kurama. "I brought you the rodent, I put it in a little cage with a wheel, and I fed it a bunch of carrots. How else must I appease you before you'll show me how you did that steal maneuver?"

The person has to be really distracted.

"I can see how that would be advantageous, but shouldn't you be telling me more about..." Kurama's eyes went wide as one hand flew to his waistband.

I like the little roses.

"Give those back!"


	18. Pressure

CHAPTER 19 IS NOW UP ON MEDIAMINER.

"Well," said Kurama. "I think I should get back and chastise Kuwabara for passing himself off as a notary public, and giving me that false restraining order."

Okay if I come watch?

There was a pause.

. . ?

"No," Kurama answered coldly.

You had to think about it.

"I was only wondering at the intensity of your stupidity."

But you had to think about it.

"Please tell me what I have done to encourage you."

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

"What the fuck did I tell you? _Get out of the way!_"

"But I—"

"Hojo-san! Do what he says!"

"Yeah, unless you want to _–shit!_"

Inuyasha raised Tetsusaiga and shoved the serpent's lunge aside. Any more time coddling precious Hojo, and... The dog demon snarled as four drops of a caustic yellow goo splattered and smoked onto his wrists.

One good thing about snake demons: No feet meant no claws.

One bad thing about snake demons: Being cold-blooded meant that they nested in groups to hold the heat. And they had at least a trio of Shikon shards between the five of them. And they were venomous. And they stank. And they were ugly and mean and angry as hell.

"Inuyasha, I promise I would if there were anywhere to get out of the way _to!_"

And currently surrounding them.

Miroku had been busily conning the local innkeeper into giving them a place to stay for the night, or at least to leave Kagome's surplus of equipment, when a rancid stink, like rotting flesh on fire, had seeped toward Inuyasha's nose, followed quickly by women's shrill and shouting voices. He'd sprinted toward the sound just in time to see something gray and green and as thick around as he was lunge open-mawed for the glint of glass at Kagome's throat.

He didn't even remember drawing Tetsusaiga. The damn worm was quick, though, changing direction and changing plans in the same move. With barely a nicked scale from the demon blade, the thing swished right past Kagome, clamped its jaws around one chubby human brat and slid back into the woods faster than anything with no feet had a right to.

Inuyasha had opened his mouth to give Kagome a lungful about being careless and stupid so that he had to save her skinny hide, when out of the collective human shouting he'd picked out:

"Don't worry, Mrs. Mura. _We'll_ bring back your grandson!"

"We'll _what?_"

The next thing Inuyasha knew, Hojo was seated behind Sango on a transformed Kirara and he was running along beside them because Kagome had said there was a shard, and because he didn't have the time to convince the stupid little dumpling that he was as good as snake shit if he didn't stay behind.

Inuyasha snarled and hefted his sword at a reeking, black-scaled youkai studded with poison-yellow. At least no one had griped when Kagome had snatched an extra bow from one of the villiage men. She'd even been calling an apology when Inuyasha had dragged her away after Kirara. Stupid girl...

An arrow, charged and crackling with power, zoomed cleanly past a black-scaled head.

Too bad her aim still sucked.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted, throwing a look over his shoulder, "which of these overgrown inchworms has the shards?"

"The gray one!" Kagome called back, fumbling for another arrow as Shippo clung to her free shoulder. "The black one! And the one with the purple stripes. I think— I think they swallowed them!"

Inuyasha growled. If serpent youkai were this rank without being ripped open, then getting the shards from them was going to be fun and a fucking half. He cast his eyes about. There had to be an advantage somewhere. The first demon had left its fuming trail a mile wide across the rocks, straight to the others. At first, Inuyasha thought this place was a nest: The rocks were high and flat, good for catching the sun's heat – and for striking downward at an attacking dog demon – but the scent of snake was just too faint, and there was no sign of regurgitated bones. Inuyasha shook his head. Serpent youkai weren't smart enough to set a trap!

Inuyasha heaved Tetsusaiga and leaped at the nearest scaly neck but the damn thing dodged again. He flexed his left hand, claws itching. "Fuck! Aren't vermin like this supposed to be _slow?_"

"Inuyasha!" Miroku shouted as he pushed back another strike with his staff, "I don't see the boy anywhere. Can you catch scent of the child?"

The mention of it made his nose wrinkle anew. "With this reek, monk, I can't even smell _you!_"

"There!" even in the din, Hojo sounded horrified. Inuyasha followed his line of sight to a sickening lump in the wide gray reptile body.

_Oh fuck._

"It moved!" Hojo pointed again. "I think it moved, I..." he seemed to sink back into the rocks.

_If there weren't so many of them zooming around like dragonflies, I might be able to find the wind scar._

An arrow clashed against the scales and rebounded, catching Inuyasha's sleeve.

"Sorry!" shouted Hojo.

"Quit trying to help!" Inuyasha raved.

"It swallowed the little boy!"

_"I know!"_ Inuyasha swung Tetsusaiga in a wide arc, which the serpent easily dodged. Fuck.

There was a wet crunching noise off the right. Inuyasha turned just in time to see Sango pull hiraikotsu out of a limp snake demon's crushed skull. Had that been one of the— Green scales tainted with blue. Four demons left, with three shards between them.

Another arrow, one of Kagome's this time, whizzed past and missed again, striking the edge of the black-scaled serpent's jaw. It was enough. With a blast of purifying energy, half the demon's head was gone. Inuyasha swore and leaped clear as it shuddered and convulsed against the rocks. From the edge of his view, he saw that Hojo's eyes had gone as big as eggs.

A third serpent reared back and hissed loudly at its fallen nestmate. Inuyasha smirked.

"You should have been paying attention!" he slashed upward with Tetsusaiga, splitting the snake demon nearly from its midsection to its neck. "Geeah!" Inuyasha gagged. Of all the putrid foulness... He felt one knee hit the rock.

_"Fox fire!"_ and a flare from the left. Inuyasha pulled his eyes up to see Shippo holding off the smallest snake demon. He squinted. There seemed to be a dullness, a sluggish jerking to its movements, and...

"Miroku!" he shouted, pointing.

But Kagome was already on it, "That one! That one by Shippo! It doesn't have a shard; you can use the air rip!"

"No! Kagome, too close!"

So much for that. He stopped his nose as best he could and hauled himself back to his feet.

"What is it doing?" Sango shouted over the din.

"Who fucking cares?" the stench was really getting to his head, "Shut up and kill it!" Inuyasha looked up to catch Hojo knock an arrow as the gray serpent reared back. A twang and a screech and the arrow glanced away. A flash from Kagome's eyes...

Inuaysha gritted his teeth. _Ten days no sits. Ten days no sits..._ Inuyasha shifted his grip on the sword as the snake youkai hissed loudly. Hojo drew back again and this time the arrow caught it dead in the mouth, piercing through to the back of the neck.

The demon gave a twitch. Then it shivered. Then it reared back its heavy tail and lashed, knocking Hojo onto his back.

The human scrambled and just barely escaped a fang in the guy. _"Why isn't it dead?"_ his voice was a choked shriek.

"Hojo, it's got a shard," Kagome had grabbed both his arms and strained to drag him out harm's reach. "It'll take more than it would to stop a normal demon!"

_"Normal demon?!"_

Her voice went shrill, "Hojo, please, just get out of the way!" Thick salt pierced the rock haze.

Inuyasha's mind crystallized as Kagome pushed the human to his feet and shoved him toward the rocks.

She was _crying?_

Why would she...

Why...

Hojo.

"Inuyasha!" Sango shouted from Kirara as she sent hiraikotsu down on Shippo's serpent, pinning its midsection while Miroku landed a blow with his staff.

The stench was overpowering, but Inuyasha could just see the catch in the wind, the place where the serpent demon's youki met the outer air. He raised Tetsusaiga. To destroy the demon, and leave whatever was left of that human child intact, the wind scar was the best—

Inuyasha set his eyes ahead. "Shippo!" he called as the gray demon wheeled and turned toward the kitsune taking cover by the rocks. "Shippo get out of the way! If I use the wind scar now, it'll hit you!"

Shippo seemed to try to inch left and right at the same time, eyes turning up as the snake bore down on him. Stupid runt! He had time; he'd make it if he'd just run. Inuyasha's left hand flexed. And the person closest to the kitsune was—

"Hojo, get Shippo out of the way!"

The human's mouth opened, but, "I—"

"Just duck in and grab him; I've got you! The snake won't get a chance to strike!"

He stammered, "I don't think—"

"Quit gaping and do it!"

The human's dull eyes went firm. His fingers steadied and tightened on the bow.

"No."

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.

.

"Even taking my job into account," said Kurama, "this has been one of the strangest and most disturbing sequences of my existence."

Me too.

"No. We are _not_ bonding here!"


	19. Flesh and Blood

(Bows to nekobaka.)

"Hello," Kurama spoke into his cellphone. "Yes. Do you have any cab drivers who are not legally insane? Okay, any who are on low-sugar diets? Great. I'll be right here."

Going back so soon?

"Yes. It would never work: I'm a convicted felon fox demon remanifested into the body of a human youth, and you're annoying and insane."

Not legally.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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There was a sound of shouting several yards off to the left. Inuyasha had managed to get to his feet and was calling out at Shippo—no, at Hojo. He wanted him to—

The kitsune cub was all but carved into the rocks behind him, with the last and strongest of the serpent youkai closing in, to afraid to move. Inuyasha was poised to bring down the wind scar, and the only other person close enough to help...

"No," Hojo told him. Shippo didn't even seem to hear.

_This is my fault._

"What the fuck do you mean, 'no'? Just do it!"

_I should have said something, warned them not to trust Hojo around Shippo. This is my doing._

Miroku felt all the blood drain from his face. His hands grew still on his staff for half a heartbeat before the dying demon at his feet gave a flinch. He brought the weapon down one more time, looking up again to see Hojo worry his lip between his teeth.

Miroku couldn't help a smirk. Hojo might have a high spook-resistance to an Inuyasha growling in the dark, but an Inuyasha streaked with blood and anger and brandishing a fully-transformed Tetsusaiga was having more of an effect. Hojo's moment of steadiness passed, and he all but quailed back from him. Miroku had a fleeting thought that had something to do with dogs and packs and Hojo backing down...

And now that he'd backed down, he was going to cover his ass.

_"Listen close, boy,"_ the old monk's voice echoed over the din in his mind, _"sometimes a lie may be the expedient path. When you want to pull a whopper on someone, here's what not to do..."_

"I... I have another idea," the boy managed. _Last-Beat Stall_, Miroku realized. His fingers rustled on his bow, _The Betraying Hands._ His feet shifted on the rock, _Lost Man's Dance._

Hojo's thumb slipped under the thong at his neck. "Let me!" he cried. "The amulet protected me from you. Kagome and I were fine. Let me try to—"

_"Just because a man is a guileless natural with women doesn't mean you can trust him. Deep down, they're flesh and blood and meanness like the rest of us. Make them desperate, make them afraid, and you make them mortal."_

"Miroku and Sango got fried!" Inuyasha hissed back.__

The human bit his lip. "Oh I... forgot."

_"Of course, being able to lie doesn't make anyone good at it."_

"It doesn't protect humans, just you! You'll roast Shippo and that human kid."

"I—"

"Die, you useless worm!" roared the dog demon.

For a second, Miroku thought that Inuyasha had turned Tetsusaiga on Hojo, but Shippo let out a yelp as the serpent youkai dodged Inuyasha's strike, and in the same motion, made a grab for the fox demon. Shippo barely jumped clear, losing a thick chunk of fur as the snake struck. His small eyes scrambled across the rock face as the demon recoiled. Shippo still had no way to get away from it, or from the wind scar.

"Kagome!" Miroku cried. "An arrow! It doesn't have to hit; just give Shippo an opening so he can run." The kitsune looked up. At least there was that: a chance was no good unless the child was ready to take it.

Kagome's answer was little more than a sound in the back of her throat as she raised the bow.

At this range it was predictable: the arrow hit the ground beside the serpent's thick tail, scalding it enough to divert its attention. Shippo became a red-brown blur, and Inuyasha's smirk returned.

"**_Tetsusaiga!_**" Miroku braced as the force of the demon blade cracked the air and left it bleeding. The serpent demon's flesh flaked and tore, leaving behind a clinking jewel shard, and a huddled lump that almost looked like—

"He moved!" Hojo leaped forward. "I think he can breathe! Does anyone have any water, he's covered in..." The monk looked away from Hojo's babble. Sango had managed a few cuts, and he was close to sure she'd caught a tail blow across the stomach, but she and Kirara seemed otherwise unharmed. Shippo was holding tightly to Kagome with all four limbs, her bow on the rocks by her knee. Miroku couldn't see her face through the shade of bangs, but she was whispering swaying back and forth stroking the back of his head with one hand.

Inuyasha was breathing hard as he resheathed Tetsusaiga. Miroku followed the dog demon's eyes to Shippo and the human girl.

"Kagome, I did everything _wrong!_ Father told me never to do that. Father told me not to be like the rabbit with the eyes and I was I got so scared I couldn't move!"

Miroku felt his breath leave. For all that Shippo let the girls coddle him, he _never_ acted like this.

A loud gasp brought his attention back to the dead serpent youkai. Despite several minutes in a snake demon's gut, the little boy couldn't have been too hurt, because he began to wail loudly the minute he opened his eyes. Hojo laughed and patted the kid on the back. Miroku closed his eyes and made a calming gesture. _Obviously_, he thought, _I am not the only one relieved that Mrs. Mura's grandson seems to be all right, but..._ he remembered the shrillness of Hojo's voice.

And Shippo, staring.

_It is selfish of me_, but Miroku couldn't make himself believe it. _I am more glad for Shippo._

"Runt! Brat! Moron!" Inuyasha fumed. Miroku looked up, expecting to have to prevent Hojo's clawed demise – though at the moment he couldn't quite remember why.

"Shippo! Brat, I'm talking to you," one leap and Inuyasha was crouched beside Kagome, one tight hand an inch from the cub's tail. "Why didn't you run when I told you to, you—hey!"

Without a word, Kagome had twisted so that she was facing the other way.

"Don't turn your back on me, bitch! Someone has to have words with the stupid little—!"

"Sit." Kagome's voice was soft. Inuyasha's was not.

"_Bitch!_ It's for his own good!"

"I think the boy is alright, Houshi-sama," he turned to see Sango calling to him from Hojo's side, "but we should take him home now, he's very frightened."

Miroku nodded his answer, and began to turn away. He stalled, watching from the corner of his eye as Hojo pointed to something bright on the ground and began to reach for it. Sango stopped him with a hand on his wrist, shaking her head.

"Kagome," the monk said calmly. The girl rose to her feet, shifting her hold on Shippo as she walked toward him. Inuyasha, he noticed, was still trying to get up. "The shards," he went on, "perhaps now would be a good time to gather—" he cut off as a rattled young kitsune was pushed into his arms.

"Just hold him for a minute."

Some part of the quiet in her voice made him very nervous as she turned on her heel and bore down on Hojo.

Shippo wiped at his eyes with one hand craning his neck as if to follow her.

"Higurashi!" Hojo's voice was bright, "Miss Sango says the Mrs. Mura's grandson is okay! Can we—"

Kagome drew back her hand and slapped him full in the face.

.

.

.

"Kagome-chan?" Sango protested. Kagome didn't care.

"You scared me!" she shouted, "I told you to stay out of the way, but you jumped right in."

"I'm sorry, Higurashi," Hojo looked up from where he was holding the villiage child upright, "I _had_ to. Mrs. Mura's grandson—"

"You could have gotten killed! You could have gotten Shippo killed! I would have had to go back and tell your mother you were dead!" And after talking with him, teaching him, all that work to keep him safe. "I told you to stay out of the way. Inuyasha told you to stay out of the way. _Why didn't you listen?_"

There was a scrambling sound behind them. Inuyasha had finally made it to his feet. Other than that, though, he didn't make a sound

Hojo's face was stricken. Good! "But I meant to—"

"I don't care what fancy idea you had!" Trying to play the hero! Shippo could have _died._ "We don't know how this stupid thing works yet!" she shoved him hard, so that the fire amulet dug what she hoped was painfully into his collarbone. Her eyes fell on the bow she'd lent him back in Kaede's villiage. "I'm taking this back," she said simply, picking it up. "Sometimes giving people weapons makes them _stupid!_"

Kagome turned to move away, but then caught sight of hiraikotsu slung across Sango's back. Giving the bow a quick heft, she slammed it down on Hojo's head.

"Oof!"

It didn't feel nearly as good as she'd hoped it would. A tear leaked from the modern boy's eye. "Higurashi?" Hojo's voice reminded her oddly of a deflating parade balloon. Kagome turned away, blinking back the moisture in her eyes. A shard. This demon had had a shard, hadn't it? Three altogether. Time to stop worrying about stupid boys and get ready to leave.

Before five minutes had passed, Sango had set Mrs. Mura's grandson on Kirara's back, and the serpent youkai's shards clinked with the others in the vial around Kagome's flushed neck. There was little argument against walking. Inuyasha seemed sullenly distant, and Kagome didn't think it wise to ask him for a ride, and there was no way that Kirara could carry her, Sango, the baby and Hojo.

Oooooh, Hojo! How dare he scare her like that? And after she'd told him not to go crazy and jump into trouble! She'd even roped Inuyasha into helping, and this was what he did! At least when Inuyasha took stupid, reckless, boneheaded risks, he had the experience to back them up, not to mention that overgrown eyetooth at his belt. Hojo hadn't even known about the amulet's powers until Inuyasha had triggered them, and his eagerness to use it could have gotten Shippo killed!

It had been so nice to think that there was one boy in the sengoku or any era who wasn't a moron. Some illusions were hard-lost. And here Hojo was, relying on two days' practice with a bow, and some souped-up piece of glass! Even Inuyasha was smarter than that! Even Miroku had more restraint! Even Shippo, who couldn't fight much, knew how to stay out of harm's way.

...or at least he usually did. Kagome stole a look at Inuyasha. Had he realized? He was the only other one who'd seen for himself.

Of the five snake demons, three had swallowed shards of the Shikon jewel. The two that relied on their own powers and nothing more had moved like snakes: Graceful, quick on the strike, and slow otherwise. The three with shards had moved like shadows in a bonfire, like they only touched the ground out of habit.

They moved, in other words, just like Hiten.

Her eyes fell back to Shippo, perched on Kirara behind the little boy. Did Shippo even know why he'd been so scared? Had she been the only one to notice?

Before she could answer the thought, Hojo stepped right into her line of vision.

"Higurashi-san?" he asked with big, sad eyes, "Can we talk for a minute?"

Kagome looked at the ground and kept walking, "About what?"

"About the little guy..." at her confused look, his voice dropped until he was almost whispering. "Shippo," he said.

_The little kid I take care of, the one who almost got eaten while you were trying to be brave?_

"What about him?" she asked.

"Well..." he trailed, "Miss Sango said that you basically just found him out on the road."

Kagome smiled a bit at the memory. Inuyasha with both hands stuck under a statue. Ah! "More like he found us, really," she said, feeling a little better.

The trouble on Hojo's face thickened, "Did he?" he said carefully, then seemed to come back to himself. "Were you looking for someone?"

Kagome frowned, "No," she said. "Inuyasha and I were looking for the shards. We didn't know about Naraku yet."

"But I mean... no one was..." he struggled in the blankness of her answer, "...missing?"

Kagome blinked, "Like who?"

"Anyone, maybe a kid. From Kaede's villiage?"

Her frown deepened. "No..."

"Well that's something, I guess," Hojo looked a bit relieved. "Miss Sango tells me that he hasn't grown much since then."

"I guess not," Kagome said. "He's a youkai, though. Maybe kitsune children don't grow as fast as human ones."__

Hojo gave a little shrug, "I guess that could be it... But you have been feeding him a lot, right?"

"He eats his share," Kagome smiled. Did he ever!

"And he sure seems to..." Hojo's hands searched the air, "make demands on your time," he said. "I'm always seeing him ask you to pick him up or pay him attention."

"Yeah," Kagome gave a confused nod, "he does that."

Hojo stopped walking. Kagome, by necessity, did as well.

"And that doesn't _remind_ you of anything?" he asked, almost pleadingly.

"Like what?" she demanded. "Why are you so interested in Shippo?"

"Higurashi, I think you may be in danger."  
_That _got her attention. "What do you mean, in danger?" she asked.

"I mean that—"

Hojo cut off as a beaded hand clapped down on his shoulder.

"If you would forgive me, Kagome," Miroku said calmly, "I think Hojo and I need to have a talk."

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I hope everyone picked up the moral of this story arc.

"Moral?" asked Kurama. "You forged a change in my contract – badly – stole three pairs of my underwear, and got one of my coworkers sent to intensive care."

How's he doing?

"He should be well enough to come after your blood any day now."

The moral is that when silver – gold adversity showers your parade, put on your best brownie and walk up to the next door to respect yourself and others.

Kurama's brow creased.

No, wait. That's Girl Scouts.


	20. Another Rock

As I was saying, I hope everyone has picked up on the moral of this story arc.

"As I was saying," said Kurama, "'What moral?' If anything, your actions have been the epitome of amoral."

But not immoral.

"My cab should be here soon. Please don't follow me."

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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"About what?" Hojo asked brightly.

For some reason, the innocence of the question made him angry. Miroku took a breath, holding a calming prayer in his mind.

"About what happened back there, Hojo," he answered in a level tone.

"He was stupid, that's what happened," muttered Kagome.

Miroku looked him right in those calf-brown eyes, "I think it may have been more than that."

"Kagome!" Miroku looked up to see Sango calling. "Kagome, would you help me with-ugh!"

The monk craned his neck, but couldn't quite make out what had happened. Kirara, though did not look pleased.

"It's okay, I got him, Sango," Shippo chirped. "I think I -eww."

More crying, probably from Mrs. Mura's grandson. With a glare that would have made Inuyasha blink, he gave Hojo a motion to stay put and followed Kagome back toward Sango. The taijiya was urging Kirara to hold still, but the poor firecat didn't want any of it. Miroku nodded in sympathy. Even with so few people to carry, she was probably hungry and footsore, and knew that there was rest to be had back at the human settlement. Sango was standing with her body toward Kirara, steadying the three-year-old with both hands, a smooth, delicious curve from the backs of her legs to her waist and shoulders and the side of her bright face. Kagome stepped up beside her to get a closer look at the child.

"What did-" Miroku saw her wince. "Oh... poor thing." Kagome soothed. "We should just take him home," she said softly, and then, "You'll feel better when you're back with your mom and dad, won't you, little guy?" The child sniffled and kept wailing.

Now what did the boy have to cry about? Miroku wondered, giving the bandage on his left arm a scratch. True, he'd nearly been used as a chaser by a giant snake with a sliver of the Shikon in its gut, but he was on his way home, and being tended by two solidly lovely young girls. Surely even a small child could appreciate beauty, even if he knew nothing of their more... womanly charms.

"He has been through a lot, Shippo," Sango murmured, stepping in beside Kagome

By mercy itself, she looked good in that armor. From this angle, with her body turned away from him, he could see the sleek lines of her back, all the way down to - well, all the way down. Just about the only thing he couldn't see was...

And with the two of them distracted...

"Kagome," Shippo whined, "he was sitting right in _front_ of me-"

Yup, there went ol' lefty. That thing had a mind of its own, really. In a second, he'd be reeling from a new bump on his head, but for the half-second before that he'd have a handful of-

What the...?

"-and he threw up all over Sango's chest!" Shippo finished his protest.

"Eww," murmured Miroku, staring at his hand.

"PERVERT!"

With her arms busy supporting the three-year old, Sango settled for jabbing her heel in his stomach.

"Sango, please!" he choked, "Hasn't the child seen enough violence today?" Miroku wiped his hand on a rock and tried not to gag. It was moments like these that made him rethink his wish to father an heir. Nor for very long, of course; he had a duty to his family line, after all.

Kagome folded her arms, "Like you're such a great person to decide what children shouldn't see!" she seethed. Miroku composed himself, inwardly relieved that at least Inuyasha wasn't around. His scoldings tended to get physical. At least the dog demon had picked an apt time to scout ahead...

Now, how to exit this?

"If you will pardon me, ladies," he said with as much dignity as he could salvage. "I believe I have something to get back to..."  
He could practically feel the glares boring into the back of his head, but still he turned and moved back toward Hojo.

"What happened back there?" the boy asked.

"Nothing of importance."

"You weren't fresh with Miss Sango again, were you?" Hojo asked darkly.

It was times like this that made Miroku envy Inuyasha's ability to growl. It was so expressive, and right now, it would be so satisfying. "I am a monk," he replied. "And we have something to discuss. Let's hang back a bit," Miroku's eyes lifted to where Sango had coaxed Kirara into walking again. "As much as I regret not speaking sooner," the boy's face creased in confusion. Miroku found himself strangely without pity, "I wish to be certain of what I saw before I alarm the others." He gave Hojo a minute to absorb this as the firecat padded further and further ahead. "I mean to ask you about your plan to kill the serpent youkai yourself. Even for an on-the-spot lie, it's not very good.."

"Lie?" the boy flustered. "Miroku, I know it was stupid of me to think that I could have stopped that monster, but I really-"

"You haven't taken your eyes off Shippo since you arrived, have you?" the monk asked coldly. "Inuyasha you mistook for a plaything, but Shippo frightens you..."

"Frightens? No, I-"

"Boy," Miroku's gaze bored into the Hojo's skull, "I guarantee that both Kagome and Inuyasha both believed your little story. If they had not, Inuyasha would have left you dead in the serpents' den, and Kagome would have let him."

"No! I mean-I didn't! I..." Hojo's face went gray. His voice was very, very small. "...she wouldn't."

Miroku fixed on the boy's eyes, smirking inwardly. Inuyasha wasn't the only one who could stare people down.

"Kagome likes you very much," he said simply, "but the care she devotes to Shippo is surely akin to what she gives her own young brother. Tell me," he asked, "what would you expect of Kagome if it had been Souta?"

"I-" the boy's face went grayer, and he looked off into the brush. His smooth hands began to shake.

Miroku looked away as well. "I'm not going to tell her."

Hojo looked up. The monk would not have thought it, given Hojo's decided dearth of wit, but he actually looked suspicious of him.

"Perhaps she would not have let Inuyasha kill you," the monk admitted, "perhaps Kagome would have done no more than send you away." Miroku stung the boy's eyes again. This was the important part, and it wouldn't help if the stupid fuck weren't paying attention. "The result would be the same. You would be dead, and on my conscience."

Hojo gulped. "It's not-" he rasped, then swallowed again. "It's not like that."

"So you think that you could survive here without our aid - which we give you because Kagome insists upon it?" Miroku asked. "Well some do prefer to bet on the underdog, but you would be a long shot even for a man like me." He glared, "I will not allow you to harm Shippo."

"I..."

"Why?" the monk demanded.

"I think he's a changeling."

A what?

"Go on," Miroku kept his voice dark.

Hojo bit his lower lip, scratching violently at the back of his head, "I was talking with Sango about it, back at Lady Kaede's... I know it sounds stupid! My grandmother thought they were made-up too, useless old stories, but she met one, right before she decided to move to Japan. I always used to ask how she could tell a changeling from a real baby, and she always said she just knew, and I saw the little guy, and I _know._ He is one, Miroku."

As much as it galled him to ask, "And what is a changeling, Hojo?"

"I guess I'm using the wrong word," Hojo fretted. "A changeling is a kind of a demon that disguises itself as a human child; sometimes it even kidnaps one so that it can take its place. No matter how much it eats, it never grows, so the people it's duping keep feeding it more. No matter how much it's soothed, it always cries and begs attention. My grandmother said that the women in her - I guess her village - just kept taking care of it until they were worn away." There was an odd sincerity in the boy's eyes, "Miroku, it's no accident that we all thought Higurashi was sick. She's so tired all the time..."

_Hojo believes that Shippo is an adult demon disguised as a baby?_ he paused. In all honesty, he'd half-seriously suspected as much himself, and he had heard of some kitsune who could live off of a human's strength, but that left telltale signs, which Kagome didn't show. The monk's throat didn't seem to work. There was no true malice in that child. And in all the battles the kitsune had seen, not the least of which the one today... Surely if Shippo had more power than he pretended to, he would have used it by now. Whatever else, he could not make himself believe that Shippo would ever hurt Kagome.

"I don't think that the reason Kagome is tired," Miroku's formed one word at a time, "has much to do with Shippo."

Hojo shook his head, "No. I'm know it's him. I get this chill in my heart. Higurashi should send him away before it's too late. Or you do it. Could you do it, Miroku?" he pleaded. "I know you don't think much of me, but I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I-"  
For a moment, Miroku thought that the boy was trying to figure out what to say next. "Go on," he urged. Hojo swallowed hard, raised a hand, and pointed. Miroku pulled in a breath and turned. How could he have let something sneak up behind them? The nest of serpent youkai had probably driven off most of the other large demons in their range, but the echoes of their death would bring scavengers. How could he have allowed himself to become so bewitched by Sango and infuriated by Hojo that he'd drop his guard? How could he have forgotten-

Inuyasha?

For all the racket that he usually brought with him, this time the dog demon hadn't made a sound. There was a quiet snarl and a rush of air, and then four thick welts of blood seeped out onto the shoulder of Hojo's rumpled and sweat-marked shirt.

The monk looked first at the rigid boy, then to the claws digging into his shoulder.

"You were listening?"

Inuyasha gave a shove, and Hojo tumbled to the ground. He turned quickly, rising up to a sitting position, "Inuyasha," the boy held up both hands, "I hope you don't think that-"

The dog demon made a slashing motion an inch from Hojo's neck. "Get out of my sight," he hissed.

Miroku's heart went cold.

"Get out of my fucking sight!"

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.

.

"Inuyasha?"

"Take him back to the others, priest," he seethed. "Get him out of my sight before I break a promise I don't want to break."

"Inuyasha," Hojo protested, "I only want to-"

"Shut up!" he roared, grabbing Hojo by the collar. "Don't you know by now that I protect Kagome? The only reason you're still alive is because she wants you to stay that way. The _only one!_ " He threw him to the ground again. "Go back with the others. If you so much as breathe at Shippo, there won't be enough of you left in one place for the flies to find."

Inuyasha turned and stalked off into the woods. He couldn't look at them right now; he _couldn't._

"I think he's upset," he heard Hojo murmur to Miroku.

Miroku! Standing there, keeping his temper. He hadn't seen it. He _hadn't seen it._ Miroku hadn't been with them when he and Kagome had found Shippo, after his father died.

Inuyasha slashed at a branch and kept stalking. Away, just away. The leaves, the small scents, the lingering reek of serpent youkai on Tetsusaiga. He'd have to clean the damn tooth again...

Behind the bravado and demands, beyond the tricks and the thieving, beyond every tiny tick in a brave face...

The way the scrubby kit froze in front of Manten, how could Miroku know?

But _damn!_ Hadn't the stupid pervert gotten some idea of why he'd never driven the brat away?

He had no idea how hard it was, how hard not to tear Hojo's wretched tongue from his mouth, his eyes from his head, his-

Demon!

What is it? Don't let it near the baby.

Inuyasha grabbed a boulder from the ground, and heaved.

It's a hanyou! Half-bred filth!

What? You were feeding it? Just send it away. With claws like those, surely it can take care of itself.

It shifted loose, shedding clods of earth and grass, tearing roots and shelter from the soft, blind things that lived beneath.

I think I hit it that time! Gimme another rock.

He heaved it as far as he could, leaning his spirit on the splinter and the crash.

The next thing he knew, he was on his hands and knees, breathing hard. Inuyasha let his shoulders drop, palm hugged tight against the blade's rough hilt, as he pulled in the scent of the world, the woods, the torn ground, everything around him into himself.

At last, his breathing calmed and he muttered into the loam. "For once, I'm glad you're here."

The other demon gave a snort. "What's gotten into you, Inu-koro?"

Inuyasha snarled evilly and attacked.

.

.

.

"Any final words before I try to resume my life?" asked Kurama.

If any of you enjoyed the Kurama arc, perhaps you would also like my original piece, "Deconstruction," available on mediaminer. The style is quite similar.

" What?!"

That's www . mediaminer . org / fanfic / viewst . php ? id =33220.

" All this was a plug?!" demanded Kurama.

No, all this was for self-amusement. I didn't think of the plug part 'til later.


	21. Restraint

(Bows to Saro.)

The guys decided that I can't be Ithilwen any more.

"They probably have their reasons," flipping to the next page of _The Botany of Desire_.

True.

"What are you going to do?"

I'm having a **NAME THAT ME** contest!

Both "Ithilwen" and "Ithil" are taken. I'd still like a name with that in there somewhere because "Ithilwen" is still my username at mediaminer, and I don't want some well-meaning citizen to hit the plagiarism button. I'm not ruling anything out, though. I picked "Ithilwen" in the first place because it's Tolkein elvish for "moon girl." My real name is Diana Rose Flynn. I'm from New Jersey but I just finished school in NYC for—what are you doing?

Kurama was scribbling busily on a notepad. "My lawyer will want to know this."

The winner will receive the scene of his or her choice – anything below NC-17 – to be posted either as a one-shot or if it fits, as part of one of my stories. Runners up get a packet containing outtakes from "This Can't Be Good."

"That's self-serving and ineffectual," said Kurama.

And a cameo on the Kurama arc.

"What—?! No!"

If interested, please email suggestions for my new screenname to 

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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Kagome turned away from the Mura boy at the sound of voices coming through the trees.

"I'm not wrong about this!"

"While it is possible that your grandmother had the power to see through illusions, we cannot be sure that you inherited it."

She motioned to Shippo to hold the boy steady on Kirara's back as she slipped off into the trees.

"Listen! We need to do something about this before someone gets—"

"Pay attention, Hojo," Miroku's voice was stern. Kagome began to walk faster. "You are lucky to be alive after what you did, and when _she_ figures it out—"

"When who figures what out?" she ducked under a branch as both men turned her way.

Miroku opened his mouth to answer, looking at Hojo and back.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Guy talk?" she asked.

"Um," Hojo stammered, "Sort of..."

"Well Sango and I are waiting for you both. It's getting dark, and we should really get Mrs. Mura's grandson home today."

"Well, we'd better get going then," Hojo answered, motioning to Miroku that they follow her. The monk made a low sound.

"You say something, Miroku?" she asked innocently.

"No, nothing..."

Kagome snickered. All this time with Inuyasha, and he didn't think she knew a muttered curse word when she heard one? Whatever they'd been talking about, Hojo must have really annoyed Miroku. _I wonder if they were talking about Sango before_, she thought, putting one hand to her mouth. Her thoughts set. _And it would serve that pervy jerk right if she likes Hojo instead of him! _Miroku might like being around Sango – sometimes Kagome thought he even liked the fights – but a lot of the time, it was clear his interest was elsewhere. _Flirting with every woman he sees... Maybe even if Hojo does go back home, Miroku will at least realize that Sango might not wait around forever until he grows a brain about girls_. And if he couldn't get back... Well... Hojo wasn't intimidated by a strong woman, and he treated Sango like the lady she was.

The tajiya waved as the three of them came back into view. There was a whisper behind her as they walked, "Maybe you _do_ have that kind of demon here," Hojo was saying, "and they just never got caught."

"Maybe, you should open your eyes, Hojo," Miroku's whisper cracked bitterly.

"Ka_go_me!" she looked down to see Shippo tugging insistently at her ankle, "He threw up _again_."

She winced, "Not all over Kirara?"

"No," he gave a shrug, "but Sango sure isn't happy..."

Miroku cringed. Kagome opened her mouth to ask what he was so upset about, but Shippo gave a hop, small feet scrabbling against her waistband, and she had to swing her arm around in time to keep him from falling backwards off her hip. She tried to fake a scowl, but just couldn't do it.

"Shippo! Don't you have your own feet?"

He gave a perfect laugh and shook his head.

"So I have to carry you all the way back?" she asked in horror.

"Uh huh!" his small hands fisted in her shirt. She hid a smile and kept walking, one hand light against Shippo's back, just barely riding back and forth with his breathing.

"But..." another whisper behind her. Kagome rolled her eyes. "But I get this chill in my heart!" Hojo was telling the reluctant priest. "Like someone's walking over my grave."

"Then perhaps you should invest in warmer clothing," snapped the monk.

_For goodness' sake; I'm not deaf!_

"Where's Inuyasha?" asked Sango. "Priest, wasn't he with you?"

"Ah..." Miroku held up a hand. "He was, but—"

"He needed to blow off some steam," Hojo finished. "He was really upset before."

"Upset?" Kagome asked him, "about what?"

"Um..."

_Oh not again..._ Kagome sighed. Why couldn't Inuyasha just accept that Hojo had a lot to learn and move on? Sure, the modern boy had been an absolute bonehead during the battle, but it wasn't as if he was _trying_ to give people a hard time. With a tug, she slid Shippo off her hip and set him on the ground by Kirara's feet. "I'll go find him," she sighed.

"You shouldn't go by yourself, Higurashi!" insisted Hojo. He took a step back the way they'd come, and found his way blocked by Miroku's staff.

"That is perhaps true," said the monk, "however, I think you are not, perhaps, the best person to accompany her."

"But you—"

"Oh stop it," Kagome waved at them. "Inuyasha does this all the time. He's probably just off sulking by himself somewhere."

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"WHAT the—?!"

Kouga launched himself to the side in time to lose a chunk of hair instead of the left half of his throat.

"I'm gonna use your wrist bones for tweezers, you reeking wolf!"

Where had _that_ come from?

Dog breath landed heavily, gouging deep cuts into the earth beneath him as he shook the brown threads off his claws and came at him again.

It wasn't that Inu-koro had caught him off guard, not really... Kouga was as eager as ever to give him the sound beating he kept asking for. It was just that usually the fighting match didn't come until after the boasting-and-insult match. Kouga usually had to throw a half-dozen good ones at him before he'd really get down to it. This time, the dog demon had struck first, and only offered his worthless threats once the fight had begun in earnest.

He grinned. Getting into it this way really saved a lot of time!

Kouga dodged another iron slash at the absolute last second, flicking his head over his shoulder to see his opponent overbalance and sprawl. The wolf prince pivoted, landing a heavy kick between his shoulder blades. Kouga smirked, buzzing on the steady power from the Shikon shards in his legs.

"Goowf!" For all that Inu-koro liked to boast and shove the Dog Lord's fang in people's faces, it sure felt like kicking a human spine. Kouga's nose wrinkled. A mortal body and a dog's sour scent. The poor guy couldn't win, could he?

"Drop something, dog breath?" he asked, "Back down!"

"Not a fucking chance, wolf turd!"

Kouga started as his opponent flipped to his feet, "I should have done this a long time ago." The seething dog demon coiled in on himself like a viper and struck outward, fangs gleaming like twin blades as the light failed. Kouga crouched and dodged sideways, knocking the red-clad arm aside and scoring a punch to his shoulder.

Inu-koro didn't miss a beat, turning back on him almost before his feet hit the ground. Kouga dodged again, but this time dog breath followed his move and actually scored skin. The wolf prince's felt his eyes go just a little wide.

_Dog breath doesn't have the brains to guess my moves!_ Kouga ducked under another slash and aimed a kick to Inu-koro's rib cage. The puny mutt usually just swung his father's sword around like a stick until it hit something or broke out with that damned wind scar._ Something is making him focus..._

At least this explained why there had been nothing but shredded corpses at the serpents' den.

Inu-koro slipped the kick and came back with a punch to Kouga's cheekbone. What the fuck had gotten into him? He was moving as if he actually knew how to win. The wolf reeled, jumping back before the dog demon could follow up. Kouga dove and struck again, surprised to find a grin on his face.

_About time you did more than waste my time, dog breath!_ Kouga made a swipe at Inuyasha's midsection. The dog demon made an impressive twist midair and escaped, smirking. _So this is how he fights when he keeps that overgrown knife in its sheath._ Not to be outdone, the wolf prince faked a kick with one knee and slammed the opposite instep down right on one deformed little ear. Inuyasha was only stunned for a heartbeat, fending off a blow to his stomach.

Swords were human conceits, easily broken, and good for little but impressing the weaklings. Claws, fangs, wits – which Inu-koro suddenly seemed to have – _this_ was a demon fight! Maybe the guy had finally come to his senses.

A chuckle rose in his throat. An image came to mind all the same. "What's the matter, dog breath?" Kouga taunted, "Can't enlarge your sword?" the dog demon's eyes glinted, "Or is it just that my Kagome turned you down? You should have known that she could do better!"

Inuyasha gave an unintelligible snarl and lashed out before Kouga could fully slip aside. The wolf demon blinked, more surprised at the vehemence of Inuyasha's response than by the fact that he'd actually landed one.

"You shut your ugly hole about Kagome!" the dog demon seethed and seemed to shudder from his good ear to his bare feet.

"I can talk about her all I want, dog breath," he answered with real ire. "She's my woman; she'll be with me when this is done," Inu-koro's anger hadn't come from nowhere. What if it did have something to do with Kagome? What if he really _had_ tried to get her to—

"She's never been yours!" Inuyasha flexed one half-transformed hand, smooth claws gleaming in the dim, "I should kill you this time," he answered, breathing hard.

"You can barely land a punch!" he shot back, gauging the distance for another strike. He narrowed his eyes at the rage in him. _Maybe he IS having 'trouble,'_ Kouga shook his head. Right now he had better things to think about than some other guy's—

"I don't _believe_ this!"

The voice came out of nowhere. Inuyasha's head turned. He swore once. Kouga kicked him in the head. He swore again and went down. This left the wolf prince free to find the source of the sound.

...a rumpled, tufty-haired, rather odd-looking human. Kouga frowned. Maybe it was just the evenly-cropped hair that made him look different. Or maybe it was that so few of them looked him straight in the eye like that.

"You must be Kouga," he said with what was either confidence or stupidity . The wolf prince narrowed his eyes, feeling the shards give another throb of power. He inhaled the night air. Nothing about this young man's scent seemed out of the ordinary, though a heavy reek of snake youkai was covering some of the subtler parts. The human looked him up and down, "You'd pretty much have to be Kouga. You two were just fighting over Higurashi, weren't you?"

Higur— Oh. Kagome.

"And what if we were?" Kouga leveled his gaze at the boy and struck his most intimidating pose.

"That's _barbaric!_"

He wasn't cowering. Why wasn't he cowering?!

"You're fighting over a real person like she was a piece of _food_!" the human was waving his arms. Kouga couldn't get his mouth to close. Part of him wanted to tear the boy's tongue out through his ears for giving a lecture about his woman. And not fighting? Did he think he would have _backed down_ in front of Inu-koro?

"Friend of yours, Inu-koro?" Kouga sneered, "Inu-koro?" he looked down. "Wake up, dog breath! This is no time to sleep!" he gave the other demon a kick and pointed to the human. "Tell me who that is or I'll kill him."

Inuyasha gave a groan and sat up, "Promise?"

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"Which way did he go?" Kagome stamped her foot on the ground. "I can't believe he tried to follow me! He's going to get himself lost out here."

Miroku gave a sigh. Getting lost was the least of Hojo's problems if he ran into Inuyasha while he was still angry.

Kagome fumed quietly. "You didn't _have_ to come with me, you know."

The monk paused before answering, "That's true, I suppose," he said, "but if it should happen to take more than Lady Kaede's beads to—"

"...told you to get out of my sight!"

Inuyasha's voice, and not far ahead. Kagome didn't miss a beat, shoving at the branches in her way as she floundered toward the sound.

Wait...

The shouting didn't stop, and it wasn't Inuyasha anymore. Miroku squinted into the dim as Kagome's back went stiff. "Shikon shards," she whispered sharply. He pulled in a breath and took a firmer grip on his staff. "Two of them! And a presence of—"

A wave of surprise and dismay passed over the girl's body. Miroku stepped toward her and leaned in to catch her answer. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's Kouga!" she hissed.

"Kouga is here?" he inquired sharply. If the wolf demon had encountered Inuyasha while he was in such a rage... Miroku suppressed a shudder. Even if they both lived, it wouldn't be a pretty sight.

But as long as he was over here... His left hand flexed.

Kagome nodded, "And Hojo said that Inuyasha was angry to begin with! What if he does something—eeeep!" Kagome jumped bolt upright and yanked herself away. Miroku grinned.

Kagome snatched a rock off the ground and sent it bouncing right off his head. Worth it! "Do you _always_ have to do that?!"

"Kagome," he answered in a voice smirking with holiness, "I only mean to—"

A painfully familiar voice cracked the twilight. "...know this is the medieval times and all, but that's no excuse!"

_That sounded like..._

"Is that Hojo?" asked Miroku. The two of them exchanged a glance and renewed their pace through the brush. The monk paused when he caught a flash of Inuyasha's red hakama through the leaves. He cast his eyes about for a place to hide.

"Kagome!" he whispered sharply, gesturing toward a spreading pine, "perhaps we had best see how this plays out before we interfere. I think we can both fit under here."

The girl narrowed her eyes at him, and then his hands and then at him, "I'll watch from over here, thanks."

"My dear, Kagome, what are you implying?"

"...and from what Miroku and Miss Sango told me, you do this all the time!" Hojo was seething, "Do you think that girls will like you more just because you can beat someone up? She'll think you're a violent loser with no self-control!"

Miroku closed his eyes. Hojo was going to die if he kept this up. Kagome peered through the branches. The light was almost gone, but she could just see the side of Kouga's face. His eyebrows had run up and hidden behind his headband, his mouth a half-gaping grimace.

Hojo had left the both of them ...too dumbfounded to move?

"What, do you think that she's your girlfriend just because you say so?"

"Well, actually—"

"And _you!_ You treat Higurashi like dirt half the time! She works her skin raw trying to keep up with you. You both have the maturity of four year-olds!"

Hojo was being terribly foolhardy, but... Miroku covered a chuckle with one hand. For all his own shortsightedness, it seemed as if the modern boy was forcing the wolf prince to think – and it looked a bit painful for the poor guy. "He makes a few good points," he admitted mirthfully. "Who knew he had it in him? Though Hojo may be a fool in some respects, at times he truly—"

"—you _and_ that excuse for a monk!" Hojo towered. "Higurashi and Miss Sango both have the patience of saints!"

Miroku choked. _Why that little..._

"I don't know who you are, human," Kouga finally found his tongue. "Maybe dog breath lets you get away with something like that, but I sure won't!"

"His power's building!" Kagome hissed. "He's going to attack!" she started to move.

"Wait!" Miroku insisted. "I think that—"

"Let go of me, Inu-koro!"

A growl. Another.

"Are you boys going to fight again? No one's impressed!"

"Shut up, asshole!" Inuyasha roared. "Even this wimpy scrap of a wolf could tear you into lunch meat if I decide to let him."

"Who do you think you are, dog breath?"

The voices dropped so that Miroku could barely make out Inuyasha's answer. Something about, "She ... promise ... won't ..."

"...and since you basically can't do anything unless I choose not to stop it," the dog demon's loud arrogance was back. "That pretty much means you can't kill him either." A low, canine chuckle, and, "So unless you want to keep me company while I have to put up with his whiny crap, I think you should get your stinking tail gone!"

"We'll see about that!" seethed Kouga.

"Get lost, wolf! Don't let me catch you coming after..." Miroku frowned as Inuyasha broke off. He shook his head at his own stupidity. Inuyasha was sniffing the air! "...Kagome?" he called.

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"If it's a name you want," said Kurama, "I think I can save you the trouble..."

Really?

"Why don't you call yourself . . ."

. . ? !


	22. Oneup

I'm not going to say that.

"But it fits you so well," answered Kurama.

Do you know what that means?

"Of course I know what it means."

Besides, Almaseti picked a great name.

"She told you to change it all the time," he pointed out.

I like it. So Almaseti gets the scene of her choice.

"As long as it does not involve me."

Whatever she wants.

"Nothing with me."

Be nice. And read this.

Kurama took the paper, giving the narrator a quizzical look. "'Chaos Baked Goods'? What is it?"

Just the sponsors.

"And why should I?"

If you do, I'll give these back no fuss.

"What the—?!" Kurama reached out and snatched a pair of green boxers with the YYH logo. "I wasn't even wearing these today!"

I know.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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Inuyasha turned toward the scent, noting from the corner of his eye that Kouga had done the same, his nose crinkling against the air with an eagerness that made Inuyasha want to punch it.

"What?" Hojo was saying, "What, is she here?" the boy's face flushed. "I didn't mean for Higurashi to hear all those..." he quit stammering and pushed his chin up, "Well I still mean every word of it! You're both terrible—"

"Shut up," Inuyasha sneered at him, starting as Kouga snapped the exact same thing.

The two demons glared at each other in the dim, until Inuyasha finally looked away and took a step toward the eddy of Kagome's scent. The grass rustled lightly as the wolf turd followed suit.

"Quit copying me, dog breath!"

"Quit copying _me!_"

"Do you guys even _know_ how you sound?"

Inuyasha noticed a steady pain in his palms, and realized that his claws had been digging into his fists.

"Kagome," Inuyasha called, forcing his scowl to soften. "We all know you're there. Come out." Hearing it from a pus-brain like Hojo didn't make it any less true: Kouga's say-so didn't make Kagome his. The girl might lavish her foolish kindness on the whiny human and the wolf, but there was only one person here she'd follow. If Inuyasha said it was safe to come out, why then Kagome would—

"No!"

"Kagome!" he protested.

Kouga snickered. Inuyasha ground his teeth together. An instant later, the wolf demon had pushed through the brush and pulled Kagome into the clearing, parting the branches like a footman helping a princess from a sedan.

...a scruffy, spattered, angry-as-hornets princess.

"Kouga-kun," Kagome's scolding was more than a little marred by blush rising on her face. "You and Inuyasha were fighting again!"

"I was winning."

Inuyasha and Kouga exchanged another glare, "If you don't stop copying me, dog face..."

"You'll pretend that you punched my lights out?"

"Kouga!" Kagome slapped her attention on the wolf. "I don't know what you're doing here but you picked a bad time to come start a fight."

"I am sorry to have troubled you, my Kagome," Kouga answered with the lightest smear of a grin, "but I only showed up to talk, and mutt-face over here attacked me."

_Why that lying little—_ Inuyasha blinked. _Oh, wait..._ When Kagome turned her glared toward him, he folded his arms and looked away.

"He lunged at me almost as soon as I showed up," the wolf demon caught both her hands and both her eyes with his, "but it's always good to see you, Kagome..."

"Um!"

Oh _hell_ no.

Inuyasha slapped Kouga's wrists down and gave the wolf demon a strong shove. How did he always make that stupid girl blush like that? As much as Inuyasha might have liked for Kagome to forget that she was mad at them, no way was he letting Kouga greet her so familiarly. The wolf prince recovered quickly, lancing out a loud growl. Inuyasha clenched his fists and answered. Louder.

"I don't believe this," Hojo muttered.

Inuyasha smothered a grin. "Wrong move..." he murmured.

"And _you!_" Kagome stomped toward the sputtering human.

Kouga shook his head, "Neeeever draw her fire when she's like this," he whispered. Inuyasha gave an affirmative grunt and, careful to keep one eye on Kouga, craned his neck to watch the fun.

"Higurashi? Did I— You're mad at—? I only—"

"I work _so_ hard to keep you from getting hurt, and you run off into the woods _alone_ and start yelling at the first two armed youkai you find!"

"Do any four-armed youkai live around here?" Kouga murmured to himself. Inuyasha cocked one eyebrow at the wolf.

"But I thought— They were being such—"

Kagome stamped her foot, "If Kouga-kun weren't such a nice guy—" Inuyasha glowered as the wolf demon shot him a smirk, "—you'd probably be dead!"

"They were insulting you, Higurashi! They were acting like you were a— Like you were some kind of—" Inuyasha felt a new growl hum to life. He definitely didn't like it when Hojo made his eyes get all big and sincere, or when he made his voice catch and bit his lip with those useless human teeth.

Kouga's eyes were going from Inuyasha to Hojo's outreached hands and back. Inuyasha snorted. At least the wolf turd wasn't completely brainless. "Inu-koro," he said in a voice like slow draw of a steel blade, "who is that and why haven't you killed him?"

"A boy from Kagome's village and because she made me promise not to."

Kouga shot him a disbelieving look, "You mean you let a woman talk you out of destroying an enemy?" he shot another look at Hojo, who cringed under Kagome's scolding. "Or something..."

"It's not the first time, wolf turd," Inuyasha glowered.

"And what is _that_ supposed to mean, dog breath?"

Inuyasha let another steady snarl reach out toward Kouga, who returned in kind. Kagome was kind of busy over there, Inuyasha realized as he flexed his hand, feeling the uncomfortable nothing in his claws. She probably wouldn't even notice if he shredded Kouga just a little. The grass swished lightly as he focused on his opponent. Kouga might have had the same idea. Kouga might be planning his first move right now. Kouga might—

_Thwapp!_

"Ow!"

_Thwapp!_

_"Ow!"_

"If you two are quite finished?" Miroku settled his staff back into a standing position.

"What was that for?" Inuyasha shouted, clutching at the bump on his head.

"Stay out of this, holy man," Kouga threatened as he tried to uncross his eyes.

"As I had been about to say," the monk answered calmly, "it may not be who Hojo is, so much as _what._"

Kouga's afflicted eyes narrowed, "What do you mean 'what'?"

"As my master, Mushin, used to warn me..."

Inuyasha felt his attention wither. He'd already heard this part. He put his mind back where it belonged: on Kagome and the stammering runt.

By now, Hojo must have grabbed a stiff branch and shoved it down the back of his shirt for a spine, because he was holding his face and body perfectly straight under Kagome's fervent words. "My actions may have strong, Higurashi," he said at last, "but they're perfectly appropriate. Besides, Higurashi, I was looking for _you!_" Kouga and Miroku looked up from their talk, "_You_ ran out into the woods..." the boy spread his hands. "_Someone_ had to protect you!"

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"That's it, little one," Sango spoke gently to the sniffling child as she settled him behind Kirara's neck. "No need to cry..." she reassured him as Shippo reached out with one tiny hand and gave the boy an awkward pat on the head.

"Careful, Shippo," she told him, watching the Mura boy's head bob eerily. His bottom lip wavered. This child was about to bawl again. "I don't think we should startle him, or he might—"

The tajiya and both demons jumped as the air shattered into an eldritch, **"_GWAAAAAAA_HAAHAHEHEEEHAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHAAAAA!!"**

Sango's hand shot to hiraikotsu, and her eyes blazed, searching the dark trees for whatever could have made that double-throated bellow.

"Sango!" Shippo waved distressedly, pointing to the Mura boy.

"What?" she asked, then noticed the bright olive tinge on the baby's face and neck, "No!" she held up both hands, "No, child, don't—Ugh!"

Shippo cringed. "Ewwww..."

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.

.

Inuyasha clutched both arms over his stomach, gasping hysterically between convulsions. If he hadn't found something to lean against, he'd have been rocking back and forth on the arch of his back.

Kouga wasn't so lucky. The wolf prince was doubled over, and reduced to hiccoughs.

"Come on," Hojo lifted his shoulders, "It can't be _that_ funny!"

Both demons only howled louder. Kouga dropped and started kicking the ground.

"_I'm _(hic!) _going to_ (hic!) **_die!_**"

"Miroku," Kagome sounded exasperated. "Miroku, would you help me with— Miroku?" The monk shook his head. ...as a matter of fact, he was shaking all over, from head to toe, his sealed hand covering over his mouth. "Oh not you _too!_"

"Kagome-sama," Miroku didn't completely manage the words, but it was a far improvement over Inuyasha's unintelligible bawling. "I seem to have... I am overcome with..." it was hopeless. "Forgive me, Kagome-sama, but surely you can appreciate our point of view."

"Ooooooooh!"

Slap!  
"Ow!"

Smack!

"Ow!"

"Sit!"

_"Ow!"_

"Higurashi! You ...you _hit_ them!"

"Right now," Kagome ignored Hojo, "the only things I'd appreciate are a good meal and a hot bath. Kouga-kun," she turned to the silent if dazed wolf prince, "we're going back to the human village for tonight, and you're welcome to come with us."

"What? No he's not!"

"Oh wonderful..."

"But Higurashi!"

Kagome lifted her chin and walked primly back the way she and Miroku had come, effect only a little spoiled by her smudged legs and tangled hair. "I think we've kept Sango waiting long enough."

The monk held himself still and watched her walk away, Hojo scrambling after. The silence stretched into the rising night noise. Finally, Kouga breathed out, "Something about him just ticks me off."

Miroku snorted, "Yeah yeah..."

"Take a number."

.

.

.

"You must stop stealing my underwear," said Kurama.

Stealing?

"Surely even you can appreciate that the joke is old."

Joke?


	23. It's Called Adoration, Now Shut Up and B...

The runners up are coming to visit.

"Hopefully, my cab will get here first," said Kurama.

The first one is Emerald Dragon, for best research. She says to put away your rose.

"And why would I do that?" he asked haughtily.

Her livestock are allergic.

"She raises animals?"

She said she was bringing a baby one. They get colds.

"Well she shouldn't bring it, then. It would be her own fault if she must deal with an allergic reaction in her little sheep or calf or goat or..."

. . .

"Her name was Emerald..." he trailed off.

Dragon.

Just then, a cab pulled up, and a girl got out, coaxing a small scaly creature on a leash.

"Hi!" she called out. "Do you want to pet Twiggy?"

Twiggy gave a sniffle.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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.

.

"I think I understand," Kouga was saying, "but if these flaturals—"

"_Naturals,_" corrected Miroku.

"—whatever—are so much trouble, then why not drive them from your settlements and be done with it?"

"No, say it with me: _Na—tur—al._"

"Whatever!"

Inuyasha dug the heel of his palm deeper into his cheek, barely noting the wolf's prattle with Miroku. The trip back to the village had been fun. The human brat hadn't shut up the whole way, and the dog demon had nearly wrung his own neck trying to keep an eye on Kouga and Hojo and Kagome. ...not to mention a loose-handed monk who had never once managed to take a hint that NOW might be a good time to leave off, and Sango was covered in baby barf.

His ear was starting to puff up, probably from when Kouga had smashed it during the fight. It ached every time he moved it and he just couldn't hold it still. Not with what was going on over there. _Nothing but whispers and gawking on the way in, but bring back one rugrat and it's festival day_. Hojo was a regular hero.

No sooner had Kirara come within shrieking range of that stinking stickhole of a town than the alarm went up. Inuyasha's hand went halfway to Tetsusaiga before he realized that no one was yelling about a fight. The rest blurred a bit: Sango leaning wearily against Kirara. Kagome pointing Kouga toward the village inn. Hojo handing off the squalling boy to someone, probably the kid's old man. There was a woman in a blue dress nearby, biting the back of her hand.

_Weak humans... Can't even protect their own brat._

But did that make it their fault? Human children made it adulthood all the time. His eyes found their way back to the boy. This one would probably grow up too. A faded memory blew past the front of his mind. Wasn't that why humans lived all together in these reeking villages in the first place?

Chubby. They obviously fed him right. They were probably as scratch-poor as everyone else in this town, but their kid looked like he'd never gone to sleep hungry in his life.

And the man of the hour was pointing a finger this way. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes and growled low. What the fuck would Hojo have to say? It's called adoration, moron, now shut up and bask.

"—of course I'm not joking. Do I look like the kind of guy who could kill one of those things?" Hojo pointed again, "I know I was the one who said we'd bring your grandson back, but you should at least thank him." Hojo might have been speaking Kagome's English lesson for all the noise changed. "Higurashi, help me out!"

Stupid bastard, what the fuck did he care?

Mrs. Mura actually looked his way long enough to blink before turning back to Kagome. Inuyasha didn't bother to listen. She'd spin her little sugar-truth about how he was some saint, and all warm and cuddly and didn't he make the cutest sounds when he rolled over to get his ears scratched? The dog demon grit his teeth. He didn't do a fucking thing for anyone's worthless thanks...

Mrs. Mura was fussing about something. Inuyasha looked up. The old woman wanted to carry the kid, but her daughter wouldn't put him down. By now, the woman was probably in worse shape than Sango. Her son was covered in dirt, spit-up, gore and probably worse from the time he'd spent in the snake demon's guts, and the boy's mother was just standing there with her back to him, swaying back and forth as her husband tried to shut the old bag up.

_"Why didn't you run when I told you to?"_

The woman turned so that Inuyasha could see over one shoulder to the kid's face. He looked asleep. Finally.

"So what you're really saying is that this 'Hojo' can charm any woman he wants," the wolf prince's brow clenched helplessly, "and he doesn't know he's doing it?"

"That is right," answered Miroku.

"Sounds harmless," Kouga gave a snort. "It's just like Inu-koro to get worked up about noth—"

The priest gave a cough, and the dog demon could hear a rattle as Miroku tipped his staff toward the crowd, pointing Kouga toward what Inuyasha had been watching the whole time:

Kagome laughing at something Hojo said. Kagome letting Hojo hold her hand. Kagome trying not to let Hojo see that the red on her face was the blush and not the torchlight.

"Oh."

"Indeed."

"I repeat, dog breath," Kouga raised his voice into a sneer, "why haven't you driven him off? I left you in charge of protecting my woman, and—"

"She's not your woman, wolf turd!" he snapped over his shoulder.

Kouga's eyes narrowed, "I thought we settled this in the woods."

"All we _settled_ was dust on your slow-ass moves!"

"You were the one lying in the dust, dog breath!"

Inuyasha growled. Even if it was only because Hojo had come in and distracted him, Kouga had taken him down. Even if he'd have been up again on his own in a heartbeat and a half, Kouga had taken him down, and there was no taking it back.

Why had he let Hojo sneak up on them like that? The stupid boy crashed his way though the woods like a cow. Had he really gotten that wrapped up in the fight?

Inuyasha eyed the bruise blooming dark under the skin below Kouga's eye.

"What are you smirking at?"

"Shut your ugly hole, wolf turd!"

"Who are you calling ugly, mutt-face?"

Inuyasha revved an answer from his chest. Kouga growled back. Louder.

No, no matter how badly the reeking wolf deserved to get pounded into health food, Inuyasha did not need the kind of focus that made him lose his guard. His fight with Kouga had been amazing, but what good was being able to concentrate his strength if any outside enemy could attack while he was distract—

_Thwa—_

Inuyasha's hand shot out and caught the Miroku's staff below the head. He snapped a curse and let go. How could someone who spent so much time pulling cons and chasing women still get to have holy powers? Either Buddha was very understanding or Miroku's soul was a lot more pure than it let on.

"That won't work twice in the same night, priest," he sneered, fighting the urge to flex his stinging fist.

The monk cocked an eyebrow, "Far be it from me to keep the two of you from finding other amusements," he asserted calmly, "but have your superior demon senses alerted you to the fact that dinner is ready?"

Kouga's head flipped back toward the center square, nose quickly snuffling. Inuyasha gave a snort. Wolf demons were a rough bunch, especially Kouga's tribe. Before Kagura had cut back their ranks, the wolves and warriors under his leadership had forced three clans of smaller youkai out of their mountains. They hadn't won any points from Inuyasha for their either their brains or their hygiene, but even he had to admit that they were tough, probably vital in their prince's rise to power.

"Hey," Kouga blinked. "Food!"

But if there was one of them who could cook worth shit, he'd eat Tetsusaiga. They'd tried to eat Shippo's screamer mushrooms, for fuck's sake!

"Well then!" the wolf prince got to his feet with a grin. "My woman invited me to spend the night—" Inuyasha bristled at Kouga's smugness, "—and as long as I'm not getting a shard of the Shikon jewel on this trip..."

The dog demon narrowed his eyes after the other youkai's steps, but Kouga barely brushed past Kagome and Hojo before making a beeline for the dumplings.

"Aren't you coming?" asked Miroku.

There was a rustle of robes behind him as the monk got to his feet. There was Hojo with a bowl in his hand, Hojo getting kissed by Mrs. Mura's daughter, Hojo smiling at something Kagome'd said.

Miroku exhaled, "The attitude of these townspeople toward you, Inuyasha, may be less hospitable than gratitude would dictate—"

The dog demon gave a snort.

"—but they have seen fit to provide all of us with a fine meal—"

"Saving you the trouble of another phony exorcism," he grumbled.

"—and you're not exactly encouraging them."

"Who says I want them encouraged, priest?" he shot back. "We both know I'd let this place burn to the ground if it meant getting us another shard of the jewel! I didn't rescue any damn kid so anyone'd think I was some hero."

"No," Miroku agreed, eyes drifting speculatively, "not _just_ anyone, I imagine..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded.

Miroku shook his head. The priest sat down next to Inuyasha, following his line of vision. "Tell me," he said simply, "why is Hojo still alive?"

Inuyasha gave a grunt, "Kagome made me promise not to kill him, that's why."

"But, strictly speaking," Miroku went on, "you could have allowed Kouga to slay the boy, and still kept such a promise."

Inuyasha pushed back a growl. "It's not that simple," he answered.

"What did she offer you?" asked the monk.

_"If Hojo gets home safe, I won't do it for a whole week."_

_Inuyasha's ears flattened back as his eyes went very wide. 'I couldn't have heard that right.'_

"Not what she would have had to offer _you_, pervert!" he snarled. "Aren't you going to go eat? You ask stupid questions when you're hungry."

The monk pulled his hands together and backed away, but something in his gaze told Inuyasha that this line of questioning was more postponed than ended. "At least come join us while we benefit from your labors," said Miroku. "I for one would say that slaying giant serpents is hungry work."

"Then why don't you go eat something and quit bothering me?"

"As you wish," he conceded, casting his eyes back toward the crowd, "Kouga seems to be more than willing to eat your share." The monk's robes swished against the grass as he walked away.

Inuyasha stared into the dull light. The humans had gathered torches, and the torches had gathered moths. A few of the village girls had clustered around Hojo, probably begging him to tell the story one more time. Kouga was chowing down on dumplings.

Why _had_ he protected Hojo? Miroku was right in a smug-bastard kind of way. Hojo had put Shippo in danger; it wouldn't have been wrong to let him die. And if Kouga had been the one to strike the blow, then Kagome would have gotten mad at _him_, turned her tears on _him_, told _him_ that she never wanted to see his lame ass ever again...

Was that it?

_I don't want to see her cry. _Inuyasha glared down at the boy. _Not for him. Not because of him. Not after what he did._

If Kagome knew what Hojo had tried, if she knew what Hojo had _thought_ about Shippo.

"She'd forgive him," Inuyasha's thoughts withered, "just like she forgave the fucking wolf." His fists clenched in the dirt, ripping up chunks of root. Why did she have to be so fucking sweet to them? They didn't deserve it! Violent, weak, ignorant, possessive, stupid—They didn't deserve any of it! No one fucking did!

Idiots. Stupid fucking idiots. They took it as encouragement, a sign that she really did like them best, when all her smiles, her hopes, her kind concern... They were nothing but Kagome being Kag—

Inuyasha blinked into the crowd. Hojo with Mrs. Mura, Kouga by the food, Miroku making eyes at some young woman...

Where had that stupid girl gotten off to?

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.

.

Kurama beat out the flames in his clothes.

I told you not to make her mad.

"And I've told you to stop stealing my garments," he shot back.

The next one is Mommy Rogers. She just wants you to meet her kids.

"That doesn't sound so hard."

Aged four and six.

He dropped the whip.


	24. Cutting Losses

"Wheeeeee!" called Liam.  
"Get off me!" Kurama twisted, trying to dislodge the four-year-old.

"I want his hair!" called Briana.

Kurama pointed at her with one smooth finger. "I would put those barrettes away if I were you!"

"Kids!" called MommyRogers, "Don't break Ithilwen's guest star!"

Thank you very much. It was hard to get him here.

"Guest star?" Kurama stood up regally to protest. The effect was somewhat ruined by Liam clamping his hands over his forehead. "This crazy person is holding me captive."

"Whoooooooaa!" the boy shifted his weight, forcing Kurama to one side.

"Gah!"

"I like your shirt, Mr. Kurama," said Briana.

"At least she hasn't tried to steal it," he muttered back.

Want me to show you how, Briana?

"Yeah!" she answered.

"No!" shouted Kurama.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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Inuyasha smashed down the pinpricks on his spine, still sweeping his gaze along the treeline. That nest of serpent youkai had probably driven off all the other big and nasties in their hunting range, so even if she'd strayed outside the human holdings, there probably wasn't anything left that could hurt her. ...but there would be scavengers coming, slinking toward the reek of slashed demon bodies. And the quiet creatures, the ones that hunted with traps instead of claws. She could run afoul of one of those. And Naraku. It always came back to Naraku.

He inhaled quietly, seeking her scent on the air, and swore into the dusk. The breeze had shifted. If he was going to catch her trail, he'd only find it against the ground. Maybe if he started right now, he could catch her before she got into trouble.

Inuyasha gave himself a shake. _Stop being so paranoid._ So Kagome had stepped out of his line of sight for a second. She could have gone to find Sango. She could have gone to feed Kirara or tuck Shippo in for the night. The dog demon allowed himself a smirk, eyes flicking back to the crowd. And she _definitely_ wasn't with Hojo or Kouga.

Besides, Kagome knew better than to sneak out into the woods on her own at night.

The shiver in his veins returned full-force. ...what the hell was he thinking? No she didn't!

Inuyasha shoved himself to his feet, "Kagome?" he called out.

"What?"

"Aaah!"

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.

.

"Sango, are you almost done yet?"

"Almost, Shippo."

There was a quiet splashing from behind the door. The kitsune cub leaned sullenly against the village washhouse. On the way back, there had been a universal decision that Sango deserved the first bath, and _someone_ had to stand around and make sure that Miroku didn't try any of his old tricks. Shippo sighed. _Stupid Miroku. How come I always have to be the grownup?_

There was a sloshing sound from behind the wooden slats. Was Sango finally done?

"Sango, I'm hungry. We better get there before Miroku and Kouga eat all the good stuff."

"Shippo, why are you worrying? Kagome always saves you something."

"Yeah, but I like to be there myself..." he pulled his yellow ball out of its vest pocket and passed it back and forth between his hands. Girls! _I know she got spit up on by that human baby, but with all the time she's taking, I might even learn to juggle by the time she's done._

There was some more splashing, and a series of drips. "Shippo, when Inuyasha strikes you for pestering him, have the injuries ever taken more than a day or so to heal?"

Shippo's tail bristled, even though Sango couldn't see, "I'm not scared of Inuyasha!"

"Yes, but does he ever hit you too hard?"

_What in the world is she talking about? Inuyasha doesn't hit me hard when he gets mad, at least no more than he hits Miroku._

"All I'm trying to say is," there was some more dripping and the rustle of cloth. Shippo shrugged and gave his ball another toss, "I know Kagome's worried about you..."

The ball landed in the dust and began to roll. Shippo gave a snatch at it, but missed. He looked over his shoulder at the door, then at his retreating ball. What if one of the village children stole it before he could find it again?

"If you can keep a secret, Shippo, Kagome even made Inuyasha make a promise..."

Shippo cringed, biting down on one hand before he finally gave in. It sounded like she was getting dressed already anyway. He scurried off after the ball.

"Come on..." Why did they have to build their washhouse on an incline? "Come on!" he leaped again and missed, his ball still rolling merrily toward the village center.

"Gotcha!" he snagged the yellow sphere, cradling it close to his chest before tucking it safely back in its place. Now to hurry back before Sango knew he'd gone...

_Oh...._ Shippo's nose crinkled. His feet stopped. His stomach grumbled.

Food!

Shippo cast a look over his shoulder toward the bath. Sango would probably be dressed and out before he got back anyway and ... mmmmmm! So hungry...

Shippo inched closer to the sound of feet. Had the whole village come out to welcome Mrs. Mura's grandson back. His nose twitched again. Rice... Some kind of fish... What kind of fish would they be eating, this far from the ocean?

"I know they're demonic snake monsters and all..."

Hojo? Shippo peeked around a corner to find Hojo holding a bowl of food and a perplexed expression.

"...but why was their breath so bad?"

Kouga shrugged, gulping down a mouthful of rice, "They probably eat humans." He shook his head, "I remember how some of my wolves would get. I tell you, it almost wasn't worth the –what?"

"Kouga," Miroku interrupted, looking meaningfully toward the nearest group of villagers.

"What?" he asked again.

Hojo blinked. "You mean—" He began to point toward Kouga.

Shippo shook his head and began to look around for a spare bowl.

"There are many breeds of youkai that seek human flesh," the monk mentioned quietly.

Bowl, ha! Now for something to put in it...

"Yes, I realize that," Hojo answered, while the wolf demon tossed a dumpling in the air, "but does he mean that he's actually—"

Kouga caught the morsel between his teeth, tossed his head again, and gulped loudly.

"Truth be told," Miroku began, "I have never seen fit to ask him."

Shippo helped himself to the rice. The dumplings didn't smell so yummy now.

"But don't you think it's kind of—"

"Excuse us, Hojo-san?" Shippo watched a trio of young girls in faded yukata approach the perplexed boy, "would you... That is, we were wondering..."

Hojo's confusion flipped to cheery solicitousness so quickly that Shippo had to wonder if he hadn't had his face repainted. "What may I do for you, Miss Hanako?" he asked the only girl who'd stammered into speech. "Do you ladies need something?"

"No, no!" she protested, blushing like a spring peach. "We just wanted..."

"...would you tell us again?" one of her friends chimed in.

"—how you fought off the serpent youkai?" finished the last one.

"Oh," Hojo's cheeks went just a little pink themselves. "I didn't really do much fighting. I mean, I had that bow that my friend Higurashi borrowed for me, but I only managed to hit one once, and it didn't even twitch! I was half scared out of my mind. You could probably get a better story out of Miroku over there."

The priest looked up and gave a quiet, slightly knowing smile. Then he looked back to his food.

"But would _you_ tell us?" Hanako asked again. She hadn't even looked away.

"If you like," Hojo agreed. "Would you please excuse me, Miroku? Kouga-san?"

As Hojo began to walk away, Shippo shifted the grip on his bowl and hopped into view. Kouga had paused in the middle of another dumpling. He gulped it down and stared frowningly at the human and his entourage, mouth flexing in a way that Shippo recognized: he was running his tongue over his fangs.

"Not that I care what a bunch of humans do..." Kouga trailed off. "...but that's not normal, is it?"

"Which part?" asked Shippo. "Most village girls like listening to stories, but the person telling them is usually—"

"That's enough, Shippo," Miroku forced another smile.

"He wasn't even boasting of his fighting skills," the wolf prince shook his head.

"I don't think he has any," Shippo supplied. "He was just telling the truth."

"Uncanny..."

Miroku suddenly turned to the wolf prince. "Would you like to go get drunk?"

"Okay."

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.

.

First, make sure the other person is really distracted.

Briana nodded. "Okay!"

"Ms. Rogers," protested Kurama, "this fiend is corrupting your children."

She shrugged back, "It's not so bad. Have you seen the stuff they learn from TV?"

Kurama's eyes narrowed. "Aren't you the one who suggested the 'K-Bane' apellation?"

"Yes, but she shortened it."


	25. Distracted

Kurama leaned down toward the cab window, "You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago," he told the driver.

I guess times are tough.

"I just want to get out of here."

Wait a minute.

Kurama hopped into the cab. "Not likely."

But you have a—

"Let's leave," he said to the driver. "Now."

See you later.

"If by me you mean my lawyer. I fully intend to replace that crayon restraining order with a real one within four business days."

You still have a—

"Goodbye"

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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"Then what happened, Hojo-san?"

"Did you hit the monster?"

"Well, Miss Hanako, the arrow got it right through to the back of its neck," he answered.

"So you killed it?" squeaked a third girl.

"No, Miss, that's just it. It wouldn't die! I was more afraid than I'd never been..." The rest of the conversation whittled away into the chatter of the thinning crowd. For some irritating reason, Hojo's eager voice seemed to stand out.

Kouga gave a snort, "That last one can't be older than thirteen," he muttered under his breath.

"What? Oh. Yes, disgusting," Miroku acknowledged noncommittally.

"What is it with him?"

Miroku made no response, staring down into his small cup of ... well he wasn't too sure what it was. It went down like lamp oil and tasted like feet, but Kouga hadn't made any complaints.

The monk held back a sigh. Mushin been an expert on women, but an absolute maven on more fluid matters.

_"The work of a holy man takes him to all kinds of places,"_ he remembered, _"the selection may be limited, but a persistent man can always find something. And that's true of many things, boy..."_

Kouga knocked back some more of the delightful local beverage. Miroku raised an eyebrow. Either the wolf youkai's own education had been quite limited, or he was more polite than he let on.

"It's not like I care what a bunch of human women find interesting. I mean, for all I know, your females have an extra row of teeth back there."

There was a silence. Kouga stared at the liquid in his cup.

"They don't."

"Thanks."

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.

.

Inuyasha jumped.

She'd been coming up behind him the whole time he'd been thinking? Inuyasha rubbed his face. He'd barely been able to sense Kouga in time to shred his scabby hide, and with the wolf's pungent B.O. that was no great feat. His nose hadn't been working right since...

Those reeking serpent youkai... Inuyasha stifled a growl. Their foulness still clung to his clothes, his hair, everything they'd touched. If it lingered much more, he might risk the wet dog jokes and take a bath.

Kagome teetered on one foot as she stepped over a root. Smiling, she dropped down next to him on the grass, and Inuyasha was reminded of what had gotten him so upset in the first place.

She wasn't missing.

She wasn't being eaten or hurt by some scavenger.

She wasn't off with Hojo or Kouga.

Which brought up the more direct issue:

"What are you doing sneaking up on me like that?"

"Sneaking up on you?" Kagome demanded. "Oh yeah. I'm sooooo scary! Careful or I'll get you with my mighty chopsticks and my bowl of rice."

Bowl of... Inuyasha looked at her folded arms, and realized why she'd been walking so gingerly. Kagome had her first-aid box tucked under one arm and was rather precariously cradling two stoneware bowls with something that smelled _very_ good. As much as he hated to concede Miroku anything... Slaying serpent youkai was hungry work.

Kagome blinked as Inuyasha's stomach gave a rumble. He tried to cover it with a growl. "What are you doing up here bothering me?" he demanded. "I told the monk I wanted to be left alone!"

"And Miroku told me that you were up here sulking by yourself and wouldn't come get dinner."

"Maybe I don't feel like eating," Inuyasha folded his arms. "And why are you looking at me like that?"

Kagome set her first-aid kit on the grass next to her leg. "I can have a look at your injuries now," she said. "Or you can eat something while it's still hot;" she handed him one of the bowls, picked up the other and began to eat.

_That stuff does smell pretty good..._ Inuyasha half-reached for the chopsticks. _Oh what the hell; I'm hungry._ He lifted the bowl and took a taste. _That Mrs. Mura probably made it for Hojo, for being soooo brave and bringing back her little puking brat grandson. Stupid ugly wimp of a— Wait a minute!_

"Hey whaddaya mean, my injuries? I'm fine!" he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. As if Kouga's puny kicks could do more than bruise. They'd be healed by the next morning.

"Yeah," Kagome was delicately finishing her meal, "but I know you got splattered with venom earlier today."

Venom? Kouga didn't have any— His eyes trailed down to the red welts from the fight with the serpent youkai.

"It's no big deal," he muttered. As loth as he was to admit it, he'd been hungry, and— "HEY!" he protested as his dish-bearing hand was jerked to the side

Kagome was swabbing it at one of the round welts with one of her antiseptic pads. The dog demon mumbled out a growl and leaned down to keep eating, twisting his head to the side.

Kagome twitched in disgust. "Can't you wait for one minute?" she insisted. "These need to be looked at!"

He gulped down the last of the food. "You were the one who wanted me to eat first!" Inuyasha scrunched at something caught in his teeth. His free hand was halfway to his mouth before he realized what he was doing.

_"And Hojo, you NEVER pick your teeth with your claws?!"_

The little twerp didn't even have to be around to spoil things. Inuyasha clenched his fist down next to his knee and winced at a tender spot on his ribs.

"Did Kouga do that?" Kagome asked softly, eyes following his movement.

"In his dreams, maybe," he snapped defensively, "And it's not like he isn't feeling some aches and pains!"

"You're right," she realized aloud, "I should probably have a look at him too!"

"What – no!" Inuyasha protested. "He's not that hurt. I mean he is, but he—"

Kagome let out a giggle. The dog demon scowled back at her. "They'll be healed by tomorrow anyway," he muttered, crinkling his nose at the acrid medicine smell. Kagome put down her swab and pulled out the dressings. Inuyasha wrinkled his nose. She just had to pick the ones that stuck and stung when he ripped them off.

"Ooooooh," she said softly. "That looks like it hurts."

Inuyasha humphed, tucking his wrist away. He only looked up when she didn't seem to notice. The dog demon frowned for a moment and realized that she wasn't looking at his wrist.

Those big, deep eyes were blinking roundly up at his ear, still aching and swollen from where Kouga had kicked it during the fight.

It was like watching someone teeter on the edge of a cliff. Kagome reached up, and gently, terribly gently, ran her fingers along the back of his injured ear.

Inuyasha's universe suddenly got very simple. There was the soothing, slightly puffy feeling of her skin against the velvet hairs, and there was everything else. _But..._ His hands lifted to her shoulder level and stopped, hesitating. Did he really have to push her back? She was just touching his ear, for fuck's sake. What would be so terrible if he let her? It wasn't as if they were doing anything ...anything _Miroku_ up here. It wasn't as if he were going to let his neck turn to jelly, and rub his ear against her palm.

"Inuyasha?" She was asking something. What was she asking?

"Hm?" the sound was too high, too stretched...

"Does it..." she paused to pull a breath in through her nose. She was taking in his scent... No, she was trying to say, "does it hurt?"

_No..._

Inuyasha moved his head to the side, giving just the first half of his answer. That sound came from his throat again. It was a better response anyway, more descriptive. It was...

And then he remembered what had happened last time. The dog demon managed to make his eyes open. He wasn't half-conscious on Kaede's floor this time, and he wasn't some ...some stupid lapdog for her to pet!

_But..._

Kagome's skin was smooth. Inuyasha found the pad of his thumb flush against her inner wrist. He pushed her hand away slowly, as if it were something very heavy, or very hard.

"Inuyasha?" her voice was quiet. "Is it— I mean, did I..." he watched her throat move as she swallowed, and rubbed his free sleeve against his mouth. At least he hadn't been drooling. Whining like a puppy, sure, he thought bitterly. Hadn't rolled over, either.

"I didn't think—I mean I..." Kagome was babbling, fingers twisting hard into her skirt, "Back at Kaede's, you just—" she swallowed hard, looking up at him as if she expected him to shout at her, "You seemed so ... happy."

Inuyasha's eyes shot up. She didn't ..._like_ it when he was like that, did she? Fawning and whimpering like a disobedient pup?

"You think I—" Inuyasha clamped his mouth shut at the catch in his voice. What the hell had happened to him? He cleared his throat. "You think—"

"It doesn't matter," she said, looking down. "I'm sorry."

She was—But she—Arrrrrgh!

"And it wasn't what I came up here to talk to you about anyway."

.

.

.

Hello.

"I think you know why I'm back," said Kurama.

You realized what I was trying to tell you?

"I did."

Flashback

Kurama bore down on the poufy-haired youth like a lion on a crippled antelope. "We have a matter to discuss, Kuwabara. I believe you have impersonated a notary public, and issued me a false restraining order and – what do you find so amusing?"

"I never thought you were that girly, Kurama," Kuwabara answered between chortles, "but what's with the butterfly barrette?"

Kurama blinked. "What?"

End Flashback

"But that's not why I'm back."

You missed my charming company. And you forgot your socks.


	26. Help

(bows to Nassau)

You are back for the contest winner's cameo!

"Surely you do not think I would endure your presence for that," protested Kurama.

Here are your socks.

"Thank you. Why are there pictures of me on foxy-bish . net?"

I put them there.

"I warned you not to sell my likeness on the internet."

That's why I traded it.

"Geeeaah!"

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

"What are you doing, Miroku?"

Kouga's eyebrow shot up. What did it look like the two of them were doing? _We're trying to get drunk enough to not care that you're trying to seduce my woman,_ the wolf demon glowered down at the cup in front of him. _And it's not working._

"Nothing of importance," the robed human gave his answer. "Won't you join—" the monk gave a choked twitch. "Why are you here?"

The boy from Kagome's village bit his lip. "I've been trying to think..."

"You hurt yourself?" muttered Kouga.

He half-expected the monk to shoot a glare in the whelp's defense. Stupid humans. It had to be these huts they built to sleep in, Kouga realized. A pack could tolerate a sniveling dung-breath in their midst if no one had to share his den at night. People who had to spend all winter in one lair together tended to send guys like Hojo out into the snow. Kouga shook his head. He'd had his fill of the boy after half a night. _This one's mother should have taken the hint before the midwives packed up and left._

"About what, Hojo?" the monk managed a level tone.

"I was wondering about the little guy," the human's eyes shifted, as if expecting something to jump out at him. "I was trying to understand..." he shook his head. "I still don't buy it, Miroku; I'm still sure he's—"

The whelp cut off as if struck. Kouga found his eyes drawn toward the priest, his mind condensing around the truth. No one had hit Hojo; Miroku was staring him down. Sure, there was no growling and the human didn't have any fangs worth baring, but other than that it was the same move that Kouga himself had used that time when Hakkaku'd "accidentally" kicked a wasps' nest at Ginta.

And the boy had _never – done it – again._

"Um!"

"Perhaps you should get to the point, Hojo," the monk insisted.

Kouga shook his head, feeling almost disappointed. _This isn't the fool-ass boldness that me and dog breath saw in the woods._

"I was trying to think about what you said about the lit—" Hojo caught Miroku's eyes, "—about Shippo," he answered. "And about Inuyasha, Kirara, and," Hojo nodded toward the wolf prince, "him."

"What about us?" Kouga demanded. The boy had managed to pique his curiosity. Inu-koro probably wasn't ready for another round, and this human drink wasn't doing anything for him, and he had to pass the time _somehow_.

"Well, they're here, aren't they?"

"Indeed..." answered the priest.

_Where is he going with this?_ Kouga's thoughts creased.

"Well," Hojo spread his hands, "where Higurashi and I are from, there aren't any!" Kouga's attention spiked, "I mean... she said that she and Inuyasha went up against a cursed mask, but it had been hiding out in a storage bin for a couple hundred years. Where'd they all _go_?"

"Fool," Kouga snorted into the tabletop. "If you think there are no youkai in your homeland, then you must be as blind as you are stupid." The wolf packs had always been, and would remain long after all Hojo's sniveling kind were gone. "Who do you think feasts on your bandits and wanderers? What do you think hunts in the woods and wastes between your settlements?"

"That's just it. We don't have those anymore."

Kouga snorted, trying to imagine the world as one long stretch of farms and villages from one seashore to the next. Impossible. "Liar," he answered.

Hojo's face darkened. "What did you just call me?" he demanded.

He felt the hint of a grin peel back from his fangs. Hojo had found his backbone again. Maybe he would get to fight some more tonight...

This was going to feel _so_ good.

"I said you're a—"

"And what are you up to?" his eyes jerked up. The human female, the one with the bodysuit and that giant boomerang that she used with such impunity... Kouga smothered a grimace. That stupid fox cub was perched on her shoulder.

"Nothing that important, Miss Sango."

"Kagome went looking for Inuyasha," the monk chimed. He pulled a bowl from somewhere and slid it across the table. "We saved you these," he offered flatly and took another swig of swamp water.

Kouga frowned at the last two dumplings perched innocently on a hunk of rice. How had he missed those? He blinked down at his own mug. Maybe this stuff was stronger that he'd thought...

"Thank you, Houshi-sama," the woman answered.

Kouga took a surreptitious sniff. The human's scent hadn't changed, much, and he supposed the tint in the monk's skin could have come from the local swill, but... ...then there was the way Miroku's eyes followed her graceful hands as she lifted the eating sticks and brought the food to her lips.

The wolf prince smothered a grin. At least there was one human around here who knew better than to make eyes at his woman.

Hojo's loud sigh interrupted his thoughts, "Aren't you going to ask her to sit down?"

Miroku didn't up from his drink. The female looked from Hojo to Miroku and back with the hint of a frown.

_Humans and their petty rules._ "What do you mean ask her to sit down?" Kouga took the matter to himself. "She's got legs, hasn't she?" he caught the a flash of mischief break the dullness on Miroku's face, "She doesn't need us to tell her when they're tired," he grumbled. _Kagome is more valuable than I thought if the rest of human women are THAT helpless._

The taijiya shrugged and sat down an arm's length away from Miroku. Hojo shook his head, making a small and useless noise.

"Tell me, Kouga," the monk cut off whatever Hojo had been about to say, "what exactly brings you to cross our path?"

Sango nodded, "As fond as you are of Kagome, something tells me that this wasn't a social call."

Kouga shrugged. No harm in telling it now, "I heard a rumor of serpent demons with shards of the Shikon Jewel. They're primitive things." Memories of building rock-traps as a cub floated to the front of his mind and the wolf prince enjoyed a feral grin, "little better than beasts. Even if the jewel could boost their speed and power, they're still stupid enough for me to kill on my own."

"Is something wrong, Miss Sango?"

Kouga turned to see the tufty-headed boy staring sincerely at the human woman. A tiny redness rose on her scrubbed face. The wolf prince flicked his eyes from the male to the female and back.

...and then to the crackling stormcloud hovering over the monk.

_Even the warrior? This fool IS dangerous!_

Kouga gave a cough and broke the silence with his story, "I found their den, ripped to shreds and reeking so badly that I couldn't even pick dog breath's scent out of the mix. I feared that Naraku had taken the jewels until I caught up with him in the forest." He gave a low chuckle, "Inu-koro finally gave me a decent fight, so I suppose the day isn't a total loss."

"How do you mean?" asked the monk.

"He finally started fighting like a demon," Kouga shrugged. "He must have pleased some higher power, 'cause no other way was he landing a blow on me."

A gasp from the human woman rippled through his enhanced hearing.

"Kouga, what did you say?"

Someplace inside himself, the same place that told him when to hang back and when to lunge, he knew that this was important.

"I said Inu-koro isn't smart enough to guess my moves without help!"

The next thing he knew, the human had grabbed the monk by one billowing sleeve and pulled him to his feet. Miroku swore lightly as his cup overturned.

"Something wrong, Miss Sango?" asked Hojo.

"We need to find Inuyasha and Kagome," Sango slapped her bowl down on the table. "_Now_."

.

.

.

"That wasn't what I came up here to talk to you about anyway," Kagome wrung her hands against the green pleats in her lap. She could still feel the warmth of his ear on her fingers, and the hint his claws against her wrist from when he'd pushed her away.

She pulled in a breath. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha."  
"Well you should be!" he shot back. "About what?"

"Inuyasha! I'm trying to be serious!"

The dog demon mumbled a "Keh!" as Kagome finished simmering. This wasn't the time to get angry, at least not at Inuyasha.

"I mean about Hojo."

He shot her a hard look over his shoulder. He took a step closer, jaw set as he fixed her with yellow eyes like agates. "You were right," she went on. "We should have left him with Kaede."

The dog demon's brow furrowed by a hair.

"He should have done what you told him to, Inuyasha. During the battle."

Something rippled in the shadows along his jaw. "You figured it out?"

Kagome watched her fingers curl in against her skirt. "It wasn't that hard." And she sounded so small...

Inuyasha took an audible breath and shifted closer. "What do you want me to do about it?" his voice was oddly intent.

Kagome looked up. "Do?" she repeated. "Inuyasha, that snake demon almost bit his head off. I think Hojo learned that he shouldn't play at being a hero any more." Something about the dog demon went perfectly still.

The moment passed and Inuyasha pressed one hand against his eyes, "You mean you—" he gave a short laugh.

What was he upset about? She was trying to have a real talk and all he could thing about was ... Oooooooh!

"Don't worry," she hissed between her teeth, "I won't go back on my end of the deal. If Hojo gets home in one piece, I wont use Kaede's spell on you for ten days." Even if Inuyasha didn't care if an innocent boy lived or died, she still owed it to him to keep her promises.

He was shaking his head and murmuring into the dark, "Kagome, how can you be so..."

She leaned closer, "What?"

"..._good?_" he demanded.

"Um..."

"Oh never mind," Inuyasha pulled his hand away from his face, "So what you care about," he let his shaggy bangs fall in front of his eyes, "is still getting Hojo home safely?"

"Not just Hojo," she protested. "He almost got Shippo killed. Just because he didn't mean it doesn't make it okay."

"Yeah..." Inuyasha muttered, looking up. "Shippo. Where'd you leave him, anyway?"

Kagome blinked, "What?"

"Where'd – you leave – the brat?" he pieced out, "Don't tell me you dropped him by himself."

"Inuyasha..." she tried wrap her mind around the sternness in his gaze. "We've always let Shippo look after himself once we reached a village. He's not a baby." Inuyasha huffed inexplicably. Kagome ran her teeth across her bottom lip. Since when did he care, anyway? "There's nothing that could hurt him here."

Kagome was totally unprepared for the lash against the grass. Inuyasha growled out the beginnings of a word.

"I left him by Sango!" the words were out of her before she knew she'd drawn breath.

"In the village?"

Kagome nodded, stricken. She let out a gasp as Inuyasha grabbed her arm. "Come on," he growled, and started down the slope.

"What's gotten into you?" she half-tripped trying to keep up.

"I thought you figured it out, Kagome."

His grip on her arm was getting painful, "Figured _what out?_"

"_Never mind,_" he hissed. "So Shippo's in the village." Inuyasha shook his head. "I wouldn't need to ask if my nose was working right," he grumbled. "It's those fucking snake demons! If it were any worse I'd have to take a bath."

"Well, Inuyasha, that's not such a bad—" she choked on the words as he stopped short halfway down the slope.

Kagome's eyes widened in the dim as she searched his face. Both ears were flicking back and forth. His nose crinkled... A low, violent growl started from nothing in his throat.

"Someone's here."

.

.

.

"Kuwabara was doing a school project on foxes," explained Kurama.

What did he think of my work?

"He had many choice opinions. His gets his stitches removed on Wednesday." Kurama looked up, frowning, as a cab pulled into view.  
She is here! She is here!

"Another contest winner to torment me?" he asked.

You want to meet her.

"No I don't. And tell me, for what did you trade my image?"

Almaseti exited the cab with a confident, "Hi!"

Hello Almaseti. Here is a $50 gift certificate to 


	27. Opponent

"You have not yet explained why I would want to meet Miss Almaseti," said Kurama.

She won the contest.

"Never mind. You have admitted to benefitting from the unauthorized use of my likeness, not to mention the deliberate defamation of placing pictures of me on that website."

She's very nice.

"Thank you," interjected Almaseti.

"I do not wish to see you or any of your deranged friends again," insisted Kurama, "with the exception, perhaps, if I am required to testify at your civil or criminal trial, and any parole hearings."

"There will be no such trials," said Almaseti.

You should listen to her.

"Because she is so very nice?"

And she's my lawyer.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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.

.

"What is it, Sango?" the priest got to his feet. Other than a flash of relief – _Probably that I'm not too drunk to stand,_ he realized bitterly – there were no answers on her face.

"We left Inu-koro on the hillside by the north edge of the village," Kouga folded his arms, "What do we need him for, anyway?"

"Tell me," Sango commanded. "You have tracked serpent youkai. What is it about them that sets them apart from other prey?"

"The stench," he answered darkly, his deceptively human nose crinkling up.

"And?"__

"They are poisonous," the monk gave a guess.

"No, Miroku."

Kouga scratched his chin, "They don't have any feet?"

Sango slapped her free hand across her eyes.

_Sango is rarely wrong when it comes to youkai opponents._ Miroku worried,_ If she is agitated, then there is surely something wrong._

"They're ...dumb?" asked Hojo.

Miroku rolled his eyes. That couldn't possibly be what she was trying to—

"Right!"

The monk squelched a squeak.

Sango turned toward the boy, "But this serpent leader went for Kagome first. We were so focused on retrieving Mrs. Mura's grandson that we forgot that the jewel shards were its first target. It took the child to make us follow!"

"It grabbed the kid because it was hungry, exterminator," Kouga answered in a half-confused growl.

"Yes," Sango allowed, "but the way we saw those creatures move, it could have escaped us at any time. The serpent leader kept us in sight, in hearing of the boy's cries. It was leading us into a place where its brothers could attack."

"That couldn't have been how it happened," Kouga tossed his head arrogantly, "Serpent youkai aren't smart enough to do those things."

Miroku's mind went brilliantly cold. "That's just what she's been saying," he realized aloud. "Snake demons can't do any of the things we've seen them do."

Sango nodded, "Not without help."

.

.

.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked.

He didn't answer, a ghost of white hair in the limited moonlight. Both ears flicked, nose crinkling uselessly as he scanned the undisturbed horizon.

There was something wrong. There had to be. Kagome wrapped her free arm around her stomach. There was an icky feeling in the air, almost like a—

"A dark aura," she realized more than said.

"Which direction?" he demanded quietly.

"I can't tell!"

Inuyasha swore again, one hand tightening on Tetsusaiga's hilt. "I still can't get a scent," he growled into the dim, "not that I need to."

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.

.

"Help?" Kouga's thoughts turned dark.

Jewel shards. Jewel shards, traps, innocent casualties...

"You mean Naraku," he growled. "I would have caught his scent if him or one of his blasted puppets was here. Do you think he planted a trap and left?"  
"I don't know," the exterminator shook her head. "Something about this doesn't seem quite his style."

"It is Naraku's nature to recruit less sophisticated demons to do his dirty work," agreed the monk, "but something about this scheme is lacking in complexity, unless..."

"Unless there is some part of it which has yet to come into play," finished the warrior.

.

.

.

"I don't suppose you remembered to bring your arrows," Inuyasha asked bitterly.

Kagome shook her head. Not that a bow would be much good out here anyway. The darkness had grown thicker while they'd talked; Kagome found her reference points whittled down to some straggling lamplight at the bottom of the hill and the clawed grip on her arm.

But she could hear the air as one leaf hit against the next. They'd left the trees. And there was the aura, the sickening aura that was somehow familiar. The feeling built and—

"Over there!"

"I see it!" Inuyasha released her arm to meet the attack, the sheen from the transforming Tetsusaiga illuminating the face of their opponent.

.

.

.

"Style? Sophisticated?" Kouga fumed, twin whirlwinds kicking up around his ankles. "Argue all you want! Kagome's out there and I'm going to bring her back!"

"He has a point," Hojo pleaded as he ran off. "Is Higurashi in danger?"

"Not if Inuyasha is with her," Miroku answered truthfully. "Still, we should follow," he nodded to Sango, "and be ready for anything." He steadied his hands on his staff, feeling the beads that held back Kazaana against his palm. If this matter was in any way involved with Naraku, then the air rip would most likely be useless...

"Alright," Hojo's voice was resolute, "let's go."

"You are not coming."

"What?"

"Houshi-sama is right," said Sango. She plucked the kitsune cub from her shoulder. "Stay here and watch the village with Shippo."

"No!" Miroku looked up to see that Shippo had shouted at the same time.

"I don't wanna stay behind if Kagome's in trouble!" protested the kit.

"Miroku," Hojo's voice dropped. "It would be alright, really."

_I do not believe you_.

There was a sound of a clash, and then a cry.

"Never mind it," he cast his eyes into the dimness and began to run, "We don't have time left to argue."

.

.

.

The wolf prince skidded to a halt halfway up the rise.

_That scent!_ it came to him at once. _No wonder I didn't catch it before. The reek of those damn rock-worms was masking it!_

He flicked his gaze toward the trees and caught sight of Inu-koro. He'd backslid into using that damn fang again. Kouga shook his head. He could make out Kagome a few feet behind the dog demon, who was jerking his head in one direction after another, as if he expected the next attack to come from anywhere. The wolf prince followed after them, frowning into the grayscale night.

Inu-koro probably couldn't see even this well, and Kagome would be all but blind.

Should he shout out to them? It would be just like that stupid mutt to jump in and attack him when all he was trying to do was save his lame dog-reeking ass and protect Kagome from whatever—

Something all but materialized in the shadows behind the human girl, something that cast a razor-cutting volley toward her neck.

Inu-koro was behind her, blocking it with the sword before a heartbeat had passed.

Kouga reached him in half that.

The sound ripped from his throat and bled scarlet into black.

"Kagura!"

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.

.

"I am afraid you have no grounds to sue, Mr. Kurama," said Almaseti.

"She traded my likeness for an item of material value," he pointed out.

No I didn't.

"Then how did you get that $50 gift certificate?" asked Kurama.

I gave them $50.


	28. Back to Life

(Bows to Nightstalker)

"Alright," said Kurama, "I'll drop the restraining order, but you must retrieve every one of those illegal images. I want the negatives."

Okay.

"And every stitch of clothing that you've stolen."

Umm...

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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.

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"Kagura!"

The wolf boy?

She fought down the eddies in her heart. It didn't disrupt the plan. It only meant that there would be two more jewel shards for her to collect.

"Get out of the way, wolf turd!"

"This bitch is mine, Inu-koro! She slaughtered my kin!"

Kagura chuckled softly. Was he still upset about that? She clicked her fan to one side and a well-timed volley knocked both demons tumbling in the brush.

"You two should pay more attention!" she admonished. No, she could definitely handle two ruffian dog-warriors instead of one.

"Inuyasha!"

Ah? Yes, the girl with the sacred arrows. Kagura allowed herself a tight smirk. Even with a full quiver on her back, the girl's mortal eyes were next to useless in this limited light.

The wolf demon flipped to his feet. Kagura felt her fingers shift on the bones of her fan.

"Ready to play with me now?" she called out, face lighting in a memory, "Let's see if you're as good of a dancer as your friends!"

Kouga roared something that might have been her name and leaped.

It was seamless, the way he drew the Shikon's power into his own. The wolf demon's movements were so smooth that Kagura almost missed how fast he was really moving. Kagura ducked away in time for the sleeve of her robe to slap his face. Kouga snarled and lunged again.

And all before the half-dog could get up off his knees. Kagura felt the air churn around her and smiled darkly. So much for the wind scar. If Inuyasha wanted her blood, he'd have to draw it with his nails on her skin.

"Stay where you are, Kagome!" came an oddly double-throated shout. Kagura frowned. Kouga paused in his assault.

"Quit copying me, dog breath!"

"Quit copying _me!_"

_Of all the..._ Kagura narrowed her eyes and sent them each a blast of the wind blades.

She'd forgotten how much fun this could be! It had been so long since Naraku had let her off that damned short leash.

"Bitch!" Kouga recovered quickly and came for her throat. Kagura drove the winds again and forced him back.

Kagura's eyes flicked to the gleaming glass at the arrow-girl's throat.

...how much time was left until dawn?

"A good thing help is coming," the wind sorceress smiled and readied her next blast.

.

.

.

"That Kouga guy is right! We should go help!"

"You're staying here!" they shouted at once.

Miroku looked up at Sango. She blushed a bit, but didn't turn her eyes away.

"But I can—"

"Stay out of the way this time, Hojo-san."

"No! I'm going to help!"

"You can't help," Miroku abandoned diplomacy. There was no time for coddling.

"I can bring Higurashi's bow; she'll need it," Hojo countered. "And I've got this thing," he stuck a thumb under the cord at his throat. "I don't know if it's any good, but—"

"Listen to me, Hojo!" Miroku grasped the front of the boy's shirt. He paused for only a second. What could he tell this stupid kid to make him sit on his fucking ass for once? _He has not the wit to stay alive. What the hell is this moron afraid of?_

_ "But I get this chill in my heart! Like someone's walking over my grave!"_

_"Where Higurashi and I are from, there aren't any. Where'd they all go?"_

A memory came back... A cavern with Midoriko's stone shell, and the words of a brave woman he'd barely met.

"You wanted to know why there are so many demons in this land? They came with the wars, with the shedding of human blood; they feed on death!"

"They do?" Hojo blinked, shoulders going straight. "That almost makes sense; I think I—"__

Miroku lashed out with his staff and rapped the boy on the forehead. Hard. Hojo landed on his back in the dust.

"Houshi-sama!"

He didn't look up, "I promise Sango," he told her, "that you may strike me all you wish once our friends are safe. Now—" he snatched the lamp from off the table.

Sango's eyes lingered on Hojo for a moment, but at last she nodded gravely.

"You may need to come with us after all, Shippo. We'll need more light," he told the kitsune as they moved. "Can you manage?"

"Uh huh..." the kit's voice was thin. "Is it really Naraku up there?"

"We'll see soon, won't we?" Miroku cast his eyes down on the unconscious Hojo. The boy's face had shown a glint of intelligence during the split-second before the monk had hit him. ...almost as if he'd figured out some great puzzle.

_And why does THAT thought disturb me?_ he shook it off as Sango swung hiraikotsu onto her shoulder and headed hard after Kouga. _I dearly hope that was enough to occupy him for a while,_ he thought, struggling to keep up,_ If he interferes again, he might—_

Hiraikotsu snagged and the shoulder of Sango's yukata began to tear.

_HEL-lo..._

.

.

.

"Shippo, _again!_"

The tiny kitsune was trembling like a leaf.

"Shippo!" she heard Kagome whisper.

"_Fox fire!_"

The flare came just in time, and Sango pulled hiraikotsu cleanly from the air and sent it sailing off again, blinking back spots. This way of fighting was beyond foolhardy, but it was better than getting sliced in two by her own weapon.

A pity these cursed beasts couldn't be blinded. ...at least not more than they were already.

At her elbow, Inuyasha gave another snarl, and Sango couldn't blame him. They'd gotten turned around so many times that she could barely tell which direction led back to the village, and even with Inuyasha, Miroku, Kirara and herself forming a loose ring around Kagome and Shippo, there had been too many near-misses. The creatures struggled and lurched for the jewel shards at her throat with a single-mindedness that reflected no pain, fear, thought or self.

And they weren't the only ones.

"Wench!" Kouga all but shrieked as another of Kagura's minions blocked his claws. "Stop hiding behind these reeking worms!"

If the wind demoness had an answer, it was lost in the snarling yell off to her left. Sango half-dove to the side to avoid the mess of blade and fangs as Inuyasha lunged in front of her and struck the snake demon's head from its body.

Bad enough that the giant serpents moved like air on earth, bad enough that their scales could turn a blade, bad enough that their scent made Inuyasha and Kouga gag—

With a wail from the unnatural wind, the creature's head reattached itself to the neck and reared back as the whiplike tail lashed and drew blood.

"_Fox fire!_" the world flared back to life in time for Sango to catch her weapon and send it off again, at Kagura this time.

The elemental's eyes flashed and one dark-scaled demon sent hiraikotsu spinning off into the lethal air. Sango stifled a curse and drew her blade, blinking as the uncanny light faded.

It seemed that dead serpent youkai were easier to control than dead wolves.

"Give me the jewel shards," called Kagura, "and I will let you leave alive."

"Never, bitch!" answered Kouga from somewhere off to the right. There was a scrape of wolf-claws against scales, a rush of air and another laugh from the wind sorceress.

"Who do you think you're speaking for, wimpy wolf?!"

"Inuyasha," Miroku answered from behind them, "perhaps this is not the best time to—"

"They failed to take the shards from you when they were alive," the voice floated out of the turbulent air; they won't now that I guide them with my own hand."

"Then Naraku did set this trap?" Miroku accused as he strained against his staff. Sango half-shook her head. Something about it didn't ring true...

"_Fox fire!_" Shippo sent up another plume, and Sango saw a darkness flash across the elemental's face.

"Give me the shards!"

Something began to stir in her mind. Kagura, Naraku, the four resurrected snake demons...

"Go back to your master, wench!" hissed Kouga. "If you can still move!"

Shippo gave a gasp and the light died. The taijiya sucked in a breath and turned her head uselessly toward the battling demons. There was a yowl from Kirara and a sound of cloth tearing, and—

"Sango!" called Inuyasha.

The breath shot out of her lungs as she felt her body hit the earth. Something gave an evil crack.

"_Fox fire!_"

The exterminator shifted to roll back to her feet, taking in as much as she could. Kagura was clutching her sleeve and glaring at the snarling Kouga. Miroku still struggled with the snake against his staff. Kagome was holding Shippo as he struggled to keep the area lit. Inuyasha was staring down at her, and she—

Sango held back bile as the motion jarred her left arm.

The dog demon turned away to beat back the poison-scaled serpent.

_Gods... It... It could have been my neck..._ Sango stared down at the two smoking gashes in her skin. _Hold together,_ she told herself, _it was not my sword arm; I can still—_

"Higurashi?"

The world stopped.

There he was. There the wide-faced stupid fool was, carrying Kagome's quiver, not ten feet away from the violent hell-beast of Naraku's making.

"Hojo?" breathed Kagome.

"Hojo-san!"

"What the fuck?"

"Fucking goddamn moron shit-for-brains son of a—" the monk cut off at Sango's stare.

"Higurashi, I think I know why the—"

A hand closed around a throat and Hojo's feet lifted off the ground, his own bodyweight pressing on the blood vessels in his neck.

Sango could hear some sound come from the girl behind her, and knew they were words, but...

"You came to the wrong place, human," for some reason, she could hear Kagura just fine. "Any last words, fool?"

Hojo seemed to gulp and actually nodded.

Sango's heart seized. _What is he..?_

"Your—" Hojo's first word caught in Kagura's fist as he met the demoness, unblinking. "Your world's going to end."

.

.

.

"What is it?" demanded Kurama.

Um...

"What did you do with my garments? Sell them on eBay again?"

No.

"Give them to another one of your stability-challenged friends?"

No.

"Use them to train kitsune-cidal demonhounds?"

That would work?

"No."

Okay. ...no.


	29. Master Plan

"Where are my garments?" demanded Kurama.

Done at three.

"What?"

I sent them out.

"To where?"

A laundry service. I thought you'd want them washed before you took them back.

"No! I was— washed?"

Washed.

"As in," he asked carefully, "purified from the touch of your demented hands?"

Exactly. But with fabric softener.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

There was something uncanny in those eyes. No fear, no malice... They were completely empty.

"What did you say?" Kagura warned.

The human only choked and she reluctantly relaxed her grip enough for his toes to graze the earth. There was a sound of footsteps behind her. Kagura raised her fan and sent another volley. The wolf prince cursed and sprawled into a pair of fangs.

"I ... said ..."

_Your world's going to end._

Kagura felt a new darkness in her heart. Could this human see the future?

"... you're ..."

Somewhere off to the left, her serpent puppets were entertaining Inuyasha and the firecat. Sango and Miroku were useless except in brief bursts when the kitsune could light their way. And speaking of useless... The girl in the middle, with blind and searching eyes, and a bright collection of jewel shards around her neck. The wind sorceress made a slashing motion with her hand, and the snake demons eased up on the two human fighters to focus on the Kagome and her prize.

There was a sliver of a chance that Naraku would forgive her for losing three jewel shards, even under these circumstances, but if she slew one of his precious toys before he'd finished playing?

"... going to ..."

Kagura's thoughts stopped short as the human struggling against her grip gave a twist.

"... leave Kagome _alone!_" he finished.

The next thing Kagura knew, he'd twisted half out of her grasp and dropped the quiver. The elemental was fingering the soft spot on her face before the arrows spilled into the grass.

A wind volley shoved him back, "Thatwas it?" she demanded of the gasping human. "_That_ was what you were building up to? That was your master plan?" she shrugged mockingly as he rubbed his throat with one hand. "Wolf boy! Your taste in associates has gone sour!"

The human looked up. "Oh give me a break; I've never hit a girl before."

The wolf boy looked away from his scaly opponent long enough to grunt something that probably had to do with this foolish human's parentage or personal habits.

"I hope you savored the experience," Kagura beckoned, and the smallest serpent youkai turned its crushed skull toward the sprawling stranger. "It will be one of your last!"

_I have to finish this_, she thought with as much firmness as she could stand. _Get what I came for and get out_. Another of her demon minions lunged past Inuyasha and there was a high-pitched, female scream.

"Kagome!"

_Before he can make Kanna see for him again!_

Something gave a gleam.

The wind sorceress paused. Something was glinting from between the fingers at the prophet's throat, something that Kagura recognized very well.

Power.

The human looked up, fingers closing around the pulsing amulet. He hadn't been protecting his half-crushed neck; he'd been trying to hide it from her.

Power had been the point of all this.

"Don't..." the human managed as the wind sorceress bore down on him like a storm toward the harbor. "Don't take it from me..."

His other hand closed around the necklace, as if flesh and bone could hide its pulsing point from her view. Unknown talisman, shard of the Shikon, alliance with a Demon Lord; it was all about power.

And only power could set her free.

_Whatever this feeling is, it's new._ Kagura mused as she struck the human across the face and pried his hands away from his neck. _And if I've never seen it before, then perhaps Naraku hasn't either..._

"Don't!"

Kagura's fist closed around the clear stone.

.

.

.

He could have sworn he'd covered it. Hadn't moved his attention for a second. Like he gave a fuck what the stupid human was talking about with Kagura!

But even so, one of the wind demon's slithering pawns shot past him, filling his world with her scream.

He remembered the sting of venom on his wrists. Healed and gone already, but to a human...

"Kagome!"

Tetsusaiga swung out and down, slow as a razor through a wound. Why wouldn't the damned thing just move? From the corner of his eye he could see her face, even slower than he was, eyes searching uselessly in the dark. No way in hell she'd make it out of the way...

The blade sheared the shriveled scales, parted dead flesh, and hit bone.

There was a wet thud as the beast's head hit the grass and its broken tail convulsed. Only a minute before Kagura had it superglued and back in their hair again. Inuyasha couldn't let his eyes off of it for a second, not a heartbeat, not a—

His knees hit the ground as he touched her shoulder with one hand.

"Kagome?"

Somewhere behind him, something spoke, "...take it from me!"

"Kagome are you all—" she began to nod, Shippo struggling in her death grip. "—right? You stupid girl! You should be more—"

The world erupted somewhere behind his ears, breaking loose in fire and screams.

_Fire rat. Made of the fire rat._

Inuyasha ducked forward, deathly glad that Kagome hadn't been carrying anything sharp, though Shippo squirmed liked a panicked rat and probably tried to bite him more than once.

The flames seethed and swirled, filling the clearing, his ears, his tight-shut eyes as it caught on the evil air. Inuyasha wondered blankly if fire rat fur could protect them from an unholy storm of demon wind and unknown flames.

Both died down.

Inuyasha lifted his head in time to hear a clear, slightly scolding voice:

"I did warn you..."

.

.

.

Sango lifted her head.

_Why wasn't I burned? It doesn't make any – damn it!_ Sango jumped back, raising her blade in defense against the blue-scaled apparition hovering not three feet from her face. A split second passed, and she realized with an unsettling relief that it wasn't moving.

"What the hell was that?" Kouga's voice pierced her concentration. "No matter," he growled. "Kagura's blood is owed for my fallen comrades!"

From the corner of her eye, Sango could just make out the wolf demon's silhouette. "Shippo!" she insisted. "Light, Shippo, we need light."

"_Fox fire!_"

On her right, Miroku finally pushed free of his oddly vacant blue-scaled attacker and crushed its neck with his staff.

_It didn't even flinch! _Sango realized sickly, then pulled in a breath, _They can't all attack at once! Kagura controls them like puppets, and cannot let her hands sit idle._

The wind flared up again almost as suddenly as it had gone, in time to send Kouga flying. Sango parried the blue serpent's half-controlled strike as the light died down again.

"Did you think that these petty flame tricks could hold me for long, human?" Kagura's snarl seethed into the thick air.

There was a struggled cry that could only have come from—

"Hojo!" cried Kagome.

"What the fuck are you worried about h— Shit!"

There was a serpentine hiss and the sound of steel on air on flesh. There was a sickening squish and the dog demon's smirking grunt.

"I can bring them back more quickly than you can rip them apart. You will tire; I will not!"

"_Fox fire!_"

Sango's eyes cleared just as Inuyasha's freshly-decapitated snake demon re-formed and reared back, moving rapidly toward where Kagura had pinned Hojo to the ground. The wind sorceress' hair and clothes were badly singed, but the blades of her fan fluttered back and forth, pulling the serpents in time with the unholy air as Shippo's flash began to fade.

"If I can't take the talisman from you, then I'll take it from my minion's belly!"

"_Guys!_" came a high-pitched male yell.

_Don't be a fool, Hojo-san! Just run!_

"Fox fire!"

Sango held in a gasp. Hojo had managed to get upright. The human's mouth worked noiselessly as the serpent youkai reared back to strike. Hojo seemed to cast his eyes about for something and finally snatched up a clublike branch from the ground. He took a swing and missed pitifully.

There was an odd silence on her left as the dog demon shifted his feet.

"Do I—"

The monk sighed. "Yes, Inuyasha, you have to."

The dog demon sighed loudly, hefted Tetsusaiga and headed off.

Kagura's fan clicked and a second serpent moved to head him off.

Something crystallized in Sango's mind.

"Miroku, the wind tunnel!"

"But Sango," Shippo shrilled the question that she could see in the monk's face. "She's Naraku's incarnation! She'll have brought the poisonous insects!"

Kagura's head jerked in their direction for half a second.

"Just trust me," she insisted at Miroku. "Do it!"

Shippo lit another flare.

Kouga struggled dazedly to his feet.

Inuyasha ducked a strike from the serpent.

Kagura's eyes darkened. The monk unsealed the air rip, and one unnatural storm became two. Sango felt her breath catch, half-ready to be wrong. She looked to Miroku. What if...

The wind sorceress gave an angry cry and cast two of the serpent youkai between herself and the portal into nothing, their lifeless tails thrashing at the air as they were sucked inside.

Shippo squeaked and the darkness closed in. "Careful!" Miroku lashed the rosary around his palm. "Shippo!"

The kitsune gave an exhausted whimper, "I can't..."

"But if I can't see, I might pull one of you into the wind tunnel!"

"Shippo..." Kagome's whisper slipped away in the dark.

"Fox... _Fox fire!_"

Another blast, weak, but enough to see by. Enough to see Kagura's two remaining allies dropping numbly to the grass, and enough to see a feather the size of a lady's mare, with a single rider, slipping away into the starless night.

.

.

.

_The monk!_

Kagura cursed the monk, cursed Naraku for making his enemies so powerful.

_I should have known he would try this. The blasted fool always tries._

The beads were loosening on his outstretched hand. Kagura cast her eyes to the boy with the fire stone, the girl with the jewel shards... She had to leave with something of power!

Power had been the point. The power of the Shikon jewel was what had enabled Naraku to create incarnations, to kill or reabsorb them at will It was his power that kept her heart in his hand.

...that allowed him to choose the night of his monthly regeneration.

It was why she'd found this nest of serpent youkai, guided their violence in stolen moments when Kanna's attention was elsewhere. It was the reason for the timing, how she'd waited for the rumors to boil, to convince someone with jewel shards that this was the place to get more, and to stay until Naraku's monthly regeneration left her free to move. The snake demons hadn't been empty enough for her to manipulate completely, but their near-mindlessness had left her plenty of room to make "suggestions."

Like the perfect place for an ambush. Like the perfect way to lure a party of hunters.

...like the use of three jewel shards, stolen from Naraku at the beginning of his weak time.

Kagura forced her mind to calm. ...and forced two of the blasted worms in between her and the air chasm. There was only one power she needed now.

_Escape!_

This plan had failed, but there would be others.

Kagura looked over the edge of her feather as the fox-child lit the area again. The strange human was dusting himself off, looking around helplessly.

_My world's going to end..._

And why should that thought give her hope?

_Naraku is the rotten core of my world, _she thought coldly._ If that is this doomsayer's end, then I welcome it_.

.

.

.

"Actually, yes," admitted Kurama, "I was going to have my boxers laundered before wearing them again."

Ha ha! I guessed right! Now what do you say?

"Do not tempt me."

C'mon!

"Very well," he stifled a sigh, "'Thank you.'"

You are welcome.

There was a pause.

Do I get a kiss?

"No!"


	30. Moment of Clarity

Kurama checked his watch.

Not much longer.

"They're late. I want to collect my belongings and leave this place."

Pie?

"No."

It's yummy.

"The last time you offered me food, Hiei ended up in the emergency room," he pointed out.

Not my fault he didn't read the label.

"But you..."

That fruitcake was covered in strawberry decals. A person living with an allergy needs to take some self-responsibility.

"...you actually have a point."

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

"Eeep!" Hojo ducked a clawed swipe.

"Come back here!" Kouga turned on his good leg and chased after him at a speedy limp.

"I said I was sorry!"

"Human weakling!"

"You were just too close to the blast!"

"And you're close to your last breath!"

Miroku didn't look up. After Kagura had fled the battle, Kagome had insisted on checking everyone's injuries, and for that she'd needed more light. The innkeepers had left a few torches burning outside, and here and there a lamp lingered from the impromptu feast. Kouga could chase – and preferably catch – the ugly moron all he wanted; the monk was much more interested in the tedious but welcome task of wrapping a bandage around Sango's lovely skin.

...and in the fact that she hadn't noticed that tear in her yukata yet.

"I swear I can't control this thing!" Hojo jabbed a thumb at his talisman as he dodged.

"Grrr! Then how'd you know it would work at all?" Kouga's claws snagged Hojo's shirt, which ripped as the human jumped back.

"It did it before when Inuyasha tried to steal it from me. I thought that if I got her to— Oof!" the wolf demon managed to cuff the boy across the chin.

"Got you!"

CRACK!

"Ow!" Kouga cringed.

Sango sniffed and slung hiraikotsu back to its place on her shoulder, moving gingerly to favor her injured left arm.

"Sango," the monk said with a level calmness as he readjusted the last layer of gauze, "please try not to move."

"Forgive me, Houshi-sama—"

_Forgiven. Just shift your chest a little to the –thank you._ The rip in her dress gaped welcomingly.

"—but some things must be resolved with action."

CRACK!

With the ease of long practice, Miroku blinked the stars out of his reeling vision. ...perhaps she had noticed the rip after all.

Kouga, not quite so familiar with Sango's choice of resolution, was still rubbing his abused forehead. Miroku held back a chuckle. Kouga always made a point of saying – in as loud a voice as possible – that demon healing powers were much _much_ better than half-demon healing powers, but Inuyasha had escaped the battle largely unscathed, and Kouga...

_Well..._ Miroku watched Hojo finger the bruise forming on his chin. A healthy Kouga would have caught him easily and hurt him more, _this young man has a snake demon and a couple of burns to thank for the fact that he still has the right number of arms._

The wolf demon snapped at Sango, "Be careful with that chunk of wood, wench!"

"Don't call her names!" scolded Hojo.

Kagome nodded in agreement. "Now will you hold still and let me take a look at you, Kouga?"  
With only a little less grace than usual, the wolf prince flew to his feet and clasped her hands in both of his, eyes going uncannily limpid.

_Ordinarily, Kouga lacks finesse, but I would love to know how he manages that one,_ Miroku admitted appreciatively.

"Only if I can return the favor, my dear Kagome..." purred Kouga. "My injuries can wait."

"Um!"

"Then you don't need to be so close to Kagome, wimpy wolf!" Inuyasha materialized in between them, shoving Kouga back by his shoulders. "Back off!"

"Inuyasha!" Kagome snapped. "Don't push Kouga while he's hurt!"

"Don't worry, Kagome," Kouga reassured her. "I could take this lowly mutt even if I'd lost three limbs!"

Inuyasha answered with a snarl, "With the shape you'll be in when I'm through, we'll be able to find out!"

"Any time, dog breath!"

"You're on!"

"Sit!"

"Goowf!"

"You!" Kagome grabbed Kouga by one pointed ear, earning a surprised squeak from the wolf. "Hold still!"

"Kagome, what are you—"

The girl's fingers tightened and she twisted hard.

"_Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!_ I'll hold still! I'll hold still!"

"Good!" Kagome pushed Kouga toward the bench where he and Miroku had so spectacularly failed to get drunk.

The wolf demon made a half-pitiful noise in the back of his throat and began to rub at his abused ear. Kagome's face got a little pinker than could be accounted for by torchlight alone, and ducked her head guiltily. Moving much more gently, she reached out toward the side of Kouga's head.

Miroku smiled, glad of the dim light, _"Don't be afraid to play on a woman's sympathies,"_ he remembered Mushin saying once._ "You'll be surprised how many different interpretations there are of the expression 'kiss it better.'"_ Miroku held in a contented sigh. He'd actually managed to apply that one to a lady or two. Good times!

He turned his head and caught sight of Sango telling Hojo not to worry about the cut that Kouga had left on his chest. The monk's mood soured.

A female squeak diverted his attention. Kagome's hand was frozen half a hair away from Kouga's ear. Her eyes got very big. Miroku frowned in amazement as she sent a quick glance toward Inuyasha and turned her pretty cheeks even pinker.

For his part, the dog demon met her wide-eyed blush and raised her a backswept pair of ears. The two of them froze like that for a moment, then both looked away, Kagome clapping both hands together in her lap.

"So!" Kagome clicked open her first aid kit, "Kouga, ah... Where does it hurt?"

"Huh?" was the scalded wolf demon's response.

Miroku had to concur. Inuyasha had just seen Kagome not-give Kouga a comforting if disappointingly platonic gesture. He should have been smirking and glowering, not blushing like some virgin dairymaid.

No... He should have been raving and sulking because Kagome _should_ have made the gesture in the first place. She'd been reaching for Kouga's ear, not his—

A memory surfaced in Miroku's mind.

_"I thought Inuyasha was a pet! What with the collar thing and the ear-scratching thing..."_

Miroku's frowned deepened and he cast an involuntary look at Hojo, and then at Inuyasha.

There was something funny going on.

.

.

.

"Do they always make you wait outside while they get ready for bed?" asked the wolf prince.

"Girls like their privacy," suggested Hojo.

"I was talking to dog breath, peon." Kouga slapped one hand over his eyes. "I can't believe I said that."

The dog demon only snorted and shrugged further against the inn wall. Kagome had looked right at him and then pulled her hand away. Why? Why should she be ashamed of touching Kouga on the ear? –not that Wolf Turd had any business getting touched by her at all... There was nothing—nothing _wrong_ with a girl touching a guy's ear after she'd nearly ripped it off his head, was there?

His guts soured. Not unless it made him whimper and whine like a crippled puppy. No wonder she'd pulled back after looking at him. Who'd want another display of that kind?

But then... On the rise, right before Kagura had made that grand entrance...

_"You seemed so ... happy."_

Happy on his back like a senile old tortoise?

_What the hell is she thinking?_

"Now there's no need to be rude, Kouga. And you did ask a question."

The wolf's eyes darkened, "You are sorely testing my patience."

Shippo hopped in between Hojo and the wolf prince. "Um..." he stammered. "Do any of you know where Miroku went?"

"He yapped something about clearing his head," volunteered the wolf.

Hojo gaped, "He went for a walk in such a dangerous place?"  
Inuyasha gave a chuckle, "It takes more than fresh air to clear that murky melon on his neck," he flicked a moth out of the air. "He probably went looking for whatever he and wolf turd were trying to drink before."

Kouga shook his head, "Yeah, then maybe we should start digging now, so that the grave'll be ready by—"

"—really showed some resolve with Kagura."

"Huh?" Inuyasha murmured, casting his eyes up toward the sound. The second-story window... An inn with two floors was rare in a town this size. He'd overheard one of the old bats saying that they got a lot of travelers, but...

"—don't know, Sango..." the words were muffled, but...

"The window!" Shippo squeaked. "SANGO! KAGOME! WE CAN HEAR YOU DOWN HE—uk!!"

"Shut up!" Inuyasha clamped his hand down on the fox's blabbing mouth. From the corner of his eye, he saw the wolf turd go still, one ear twitching.

"Guys!" Hojo said in a loud whisper. "It's not polite to eavesdrop!"

"Shut up!" they both hissed at once.

"—no, I mean it. It would have been difficult for even a trained warrior to hold Kagura's gaze."

"Well, Hojo is something, I guess..." that voice was definitely Kagome, but why was she saying stuff like that?

"I know he doesn't know how to fight, but his bearing... Tell me, Kagome, is he some nobleman from your time?"

Inuyasha blinked. He hadn't considered that the boy's birth might be higher than Kagome's. ...not that it mattered. The only human nobles he'd met had been mostly idiots like Amari Nobunaga and those useless daimyo. Inuyasha gave a chuckle. Hojo could definitely fit in with that crowd!

Kagome must have answered something, because Sango went on, "You must be even more dedicated to the quest for the shards than I thought," she insisted, "if you refused a suit from a man like that."

Suit?

Inuyasha frowned sourly. That stupid human, trying to charm Kagome with gifts... Now he was even bringing her clothes!

"What?! Oh, no no no, Sango, you've got it all wrong!" Kagome's alarmed voice filtered through the night air. "Things are a little different where I come from!"

The dog demon shot a smug smirk at Hojo, who looked down at his shoes. So Kagome had wised up about accepting the puny rat pup's presents, huh? The note of embarrassed panic in her voice was a little strange, but the development couldn't have been more welcome.

The human scuffed one foot against the flagstones. It would have been inaudible to someone without demon hearing, but Hojo's dejected sigh reached Inuyasha's ears like a pleasant sunbeam.

Odd... The stupid boy's reactions seemed a little strong for something like this... Sure, it was only right that Kagome would stop taking presents from a puny mortal – even if he _did_ have noble blood – but it was only a suit of clothes. It wasn't as if—

"...You don't understand, Sango!" Kagome told her friend. "Hojo would never want to _marry_ me!"

Inuyasha's mind fused into the back of his neck.

Hojo wiped one of his eyes.

_Suit... Hojo... Kagome..._

"Would you excuse me, guys?" asked the human, as if his absence would be anything but welcome. "I think I might need to clear my head, too..."

Inuyasha's thoughts refused to flow, only crashing against each other like a slowly-thawing ice shield as Hojo stumbled away.

_Oh my GOD!_

.

.

.

You will really talk to Hiei?

"I will try to get him to see reason," said Kurama. "...or at least admit that killing you would be a waste of his time."

You are such a sweetie.

"There is no sense in Hiei seeking your blood. You did not even know he was allergic to strawberries."

Thank you!

"It is certainly not as if you forged a contract, placed embarrassing images on or repeatedly stole his undergarments, now is it?"

Not at all!


	31. All Quiet

"My garments are finally here!" said Kurama with great relief.

Yay! Put them on! Put them on!

"I thought this was the laundress with my underwear that you stole."

It is! It is!

"Even if I can't get a restraining order, I'm still not changing clothes anywhere within 400 yards of you."

But don't you need to wear something for your next episode?

"Yes, but I'm wearing some n—"

. . .

"You didn't."

Kurama found himself staring at a pair of red briefs with "Foxy-Boi" written on them.

"You did!!"

I can not help myself. The changing room is that way.

"I hate you."

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

Hojo walked off, wiping absently at one eye, as three pairs of canine eyes followed his movements.

The thoughts took slightly longer:

_Oh my GOD!_

.

.

.

_ OH MY GOD!_

.

.

.

_Oh. My. God._

Kouga's eyes froze at twice their usual diameter. That tufty runt of a human was making some claim on Kagome? _His_ Kagome?

The wolf prince scoffed, just a little too loudly. So the boy was offering her an empty human ceremony! So he was from her own strange homeland! So it turned out he was from a noble lineage!

How noble could his blood be, anyway? It wasn't as if Hojo was the beloved prince and warlord of an entire wolf tribe, now was it?

But then... Kouga's gaze slashed darkly toward the paralyzed half-demon on his left. _Even with no territory, no followers, no support from his clan..._ Kouga's thoughts went cold as Inuyasha turned to meet the challenge in his eyes

When it came to nobility of blood, it was hard to top being the son of the Inu no Taisho.

"Oi! Who do you think you're growling at, wolf turd!"

"Who do you think I'm growling at, dog breath?"

The announcement was interrupted by a sound from the kitsune cub. The little kit was wriggled free of Inuyasha's grip, and was shaking with fear or anger. Kouga rolled his eyes. Kagome might be more intelligent than most of those useless youkai women, but when it came to that ugly scrap of a kitsune cub... Didn't she know that if she stopped feeding him, he'd go away?

"This is no time to get into one of your stupid fights!" squeaked Shippo, jumping up to bite Inuyasha on the wrist.

"Ow! Let _go_, you little—!"

Kouga allowed himself a smirk at the dog demon's struggles with Shippo's milk teeth. Finally, the cub dropped to the ground with a lumpier head and a few rather creative words from Inuyasha.

"Can't you two keep your minds on what's going on?" the kitsune demanded.

"Stupid runt!" Kouga shook his head. He looked back to Inuyasha. Yes, he'd been in the growling stage of working up another fight, and—

"Hojo's going to marry Kagome! If she marries him, she'll go back home with him and never come back!"

_Oh!_ Kouga froze. ..._shit!_

Something had to be done!

"Dog breath," he insisted, "we have to kill him!"

Inuyasha clapped one hand over his eyes, "Shut up, Kouga." Why was the stupid mutt-face balking at this? Didn't his inferior dog-faced brain not recognize the seriousness of the situation?

What if Hojo had already entered into negotiations with Kagome's tribe? The boy did have an uncanny ability to numb the wills of those who shared his dubious intellectual capacity. What if Hojo had turned his Flatural powers on the girl's family? What if her clan father had already agreed to the match?

"No, I mean it! I'll say I was with you; you'll say you were with me; she'll _never know!!_"

"Shut up, Kouga!"

.

.

.

"_Owowowowowowow!!_"

"Say it, wolf turd!"

"Let go, stupid dog-faced son of a—"

"Say it or I'll twist your arm off!"

"Dog breath, you are overlooking a _serious_—OWWWWW!!"

Sango levered her upper body up from the futon, wincing as her weight hit her injured arm. She leveled a disgusted glare at the open window. Somewhere on her left, Kagome murmured something and turned over. After a day of traveling, fighting and getting spit up on, was it too much to ask of two youkai to stop their excessively male squabbling and let a girl get a little sleep?

Grumbling something less than generous, Sango reached for her yukata. Slipping the garment around her shoulders, she tied a messy knot to keep it in place and marched purposefully toward the window.

On the ground below, Inuyasha had the wolf demon in a rather elaborate arm lock, his right foot jammed into the small of his back.

"Say it!"

_Say what?_ wondered Sango.

"Never!"

Sango looked around for something to throw. Hiraikotsu? Too big for the window. Kagome's pack? Too valuable. Where were some useless rocks when she needed them?

Inuyasha twisted Kouga's arm another notch. The wolf demon gave out a high-pitched whine.

"I can go on like this all night, Kouga. Just say it!!"

"'I will not kill Hojo,'" the wolf demon recited in a snarl.

"On what?"

"'On my honor as Prince of the wolf tribe.' Are you happy now, Inu-koro?"

"Or else?"

There was an audible growl and Inuyasha gave the trapped wolf demon another wrench.

"'Or else I and my whole clan are a bunch of losers who smell like pig shit.' Now let go, you stupid mutt!"

Inuyasha released Kouga, who immediately turned and made a swipe at the dog demon. Inuyasha dodged easily and returned the blow. Sango shook her head.

At least everything was quiet now.

.

.

.

Miroku sighed, staring at his hands. The torches outside the inn just barely reached this far, and everything but the bare skin on his fingers seemed to sink away into the easy blackness. He'd come out here to settle his thoughts, but...

In one day, Kagura had lured them into two battles, Hojo had tried to kill Shippo, Inuyasha had found out and not shredded him, Kouga had shown up, they'd rescued a village child, and Hojo's talisman had released another mysterious blast of flame.

The monk pressed his mind into stillness and contemplated the day's greatest mystery...

_So if Kagome has been scratching Inuyasha's ears, does that mean that the two of them are sharing more intimate company? I wonder if Sango's noticed any—_

"Is... Is someone over here?"

Miroku closed his eyes and sighed again, glancing at the barely-touched jug of local alcohol. At least Hojo wasn't ruining a good time...

"It's Miroku," he called back. "What are you doing outdoors at this late hour?"

The boy walked toward him and Miroku blinked. It might have been a trick of the scant light, but his eyes looked red.

"Is everything well, Hojo?" he asked.

The boy sighed and sat down at the far end of the bench. "I don't really know..." the words escaped him like the last breath of air on a hot day. "I guess I just figured something out," he smiled dimly into nothing, "something I should have realized a long time ago." There was a long silence. The monk pondered and the boy stared into the black space. From somewhere back toward the inn, there was a sound that might have been a shout.

"So you came outside to clear your mind?" Miroku asked at last.

Hojo gave a short laugh, "That's one way to put it."

Miroku nodded, "My master, Mushin, used to linger outside at night when he needed to think. I suppose that's where I picked up the trait."

"That's nice," Hojo pulled in a breath. "Not exactly what I meant, though."

Huh?

The boy pointed to the barely-touched jug of village brew still sitting on the bench. "Could I get drunk on that?" he asked.

"Well..." Miroku blinked at the jug, "Theoretically..."

"Close enough," Hojo yanked out the stopper and took a gulp.

The monk's eyes went big. Where had Hojo learned to stomach something as strong as this local foulness? Maybe there was more to the boy than met the—

Hojo doubled over, choking as one hand went to his throat.

Maybe not.

"Oh god!" Hojo gasped.

"Easy there..." Miroku put a hand on the boy's back.

"Does beer always taste like that?" Hojo asked in a cracking voice.

"To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure that was beer at all."

The boy looked at him helplessly and finally managed to sit up. "Miroku," he said. "I think I should ask you about something."  
"Go ahead," he offered.

"Well, if a guy has a plan, and it doesn't work out, should he keep trying or just give up and look for something else to do with his life?"

This night was full of surprises. "That's a very... intelligent question," he remarked.

"But can you answer it?" Something in Hojo's eyes was very deep.

The monk took a breath, looking away. "I think my master spoke with me about something like that once, a few years ago..." the memory rose and he saw himself, a half-grown man with a half-grown hole in his hand, "about whether I should ... about whether an aspiration of mine was truly hopeless, and whether I would be better off dedicating my time to the pursuit of enlightenment alone."

"What did he say?" Hojo asked.

"He told me to make my most of my time in this world," the beads on Miroku's right hand clicked as his palm flexed, "and to abandon my quest."

Hojo opened his mouth to answer, but Miroku went on, actually finding it easy to smile. "I have tried to follow my learned master's advice, and waste not a minute of my life," he told the boy, "but as you can see, I am here with Inuyasha and Kagome, and not in a monastery seeking wisdom."

"So you didn't give up on your dream," Hojo's eyes drifted back toward the inn.

The monk shook his head. "Though some days, I think that I will never achieve it before—" Miroku stopped himself. Some things were not for Hojo to know.

"But what if your dream wasn't some fancy quest," Hojo turned back to ask. "What if it was something you needed? Something you— Something you couldn't live without? Something you'd just die if you couldn't get?"

The monk lowered his head just barely, "In that case," he told Hojo, "I would say that—"

"Miroku! Miroku!"

He looked down to see a familiar tiny hand tugging at his robe.

"Miroku, I need to talk to you!" Shippo's face was tight and terrified. The young kitsune's eyes fell on Hojo and he tugged harder. "Without _him_ around!"

Reality came crashing back like a thousand daybreak hangovers.

He had been sitting beside Hojo, speaking to him as if – hell! Miroku had been _thinking_ of Hojo as an innocent in need of instruction.

_How did I let it slip my mind for even a moment that Hojo tried to kill Shippo out of some ignorant fear?_ Miroku berated himself. _But then, would it have amended his ignorance if I'd refused him my counsel? He won't stay alive without someone to help him..._

Another level broke, and Miroku asked himself. _Why am I helping this person stay alive at all? _The monk stared at Hojo's wide and empty face,_ After what he did, why can't I hate him properly?_

Miroku's gaze fell down to the jug still resting on the table where Hojo had dropped it.

_I have GOT to go somewhere with decent beer... This foul brew is making me think too hard._

"Miroku!" Shippo was insisting again.

"Hojo," the monk's voice took on a necessary coldness, and he gestured from the boy to the kit and back. "Do you remember what we talked about earlier tonight?"

"Miroku, I _really_ need to talk to you! It's an emergency!" the kitsune moved as if to point at Hojo, but stopped.

"I—" Hojo gulped. "I remember, Miroku." He pulled in a breath. "I was being silly to be afraid, wasn't I?"

Something in Miroku felt relieved. Hojo would mend his ways toward Shippo. There would be no need to inform Kagome of what had happened, and all would be well in time.

"Miroku," Shippo waved his arms, near tears. "We have a big problem!"

"Yes," Hojo said more confidently. "I was a real idiot," he smiled and reached down to ruffle Shippo's hair. "You're not so bad, are you, little guy?"

To Miroku's uncomprehending dismay, Shippo's little fists balled up and a gravely growl boiled up from his throat.

"Huh?" murmured Hojo.

"_I hate you!!_" the little kitsune seethed, and clamped his teeth down on Hojo's hand.

"YEEEEEEOOOW!!"

.

.

.

"You fool!" cried Kurama. "I am allergic to fabric softener!"

I told you I used fabric softener!

"No you did not!"

Yes I did!

"When?"

Chapter 29!


	32. Else

Has the swelling gone down?

"The doctor gave me something for it, yes," said Kurama.

You are back to play some more!

The fox demon held up a color photograph. "I am back to ask what these were doing in the issue of _FanGirl _that I found in the waiting room."

Wow. When did you pose for those?

"You have been selling more pictures of me!"

Have not!

"Have t—" Kurama quickly composed himself. "I will not get into another juvenile discussion with you. You will give me the negatives right now and tell me how you were able to take those photographs. I was assured that that beach was completely remote!"

I did not take those photos.

"Then where did you get these negatives that I found in your glove compartment?"

eBay.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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.

.

Relying on his years of training, Miroku drew a calm around him as he settled his grip on Shippo's tail and held the little kitsune up to eye level.

The stupid tuft of fuzz had just undone half a day of progress – progress which Miroku'd made by having long and deep conversations with Hojo, and _that_ was about as much fun as taking long and deep dives into horse dung. And they had been for the runt's benefit!

After he'd _finally_ gotten Hojo to stop screaming and sit still long enough to bandage his dented hand, Miroku had snatched the raging kitsune by the tail and dragged him away for a talk. ...and knowing Hojo, he'd probably wander off and get himself eaten if he were left without a chaperone for too long.

"Now," Miroku said with his forced calm as he eyed Shippo under the torchlight. "You are going to explain to me, Shippo, why you saw fit to bite Hojo."

The monk was expecting Shippo to protest his innocence, claim he'd only been playing or call Hojo a wuss for even blinking at that baby bite, but instead the youkai's pale little face scrunched up and he began to shake.

"Miroku!" he whimpered, "I don't want her to _leave!_"

"What?" the monk asked as Shippo began to cry.

"Hojo's going to make her leave!" he shook his little fists upside-down in the air. "He's going to marry her and she'll leave for _ever_."

Miroku dropped Shippo on the ground, where he flipped over and started bawling in the dust.

Hojo wanted to marry...

"Sango?!" Miroku half-shouted. "That _bastard!_ Ow!" the monk cut off as Shippo kicked him in the shin.

"Not Sango, you idiot!" scolded Shippo. "Kagome! Hojo wants to marry Kagome."

"Oh," Miroku blinked. "Well that's different."

Shippo made a high keening sound and cried harder.

"I mean..." Miroku sank down to one knee, tentatively reaching out to pat the child's head. "I mean, I can see why that would upset you, Shippo," he said calmly. "Why don't you tell me everything?"

The monk settled down to listen as the kitsune cub wiped his eyes. They'd already dealt with Kagura and her minions twice, and there were only a few hours left before dawn. What else could happen in one night?

.

.

.

Kikyo halted on the hillside next to the village.

He was here. She could feel it as plainly as if she held his face in her hands. And he'd brought _that girl_. The one with the stolen face.

No matter. He was hers and he would see her because she wished it, and because, once upon a time, he had promised her an ordinary life.

There had been a great disturbance on this hill. Kikyo could sense something at once Naraku and not. He would tell her what she needed to know. A tiny smile graced her cold lips as she began her steady stride toward the human settlement. The houses would be still, she knew, while inside the little children slept.

Inuyasha would soon know that she was here. He would know and he would come to—

"...don't know what to do..."

The priestess paused. Had her clay eyes missed the presence of another person?

"Is someone there?" she called out.

The clouds parted, and a shred of moon lit a smudged and open face.

Kikyo opened her mouth to insist that the boy tell her what he was doing when he jumped immediately to his feet. His eyes flicked to her priestess' garments.

"Hello, Miss. Forgive me for saying so, but a lady like yourself shouldn't be out here alone. There are all sorts of dangerous things running around."

Kikyo paused. From what she could detect, the boy had no powers, no weapons, no demon blood, and an injured right hand.

_And he presumes to worry for my safety?_ Kikyo's thoughts darkened. "Who are you?" she demanded.

"My name is Hojo, Miss," he inclined his head slightly, "and if you'll forgive my haste, there is a village just down this rise. It's small but it's quite safe. Please, let me take you there, and then I'll answer all the questions you want."

Kikyo was silent for a moment. She could sense no deceit in the him, but something seemed amiss. ...something that glimmered. Bound to the boy's throat with a leather thong was a talisman that flickered with a light that wasn't really light.

Where had she seen something like that before?__

"May I consider that a promise?" she asked.

"If you like, Miss," the boy inclined his head. "I promise. Now please..." he held out his arm, bent at the elbow. Frowning, Kikyo took it, and they began to walk.

"Why you're cold as ice!" exclaimed Hojo, pulling his hand away.

He had discovered that she was not among the living! Kikyo felt her clay spine stiffen. It usually took weeks of staying in one place before people began to notice. Odd. The boy didn't _look_ especially observant...

And why was he tugging at the fastenings of his coat?

"Take my jacket, Miss. I insist," he held the peculiarly-cut garment out with both hands. The offer was so strange that Kikyo found she could do nothing but take it. The boy leaned over to tuck the creases of his coat around her shoulders and held out his arm again.

"Shall we?" he asked.

She took his arm again and they walked.

"It's a funny world, isn't it?" he said after a moment.

"What can you mean?" she found herself asking.

"I'm just babbling," he looked at the grass. "I think the world's funny in that a man can spend his whole childhood getting a _plan_, an idea of how his life will turn out. He can know what his education will be, what trade he'll take up," a sad smile colored his unremarkable face. "He can even know what person he's going marry when the time comes."

Kikyo's clay brow creased.

"The world doesn't really make any promises, does it?" he looked away again. "I just dreamed the whole thing, didn't I?

"Some promises are meant to be kept."

He nodded. "Maybe," he said. Then he looked at her, frowning. "If you'll forgive my boldness, have we met before? You look terribly familiar."

"I don't believe so," she answered. Indeed, this Hojo's face was nothing special, but she was certain she would have remembered meeting someone with such a striking manner.

Such a striking manner and such a sad smile...

Kikyo looked up as he gave a small laugh. "I just realized that I haven't even asked what you're called."

"I am Kikyo."

"That's a pretty name," he answered. "A priestess I met not long ago said that she had a sister who was named Kikyo, but she died a long time ago." Hojo's eyes were large and sad. "It was very tragic. She was still so young," his smile dimmed. "I guess the world didn't make any promises to her either."

There was a strange warmth in the emptiness behind those eyes. This was a person who took the foundations of the universe for granted. For the first time in half a life, the priestess had to struggle for her words.

"You're so... _ordinary!_"

"Thank you, Miss Kikyo," he answered.

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.

.

Inuyasha came to a halt near the edge of the woods beside the village. She was here somewhere. He knew it as surely as he knew the scent of earth.

Was she okay? Had Naraku tried to hurt her again? The dog demon felt his blood begin to churn. Naraku would pay for everything he had done to Kikyo...

"What's going on, Inu-koro?" demanded Kouga.

"I told you not to follow me, wolf turd!" he snarled back as he wheeled to face the wolf prince. "This is something that I have to handle on my own, so just go back to the village and wait for—"

"Who's that girl with Hojo?"

"What?"

Inuyasha turned and swore that his eyes rolled down out of his head. There on the rise, not fifty yards from where he was, stood the solitary priestess and the moron from Kagome's time.

"You drove off the wind sorceress with your grandmother's talisman?" her words drifted toward him.

"Oh, it was Miroku who drove her off," Hojo answered. "I'm not quite sure how he did it, but I'd like to think I helped a little," he laughed. "Mostly I was just scared, though."

"Where are you from?" she insisted. "You must tell me!"

"Tokyo, Miss Kikyo."

"Tokyo," she murmured.

Inuyasha opened his mouth to call out, but couldn't get his voice to work. Kikyo had come to see him. Why hadn't she noticed that he was here? He was right here!

"If you don't mind my asking," said Hojo, "why are you coming to this little village?"

Kikyo stopped walking. "I was coming to see someone," she said, "but you have given me much to think about."

"I have?" Hojo asked. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you for the cloak," she said, slipping the garment from her shoulders and offering it back to him, "and for your kind words."

"Anytime!" he said brightly.

"And please tell the man named Inuyasha that I will be back to speak with him another day," she intoned, "about a promise that he made me, once."

"Okay."

"Farewell, Hojo."  
"Bye."

Inuyasha could only stare as Kikyo's soul-gliders collected around her arms and lifted her off the ground. A moment later, she was gone.

"Hm," Hojo buttoned up his coat. "What a strange girl."

There was a snuffling sound behind him. Inuyasha turned to see Kouga put a hand on his injured ribs. "Laughing isn't good for me right now," he admitted.

Inuyasha cracked his knuckles. "You're more right than you know..."

"Huh?" Kouga looked up.

"Oh!" Hojo called out as he ran toward them, "Hi, guys! I didn't know you were out here. Inuyasha, a girl named Kikyo stopped by a minute ago, and she told me to tell you that—"

"Shut up!"

.

.

.

Give those back!

"Are you joking?" asked Kurama.

No! Those negatives cost me cash and I want them back!

"I have no intentions of returning them."

Then I'm keeping these!

Kurama snatched at a pair of green boxers with roses on them.


	33. Misconceptions

Give me back my negatives!

"They're my negatives!" said Kurama. "They have my poorly-photographed image on them! You should give me back my undergarments."

Okay, I will! You'll be sorry!!

"Huh—WHOA!!"

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

To say that the journey back to Kaede's village was tense would have been like saying that Hojo was a sort of annoying, that getting slammed by Kagome's rosary was mildly humiliating or that Kouga's hygiene wasn't that great.

There had been some talk of staying in the mountain village an extra day. For all his griping, even Inuyasha had to admit that it was a good idea. With a wounded Sango, an exhausted Kirara and a population still in disgusting awe of Hojo, the matter had seemed almost settled.

And then Miroku had asked if either he or Kagome remembered why Kaede had told them to take the runt along on this trip in the first place.

Inuyasha'd been about to bark out what he thought of the stupid question, when he'd caught sight of some of the young men glaring at the moron in a very familiar way. And muttering to each other. And making threatening gestures.

Hojo was oblivious, of course, hugging the family of the kid he was credited with saving, pulling Kagome's pack to his shoulder and trotting off at Sango's heels.

"I knew humans were slow, but this pace is beyond my dreams!"

"You can run ahead if you want, wolf turd," growled Inuyasha. "No need to stop when you reach the ocean."

The wolf demon gave a smirk, to which Inuyasha could only glare. The stupid fuck knew that there was _something_ important about the woman who'd visited the night before. Inuyasha's own reaction had more than told him that.

She'd just turned and left! She hadn't even looked down to see him waiting for her, ready to see her through anything. Inuyasha was at a complete loss. Kikyo'd never completely ignored him before. Even when he'd first met her, she'd at least pin him to a tree by his shirtsleeves before turning her back.

The dog demon looked up from his thoughts just as Kagome turned her head, staring at the path ahead of her just a little too intently to be natural. It was a movement he knew well – she'd been watching him.

Inuyasha was honest enough with himself to admit that he'd noticed that Kagome wasn't exactly happy when Kikyo came to see him. He was even honest enough to admit that he knew why.

Kikyo's presence Kagome could forgive. She'd shown that many times. Inuyasha didn't like to think about it, but the fact that Kikyo was Kagome's resurrected past life should have freaked her out a lot more than it did. Kagome would speak politely to Kikyo, and thank her if she did something kind. Kagome would explain things to Kikyo, defend him to Kikyo...

It wasn't the dead priestess' presence that brought that pensive slump to Kagome's steps. It was the attention that she drew from him. It was the fact that he was willing to run off whenever he felt her close by, just to see her face, be near her, to know that she was still in the world. Inuyasha eyed Kagome as she pretended to ignore him.

She was jealous off her skinny ass.

Kagome couldn't stand it when he went to see Kikyo, so why didn't she ever talk about it? Sango and Miroku weren't shy about it, so why didn't Kagome remind him about all the times she'd tried to hurt her? Or the time Kikyo gave Naraku a huge chunk of the sacred jewel? Or the fact that she lived on the spirits of the innocent dead? Those were all great sniping points to use against a rival, so how come Kagome never used them?

The dog demon stared at the back of Kagome's head. She had her bow slung on one shoulder and Shippo on the other. For some reason, the kitsune cub didn't want to let her go today.

Inuyasha kicked a rock. Why did this have to be so damn confusing? Kagome was so... ...but when Kikyo showed up, he just couldn't _not _see her.

"Watch it, dog breath!" Kouga rubbed at the back of his head, clutching the rock in one puny hand.

Inuyasha sneered back, "Make me, wolf turd!"

Kouga growled. Inuyasha growled back. And the next hour passed in a way that he understood very well.

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.

.

Sango settled her legs on the rock and unwrapped the peculiar "energy bar" that Kagome had handed her when they'd stopped at midday. Whatever aura the morsel was supposed to emit, it wasn't holy or demonic or anything else that she'd learned to sense. Maybe Miroku would know. She took a bite. Hm... Not bad...

Was there anyone who wasn't acting strange today?

First there was Shippo. The young kitsune had demanded even more of Kagome's attention than usual. If he wasn't asking her to pick him up, then he wanted her to tell him a story. If he didn't want her to tell him a story, then he was throwing little rocks at Hojo when the human wasn't looking. Sango had to decide that it was for the best. The little handful kept Kagome's mind off of the puppy-eared fool leading their way.

Even if Hojo hadn't blurted her name over breakfast, she'd have known that Kikyo had paid one of her visits. The taijiya had seen it happen enough to read the signs. Inuyasha was acting pensive and conflicted, and Kagome couldn't keep her eyes on him for two heartbeats in a row.

Sango frowned. Inuyasha looked markedly more frustrated than he usually did after a tryst with the thing that had once been woman. Now he kept looking at Kagome and then back at his feet.

Was it too much to think..? Sango watched a flicker of pain run across Inuyasha's face as he looked away from Kagome. Was the faithless dog demon coming to his senses?

Sango squashed the thought. Yes, it was too much to think that one night of anything could make Inuyasha realize that he should choose Kagome instead of Kikyo.

...but it was not too much to hope.

Sango found her eyes lingering on the young man from Kagome's village. Hojo might not have been the quickest wit she'd ever known – a certain silk-tongued monk still held that prize – but he certainly seemed to inspire understanding in others. If the events of the night before brought any eventual happiness to her friends, then she didn't doubt that Hojo would be somewhere at the root of it.

Hojo wasn't acting himself today either. All the light seemed to be gone from his smiling.

Sango got to her feet, reaching out with her good arm to touch a finger to his elbow. "Hojo-san?" she asked. "What is troubling you? I didn't think your injuries were serious."

Hojo gave a half-smile and shook his head, "I'm fine. Very kind of you to ask. You're always so thoughtful, Miss Sango."

There was a sharp guttural sound from behind. Sango turned, folding her arms as best she could with the bandage.

"I..." stammered Miroku, "I choked on something." He got to his feet, "Please excuse me."

Uh huh. And his hands just "slipped" from time to time.

"I'm all right, Miss Sango," Hojo went on. "I just... I have some thinking to do is all. He shifted his shoulders, "I think I'll walk ahead a bit if that's alright with you?"

The taijiya held still for a moment. They hadn't passed by any demon trouble on the way here, but somehow she didn't think that Hojo wandering off by himself was a good idea.

"Not too far," she said. "If you can't hear us behind you, then turn around and wait."

"No need to worry about me, Miss Sango," he answered with something like his usual smile.

His steps faded in her ears, and Sango's eyes found their way to the young kitsune gleefully accepting the chocolate energy bar that Kagome had saved for him.

_ "See? Don't get worked up over nothing; I'll keep my end of it."_

_ "Alright, you can say whatever you want to him if he pesters you, but no hitting him. None whatsoever."_

Sango's eyes narrowed. Kagome was just too tolerant with Inuyasha. He had obviously kept no part of his promise to be kinder to Shippo. Sango simmered. It was as if he had never made the pact at all!

Oh, the great dog demon was so faithful to his word when it came to running off with Kikyo, but he couldn't keep even one promise to restrain himself? Ooooooh, it was laziness, selfishness, hypocrisy ... all the worst traits of humankind!

Shippo hopped off of Kagome's shoulder and over to the sulking dog demon. "You should taste one of these, Inuyasha!" he insisted. "Kagome says that they're full of bite-a-mints!"

The dog demon shrugged. An eyeblink later, the bar in Shippo's hands was half gone and full of fang marks.

"I didn't mean for you to take mine!" Shippo jumped up and started gnawing on Inuyasha's forehead.

"Get off, brat!"

"Whoooooooa! —oof!!" Shippo was shotputted headfirst into a tree. He rolled upright and rubbed the new bump on his head.

"Inuyasha," Kagome scolded, "was that really necessary?"

"I think so, yeah!"

Was that all she was going to do about it? The stupid dog boy had made her a promise! The taijiya felt her eye twitch.

"Hey Sango?" Inuyasha rasped, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "What's with the stinkeye? I didn't do anything."

The taijiya pulled herself to her feet. "I don't think I feel like sitting here," she said darkly. "I think I'll walk a bit."

"Suit yourself."

"Sango?" Kagome looked up.

"You have more patience than you need, Kagome," she answered as she stormed off.

.

.

.

This stuff wasn't bad, but Miroku still couldn't figure out what kind of energy it was supposed to exude. Maybe Sango would know. After the previous night's adventures with unidentifiable beverages, he was a little skittish about food he didn't recognize.

The woods were thick here. He'd only needed to take a few steps before the leaves closed in, giving him enough privacy to unfold his thoughts. Miroku sighed.

_I thought this was supposed to be Inuyasha's problem._

If even half of Shippo's hysterical version of events was true, then Hojo's interest in Kagome was more than some idle infatuation. All the boy's ramblings about quests and plans were beginning to make sense. In all probability, Hojo had been dreaming of Kagome for a long time now, and longed above all things to make her his wife in the fullness of time.

_He is a fool, but an honest fool, a fool willing to learn from his mistakes. And I cannot doubt that he would do his best to make Kagome happy._ Miroku suppressed a small laugh. _If I thought for a moment that Kagome returned his feelings, then I might offer my blessing on her future with Hojo even now._

Hojo's feelings were surely one-sided. Miroku almost pitied the boy.

Then he remembered Sango's changed behavior and the feeling evaporated.

One of Mushin's sermons echoed back to him, _"A lovesick man is a pathetic thing, boy. He loses his hope, his appetite for food and drink, his desire to pursue other members of the female sex, all his attention is on whatever lady has rejected him,"_ the high monk had advised._ "Such men are very easy to con and ridiculously neglectful of their purses."_

_Would that I could con him into going home..._ Miroku thought glumly.

A voice drifted toward him through the leaves. "...and every day, the princess saw the changeling toss a ball in the air, and whisper to itself, so she figured out that it couldn't be a real baby..."

Miroku smiled despite himself. Something in the speaker's cadence made him feel—

The voice dropped, and she couldn't make out the next line.

_That almost sounds like Hojo,_ he mused. _But why would he be telling a fairy tale in the middle of the woods?_

"What did the baby demon do next, Hojo-san?" came a high, childish question.

An image flashed across his mind. _Shippo likes stories. Could the two of them have resolved their differences that quickly?_ Frowning, Miroku began to walk toward the sound.

"The changeling flew into a rage, and told the princess to give him back his magic ball, or he would burn her skin off," Hojo's voice answered. "Now the changeling didn't look much like a baby any more. She could see its wrinkled face, and its hands like twisted roots, and the big fat belly it had gotten from all the village women's food and attention."

"Was it eating their souls, Hojo-san?" Miroku could hear a little clearer now. The person with Hojo was definitely a child. Hojo was in no danger, but there weren't any villages for miles, and Hojo would have come to tell them if he'd met other travelers. As unlikely as it might seem, Shippo was listening to Hojo tell a story.

"I don't know... Maybe. When my grandmother would tell me this story, all she said was that taking care of the changeling made the women tired and used up."

"What happened next?"

Miroku called out, "Hojo? Is that you?"

"Hey!" he called back. "Where are you?"

"Down the path yet a way," he answered. "I still can't see you."

"We're over here by the rocks!" he replied.

Miroku kept walking. Something wasn't right, but he wasn't sure what—

The monk rounded a bend and found himself not three feet from the boy from Kagome's village. Right next to him on a waist-high stone, a little human girl was kicking her feet in the air. The girl smiled and waved familiarly. Miroku froze. He'd seen this child before somewhere, but—

"Why don't you join us, Miroku?" Hojo invited with a smile. "I was just telling Rin here a story."

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Do you need me to get you down?

"I can get myself down, thanks," Kurama insisted.

I didn't think the waistband would fit twice around the ceiling fan. Where did you buy those?

"I am not telling you, ever."

Not even if I let you keep the Sephiroth costume?

"On second thought, I think I will stay up here."


	34. Challenged

You have to come down some time.

"No I don't," said Kurama.

That can't be comfy.

"It's just fine."

I made pie!

"I don't care."

It's yummy.

"Don't care."

But it's pie.

"Still not caring."

How strong is that waistband?

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

There was a ripping sound and Kurama hit the floor.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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Miroku dimly realized that he must have looked very silly standing there, staring at a child seated smilingly on a rock as if she were a nest of live snakes. "What..." his voice sounded like he'd been drinking for days and his stomach wasn't arguing. "What did you say?"

"I said I was telling Rin a story, and do you want to stay for the end?" the boy put a hand on the monk's shoulder. "You don't look so good. What's wrong?"

"Mr. Hojo! Finish the story!"

"Just a minute, Rin. I think Miroku here is sick." A pair of big, concerned eyes filled Miroku's vision, "Miroku?"

_"Listen to me, boy – no! Stop playing with that and pay attention. Whenever you find a baby animal in the woods, remember: It may look cute and cuddly, but its momma or poppa probably isn't, and isn't far away. Got that? Good. Now back to arithmetic. What's two plus three?"_

"Rin," Miroku said carefully. "Where is Sess—" The girl's eyes narrowed. Miroku held in a cough, "Where is _Lord Sesshoumaru_?" he managed.

"Lord Sesshoumaru went away," said Rin, "but he always comes back!"

"Yes," Miroku dared a breath, "and where did he tell you to wait for him?"

"Right here!" she pointed to the rock and kicked her feet.

Well that was something. "And what about Jak— Lord Jaken?"

"Ah and Un ran away, and Lord Jaken ran after them!" the girl folded her chubby arms. "Lord Sesshoumaru told us to wait _here_."

Hojo was looking from Miroku to the girl and back. His brown eyebrows furrowed. He opened his mouth, closed it again, and finally said, "I've missed something, haven't I? Who's Sesshoumaru?"

_Patience... _The words hissed in his mind like diamond ice._ A monk must have patience._

"Sesshoumaru is a demon lord," he began in a heavy calm, "one of the true taiyoukai. Ordinarily, he considers humans to be beneath his notice, but for some reason, he has taken young Rin into his charge."

"Well that sounds lovely," said Hojo, who at least had the sense to still look confused.

"With the exception of this girl, Sesshoumaru will slay any human who gives him even the slightest offense," Miroku went on. "If you had moved Rin one inch from this spot, there would be no help for you." The monk gave Hojo a level glance. "There may yet be none."

"Come on!" the boy protested. "He sounds like a concerned and involved foster-parent, but to be _that_ overprotective is just reality-challenged! No one could ever be that much of a—"

"He is Inuyasha's brother."

Hojo stopped. "Oh."

The wind rustled through the leaves.

"That's not good, then."

"No," finished Miroku.

"Hm," Hojo rubbed his chin. "Could Inuyasha talk to him, tell him that I was just—"

"Ah," Miroku shook his head. "They don't exactly speak."

"Well that's sad," Hojo commented. "Hey, what if I start running? Right now?"

"Sesshoumaru is probably faster than Kouga," Miroku supplied, "and he has a better nose for tracking than Inuyasha, so—"

"Lord Sesshoumaru is the fastest youkai ever!" Rin beamed.

"Sounds like, Rin!" Hojo answered with an oddly nerveless smile. "Okay, no running," he mused. "Besides, if I leave Rin here alone, and someone else comes along and hurts her, this Sesshoumaru guy sounds like the kind of person who'd track me down and kill me for letting it happen, right?"

Miroku blinked. "Well, now that I think of it..."

"Hm..." Hojo rubbed his chin. "Well you've obviously seen him before, and you're still alive. How did that work for you?"

"Indeed," Miroku nodded. "His attention was on something else each of those times. As I said before, humans are beneath his notice."

"So..." Hojo trailed off. "If he sees for himself that I'm not a threat or anything, do you think I might just slip under his radar?"

Miroku frowned, "Under his what?"

"It's an expression. It means he won't care that I exist."

"That..." Miroku's mind clinked and stuck at the thought, "that _might_ work."

"Okay, great!" Hojo pivoted on one heel and turned a blind-eyed grin to the little girl, "Where did I leave off?"

"The princess had the baby youkai's magic ball!" she answered.

"Ah," Miroku interrupted Hojo as he began to finish the story. ...some piece of nonsense about a princess who'd stolen some magic bauble from a changeling. "You are taking this strangely well."

Hojo shrugged. "I think maybe I'm getting the hang of it."

Miroku's didn't know precisely what to make of that. _I should probably inform Inuyasha that his brother is in the area. He will want to..._ The monk's thoughts trailed away. _To..._

"Rin," he said at last. "Did Lord Sesshoumaru say what he had come here to do?"

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"Inuyasha!"

The blow fell. The dog demon skidded into a tree, "Kagome, stay back!" His hand moved smoothly to Tetsusaiga's hilt. His mouth drew back from gleaming fangs; the voice that came from between them was dark. "What are you doing here, Sesshoumaru?"

Kouga looked up. _Sesshoumaru?_

The newcomer's eyes narrowed. The claws on his right hand gained just a hint of poisonglow. "Make no demands of me, little brother."

He tasted the newcomer's scent again. Dog-reek with a touch of elegance... Yes, this was the same person who'd killed one of the shichinin-tai on the mountain. He looked from brother to brother. He'd never really understood how a half-demon could make Kouga of the wolf tribe struggle and sweat to win a fight, no matter what kind of monster his sire had been, but now that he saw the older brother... It took a lot to sneak up on an alpha wolf, and this guy had come out of _nowhere_. Just the way he held himself, like he was made of stone and air at once, made Kouga stifle a shiver. The wolf tribe was strong; with jewel shards they would be even stronger, but this creature walked with echoes of the ancient world.

_No wonder the mutt was never afraid of me._

Off to his right, Kagome tensed. A split-second later, the poison tint flared bright and Inu-koro ducked an acid blow that made snake demon venom look like a gentle rain.

Kouga folded his arms happily. Kagome could predict an enemy's moves using only his youki? Making Kagome his woman was the best idea he'd ever had!

The kitsune rat ducked behind her hair, leaving just his face peeping out. Kouga turned his attention back to the fight. Inu-koro snarled and beat down his brother's hand, twisting to aim a kick straight at that elaborately-dressed back. The elder youkai moved aside with uncanny speed, barely ruffling the fur slung over his shoulder.

_Amazing..._ Kouga marked. This was no random ambush. The young demon lord's interest seemed focused on Inu-koro alone, and – Kouga's eyes flicked to Kagome – as long as it stayed that way, Kouga saw no reason to jump in. When else was he going to get a look at dog breath's moves from anywhere but the attempted receiving end?

_Why isn't he using the sword?_ Kouga's brow creased as he watched the brothers volley back and forth. His eyes fell on a pair of hilts in the embroidered belt. _They have an agreement. If one doesn't, the other won't._ Kouga frowned again. _That doesn't make sense. Inu-koro doesn't play that kind of fair. It looks like this guy could hold his own even if dog breath did pull that overgrown fruit knife._ He shook his head. _No... There must be some other reason._

"Inuyasha, his power's building! He's going to use the—"

A new light flared, and Kouga leapt back.

A gleaming whip dripped from Sesshoumaru's— _Fuck! _the wolf prince gaped in amazement._ That guy only has one arm?_

"Silence, wench!" the light flared. Kouga's eyes narrowed. Sesshoumaru's poisoned whip came down with blinding speed. Inuyasha let out a cry of rage, pulling Tetsusaiga to life between the human and the burning blow.

Kagome wasn't there when it landed.

"Stay the hell away from her, Sesshoumaru!" came the doubled shout.

Kouga scowled, "Quit copying me, dog breath!"

"Quit copying _me!_ And put Kagome down!"

Kouga growled. Couldn't a guy pull his best girl out of the way of a demon lord's energy whip without getting hassled? Kagome looked up from where he held her in his arms. Any second now, she would gaze up at him with those perfect eyes, thank him for saving her life, and just before he went to put some serious hurt on this overdressed puppy, she'd say—

"_Shippo!_"

"Huh?"

"I dropped him when you— Shippo!"

Kouga twisted his neck to see the kitsune cub barreling away from Sesshoumaru on all four rat-legged feet. Kagome pushed out of his arms and dropped to one knee to scoop him up. "Kouga," she met his eyes. "Sango and Miroku can't be far away. Find them!"

"He tried to harm you, Kagome! This guy's mine!"  
A light chuckle broke the air.

"Are you outdone, then, brother?" The ends of Sesshoumaru's lips tipped up. "Have you lost your human plaything—" he sniffed carefully, "—to a common wolf demon?"

"HEY!" Kouga shouted back.

Dog breath cut the air with a scream and then the blade. Sesshoumaru avoided it without cracking his smile.

"Be careful," the demon lord gave Kouga an amused glance. "Human women bring only worthless sons."

"That's it!" Kouga stomped toward the overdressed stranger. Sure, this jerk was pretty quick, but did he have two jewel shards? Did he spend five years leading his clan to supremacy in the mountains? Did he—

There was a flash of white and gold, and Kouga found himself gazing up at the canopy. He flipped to his feet and braced to charge, only to find his way blocked by the fully-transformed Tetsusaiga. "Stay out of this," the words came like a hiss from between Inuyasha's fangs. His voice dropped to well below human hearing, "_She's mine to protect, not yours_."

"Play bodyguard all you want," he answered in kind, "but she's still my woman."

"_She's not yours!_" even without the furious red rising on Inu-koro's neck and face, Kouga could have felt the fury slicing through the air. Tetsusaiga shifted, and Kouga moved to avoid the attack a split second before he realized that Inu-koro was swinging the blade to face the elder brother, "This is between you and me, Sesshoumaru," Inu-koro's voice scraped like metal on rock. "Leave Kagome out of it. Leave the fucking wolf turd out of it."

Kouga snarled, "Don't speak for me, Inu-koro!"

"What do you want, Sesshoumaru?" shouted dog breath. "Usually when you come sniffing around, you have some excuse."

"Very well," the elder demon's eyes flicked to where Kagome was holding the frightened kit. Kouga felt a new growl rise in his throat. "You reek of Naraku, little brother. You will tell me where to find that disgusting half-demon."

Inu-koro gave a short laugh, "If I'd seen Naraku, he'd be rotting in his fucking grave."

"We ran into the wind-bitch Kagura," Kouga called back. "She shares his scent, but don't seek her life. I will be the one to kill her!"

Two sets of amber leveled on the wolf prince.

"I did not," Sesshoumaru's finger twitched, "invite you to speak."

Kouga felt the vein in his scalp pop, "Why you—!"

"Inuyasha!"

Kagome's voice and then the whip broke the air, and Inu-koro went sprawling. Kouga shook his head. _That mutt has no sense of balance. It's a wonder he can even—_

CRACK!

"Owf!"

Kouga pulled himself to his feet in time to see the newcomer walking steadily away. "How dare he show his back!" he snarled.

"Just let him go," Kagome's voice was still tight. Kouga saw her body, her knees, her hands sink down next to Inu-koro's shoulders for just a second. Dog breath gave a twitch, as if to slap her away.Then dog breath looked at Kouga, and then looked away, and then very deliberately took hold of Kagome's fingers. Kouga felt a growl rise with the confused blush on the girl's face as Inu-koro awkwardly got to his feet.

So the dumb mutt thought that his claim wasn't true? That Kagome belonged to Inuyasha of Nothing and not to Kouga the wolf prince? It was time to make a few things clear.

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Nice landing.

"Shut it."


	35. Advice

AUGUST 8, 2004: From this point forward, the Kurama arc will be written in the present tense. That should still satisfy the rule about script format, without costing us as much of the original flavor.

"I am extremely pleased," Kurama begins, "to interrupt your regularly scheduled Kurama arc. Since it means that the fan-author will not be devising a new trial or torment for me to endure at the hands of her narrator alter-ego, I am delighted to introduce reader interaction week."

We have a request.

**"LEAVE US YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS, (shadow 6689)!!"**shout both of them.

"Do the math," insists Kurama.

Yeah! Do the freakin' math!

"In addition, it seems that many of the readers were wondering why it took quite so long to update after chapter thirty-three. My 'hostess' will now explain why."

Not exactly.

"What?" asks Kurama. "I thought you were going to tell everyone why chapters thirty-four and thirty-five are so late."

I thought it would be better expressed through dance.

"You ...wait. You what?"

Just then, a chorale _tour jetes_ onto the stage to the sound of Sondheim's, _Hey Look; Ithilwen Posted Chapter 32_.

The tempo ups as the music changes to an excerpt from Copeland's, "Appalachian Spring," entitled, _Oh Crud; It's Kikyo_.

The narrator joins the chorale onstage as they dance out their reactions to chapters 32 and 33 using feather boas, spiky shoulder-grips and face painting, all done to minimalist composer Philip Glass' _Sesshoumaru on the Beach_.

A disco ball descends from the ceiling.

Kurama rubbed his eyes, "The sad thing is that you thought this would be a good idea."

Ith and the chorale do a cheesily choreographed version of, _Got to Give the People What They Want_.

Time for my angsty solo.

Ith acts out indecision to the sounds of Wagner's, _But What the Crud Is Sesshoumaru Doing Out There Anyway He Doesn't Want Tetsusaiga Anymore And He Doesn't Want the Jewel Shards And He Doesn't Have a Girlfriend For Hojo to Charm_, (Excerpt from _Tristan und Isolde_).

The dance ends with a triumphant interpretation of _Lookin' for Naraku (In All the Wrong Places)_.

Ta-da!

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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Pathetic. As if the beast had not brought enough shame on the bloodline. There was no strength to be found in humans, even half-humans.

From the beginning, Inuyasha had allowed his weaker blood to permeate his scent and sentience, emulating their great father only in mockery. He coveted jewels, like a human miser. He had sought blood and battle, like a weak specter born of superstition and peasant sweat.

And all it had taken to goad out his anger was the suggestion that the girl might leave him for a commoner. The ignorant beast concerned himself with the flighty affections of a mindless human, and appeared to covet her attention like a pearl beyond price.

A hint of green formed on the flawless nails as Sesshoumaru's teeth clenched in his jaw.

_Need he remind me that he is the son of my father?_

Dilution could come in many ways. Inuyasha's blood had curdled in mortality, and the tribal wolves had lost their strength with the slow stilling of the human wars. Mortals no longer feared the tusks in the clouds, no longer knew that the dog at the door could eat them whole.

_I spent years seeking the Tetsusaiga, so that its power might make me the equal of my great father_. _I am less than he was, for all that my line is pure._ And when chaos came no more, what would become of the race of great demons? Not even human fear could be eternal.

The world was going to end.__

Sesshoumaru looked the thought in the face, and then turned his mind back to Inuyasha.

The fool had not even had the courtesy to be useful, though this did explain why Naraku's fetid trail had given off a feminine air. _The wind sorceress..._ Sesshoumaru's thoughts laced.

Naraku's most powerful slave had come to the demon lord seeking an alliance. She had suggested that he slay her master, and for what? There was nothing that she could possibly offer him, she with her false-elegant charms, her brazen demands, her bright eyes a perfect red against the polished night. She was impudent, and the only being alive who had ever looked on him without a hint of fear.

Not long after that, her scent had disappeared from the world for several weeks, coming forth again only once it had gained an air of rusted iron and desperation.

Some time after that, Rin had been kidnapped. There had been no mistaking the wind demon's scent in the matter. _I should have known nothing but rage at that moment,_ the dog demon allowed himself to acknowledge. _And yet I blame only Naraku_.

And so he hunted the half-demon, but not because she had asked him to. He hunted would slay Naraku, but not because he gave even a thought to what pleased her. He would tear that foul life from the world, but not because he wished to set a noble creature free.

But first, there was Naraku's trail to find, and before the first, there was Rin. He hadn't left her far from here. He—

"No matter where the princess went, the changeling was right behind, tripping her when she walked, and breaking whatever she touched..."

The demon's eyes narrowed. There was human scent here, and not all of it Rin's. He paused to listen.

Rin let out a tiny cry, and Sesshoumaru appeared behind her, in the shadows. "Did it pull her hair, Mr. Hojo?"

"It sure did!"

Rin seemed unharmed, and not truly frightened. The demon set implacable gold eyes on her vacant-eyed storyteller. He appeared to be one of the mindless zombie eunuchs who were enslaved to the eel demons of— Sesshoumaru sniffed again. No, it was just a human.

"What happened next?" Rin begged.

"What do you think happened?"

"I know," the girl laughed, "but I'm not telling."

"Well!" the stranger continued. "How about I tell the rest of the story, and you can tell me if I got it right."

"Okay!"

Sesshoumaru stepped into view. The tufty-haired human had a disturbingly vacant smile, and wide-open eyes that he dared set on a demon lord.

The whelp beamed up at him. "Who's this, Rin?" he asked.

Rin laughed. "I'm not telling!"

The human laughed back. "Okay, then. Not even a hint? Is he that Lord Jaken guy you were talking about?"

"What are you doing here?" Sesshoumaru asked without preamble.

"I'm telling Rin a story," the human answered plainly, "and I'm waiting for someone." The short-haired boy looked him over from head to foot. "Hey..." he said stupidly. "You're a demon, aren't you?"

"I am."

"I thought so!" the boy beamed. "Maybe you could tell me, then: Have you ever heard of a demon named 'Sesshoumaru'?"

Rin giggled, hiding her mouth with one hand.

The white-haired specter answered with an icy stare and no more.

"Oh!" the human cringed. "I'm sorry, Rin. I'm supposed to call him 'Lord Sesshoumaru,' aren't I?"

As if a human could have the audacity to speak that name at all.

"Well," prattled the oblivious human, "all that I know about him he takes care of Rin here," he shot the girl a witless grin, "and that he's the older brother of this guy I know, Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru paused.

"I have _no_ idea what to expect," he continued stupidly. "My friend Miroku ran off to find Miss Sango before I could ask what this Sesshoumaru person looks like."

"Indeed?"

The boy nodded, "But he's Inuyasha's brother, so he probably has funny ears, nasty teeth, and a sort of," he curved his fingers, as if holding and invisible melon, "wide, fat-looking head." The human shifted, placing his elbows on his dusty knees in a pose that Sesshoumaru could only assume was meant to be conversational. "I have to tell you, though, I'm not expecting much." Sesshoumaru blinked at the human's confession. "I mean, Miroku seemed rattled enough, and if Sesshoumaru is anything like his brother, then he's a great fighter;" the human's face soured as he stared into the dust, "but also a bully and a loudmouth."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. Melting this fool with his poison-flower-claw would upset Rin, so perhaps the energy whip...

The human looked up, "I don't like to say bad things about people, especially behind their backs, but that's what Inuyasha is. He's a big bully who doesn't know what he..." the human's weak throat closed. "But I shouldn't hold that against the other guy, I guess. I mean..." a respectable dose of venom dripped from his voice and his pink hands tightened into fists, "It's not like this 'Sesshoumaru' stole my girlfriend or anything."

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Inuyasha closed his hand around Kagome's warm fingers. He didn't look at Kouga. Oh he'd have loved watching the thunderclouds form on that ugly wolfish mug as Kagome started to blush, but deep down, he knew that sneering at Kouga meant challenging Kouga, and the whole point was that there was nothing the fuck to challenge him about.

...and it wasn't like watching Kagome blush was so scarring.

"We had better find the others Kagome," he said quietly, still well within a wolf demon's hearing. "Let's go."

_Do what I tell you, Kagome. Show him that you're mine, Kagome._

Kagome nodded, her face still a little white. "I wouldn't want Sesshoumaru to catch any of them alone. We should get moving again."

Inuyasha smiled, only half in relief. She'd be mad as hell if she knew what he'd been thinking, but this was about making Kouga get the point and stop trying to take her away from where she belonged. This was the way things were, and if Kouga thought otherwise, then _he'd_ have to do the challenging. Then Inuyasha would promptly hand him his very badly beaten ass, and the matter would be done.

"Wait for me!" Shippo scampered toward Kagome, climbing up the girl's body until he was perched on her shoulder. Inuyasha stifled a scowl. He'd wanted to lead Kagome away by the hand. Kouga wasn't the sharpest claw in the den, and he really didn't want the stupid fuck to miss the point. Inuyasha could just tell the runt to scram, but then Kagome would get in his face about being mean to Shippo, and he didn't need for Kouga to see that.

Kouga was growling audibly by now. Kagome frowned and began to turn her head, but Inuyasha gave her fingers another careful squeeze.

Inuyasha fought down a smirk when she turned her confused eyes on him instead of the wolf turd, but he forced a regular smile instead. Kagome's lips tugged back tentatively. "I think Sango went that way," she said.

The dog demon smiled back, still not managing to make the move look natural.

_Fuck. I'm not cut out for this subtlety shit,_ Inuyasha admitted. _But the wolf turd seems to be paying attention, unlike all of the times I ground his stinking head into the dust..._ Although his entire body bristled at the idea, Inuyasha turned his back toward Kouga, tugging Kagome along with him. He swallowed his unwelcome nervousness as his confidence grew, and tried to tune out the way the girl's bow-calloused fingers felt against his skin. Very deliberately, he released her near hand, placing his palm against the opposite side of her waist, pulling her close, so that his arm banded diagonally across her back.

Inuyasha was so tuned in to Kouga's reaction, that he barely noticed the shadow pass behind Kagome's eyes.

"Kagome!" Kouga shouted angrily, stomping up behind them. "I can see that your friends need protection from the dog demon," he clipped pointedly, to Inuyasha's faint snarl, "but I will go with you."

"Kouga," she answered with an unusual calmness. "We'll be back on the road in a minute. Why don't you go find Miroku?"

"I'm not leaving you alone with him, Kagome!" Kouga rasped.

Inuyasha snapped in a breath to shout back, but Kagome spoke first, "It's all right, Kouga," she said with a disturbingly even smile. "Inuyasha's not going to hurt me. And he and I have something to talk about in private, anyway."__

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"And _then_ he called her a stupid human wench!" the boy exclaimed. "At least she stood up to him that time, though. She said that word thing and he hit the dirt like a sack of bricks."

"Continue," the dog demon urged.

"Well, there was another time when she yelled at him for picking a fight with Kouga," he shook his head. "She got all three of them, then. She sent Inuyasha into the dirt, slapped Kouga in the ear, and even gave Miroku a good swat."

The young demon lord smiled inwardly, imagining the foolish beasts and the wolf demon in such a predicament. "I wish I had seen it for myself."

"Yeah," the creature's empty head bobbed. "I have to wonder, though. What is it about me that she doesn't like?" he half-exclaimed. "I'm not mean enough? I don't call her bad names or boss her around all the time?" the human waved both pink hands in the air. "I don't like to boast, but I'm not such a bad guy. I've done nothing but treat her right since the day I met her. I don't _get_ it!"

Sesshoumaru could not explain why he had suffered the creature to bleat at him so – aside from the fact that he kept relating stories about his brother being made the fool that he was – but still the grubby humanling breathed the air and whimpered it back out again. He found the words slipping from his impassive lips. "You wish to know why the human girl did not become yours."

"Yes," the human nodded his head decisively. "I guess I do. Do you think you know?"

The dog demon felt his eyes narrow at the insult, but for some reason, he continued. "She does not choose you because you are weak. You can neither give her what she wants nor protect her from those who would do her harm." A smirk graced his lips. "Not that Inuyasha could accomplish either of those things."

The boy started to get to his feet. "Now wait just a—"

Sesshoumaru held up a hand. ...which, he noticed, still gleamed with poison. "You wished to know why, and that is why."

"Higurashi's not like that!"

Sesshoumaru gave the boy a cold glare. "All beings respect strength, and even the half-demon son of a human sow is higher than you are in that respect"

"People don't love because they have something to gain!" the lower being blathered on.

The demon lord paused. Yes... There were such creatures in the world. His eyes fell on Rin, patiently watching them. A bamboo water container and a tiny gift of fish rose in his mind. All beings were drawn to strength, but some of them could still give and expect nothing back. Sesshoumaru turned his gaze to the disheartened boy before him. Yes, there were such things in the world.

But for the rest, affection could be bought and traded, one more card to play when the weak sought protection from those greater than themselves. Even noble beings acted thus.__

Sesshoumaru pushed a pair of crimson eyes from his mind. "You have seen that the soul of the half-demon is cracked to its being with cruelty. You assume that he will turn this cruelty on her, but it is you he will destroy if you try to take her from him." A cold thought lifted the demon's sprit, and he wondered if the earth wolf's heart still beat.

"You're wrong about her," the boy answered. "And..." his throat moved, as if he were swallowing something thick. "And I guess you're wrong about Inuyasha too," he finished in a small voice.

The half-raised claws retreated.

"Explain yourself," came the command.

The human gave a slow shrug, staring at his feet in the dust. "He knows I like Higurashi, and he hates my guts. Plus, there was something else that I did that made him _really_ mad," he looked up. "I'm surprised he didn't kill me then. He could have, you know."

_He lies_, Sesshoumaru mused. _The half-demon is a beast. He knows no restraint of any kind._ "Then why did he not wrench your life from your body?" he probed.

The boy looked down again. "He said that he promised Higurashi," one odd-clad shoe nudged a pebble.

"And you doubt that he holds her in esteem?" Sesshoumaru demanded. "Don't be fooled by his coldness. Open affection is not in the nature of his bloodline. Inuyasha will allow no harm to come to the girl," a trace of bitterness escaped Sesshoumaru's control. "There is too much of his father in him for that." And that was enough of this. Rin looked up at him expectantly, and he motioned for her to come.

_Her elegant movements were marred by coarse words. "You're strong. I bet you could take out Naraku." And that was all._

"He will defeat her enemies," Sesshoumaru continued for no reason other than it pleased him to do so. "When she is wronged, he will avenge. Do not trouble yourself with petty appearances."

"But what good is that?" the boy had failed to notice that the conversation was over. "If he esteems her only in his own heart, and she never gets to know why?" The boy's voice rose, "If he thinks she's worth anything, then she deserves to know," the human insisted. "What good is the fact that he thinks highly of her, if he acts like she's just a pile of dust, and –Rin!" his tone shifted from accusatory to almost frantic. "Stop right now! Aren't you supposed to wait for that Lord Sesshoumaru guy? What if he's mad?"

The child covered her laughing with one hand. Sesshoumaru smiled inwardly. He did like it when she remembered that he enjoyed the quiet. And speaking of which... The demon lord's pointed ears twitched as the human behind them kept up his racket. His claws flexed, and poison gathered.

There was a small hand tugging at his robes. "What is it?" he asked simply.

Tiny teeth nibbled one pink lip as she looked to the human and back, "Lord Sesshoumaru?" she whispered. "Mr. Hojo was nice to Rin."

So the fool had a name? "Very well," he answered as the sense of poison faded away. A new energy built.

"Sir!" Hojo bleated again. "You really ought to leave her here. Her guardian is coming in a minute!"

Sesshoumaru turned around. "Did you presume to tell me what to do, human?"

"Well you shouldn't take her away without getting the permission of the proper..." the Hojo-boy trailed off. "Hey, what's that glowing thing?"

CRACK!

"—AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEE!"

The energy whip flared, and the human landed flat on his back. He made one loud squeak, and mumbled something vaguely like, "Next time, on Yu Yu Hakusho..."

Sesshoumaru walked, with Rin running a few steps ahead. Moments passed, and the trees closed in. The demon lord breathed carefully, seeking and finding Jaken's trail.

_"If he esteems her in his own heart, and she never gets to know why...!"_

_"I bet you could take out Naraku. I want an alliance, Dog Lord."_

_"Heed your own words."_

"My lord!" came Jaken's squeaky, reliable greeting. Sesshoumaru stopped moving, and allowed the lesser demon to prostrate himself in the customary manner, while Rin started playing with the hem of his robe. "Forgive your humble servant, Lord Sesshoumaru. I merely left the child alone while I chased after your disobedient steed, and as you can see, the human is quite unharmed." Jaken raised his head, "If you ask me, we should let her fend for herself more often, my lord!"

Sesshoumaru pulled the Staff of Skulls from his servant's grip and swatted Jaken in the head. Rin didn't hide her giggling this time.

"Of course not, my lord. Forgive me, my lord."

"Get up, Jaken."

"Of course, Lord Sesshoumaru!" the creature complied. "Ah Un is right around this next bend. Shall I tell him that we continue our search for the impudent half-demon, Naraku?"

_I will slay Naraku for my own reasons._

"No," Sesshoumaru paused.

_I will slay Naraku for my own reasons, but she should know that I shall avenge her wrongs as well._

"Tell him that we seek Kagura."

.

.

.

Kurama holds one hand over his mouth.

What did you think?

Both eyebrows stay up.


	36. Even If

"Now that reader interaction week is over," says Kurama, "perhaps you will now explain to me how you came to possess these photo negatives."

I bought them on eBay.

His eyes narrow. "Where did you really get them?"

eBay!

A cab pulls up.

The 1001st reviewer is here to visit.

"Is she bringing her kids?"

No.

"Fire-breathing livestock, perhaps?"

I don't think so.

A girl in Sesshoumaru makeup and an "I LOVE EBAY" T-shirt exits the cab.

"Somehow I'm not reassured," says Kurama.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

Kagome didn't see Inuyasha look over his shoulder, but both of his ears flicked, and a smirk grew on his mouth. A second later, his arm dropped from her waist, and Inuyasha flexed it in relief.

"Damn, my arm is stiff," he muttered, swinging it around in its socket. "I think Sango went this way when she decided to go sulking, Kagome," he pointed, jumping twenty feet ahead in one hop. His ears twitched. "But I don't hear anything. How far off did she feel like stomping?"

"I guess Kouga's out of earshot," murmured Shippo. Kagome said nothing.

"Yeah," Inuyasha muttered back. "Unless the stupid fuck's trying to sneak up behind us." The dog boy snuffled his infuriating nose and shook his head. "Nope." He chuckled darkly. "No scent of dead fleas or B.O. He probably went off to find Miroku like you told him to, Kagome."

Kagome nudged the kitsune cub off her shoulder and set him down on the moss. "Just give us a minute, Shippo, okay?" she asked.

The kit's demon-pale eyes got just a little bigger, "Are you two going to fight again?" he demanded.

Kagome opened her mouth to answer him, then closed it again, turning sharply to face Inuyasha.

Shippo edged back a bit.

"Why are you being such a jerk?!" Kagome hissed at the dog demon.

Inuyasha folded both arms, pointing his nose at the trees, "I don't know what you mean."

"You're being nice to me just to annoy Kouga!"

"No I'm not," he pouted.__

"So what was up with you holding my hand?" she asked. "You put your arm around me like it was prom night – and you stopped the minute Kouga couldn't see anymore!"

"Maybe I just felt like doing those things."

_Oooooooh, even Miroku does a more believable I-didn't-do-it._

"Yeah right," called Shippo. "You just like making Kouga mad, Inuyasha!"

"That's not why I did it," Inuyasha sniffed back.

"Oh," the kit dared hop a little closer, "so I guess you must have been lying every time you said Kagome was ugly?"

Inuyasha raised one hand, a half-ready retort in his mouth. His hand lowered slowly as the kitsune kept a perfectly straight face.

The dog demon's arrogant posture didn't change, but he suddenly looked like he'd just tried to swallow a whole ostrich egg. "I ... guess ... so," the words struggled from his throat.

"And what about all the times you called her stupid?" Shippo asked innocently. "I really don't see why you'd have been so nice to her if you thought she was stupid."

Inuyasha met Kagome's eyes. Kagome looked away.

_I'd be laughing like crazy if I weren't so mad._

"Sure, I was lying."

"And what about the time you called her a—"

"Shut up, brat! I said that I just felt like acting that way and that's the way it is!"

Shippo ducked Inuyasha's swipe and took refuge behind Kagome's leg. The girl paused. _But... _she wondered, trying to read the twitching messengers on his head,_ Could he be telling the truth? Maybe he really does like being with me..._

They _had_ almost had a real talk on the hillside before Kagura'd shown up. For a second there, when he'd let her touch his ears, it had almost seemed like they were sharing an intimate moment. ...albeit one that she could never gossip about in homeroom without the girls thinking she really did have four different kinds of brain fever.

Who knew what might have happened if they hadn't been interrupted with the battle and then the fight with Kouga and then... Kagome's thoughts suddenly turned thick and cold.

_I get it,_ she remembered miserably. _His meeting with Kikyo last night didn't go how he wanted, and I'm the second best thing, aren't I?_ Inuyasha's sulking face began to blur. _But only if Kouga-kun is watching!_

"Hey!" the wavy Inuyasha held out both hands. "Why are you crying, dammit?"

"I'm not crying!" Kagome sniffled. She blinked hard and the tear ran down her cheek.

"Yes you are; you can't fool me," he muttered back. "Okay," he answered. "I wasn't just being nice to you because Kouga was there. Are you happy?"

"No," she told him, wiping at one eye.

The dog demon sighed loudly. "_And_ I was lying every single time that I said you were an ugly weak stupid human girl. _Now_ will you turn off the waterworks?"

"_No!_" she fumed.

Inuyasha blinked. "Why not?"

"_You're such a moron!!_"

Shippo rolled his eyes, "You're so insensitive, Inuyasha."

"Stupid girl!"

"Paranoid!"

"Weak human!"

"Why did you hold my hand back there? Why do you want to make Kouga upset?"

The dog demon paused for a moment. "And if I tell you, you'll stop crying?"

_Fat chance._

"I'll try," she nodded.

Inuyasha folded his arms again. "Kouga thinks you're his!"

"So?" she asked. "Kouga's always thought that."

"So you're not his! He'll try to take you with him again!"

She stamped her foot, sending the fox cub rolling, "I wouldn't go, stupid!"

Inuyasha blinked, startled out of his pouting, "Huh?"  
"What, do you think I belong to whoever tosses me over their shoulder? Inuyasha, I don't go where you tell me to half the time! What makes you think that I'd just run along with Kouga? Oooooooh!" she seethed. "Kouga will get the idea eventually, but until he does, there's nothing we can do to make him—"

Two strong hands gripped her arms, and a pair of bright gold eyes blazed down into her face. "_You're not his,_" Inuyasha's words fell like the hammer onto glowing metal, half-formed, but bright "_He's not going to get the idea. You belong HERE._"

Kagome's breath froze. "In—Inuyasha?"

The dog demon swallowed hard, letting go of her arms quickly, as if he hoped she wouldn't notice that he'd grabbed them in the first place, "The minute Kouga realized that I wasn't just your little pet guard dog—" his voice broke off here and his ears twitched strongly and flattened back, almost as if he were trying to hide them. "He's going to do something to put himself back in control," he shook his head. "And I'm not going to let him."

"Inuyasha," she held out both hands. "Kouga's our friend! He's going to help us kill Naraku! Kouga wouldn't try to kidnap me, um," she stumbled, "again."

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow.

"I think he's got you there, Kagome," Shippo offered hesitantly.

Kagome felt her face go pink and looked away.

"If Kouga tries to take you away, I'll just stop him," Inuyasha's tone was just a little too casual to be anything but serious, "but no messing around. I'll kill him this time, and I don't want to see you shed even one tear over his lame ass," the dog demon turned away from her wide-eyed stare. "And I figure that means that I have to stop him from trying..." he muttered.

Kagome blinked. _That... That almost sounds like he was worried about what I'd think._ In a medieval, chauvinistic paranoid dog boy way, but still.

"Kouga's looking at me now, and not at you," Inuyasha went on. "If he tries to drag you off again, he'll pick a fight with me first. This way..."

She took a breath and let it out slowly. He was letting her see his motives. _How am I going to say this? I don't want him to hold me like that again just to get at Kouga, but..._

But I liked it when you touched me.

But I almost thought you meant it.

But I want you to do it for real.

"Let's just get back on the road, Inuyasha," Kagome reached out one hand. "Kouga's not going to try to kidnap me again, and even if he did, what then? He wouldn't hurt me. And his brothers wouldn't hurt me, not even if he told them to." Her eyes fell on Shippo. He'd held onto Kouga's tail all the way to the wolf cave. He'd been so scared... "He's got nothing to hold over me. Even if he took me away—" Kagome put the lightest feather-touch on his shoulder. If he noticed, he didn't show it. "—I'd just come right back."

Inuyasha shook his head. "You're too trusting, Kagome."

She shrugged, picking Shippo up off the moss and setting him back on her shoulder.

"News flash, Inuyasha," said the kitsune cub: "That's why she puts up with _you_ so much."

.

.

.

Welcome, crystal singer. Please have some pie.

"It is so good to see you again!!" greets Crystals.

Kurama frowns, "I didn't know that you knew my captor."

She means you.

"Really?" asks Kurama. "But I don't believe we've met."

But she's seen you.

"That's odd, because I don't remember..." he trailed off.

. . .

"Is that a high-speed camera?!" he demanded.


	37. Methods

"You are the one who took those pictures of me!" shouts Kurama.

"Um!" Crystals begins to panic.

"And you sold the negatives on eBay!"

I got a good deal, too.

"Hold your tongue!" insists Kurama.

"I guess this means you didn't get your cut," says Crystals.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

"I don't see anyone."

"I left him right here!"

"Hojo!" Sango gasped. "Oh no!"

Kirara let out a mournful mewl.

"Sesshoumaru must have come while I was seeking you," said the monk as he carefully approached the sprawled boy.

Kouga took in a deep sniff, catching sense of the Dog Lord everywhere. The wolf demon cleared the distance in one spring and nudged Hojo's still form with one foot. His clawed hand formed a fist. "Such a tragedy..." he graveled out, "...that the Dog Lord should slay this innocent, foolish creature." His eyes opened. "Ah well. Shall I call some of my wolves while he's still fresh?"

"He isn't dead, Kouga," Sango said dryly.

"Are you sure?" he asked. The human didn't reek of death – yet – but there was no way for _her_ to know that. "It would be a shame to waste a perfectly good—"

Hojo let out a moan. "...license plate..."

_Dammit. So much for getting rid of him THAT way..._

"Wake up, Hojo," Sango shook the boy's shoulder.

Miroku shook his head, "It looks as though Sesshoumaru let him off with just a severe beating."

Kouga grumbled something at the edges of human hearing.

Hojo sat upright with a quiet groan, "Miss Sango," he asked blearily. "Did the squeegee have your cat?"

"Huh?" she answered.

"Hm..." Miroku mused. "Spouting nonsense." The wolf demon heard the monk mumble, "more than usual," continuing. "He must have hit his head."

"Ah," Kouga answered, putting one hand on his sword hilt. "A slow and painful demise. I would be honored to take the boy's life and spare him the agony."

"He's going to be fine, Kouga," Sango answered through her teeth.

"Are you sure? I really wouldn't mind!"

"Sango is right," Miroku answered. "Hojo can be cured with far less drastic measures."

A tiny hint of a smile touched the human woman's face as Miroku took Hojo's chin in one hand and held the boy's head steady. "Thank you, Houshi-sama," she said simply, "At least someone around here knows how to show some—"

The monk drew back his hand.

SLAP!!

"_Houshi-sama!!_"

"I am only trying to bring the boy to his senses, Sango!"

"An excellent idea," said Kouga. "Let me try."

Sango's eyes narrowed as she reached out with her good arm and picked up a sturdy stick of wood.

"I swear to you, Sango," the monk was explaining, "my master, Mushin, always told me that a good blow to the head—"

THWACK!

"Ow!"

THUNK!

"_OW!_"

BONK!

"Ow! Miss Sango, what was that for?" asked Hojo, rubbing his scalp with one hand.

The taijiya blinked. "You mean he was telling the truth?"

"Hey! What's going on?"

Kouga looked up to see the kitsune brat blink wide-eyed from his perch on Kagome's shoulder, with dog turd right beside. The wolf prince held back a growl as he followed their three pairs of eyes to the two idiots on the ground, to the stick in her hand, to the bead-studded handprint on Hojo's face.

"What happened here?" asked Shippo.

Sango looked around, "Well—"

"Never mind," growled the dog demon. "We'd have been back on the road an hour ago if not for my stupid brother. Let's just gather up our stuff from lunch and _go_."

Kagome shot the dog demon a look – Kouga smirked – and then reached out to help the monk to his feet, "I don't think you have to explain either, Sango. There must be something in the air today. I don't know what it might—" Kagome's voice seized up, face going rigid. "_Don't you dare!_" she hissed at the monk.

"My lady Kagome," the monk protested in and innocent voice. "What is it that I should not dare to do?"

Kouga's mind went still as he figured it out, catching sight of the monk's left hand just a very short ways away from where it definitely shouldn't have been.

"Hey..."

"_Hey!_"

"HEY!!"

"Pervert," muttered Sango.

Shippo's high laughter interrupted Hojo, Kouga and Inuyasha. "Oooooh, hahaha! Miroku, you're not going to get away with _anything!_" The wolf prince growled. Dog breath's bad habits were more contagious than he'd feared if Hojo was copying him now _too_.

"Like that's going to stop him from trying," muttered Sango.

"I have always considered my indomitable spirit to be an asset to this group," Miroku managed to sound dignified despite the new red handprint that matched the bump on his head.

"Save it!" hissed the exterminator. The monk saved it.

Kouga shook his head. After he'd dealt with dog breath, then maybe he should see about getting Kagome to spend less time with this harpy. Kagome's assertive spirit was one of the things he adored about her, but there was such a thing as being too direct, he realized as he rubbed the bump on his head. "I swear, monk, that vixen hits harder than my Kagome, even with a wounded arm. Do all human men have to put up with this abuse?"__

Miroku shook his head and began to answer, "No, actually—"

He froze, and Kouga looked up catching sight of the glare on Sango's face.

The human amended his reply, "I mean yes, they—"

The exterminator's eyes narrowed.

Miroku turned to the wolf prince with a serene expression. "What abuse?"

Sango gave nod that the monk took to mean that the monk's answer was good enough and walked off after dog breath and Kagome.

.

.

.

Shippo might have been little, but he wasn't stupid. Kouga looked way too happy.

From Kagome's basket, he had a perfect view: Inuyasha would look at Kagome, then away. Then he looked back again. Kagome kept her eyes on the road in front of her as her feet moved up and down like little gears on the pedals of her pink machine.

Even the fox cub had to admit that Inuyasha's explanation hadn't been that bad. Shippo's tail bristled slightly as he hooked his little hands on the rim of the basket and leaned over for a careful look at the wolf prince. He hated to admit it, but Inuyasha was exactly right. After getting put down that badly, Kouga was bound to do something stupid any minute.

And if that "something" meant that Kouga would try to take Kagome away, and Inuyasha was ready to stop him, then Shippo would bite his tongue and hold in even the tiniest joke at the dog demon's expense. ...for least the rest of the day.

But ... Kagome'd said she wouldn't go. Could Sesshoumaru have made Kouga mad enough for him to forget that she wouldn't _want_ to get kidnapped again?

Shippo gave the wolf prince another look. For a guy who'd just gotten his tail kicked black and blue, the he was just way too smug.

This morning, Kouga had complained about how slow humans traveled, the "putrid stink of dog demon," and Hojo, but ever since they'd gotten back on the road, Kouga had been oddly cheerful, talking reasonably with Miroku and Hojo and smirking quietly at Inuyasha, who was pretending quiet valiantly that he hadn't noticed.

"Hi, Inuyasha!" Shippo twisted completely around to find Hojo bouncing up toward the dog demon. "I was just talking to Kouga over there. He's not so bad at all, is he? You two should really try to get along better."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "There's not much chance of that, Hojo," she said. Then her voice dropped and Shippo heard her mutter something with, "testosterone poisoning," in it.

Shippo turned around again in time to see the wolf prince smirk.

_Huh?_

Kagome started to speed up to catch up with Sango. Shippo looked from Inuyasha to Kouga and very quickly decided that he didn't want to miss this one. "See you later, Kagome!" he waved, and jumped out of the basket to make – if he did say so himself – a perfect landing on Inuyasha's head.

"Get off, brat!"

"No! I wanna hear!"

"Get—"

Kouga drew nearer as Hojo trotted off to catch up with Kagome.

"This is just the beginning, dog breath," muttered the wolf as Inuyasha knocked Shippo away.

"Hell," Inuyasha answered in kind. "If you want Hojo instead of Kagome, go right ahead."

"Wha—what?!" Kouga backpedaled. "No! I'm going to show my woman what a loser you are and then take her home with me!"

"No you're not!" shouted Shippo.

The dog demon gave a snort, "If making nice with Braindead over there is step one, then it'll take a million years to get near me, wolf turd."

Kouga's voice turned dark, "Kagome is mine, and _I_ will dispose of rivals!" announced Kouga. "I'll start with that human runt who, apparently, not even the son of the great Inutaisho can drive off!!"

"You stinking wolf!" Inuyasha seethed. "One, I only let him live because Kagome made me promise—"

Shippo blinked. "Is _that_ why?"

"—and two, _you_ swore on your tribe—"

"I only swore that I wouldn't kill him, dog breath," the wolf demon chuckled darkly as he walked off into the twilight. "Stop me if you can."

"I will!" Inuyasha growled, and turned away. Shippo watched as Inuyasha fingered the beads at his throat, muttering something that sounded like "ten ways no sips," whatever that meant. Inuyasha smacked one hand over his eyes. "This is not happening."

.

.

.

"Eeep!" squeaks Crystals.

No rose-whipping the guests!

Kurama brandished his weapon for another blow, "I neither gave permission nor accepted payment for those pictures you took of me. Stand and fight, demon photographer!"

"But your agent said everything was cool!" cried Crystals.

"My agent?!" demanded Kurama.

"I set it up with some guy named 'Kuwabara,'" said the guest. "You know, the notary public?"


	38. So Fast

"You are certain that it was Kuwabara?" insists Kurama.

"The guy said he was your agent; I swear!" said Crystals.

You are not the only person he has fooled, crystal singer. He convinced Kurama that he was a notary public.

"Thank you for repeating that in front of someone less unworthy than yourself."

You are welcome.

"Leave now and I will not harm you." says Kurama.

"Uh, thanks," mutters Crystals. "...say, can I—"

"You may not take the negatives or any articles of my clothing as your demented keepsakes."

"But—!"

Here's an 8 X 10 of him in Sephiroth's costume from Final Fantasy VII, crystal singer.

"What?!" demands Kurama.

"Thanks," says Crystals.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

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.

.

Ten days no sits. Ten days no sits. Ten days no sits.

Inuyasha had a headache. He named it "Kouga."

After half a day of trying to keep himself between Kagome and the wolf turd _and_ between the wolf turd and the human turd – a task made infuriatingly easier by the Hojo's demented idea that he was allowed within ten feet of Kagome – in addition to his usual duties of sniffing out trouble up ahead, heading off Miroku's not-so-innocent advances on the girls, and swatting Shippo out of the way once every two minutes, his dog-demon brain felt like it had been pulled apart by a horde of spider monkeys.

And _she_ wasn't helping.

"Hey Kouga, can you help me find a place to set up camp?"

"Grrr! No he can't! I'll do it!"

"Hojo, could you set up my cooking things?"

"Grrr! I'll do it!"

"Could someone help me with the—?"

"I'll do it!"

"I need a—"

"_I'll_ do it!"

"Could anyone—?"

"_I'LL DO IT!!_"

"Cram it! Fuck off! What are you looking at?!"

"Inuyasha seems oddly helpful today," Sango mused as the steaming dog demon did battle with Kagome's camp stove. He scowled down at a thin metal rod. Why did humans make their devices with so many parts?! He could think of any number of things to do with this infuriating sliver, but he wasn't sure he'd want his food near it after that.

"Usually, when Kouga's around, he's too busy fighting to be much use," contributed Shippo.

"Well I guess all that jealousy had to work in our favor some time."

"I guess so," Kagome replied in mild amazement. Inuyasha let out the thinnest of growls. Did they have to talk about him while he was _right there_? There was an echo of hollow plastic. "I'm going to go get some water from the stream."

Inuyasha dropped the... the whatever it was. "No you're not!"

"Inuyasha, I need clean water to make dinner. It won't take me fifteen minutes to get there and back"

"I'm not letting you out of my sight, Kagome."

Sango's eyes narrowed, "You are if you want her to make dinner."

Inuyasha ignored her. "Send Kouga," he said.

"He's getting firewood with Miroku."

"No he's not! It's a wolf demon trick!"

"Hey," Hojo chimed in. "I could go."

"You stay put!" he snapped back. "The last time you went off on your own, my asshole brother showed up."

"That was hardly Hojo's fault, Inuyasha," snapped Sango.

"Maybe not, but he's a proven idiot!"

"Hey!" protested Hojo.

"That explains why he fits in so well around here," murmured Shippo.

"It's okay, Inuyasha," soothed Kagome. Inuyasha humphed, but couldn't keep his ears from twitching. "I'll finish setting up the stove, and you can fill the canteens," she held out her plastic jug.

"No way!" he snapped back.

"Everything will be fine until you get back. I have Sango, Shippo and Hojo to protect me."

"A wounded human, a fluff-tailed rat, and don't get me started on _him!_" Inuyasha jabbed his thumb over his shoulder.

"Well..." Kagome thought aloud. "I could wait for Miroku and Kouga to get back."

Inuyasha scowled. This day really sucked.

"Never mind," he said. "You! He jabbed a claw at Hojo. "Remember what we talked about last night." Inuyasha allowed himself a sliver of satisfaction as Hojo's throat convulsed, as if he were trying to swallow his own tongue. The melon-soft brown eyes moved to the kitsune cub sitting quizzically on Sango's good shoulder and then back to Inuyasha. Hojo nodded. Inuyasha snatched the water containers from Kagome's hands and stomped off.

.

.

.

"That's funny, Kagome," Shippo frowned, as he hopped from her shoulder to the edge of the fire pit. "Don't you usually set up the stove yourself?"

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I tried to tell him that I was only asking what time he thought it was, but he kept interrupting."

The kitsune cub hung both arms, "He's hopeless."

.

.

.

There was nothing like paranoia to make two full water jugs seem light.

The growl seeped from Inuyasha's throat like acid as he hurried back to camp, hauling stream water in the plastic container. He hadn't wanted to leave Hojo and Shippo in the same place without the supervision of anyone who knew what Hojo'd done at the serpent nest, but he couldn't send Hojo away alone and retain any hope of a peaceful night, and he couldn't take the little punkass fox cub with him, not with Sango out of commission. He might have been an annoying little runt, but he would protect Kagome with everything in his weasely little arsenal. ...or at least make a hell of a noise trying.

Who knew what might have happened in the eight minutes he'd been gone? Hojo could have plotted a new way to get rid of Shippo without Kagome knowing it was him. Kouga might have come back! Hojo could have been a bleeding pulp! Kagome could have been—

Inuyasha froze at the unmistakable sound of crinkling plastic.

—making Ramen!

The water sloshed again against the cap and the remaining stretch of woods blurred and vanished beneath his feet.

"Eeep!" Kagome squeaked as Inuyasha materialized in front of her nose. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Is it ready yet?" he asked eagerly.

Kagome's big eyes blinked roundly, fingers still poised on the wrapper. "I was only getting it ready," she said. "I'm not going to start the ramen until the others get back," she answered with a nod at the deserted campsite.

Inuyasha looked down as she peeled the plastic from the sad wicker cake. "Oh..." he murmured as his headache flowed back like a wave. "Never mind then."

"Thanks for bringing the water." She smiled back at him. "I should really let this boil for a couple minutes anyway, just in case." She took the water container and filled the tiny pot. "Once everyone's here, dinner should be ready in ninety seconds!"

Inuyasha folded his arms and sulked. "I thought you said they were _instant_ noodles," he grumbled.

"Compared to regular ones, they are," Kagome shot back. "What's wrong with you today?"

"Nothin'," he replied, sticking his nose in the air.

"Come on, Inuyasha," she said, scooting closer, "you know I can tell when something's bothering you."

She sounded way to self-confident for Inuyasha's taste. "No you can't and nothing's bothering me anyway."

"Is it Kouga?"

"No."

"Is it Hojo?"

"No."  
"Is it that Sesshoumaru was here?"

"No!" he shot back.

"It's all of them, isn't it?"

Inuyasha only humphed, turning his pounding head away.

Kagome went quiet. It took a moment for Inuyasha to recognize. "Is it—"

"It's not her either."

"Oh."

The dog demon put one hand over his eyes and squeezed hard, thumb and middle finger pressing down over the temples. "My head just hurts. That's all."

"It's... it's been a long day," she trailed off.

He let out a short laugh behind his hand, "No kidding."

The dog demon sealed his eyes. He didn't know if it was the aggravation of dealing with Kouga and Hojo at once or just all the blows to the head he'd gotten in the past forty-eight hours, but it seemed as if every sound in the universe had collected just inside his skull.

"Sometimes it helps if someone else does it," she offered.

...and clearest of all of them was her heart beating. He didn't move his hand from over his eyes. "Does what?" he managed.

"Here," she answered, reaching up with both hands until she hand two fingers on either side of his head. Kagome just barely pressed down next to the throbbing place in his temples. Inuyasha cracked his eyes open to see her teeth catch on her bottom lip. She was watching his face for any sign of ..._anything_. From him, from _him_. There was just something about... This actually felt... _better_.

The dog demon barely felt his eyes slide shut again. He breathed in, letting his hand slide to one of her wrists.

"I can stop if this is making it worse," she offered.

If he said something, she'd stop, but if he didn't say anything, how would he get her to stop? "Uh uh," Inuyasha answered. ...actually, it wasn't quite that. The sound was different, too high-pitched, but it must have sounded enough like a "no."

"Okay, then," Kagome answered, moving her fingers in little circles. Inuyasha swallowed hard. From the back of his head, he seemed to remember something about everything being all right, and the world really not sucking all that much.

Kagome's fingers went still against the sides of his head. His right hand flexed gently on her left wrist. "Oh," she said in a low whisper that he was almost positive she hadn't meant for him to hear, "I totally shouldn't."

"Shouldn't what?" he asked, left ear giving an involuntary twitch. She'd stopped. Stopping was bad. Stopping meant that the bad head hurty thing came back. Inuyasha felt a keening noise build in the back of his throat. He squashed it. The last thing he needed was for Kagome to hear him whining like some kind of—

"Inuyasha... do you want me to, um..."

"To what?"

"'Cause if it bothers you, I don't have to."

"Have to what?"

"Nothing!" she almost squeaked. Inuyasha cracked his eyes open to see that she was blushing like a pink peach.

The dog demon was suddenly completely alert. "You were gonna—" his right ear gave a shuddering twitch. "Dammit!" He smacked one hand on top of it. "Kagome, you were gonna do that _...thing!_"

"Well..." she looked away, "yeah. I mean... The other day," she turned back to him. "It looked like you, you know..." Inuyasha stared into the smile that pulled at the ends of her mouth, "...liked it."

"So what if I—I mean... I did not!"

"You made the cutest little sound."

_Cute?!_

"I _what?!_" he pulled back onto his haunches. "Kagome, if you want a," the word soured in his mouth, "a little furry _animal_ to pet, then you can go home to that damned cat!"

"Oh," she threaded her hands in her lap, grin gone. "I'm sorry. I'll never do it again."

"No!" he jumped. She blinked. "I mean..! Uh..." How could things go from so good to so bad so fucking fast?

"I know..." she whispered.

Inuyasha blinked. "What do you mean, you—" The headache was back full-force. "Never mind. Just don't— I mean..."

"I get it..." Kagome trailed off. "The others should be back any second anyway."

"Yeah," he followed, wishing to any god that might give a fuck that his face would turn back to its normal color before they did. It was bad enough that Kagome had seen him like this, had heard him squeak like a love-starved pup. "Where are they, anyway?"

"Sango said she needed a minute alone. Shippo's with her. Miroku's getting firewood like I said."

"And the human?"  
"Hojo?" Kagome clarified. "Kouga came back. The two of them went off somewhere together. Kouga said he had something special to show him."

Gods existed. The blood shot out of Inuyasha's face.

Kagome looked up. "What?"

_This is not happening_.

.

.

.

You only said I couldn't sell your image on the internet.

"I don't care how scary Miss Almaseti is. I'm getting my lawyer."

I think we can work something out.

"Do you, now?"

Yes.

Kurama slapped a hand over his eyes.

That was supposed to be rhetorical, then?

"Yes."

Oh. I can tell you how to get that sneaky Kuwabara to behave.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this..."

. . ?

"I'm listening."


	39. Run Like Hell

How did it go?

"Loath as I am to admit it," says Kurama, "it went well."

FLASHBACK

"I didn't know we had a flagpole," frowns Kuwabara.

"We don't," says Kurama.

Yusuke narrows his eyes, "Those kind of look like those teddy bear shorts that got you beat up in gym class all those times, Kuwabara."

"They are," answers Kurama.

Kuwabara's eyes burst. "What?!"

"The ogres seem quite amused," comments Kurama. "I think we'll be even in a few minutes."

END FLASHBACK

Hooray.

"That boxer-stealing routine is a useful trick," admits Kurama.

Have a piece of special cake to celebrate.

"Very well. I've missed at least five meals because of this fiasco." He takes a piece. "So what makes it special?"

One of the readers told me to make it with special ingredients.

"That doesn't sound so bad."

They're called, "sedd-ah-teeves."

Kurama chokes.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

"I think there's some more dry wood under here, Miroku!" Shippo lifted the edge of a newly fallen log as the firecat trilled her agreement.

"Thank you, Shippo, Kirara," answered the monk.

"With what you and Kouga gathered earlier," said Sango, bundling some branches under her good arm, "this should be more than enough to keep us through the night."

"Sango, you shouldn't be carrying those until your arm is healed," he answered immediately. At the last minute, he added a Concerned Frown with Head Half-Bowed.

"I'm fine Houshi-sama, really."

"I must insist, Sango," he said, careful to keep his tone Firm, Yet Urbane. "Your arm must be given proper time to heal."

The barest flush of pink appeared on Sango's cheeks as she feigned great interest in the sticks she'd gathered.

Miroku chuckled inwardly. Hojo might have his boyish innocence, natural talent, and genuine interest in the welfare of other human beings, but Miroku had spent years training under one of the best-informed holy men of all time.__

_"Remember, boy, the smart ones take special treatment. Usually, I'd tell you to lay it on as thick as it comes, but the clever ones will see right through any flatteries that are less than half true. Ah, and it helps to make the compliment fit the woman."_

"After all," he continued. "Where would the rest of us be if you were robbed of your—" Impeccable? Unsurpassed? Damn-hot-in-that-armor? Consummate? "—your _invaluable_ skill with the hiraikotsu?"

"I suppose you're right," Sango agreed, handing him her load.

_"But Master, if they are so much trouble, why not just pick regular girls?"_

_ "For one thing, smart women tend to have smart sons. I'd take it as a personal favor if you wouldn't leave some other high monk with an idiot such as yourself as his only apprentice. For most momentary stops, a young lady of less accomplished attributes might be a better choice, but if you're shooting for the long term – a month or more – you'll want your companion to know more than how to tell one end of your dick from the other. Believe it or not, too much of even that particular good thing can become troublesome. There was one time when I was snowed in at this nunnery in the mountains..."_

"Miroku?" chirped Shippo.

"Ah, forgive me," he apologized. "I became lost in thought for a moment."

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out what occupies your mind, Priest," Sango answered darkly. "Next time, could you fix your eyes somewhere other than my chest?"

"Eheh..." Miroku trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. "Oh no, Sango. I was just staring into space!" He took a step back. "Besides, now that you've fixed that tear in your yukata, I can't even—"

"_What_?!"

"Oops..." the monk murmured as the displeased exterminator bore down on him like a shark on a juicy fish."I have got to stop saying those things out loud..."

_"You'll only run into trouble if she's smarter than you are. When that happens, run like hell."_

"So anyway," he snatched up as much of the dry wood as he could safely reach, "I'd better be getting these back to camp. Thank you both for keeping me company." He turned and fled.

"Come back here, pervert!"

"If it's all the same to you, Sango, I think I—"

Miroku looked up from his armload of firewood at a very familiar sound. "Quiet!" hissed the kitsune.

"—last time! Go back to the camp and wait for me there."

"No way!" Kagome's voice shot through the branches, "What is going on?"

"I'll take care of it. Now go!"

"A minute ago, you couldn't leave me alone!"

"If he's in my sight, then I'll know he's not with you. Besides, if you're there—"

"You're being paranoid."

"I thought you wanted this Hojo idiot to stay alive."

The monk sighed, but not out of concern. From experience, he had learned that it was when the two of them _stopped_ arguing that something was seriously amiss. "What seems to be the matter?" he called out, making his way toward them through the brush.

"Ooooh," Shippo pouted. "I wanted to hear what they were saying.

"Miroku, is that you?" Kagome called back, just as Inuyasha shouted, "Oy, monk!"

"Help me talk some sense into—"

"—him."

"—her!"

Miroku sighed, passing one beaded hand in front of his face before parting the last of the low-hanging branches, Sango just behind him. "I thought you two were going to stay with the camp," Sango volunteered.

"We were until Kagome let melonhead run off with stinkrag," shot the dog demon.

There was a pause.

Kagome sighed, "He means that Hojo went out for a walk with Kouga."

"Oh," Miroku acknowledged. "That probably isn't good."

"But Inuyasha," Sango chimed in, "didn't you make Kouga promise not to harm Hojo?"

A look of surprise filled Kagome's open face. "You did?"

"No," Inuyasha snapped defensively, "only that he wouldn't kill him."

"Well, still!" Kagome replied. "It was really thoughtful of you to do that."

The dog demon shrugged, "It was nothing, really."

Miroku hid a smile as Inuyasha's posture softened just a bit. Perhaps there was hope for the untrained ruffian after all.

"I mean," the dog demon went on, "I was grinding the stupid wolf's head into the gravel anyway, so I figured I might as well get him to do something."

Or not.

"Inuyasha," said Kagome, holding out both hands in her best let's-be-reasonable pose, "what makes you think that Kouga is going to break his promise and do away with Hojo?"

"You want to know?" he shot back. "The wolf turd _telling _me so; that's what!"

Miroku cringed. "Wrong answer," he muttered. Sango gave an affirmative nod.

Mushin's words sprung to mind._ "So when the pass cleared, I snuck out at false dawn before mother superior could have me brought back. Anyway, what were we talking about? Ah yes. Smart girls HATE it when they don't get to decide things. Now I'm not saying that you should let clever women in on your plans – they're no more to be trusted than clever men – I'm saying that when you do keep her in the dark, never—"_

Kagome's tone was level and still, like a bomb in its last moments, "And just when did this happen, Inuyasha?"

_ "—never—"_

"This afternoon, Ms. Know-It-All!"

_ "—never let her find out about it."_

BOOM!

"And _why_," Kagome demanded, "did you think it was a good idea to not tell me about this?! For heaven's sake, Inuyasha, I could have warned him! I could have convinced Kouga not to do it! I could have done _something!_"

"Well, I—"

"Oooooooh!"

"Wait!" Sango cut in. "Kouga said that he was going to kill Hojo-san? In those words?"

"He said he would 'dispose of' him, Sango," volunteered Shippo.

"You knew about this too?" Kagome demanded.

Shippo cowered. "Kinda'..."

"Inuyasha, I can't believe you would keep this from—"

"_Does anyone realize that we're sitting here arguing while Hojo-san might already be dead?_" hissed the taijiya.

Deep down, there was one infinitesimal part of Miroku that was totally honest. _Yes_, it said, it screamed, it danced on the stupid toad-breath's interloping grave. The rest of Miroku, however, was much more interested in not getting pummeled by Sango, "You are right," it said. "We should find him immediately, and settle the rest later.

"He's right," Inuyasha agreed. "Kagome, go back to the camp with Sango."

Miroku blinked. "What?"

"What did you say?" hissed Sango.

"And wait by the fire until the big strong men return?" Kagome demanded. "First you don't _tell_ me what's going on, and now that I know—"

"Kouga won't back down if you're there," Inuyasha cut in.

Kagome froze in mid-tirade. "Huh?"

"If you are there, Kouga won't do anything that makes him look weak," finished the dog demon. "...at least not on purpose. I'll have to kick his ass into fertilizer before he'll let go of the human."

"He's right, Kagome," chirped Shippo, hopping decisively onto Inuyasha's shoulder, and folding both little arms. "This is an issue that has to be settled between men."

Inuyasha flicked him off. "So what makes you think that you're going, runt?"

"Why you—!" the kitsune jumped up and started to gnaw viciously on one of Inuyasha's forearms as Kagome's eyes narrowed.

"Sango," she asked, "is he making that up?"

A tiny but explosive sigh left the exterminator's throat. "No," she said at last.

"Thank you. Now go back to the camp," Inuyasha demanded.

"No!"

The dog demon seemed to think for a minute. "Fine," he said. "You and Sango can take Kirara and look for them in that direction, and Miroku and I will go—"

"That's not the way they went, Inuyasha!" she seethed. "Besides, if Kouga doesn't want to look bad in front of me, then why kill Hojo while I'm there?"

"Because he—"

"And you said not half an hour ago that being with you was safer than being with Sango and Kirara— No offense," she shot to the taijiya.

"None taken," answered Sango, as the firecat tipped her head in agreement.

"But they—"

"And Kouga _does_ usually do what I ask him to."

"But when—"

"But nothing, Inuyasha, _I'm going!!_"

_"Every once in the while,"_ Miroku remembered Mushin saying as he watched Kagome verbally force Inuyasha into a corner. _"You'll run into a girl who can match you at almost any trick you can pull."_

The monk covered his mouth to hide a smile. Yes, the dog demon was certainly outdone as far as logic was concerned. ...not that that was usually a challenge.

_ "What should I do then, Master?"_ he recalled as Inuyasha hefted Kagome onto his back for the run toward Kouga and Hojo.

_ "Do?" Mushin had asked. "Whatever the hell she wants, usually."_

.

.

.

"Wha..." Kurama comes to. "Where am I?"

You're boring when you're asleep.

"You will never know how glad I am to hear it."


	40. Thrown

"Never do that again," says Kurama.

Do what?

"Never offer me food containing sedatives, mood-altering drugs, poison—"

Cilantro?

"—anesthetics, unknown mystical substances, or anything to which you know I am allergic."

Okay.

"What kind of sedative was that, anyway?"

This kind.

"...This bottle is labeled "Sedd-ah-teeve.""

Is it?

"In crayon!"

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

"I can hear two voices up ahead," Shippo piped in a small whisper.

"Me too," breathed the dog demon.

Kagome's arms tensed on Inuyasha's shoulders as she tried to lean forward. There wasn't much light under the trees this late in the afternoon, but she could just barely see something moving in the shadows. His head turned toward her just a bit as her weight shifted, but he didn't tell her off for wiggling or for throwing him off-balance or jabbing her elbows in his neck. Kagome bit her lip. Did that mean he was less angry or more?

"Can you make out what they're saying, Inuyasha?" asked Sango.

"No," he answered, "the stream is—" Inuyasha cut off, looking at something up ahead.

The branches parted, the air cleared, and two struggling figures leaped into visibility on the bank. Before a shattered heartbeat could pass, one shadow-streaked hand caught hold of the other figure's shoulder, jamming his arm behind his back and sweeping his feet out from under him in one motion. The second figure toppled, face-down, into the dust.

Sango gasped, "Hojo!"

The first figure darted clear. The second figure pushed its upper body off the ground with a grunt of pain.

Kagome froze, dumbfounded. He'd actually done it! _Kouga..._ her heart clenched as the half-prone figure on the streambank gave a twitch. _You can't have really done this!_ A tear swelled at the corner of her eye. _Don't tell me that you hurt Hojo because of me. _She drew in a breath, dring one eye against her shoulder. _I guess...._ Kagome reached for the quiver on her back. _I guess I have to stop you. Please, Kouga, don't make me..._

The second figure leaned back, slowly bracing his feet beneath his body. His attacker waited as he drew himself upright, brushed a clod of dust from his eye and...

...pointed at him with one clawed hand. "That wasn't bad," said Kouga, "but you need to tuck in your elbow more. I nearly hit your ankles instead of the ground."

Kagome's hand froze on the fletching.

_Huh?_

"Really?" Hojo asked sheepishly. "I thought I had it that time."

"Just try it again." The wolf prince took up a starting position. "Attack me!"

"Alrighty!" Hojo complied.

Shippo hopped down from Kirara. "Inuyasha," he asked, looking up at the dog demon, "wasn't _Kouga_ supposed to be beating up _Hojo_?"

There was no response. In fact, Kagome realized, the dog demon hadn't so much as twitched since Kouga and Hojo had come into view. The girl carefully slid off his back and tried to get a better look at his face.

"Inuyasha?" His eyebrows didn't come down from hiding in his hairline, his mouth didn't close; his posture didn't change. The dog demon stood there, half-doubled, like a dodo seeing the inside of a net for the first time. Inuyasha had been shocked stupid.

Hovering dumbly next to Kirara, the monk's reaction was just the same: Eyes wide, hands numb, throat silent. Shippo waved one little arm in front of Miroku's face, to no response. "I think they might be broken, Kagome."

Sango effortlessly found her feet as the firecat transformed. "Is..." she asked, "is Kouga giving him lessons?"

"Oof!" The wolf prince's voice filtered across the clearing again. "I said tuck in that elbow!"

"Sorry!" chirped Hojo.

"Looks like," Kagome answered quietly.

"I don't believe it..." the exterminator stepped forward for a better look. "I hadn't thought that Kouga would break his word not to kill Hojo, but for him to actually _help_ him is—" she cut off, eyes going impossibly wide as both her hands froze in the air.

"Sango!" gasped Kagome. "What did you see?" her eyes squinted desperately at the two figures in the dusk.

Her question evaporated as the taijiya turned around sharply, striking the still-dazed monk in the face. "Pervert!"

Miroku seemed to shake himself. "What?" he asked, and then looked down at his left hand, rubbing gingerly at his face with the other. "Oh, I see..."

"No, no, no," Kouga's voice drifted toward them. "Here. Let me show you."

"Okay," answered Hojo.

"This doesn't make any sense, Kagome," whispered Shippo. "Why would Kouga give Hojo fighting lessons?"

"Now pay attention this time," said the wolf prince.

"Alright, so I–Ieeee!" Hojo flew through the air like a crippled pigeon, right down to the sound he made on impact.

"Ooooooh," breathed the kitsune.

Miroku shook his head, "Why didn't I think of—"

Sango's eyes narrowed.

"—some way to prevent all this fruitless violence?"

"Whooaa!" came Kouga's shout.

"I got it!" cried Hojo.

"Not bad..." Kouga managed. The wolf prince got to his feet, cricking his neck with a loud pop. "Let's try it again."

Kagome shook her head. "That can't be the only reason he's doing this."  
"It's not," Inuyasha spoke at last.

Kagome took a step closer, watching Inuyasha's face from the side. His eyes hadn't left the pair as they sparred in the dying light.

"Watch that throw again." He pointed.

Kagome's eyes tracked the arc of Kouga's body as Hojo threw him. Her brow creased.

"I see," Sango nodded slowly. "I suppose all the moves he showed him today are like that. I wouldn't have thought that Kouga would try something this subtle."

"It was either that or admit that his whole tribe smells like pig slop, _after_ it's been used." Inuyasha shrugged. "I'm surprised coming up with this didn't make his brain overheat."

"Try what? All I see is—" Kagome watched as Hojo flipped Kouga over his shoulder. A slow pattern began to form in front of her eyes. "Oh," she said out loud. She bit her lip against the disappointment rising in her throat. _Kouga..._ "I think I get it." She pushed some steel into her voice. "Excuse me a minute, guys. Kouga needs something to explained to him."

"You stay here," Kagome's next three words came with a growly echo free of charge.

"I mean it," said Inuyasha.

"So do I." Kagome narrowed her eyes. Inuyasha narrowed his right back. "Inuyasha, if you go out there, Kouga will growl at you the whole time and not hear a word I say."

"I'm not letting you near him alone, Kagome!"

"For the last time, Inuyasha; Kouga's not going to hurt me! He wasn't hurting Hojo, was he?"

"Here," Kouga's voice carried a hint of delight. "Let me show you again..."

"Aaaaaaaaaaa—ow! ...Thank you, Kouga," said Hojo.

"You are _so_ welcome, Hojo," the wolf answered with glee.

Inuyasha folded his arms.

Kagome scratched the back of her neck with one hand. "Eheh..."

.

.

.

"Hello, Kagome," Kouga had wrapped his two hands around the girl's before they'd taken five steps out of the woods. Miroku watched him carefully. His eyes didn't go quite as limpid as usual; his voice didn't have the same depth of dark-romantic timbre that made his professional spirit so jealous. Kouga was nervous.

"Having fun out here, Kouga?" Inuyasha clipped as he swatted the wolf away from Kagome. A sneer built on those gleaming fangs. "You must be even weaker than I thought if a puny excuse for a human can toss you around like that."

"It was a training session, dog breath," Kouga sneered back, "not that I'd expect you to figure that out." The wolf folded his arms, but he couldn't hide the tang fighting its way into his usual reek. He knew his number was up. Inuyasha growled.

Kouga growled back.

Inuyasha growled back louder.

And so forth. This wasn't getting anywhere.

And then, there was _him_.

"I didn't know you could move like that, Hojo-san." There was just a hint of flush in Sango's cheeks.

"Well..." the youth blushed back. "I used to play basketball for a while, so I—URK!"

Miroku grabbed the back of Hojo's dusty collar and pulled him along. There was no sense in delay. After all, _someone_ had to tell the kid what Kouga was really up to. The monk sighed. It was a task that would require patience, subtlety and understanding.

Too bad.

"Inuyasha," he called over Kagome's frantic efforts to keep the encounter from degenerating into another standard wolf vs. dog boy pounding. "There's something you have to do."

"I'm a little busy right now, monk," Inuyasha answered as he tried to duck past Kagome's waving arms and take a swipe at Kouga's face. "Damnit, girl, get out of the way!"

"No!"

"That's it, my Kagome," chimed Kouga. "Now let me get rid of this useless dog, and we can—"

"No!"

"But you didn't even hear what I was going to—"

"_NO!_"

"Miroku, you can let go of me now..." gagged Hojo.

"You'd _better_ let go of him now!" hissed Sango.

"Oh yes..." Miroku complied. "Of course. I beg you to excuse the rest of us, Hojo, but Inuyasha has something very important to tell you."

"He does?"

"I do?"

"What?" Kagome pulled away from the wolf demon. "Yes! Yes he does. We'll see you back at camp, Hojo." If Miroku had blinked, he would have missed it, but he thought he saw Kagome mouth the word "sit!" at the fuming half-demon.

When Inuyasha growled loudly, he was certain of it. Miroku fought down a smile. If there was anything that Inuyasha hated more than getting sat, it was getting sat in front of Kouga. The monk gave a silent prayer of thanks as the dog demon dragged Hojo off.

"Kouga," said Kagome turning back to the wolf. "I think we need to have a talk about something called 'responsibility.'"

"What can you mean, my Kagome?"

Miroku had to hand it to him: Sango was facing him from one side, hiraikotsu held at skull-scarring ready in her good arm; there was a skilled – and quite handsome – monk with a kaza ana on the other; and there was a bow-bearing and obviously very ticked-off priestess not two feet from his nose, and the wolf prince managed to look only a little nervous the whole time.

"About those moves that you were showing Hojo?" Kagome asked.

"What about them, my Kagome?"

"Let's talk."

.

.

_Stupid girl!_ Inuyasha seethed. How was he supposed to intimidate Kouga into leaving her alone if she kept threatening to make him eat gravel? _How the hell did I get myself into this?_ he wondered, but the answer came quickly: He'd made Kagome that stupid promise to get the snot-ass loser home with the right number of organs.

No... Not really. His current situation probably had much deeper roots than that. Kagome had pushed him to spare Hojo the same way she'd stubbornly kept him from killing Kouga every time he came sniffing after her. She'd done almost the same thing the day they'd met Miroku and every other goddamn time he let her con him into a freebie demon-slaying for some stupid human stickpit.

Inuyasha scratched his chin. That wasn't it either. His problems had really started when he hadn't ditched her and gone after the jewel on his own.

Come to think of it, had he really _needed _to ask her to pull that damn arrow out of his chest? The Goshinboku wasn't such a bad place to spend eternity. He half wished he were back there now.

"So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about, Inuyasha?" Hojo asked out loud as the two of them walked into the empty camp.

Inuyasha held in a growl. He'd _wanted_ to stomp on Kouga's pointy little head until he'd cried like a baby pus demon, but nooooo...

The dog demon eyed the fool human. He was way too happy for a guy covered in dirt and dust, with at least half a dozen wolf-inflicted bruises coming. Truth be told, it was a little bit creepy.

"I need to get back to Kagome before wolf turd does something stupider than normal, so I'll make this quick," he said. "You know those moves Kouga was showing you just now?"

"Uh huh," answered Hojo.

"You can't use any of them in a real fight," he explained. "You'd get killed."

Hojo didn't answer. Something seemed to tense along the boy's jaw.

"The throw technique left your neck wide open," Inuyasha went on. "Even a human opponent could have taken you out in a heartbeat."

Hojo opened his mouth and then shut it again. Inuyasha's brow creased and a growl built up in his throat. _Hell, does he think I'm making this shit up?_

"Don't you get it?" he insisted. "Kouga's trying to get rid of you! This way he can pretend to Kagome like it wasn't his fault!"

The human took a breath, "Inuyasha—" he began.

"What?!" he demanded.

"I _KNOW!!_" Hojo shouted back, throwing both arms in the air. "I knew that the whole time!"

"You..." Inuyasha blinked. "You what? _How?_"

Hojo's folded his arms, his completely plain brown eyes shooting straight across at the young demon's. "Come _on_, Inuyasha," he insisted. "I'm not _stupid!_"

Something was very wrong. Inuyasha found himself trying to stop the choky sounds coming out of his throat, only it wasn't working.

"Kouga's in love with Kagome," Hojo began. "So he has to get rid of me. He can't do it himself, because even if he didn't get toasted with this thing," Hojo jabbed a thumb at the talisman at his throat, "Kagome would still figure it out sooner or later, and there are some things that even _she_ wouldn't forgive. However," Hojo went on, "Kouga's not too bright—"

Air escaped Inuyasha's lungs in something between a snort and a squeak.

"—so if I go along with his stupid plan, he will think that it is working, and then _he won't try anything else!!_" Hojo exhaled sharply, sending a puff of dust Inuyasha's way. The boy took one deep breath and then another, closing both eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, the smile was back, "Or at least that's all I could get on my own. You've known him longer than I have. What do you think? Did I miss anything?"

Inuyasha's universe had gone completely still. He'd spent the past three days weaving his way through everything from nests of demons to Kagome's mood swings and... and...

_The... ...HELL?!_

"I'm sorry..." Hojo was saying as he absently dusted off his clothes. "I don't usually lose my temper. It's just..." he looked up into the branches. "The past couple of days have been kind of rough, you know?"

Inuyasha forced his jaw to unclench. He was going to need it to bite someone's head off, and he was going to need all of his concentration to convince himself that that someone shouldn't be the vapid weasel in front of him.__

"You have no idea," he answered.

.

.

.

Kurama clenches the bottle with white knuckles. "There is nothing in here but nutmeg and some orange zest."

That explains its fruity goodness.

"But not why I passed out."

Maybe you were tired.

"Do you really think I would deliberately fall asleep within four hundred yards of you?"

Why not?

"Give me back my shorts."

Okay.

She hands over blue boxers with rose thorn pattern.


	41. There Are No Stupid Questions Only Stupi...

(bows to dani)

If you do not like it here, why do you keep coming back?

"I want you to come somewhere with me," says Kurama.

Like a date?

Kurama covers his eyes with one hand.

. . ?

"No."

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

The monk and the others had returned to camp to find Inuyasha still dumbfounded by Hojo's unexpectedly competent response to Kouga's tricks. Once they'd managed to get the story out of him – with Kouga carefully out of earshot – Miroku had to admit that...

...that he wasn't nearly as surprised as he should have been.

_When I found him in the woods with Rin, it took very little explanation before he developed a plan that brought him through the encounter alive._

The boy was actually learning. Miroku could admit to himself that not every part of himself was happy about it, but there it was.

Learning meant adapting, and adapting meant staying, and staying meant—

Sango suddenly laughed out loud. Miroku looked toward the fire. There was Hojo, Kirara lying tummy-up in his lap as those uncallused fingers obscenely rubbed her pale fur. Why wasn't she biting him? Kirara didn't let men rub her soft belly. She wasn't that kind of girl! She was supposed to yell "PERVERT" and give him a good slap in the—

Miroku shook his head. He'd come out here to regain his focus, and it did not seem to be working.

Inuyasha was hunched down by the flames, scowling steadily at Kouga. The monk pressed his lips together. Kouga had at first denied that he had ever wished Hojo harm, but that hadn't lasted. The wolf prince might not have had Miroku's finesse, but he knew when his scam was up.

Kouga had been contrite. Too contrite, gallantly asking Kagome for her forgiveness and – at her insistence – making a grandiose apology to Hojo once they returned to camp. The whole thing had been completely staged and badly acted, but it had satisfied Kagome and Sango. Inuyasha, however, had been furious to find that the wolf demon had gotten off so lightly. He'd planted himself firmly between Kouga and Kagome and hadn't budged all night.

_I wonder how he will manage to sleep with Kouga sharing our camp._ His thoughts quickly turned into a chuckle as he answered his own question. _Sleep?_ Damn but Inuyasha was going to be difficult to live with for the next few days.

Miroku closed his eyes and returned to his meditation, using some of Mushin's less interesting lessons .

Time passed.

He felt the breath flow in and out of his body.

Time passed.

He felt the bitter tightness seep out of his muscles.

Time passed.

He felt the soot clouds move slowly away from his thoughts and the resentment from his heart.__

Time—

"Hey, Miroku!"

Never mind. They were back in. Oh look: They'd brought friends.

"Oh. Hello Hojo." Miroku opened his eyes.

"Look..." the boy stared at his feet for a moment. "I'm sorry to interrupt—"

"Oh, think nothing of it."

"—but I wanted to ask you a question."

Miroku frowned. For some reason, he wasn't as offended as he should have been. The monk filed the feeling away. He would have time to examine it later.

"Go ahead," he told the boy. Miroku leaned back into a more conversational sitting position.

"It's about that girl," Hojo's expression was a tiny bit apologetic, but very earnest.

The monk shook his head in honest confusion, squinting back at the two lovely silhouettes by the flames, "What girl?" he asked.

"The one from last night," Hojo explained.

"Ah," Miroku nodded his head, understanding.

_"There are many dangers in this world, Miroku,"_ one of Mushin's more sober lessons had gone. _"Once a man has seen death, he may look to the spirits or to Buddha to make sense of it, and to his followers for wisdom and meaning."_

"You have a lot to think about," Miroku set his jaw thoughtfully. His lessons suggested that he say something about life, death and eternity at this point, but... His curiosity got the better of him. "Tell me though," he asked, "of all the things that have nearly killed you since you got here, why ask about Kagura? I would have thought Kouga or Inuyasha. Now that I remember, I was pretty mad at you too for a while—"

"Kagura?" Hojo blinked, confused.

"The woman from last night," the monk repeated. "She... nearly killed you with some invisible wind blades and reanimated serpent demons? Surely you remember."

"Oh, her," Hojo shrugged. "I meant the other girl from last night."

Miroku blinked again. There had been plenty of young women at that impromptu festival, but they'd all seemed to _like_ the boy.

_"Of course, death is not the only thing that people will ask you about."_

Then again, the feast _had_ been thrown in Hojo's honor. Perhaps he was seeking insight into a near-death experience of another kind...

"You know," the boy continued, breaking Miroku's reverie, "that girl from last night. Miss Kikyo."

.

.

.

Now he knew why humans liked walls.

Even this morning it still hadn't made sense. Sure, they kept the heat in – sort of – and kept the bugs out – sometimes – but most of the time those stupid little partitions didn't do anything but block out the air. What was it about them that made humans feel so deceptively safe?

But any minute now Kagome was going to yawn, showing every one of those pretty little teeth, and say it was time for bed. For some reason, the idea of Kagome falling asleep within ten miles of the flea-flecked wolf demon had bothered him a hell of a lot less when there had been an inch and a half of wood between them. Inuyasha shook his head. When he'd started hanging out with humans, he hadn't thought that he'd catch any of this stupid crap.

Kouga had gone off somewhere, probably to ask Miroku if he'd brought the rest of that stenchy lighter fluid from the village. Sango was propped up against a fully-formed Kirara while Shippo dozed by what was left of the fire.

Inuyasha's eyes snapped up as Kagome yawned, showing every one of her pretty back teeth. "Time for bed..." she muttered, sliding over to her backpack and unhooking that fluffy bedroll. She brought the back of her wrist to her mouth and yawned again. Inuyasha rose to his feet, quietly stepping into place as she steadied the bottom edge of the bedroll with her knees and started to unroll the smooth nylon.

...straight onto his feet.

Kagome shifted her legs into a kneeling position and looked up. "Inuyasha?" she asked. "I'm trying to get ready for bed."

The dog demon folded his arms. "What are you going to do to Kouga?"

She shrugged. "He tried to hurt Hojo so he has to sleep in the woods by himself tonight." She blinked her hooded eyes. "If you ask me, it was very grown-up of him to admit that he was wrong."

"That's because he sleeps by himself in the woods all the time!" Inuyasha shook his head. "Scavengers aren't going to go after him and the smell takes care of the mosquitoes."

"I know..." she yawned again. "But Kouga wouldn't really have let Hojo get himself killed with those moves, so it's no big—"

He dropped down to his haunches, putting his bright, angry eyes half an inch from her tired ones. "What's it going to take," he bit out the whisper, "for you to realize that Kouga's not some ...some cute little _puppy_ for you to play with?"

Kagome's eyes went a little bigger. She covered her mouth with one hand as her upper body began to shake. Inuyasha cringed, "Dammit!" He held out both hands. "That's nothing to cry about! All I said was—"

The girl let out a snort.

"Huh?"

Her breath hitched and she started to giggle.

"Dammit!" he fumed. "I'm serious!"

"I'm sorry," Kagome quieted down. ...for about two seconds. "It's just..." she pressed both hands over her mouth to hold the sound in.

He growled under his breath. _What the hell is she laughing about? I just said that..._

Inuyasha had a sudden mental image of Kouga's head on a fluffy little Shippo body.

"I just pictured Kouga as a—" Her mouth puckered as she held her hands about a foot apart. "—as a little dog, you know, the little yappy kind?" her breath broke into giggles.

He held onto his scowl with an iron grip.

"Going 'arf! arf!'" Kagome tipped her head back, laughing without ever opening her mouth.

_Stupid girl_, Inuyasha growled softly. Making him think she was upset when all it took to make her laugh was yappy little Kouga chasing his tail in circles.

Yappy little Kouga barking at all the bigger dogs.

Yappy little Kouga getting punted into the stratosphere by Inuyasha.

The scowl held, but his chest shook, and Kagome didn't miss it.

"See what I mean?" she asked.

Inuyasha tried to hold it in but it wasn't working. Floofie Kouga doing tricks! Fluffy Kouga rolling over and—

Kagome was still holding a hand over her mouth as she fought down the giggles. Inuyasha wasn't having anywhere near that much trouble. Had she laughed at him this way when he wasn't looking? Did she picture him as a harmless, helpless, subservient animal that was good for a laugh and nothing else? Did yappy little Inuyasha roll tummy-up and whine in her daydreams?

She pulled in a deep breath and went back to tugging at her blankets. "Now are you going to sulk there all night or are you going to let me get some sleep?"

"I'm going to sulk here all night," he told her.

Her head snapped up, "What?"

Inuyasha folded his arms, feeling his smirk twitch back to life. "What?" he asked. "You didn't tell Kouga to take a hike. You obviously don't have enough sense to take care of yourself, so I have to do it for you." The dog demon allowed his smirk to widen. Miroku wasn't the only one who could be sneaky. He watched Kagome's face turn pinker and pinker in the dim light. Inuyasha might not have been as well-educated as the monk in certain matters, but he knew why Kagome's handprint so often marred his boyish good looks.

Kagome would pack Kouga's bags herself before she'd do anything so _Miroku_ as sleep at his feet.

"So you..." her voice dropped to a whisper. "You're saying you wanna sleep down here?"

"Yes!" he snapped back, folding his arms. "But who said anything about sleeping?"

"But won't you get tired?"

"Keh! It takes more than that to wear _me_ out."

Heh heh. Any second now she would turn bright pink and tell him that no way was she going to sleep right next to his worthless ass, and he would carefully point out that as soon as Kouga was well and truly on his way, he would be happy to sleep up in his tree like usual, and then she would—

"Okay," she said, getting to her feet.

"Finally!" he exhaled, and then, frowning. "Kagome? Didn't he go that way?"

The girl shook head. "No, he's right here," she told him as she bent down to pick up the half-conscious kitsune cub. The kit mumbled something into her arm as she carried him over, nudged the bedroll open with her shoe and put him down on the foot of the the soft nylon.

"Uh, Kagome?" Inuyasha frowned as she plunked her pillow down on top of his feet.

"Try not to move too much, okay?" she asked. "Good night, Inuyasha," she said as she slipped off her shoes and fisted another yawn. The human girl slid into the sleeping bag with a light rasp, Shippo settling perfectly against her knees.

In the woods, crickets chirped.

Inuyasha blinked.

"Um..."

.

.

.

Elsewhere...

A man steps up to the podium. "My name is Bob and I'm a kleptomaniac."

The rest of the room replies, "Hi, Bob."

"Now you go," Kurama insists.

I am Ithilwen's narrator alter-ego. Here are your shorts back, Bob.

"Thanks," says Bob.

"I'm not with her," says Kurama.


	42. Anger

"I could have had you detained for your offenses," seethes Kurama. "Instead, I brought you here. It's the first step to healing, dammit. Now admit that you have a problem!"

Well the air conditioning is a bit strong in here.

"So help me—"

Eeep!

"Put that whip down," shouts Bob.

"Yeah!" agrees Karen. "These are non-violent proceedings!"

"What?" stammers Kurama, "But I—"

"INTERVENTION!!" cries Gordon as half the assembly tackles Kurama.

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

Hojo shook his head. "That doesn't make sense. How could Kagome be Kikyo's reincarnation if they're both up and walking around?"

"I was getting to that," answered Miroku. "Her spirit beasts locate dead or dying young women and they bring her their..." Miroku paused. How to explain this... "...not their souls, exactly. They bring her their animating force, the power that allowed their bodies to move while they were living. As to whether this hinders their journey to the next life, I cannot say."

"Okay," Hojo held up both hands, "so if I forget everything I learned in biology class – and considering all the impossible people I've met this week, that's not uncalled for – then I can understand how someone who has already died once is up and around in a body made out of clay. What I still _don't_ understand," he turned his palms upward, "is how Kikyo and Kagome could both have the same soul." He shook his head. "Kikyo was ...she was..." His hands closed on nothing. "She was _something_, but she wasn't like Kagome."

Miroku looked away for a moment. A strange calm seemed to flow from the pit of his stomach through the rest of his body. _This is a foolish idea._ "What I am about to tell you—" The words slipped from his mouth like fish escaping from a net. _I should not say this out loud, not to him._ "—you must not repeat."

.

.

.

Well, his feet weren't cold. Inuyasha could say that.

Of course, if he said anything at all, she'd probably wake up. Right now, Kagome looked completely peaceful, her smooth body gently curling in on itself as Shippo rested his little head against her hip. Inuyasha had never seen the two of them from quite this angle before. Both of them looked as if they felt completely safe. ...and it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was the reason.

Oh well.

"Kagome!" he protested, shaking her shoulder with one hand.

"What," she asked, not lifting her head from her pillow. "Inuyasha, if you want to hover there all night just because you think Kouga-kun is a big meanie, then go ahead." She rolled onto her back and looked him in the eye. "Just don't expect me to lose any sleep over it."

Inuyasha stifled a growl and almost regretted not letting her drift off. She almost never sat him when she was asleep, and it was starting to look like he wouldn't be so lucky with her awake. And here she was, with her big, round, innocent head right on top of his feet and her smooth throat stretched out for any random enemy to slash at. Inuyasha squirmed unhappily. Couldn't she have let him find a comfortable position before plunking her pillow down on top of random pieces of his anatomy? "When are you telling Kouga to take a hike?" he demanded.

"I'm not," she twisted around again and buried her face in her arms.

"Why not? He tried to kill Hojo."

"No he didn't."

"Yes he did! He tried to get him killed and that's the same thing."

"Kouga wouldn't really have let it happen," she murmured into her arms. "It was stupid and reckless, but he knew you or Sango would catch Hojo practicing or something and—"

"Kagome..." he trailed off. She was still looking at this all wrong. She'd accepted Kouga's praise, smiled at his promises, and now she'd all but endorsed his treatment of someone who was supposed to be under her protection, and...

Inuyasha's thoughts got very cold.

"Kagome," he asked carefully, "what if it hadn't been Hojo?"

She lifted her head and looked him in the eye again, "What do you mean?"

"What if Kouga had been trying to hurt Shippo?" he asked.

There was a hiss of strange fabric as Kagome slid into a kneeling position. Shippo mumbled something in his sleep. Kagome placed her hand against his back.

Inuyasha focused on the kit. His breathing was steady. The runt was out cold. "What if he'd tried to get rid of Shippo like this, because he was scared of him?" He looked Kagome in the eye. "What would you do?"

"Why would Kouga be scared of Shippo?" she asked quietly.

"Just say that he was," he supplied. "What would you do?" He held her gaze like that for half a heartbeat before she turned and looked at the sleeping kit.

"I don't know," she said at last.

"You'd forgive him?" something inside him wouldn't move right. Something was stuck inside his ribs and wouldn't move.

"I don't know," she said again, shaking her head. "I can't see Kouga being afraid of anything that wouldn't hurt him." She turned back to him. "Why are you asking me this, Inuyasha?" she said intently. "Is Kouga going to do something to Shippo?"

Inuyasha shook his head, focusing his eyes somewhere around her knees.

"I wouldn't let him," she said, touching his shoulder with the side of her hand.

"Huh?" he asked.

"I wouldn't let anyone hurt Shippo," she decided. "Then I wouldn't have to forgive them."

Inuyasha let his hand slide loosely around her wrist. Something dark had settled beneath his heart. The words came like a breath, a wave, a wash of fever. They simply had to happen. "Would you want to know?" he asked.

She blinked. "Know what?"

"If it was over and it didn't matter anymore," he stared hard into the crumpled nylon by her knees, "and he knew that it was wrong, would you want to know what he did?"

She looked at him and didn't say a word.

"He doesn't deserve for you to forgive him," he said. "That asshole doesn't deserve it."

When she spoke again her voice was quiet. "You're not talking about Kouga anymore, are you?"

She'd figured it out. Holy heaven, she'd figured it out. The dark weight inside him turned hot and melted. Inuyasha almost shook with relief.

He didn't know what to expect at that moment. Kagome was staring into the woods, the way the monk and then the stupid waste of human meat had gone. She was biting her bottom lip. She could get up any second and storm after Hojo. She could break into tears right here in his arms. She could kill the guy.

"He knew it was wrong?" she asked quietly.

Inuyasha's scowl threatened to break his face, "He thought he was doing right at the time. He ...he thought the little guy was going to hurt you," he said, "but Miroku set him straight."

"And he's not going to try anything like that ever again?"

Inuyasha shook his head vehemently. "Hell no!" he insisted. "If Miroku didn't kick his ass through the ground, _I_ would!"

Kagome smiled, just barely, but with warmth behind it. She leaned forward and hugged him hard around the neck. "Then it's okay," she told him.

He blinked. "It's what?" Kagome only held him tighter and pressed her forehead against his cheek.

"I said it's okay," she answered quietly.

Inuyasha let his arms rest slackly by his sides. "You forgive too much, Kagome..."

He could hear the smile in her voice as she answered, "Someone has to."

.

.

.

It was an extremely delicate matter, this Kikyo business. Inuyasha, Kagome and even Kaede had serious wounds that didn't need to be reopened. Kikyo's history, motives and current situation were simply none of Hojo's business.

Unless of course one considered that it was Hojo's business to stay alive, and that he'd had one close scrape with Kikyo already. Even Miroku had to admit that half of the stupid things Hojo did were due to the fact that he had no idea how things were supposed to work in this world.

_If Inuyasha or Kagome hear me speaking about Kikyo this way..._ Miroku shook his head.__

"From what Lady Kaede has told me," he began, "when her sister was alive, she was very much like Kagome. She may not have had Kagome's warm and open manner, but Kikyo became a priestess to serve others, often at great risk to herself." Miroku watched Hojo nod, counting on his fingers. "She made personal sacrifices. She was forgiving to a fault. She would go out of her way to do good—" His mind flashed to a cave floor steeped in evil. "—even to those who did not deserve it. And she—"

"And she was in love with Inuyasha," Hojo finished. He nodded again, staring at the ground as he set his jaw. "You're right, Miroku. Those all sound like things that Kagome would do."

"The Kikyo who came back that day in Urasue's lair was herself for only a few moments," Miroku went on. "Kagome drew her soul back into her own body. The Kikyo shell was able to move, and to retain her powers and memories, but since that day, she has not been the same woman who lived in Kaede's village fifty years ago. The witch Urasue claimed that she was driven only by shreds of rage, but—"

Hojo rested his hands on his knees, "But you don't believe her?"

Miroku met the boy's plain gaze, suddenly feeling almost sorry for making fun of Inuyasha earlier – almost. If it was this disconcerting to have an actual intelligent conversation with the wasteling, then what must Inuyasha have felt? "From what we've heard, Kikyo spends her days tending the sick, teaching herblore to children... I don't know whether she is simply acting out habits that she developed during life or—"

"Or if she really is good," Hojo finished.

Miroku nodded. "Yes."

"The witch must have been lying." A small smile found its way onto Hojo's face. "The girl I met was way too nice. That's probably why Urasue wasn't able to control her like she planned. Kikyo still had enough of her spirit to remember that she was supposed to be good."

"Perhaps," Miroku went on. "But Kikyo is extremely unpredictable. Since her resurrection, she has discovered that it was Naraku who struck the blow that killed her, but I don't know how deep that knowledge goes. Time is frozen for the dead, and she died believing that Inuyasha had killed her," he insisted. "Somehow, even with her plots against Naraku, I do not believe that Kikyo fully understands that Inuyasha did not betray her." The monk looked up, trying to catch the glow of the campfire through the trees.

_ "Miroku," Mushin had told him once, "a woman's anger can be a very powerful thing. It loses none of its potency for being directed at the wrong person."_

_And any fitting punishment for Inuyasha's actions that day... he has already meted out himself._ "She still claims that his life belongs to her," he shook his head.

"It almost sounds like she wants to marry him," Hojo mused. "Or kill him. I'm not sure which."

"To be perfectly honest, neither am I." Miroku leaned forward, placing his hands on his knees. "Do you understand what I am trying to tell you, Hojo? Kikyo could break a demonic curse with one hand, and slay an ally with the other. Good or not, she is one of the most dangerous people you could meet."

"She didn't seem so bad to me."

"You must have managed to avoid offending her," Miroku supplied. _As amazing as that sounds_.

"Maybe," Hojo shrugged. "But if Kagome came back through the well while she was still dead, then..." A vertical crease formed beneath his trimmed bangs. "Is that why I can't get home?"

"Hm?" Miroku shook his head. "Is what why you can't get home?"

"Kikyo's soul. It can't be in Kagome and Kikyo at the same time without ripping into little pieces, right?" Hojo demanded.

"I believe that's right," Miroku answered. "What does this have to do with you?"

"The well," he insisted. "Maybe the reason most people can't get through it is because they've got a reincarnation on the other side. The soul doesn't want to rip apart, so it doesn't pass through." Hojo smiled. "Does that make any sense?"

"Well—"

"And maybe I could make it into the past because my old incarnation is still between lives or something. And..." Hojo's blather slowed. "Maybe the reason why I can't get back is because there's a new baby me back in my world." His smile leveled. "That would sort of mean I'm stuck here, wouldn't it?"

"I am going to make every effort to see that that doesn't happen," Miroku said truthfully. "While I must admit that none of us are sure why the Bone Eater's Well can transport people from one age to another, I believe that it is far more likely to be your grandmother's talisman that is causing the problem." Miroku felt his thoughts smooth out even as he said it.

Hojo's fingers moved idly on the cord around his neck as Miroku tried to make the idea take shape. Something about the talisman, and Hojo, and...

"Would you leave me for a few moments, Hojo?" Miroku asked. "I think I have something I need to figure out."

.

.

.

One part of Inuyasha had absolutely no problem with Kagome pressing her warm little body so tightly against him, even if most of her weight was still resting quite painfully on his left foot. It felt good to have someone hold him at a moment like this one. Inuyasha lifted one arm to tentatively rest his palm against her shoulder blade. He let his eyes close just a little. Sometimes it almost felt as if his wretched life wasn't meant to be full of empty arms. And she smelled nice.

The rest of him was pretty darn confused.

_Dammit!_ he fumed inwardly. _She was mad enough the other day when she thought Hojo'd done it by accident. She even slapped the little worm. Hell, she apologized to me! Why is she brushing it off like this? Why..._ Something in his throatclosed up.

"He doesn't deserve it." He muttered into her shoulder. "He's worthless."

"Never say that again!" she said fiercely, making Inuyasha blink. Kagome pulled back and held him at arm's length. "I mean it, Inuyasha," she said intently. "As a special present to me. I never want you to say that again."  
Inuyasha shook his head, "I won't promise you that," he seethed. "You're taking all of this too lightly, Kagome."

"No I'm not," she folded her arms. "If he did hurt Shippo, I wouldn't let him get away. I would fix him so that he couldn't hurt anything ever again _and you know I could do it_, do you understand?"

"No!" Inuyasha cried out. Shippo gave a little yip in his sleep and turned over. "How is trying that different from succeeding?" he shook his head. "Oh what's the point, anyway?"

"Can't a kid get some sleep around here?" came a tired voice. Inuyasha looked over to see Shippo sit up, shaking his head. "I'm going to go sleep by Kirara tonight..." he said as he dragged himself off.

Kagome's eyes followed the kitsune cub's path toward the firecat. "The point is that Shippo's fine," Kagome soothed, turning back to him. "And he knew it was wrong. He learned his lesson!" she let her hand slip to his upper arm and rub gently against the wired muscle. "Besides," she said. "I bet it was a long time ago, anyway."

The dog demon looked up, "How long a time ago could it have been?"

Kagome blinked, her hands dropping back into her lap. "You mean it wasn't?"

"Hell no! The damn thing happened yesterday!"

For the first time all night, something truly dangerous flashed into Kagome's eyes. "Yesterday?" she demanded. "_Yesterday?!_"

"Dammit! What are you mad at me for, you crazy bitch?" Inuyasha glanced across the firelight to Sango, who'd already started stirring.

"_Yesterday!!_" she hissed. "Inuyasha, I thought that _maybe_ when we first met Shippo, you might have thought he was a little—"

_Wait wait wait what?_

"—bit untrustworthy, I mean he _did_ threaten us and steal our shards, but _yesterday?!_ What _possible _reason could you have for thinking that Shippo—"

_Wait wait wait ME?!_ Inuyasha's brain was stuck somewhere between the idea that Kagome did in fact have a very formidable world of pain ready for anyone who threatened Shippo and the idea that she did not in fact have an accurate idea of who that anyone should be.

"Huh?" called the kit. "What about me?"

"—meant you or me or anyone even a little harm? He's practically a little brother to you!! Inuyasha," Kagome inhaled so hard that Inuyasha swore the trees behind him moved.

"Kagome..." he tried to interrupt.

"SSSSSSS—"

"But Kagome—!"

"—IIIIIIIII—"

Kagome's eyes shot open to the size of Totosai's as Inuyasha clamped both hands down on her mouth.

_Damn! How come I never thought of doing this until now?_

Her whole body went perfectly still for half a heartbeat. Then her eyes slammed down, her face screwed up, her feet started to kick and she meeped out what Inuyasha could only assume to be truly horrible language behind his unmoving hands.

"Kagome!" he finally got a word in edgewise. She met his gaze with a truly evil slitted glare. If Inuyasha hadn't been so angry, he might have cared. "I! Wasn't! Talking! About! Me!" He jerked his hands away from her mouth.

For a split second he was afraid that his words hadn't sunk in and that he was still going on a deep mining expedition to search for his lost ability to live without pain, but the moment passed, and Inuyasha could almost see the thoughts clicking by in her head. Not talking about Inuyasha, not talking about Kouga, and yesterday in the snake den, she'd only slapped one man...

Kagome's entire body started to vibrate with something that made the dog demon want to take many, many steps back. Her two pale hands balled into shaking fists as she flew to her feet, "**_HOJO!!_**"

.

.

.

That went well. Those people are fun.

"Those people are seriously trying to free themselves from a destructive obsession," Kurama pointed out. "...and I think someone took my wallet."

Backsliding is nigh-inevitable. One day at a time.

"Okay, so maybe my escorting you to a twelve-step program isn't the way to go."

I don't think I identified.

"...I could probably get a court-order requiring you to go by yourself. "


	43. Better

"What is that?" asks Kurama.

A hamster.

"I can see that. Why do you have it?"

Someone told me it was evil. So far it just runs on the little wheel and signs people up for spam mailing lists.

Kurama grabs the cage. "It's been YOU!!"

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapters three and forty-four to find out. The original version is available on MediaMiner. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

.

.

.

"Sango! Sango, wake up!"

The demon exterminator stirred. She'd been sleeping fitfully to begin with. A strange dream about a howling typhoon...

"Sango!" Shippo reached down and shook her head with both hands. She lifted one arm to push him out of the way.

"What is it?" she asked groggily.

"It's Kagome!" she opened her eyes right into Shippo's, panic-white and twice as large as usual. "She's lost her mind!"

.

.

.

Something about the boy just didn't make sense. Something was nagging at him, at the edge of his awareness. There was something beyond Hojo's natural talents with people of the female persuasion, something beyond the flaming talisman that, it seemed, not even he could control.

Miroku pulled in one smooth breath and let it out slowly. The answer would come to him, but somehow, he could feel time ticking away with his heartbeat.

Something was going to happen soon.

_Why do I do it?_ Miroku's own thoughts interrupted the process. _By all rights, I should hate Hojo as much as Inuyasha and Shippo do_. His mind flashed to a sleek female form in coral-trimmed armor. _Alright, so perhaps "should" is too generous of a term. The both makes my skin seethe, so why am I going to such lengths to help him?_

_"Remember, my boy," the answer seeped into his mind, "whatever else we do, whatever profit or other ...heh, hem... other rewards we may find in our journey, it is still the journey of a holy man toward enlightenment._

_ "A monk is supposed to set an example of kindness and understanding. We are privileged, you and I , Miroku, and your father as well. Not everyone can spend his lifetime the pursuit of wisdom. It is perhaps because of that that we must—"_

"Feed a starving mind wherever we may find it," he finished out loud, allowing his eyes to lift open in the growing night.

_Deep down, I know that Hojo is a good person, and that I must do all I can to help him survive._ His mouth tightened. _Damn, that's depressing..._ The twist to his lips turned wry. "Not so worthless of an apprentice after all, Master Mushin?"

A sound from back the way Hojo had gone broke his train of thought. Miroku looked up. Had it come from the boy or someone at the camp. His hands found their place on his staff and he followed.

.

.

.

"Inuyashaaaaaa!!" Kagome seethed. "You didn't think it would be a good idea to _tell_ me about this?!" she asked.

Inuyasha huffed. "No." ...His eyes squeezed shut a split-second after the word left his mouth.

"_SIT!_"

If Kagome's mind had been clearer, the words "misplaced anger," might have crossed it. It was just as well, because Inuyasha summed it up with the far simpler, "Bitch!"

"What did he do?" Kagome demanded before he'd even pried his face out of the dirt. "Tell me what happened!"

"The snake demon den," he snapped into the dirt. "You thought Hojo was just trying to be a hero?" he shook his head. "He did it on purpose. He was going to let the snake demon eat Shippo. He admitted it."

Kagome's eyes went just a bit narrow.

"I didn't beat it out of him; he admitted it to Miroku and I overheard. You can ask the stupid monk if you don't believe me."

Kagome bowed her head even as her fists shook. She shouldn't have sat Inuyasha for that; she shouldn't have, but... It was all coming back, exploding outward like floodwaters breaking a dam.

_"Higurashi? What... what is THAT?"_

Hojo going pale whenever Shippo moved near him.

Hojo unable to concentrate on his archery lesson because he couldn't take his eyes off Shippo.

Hojo looking away, fidgeting with his hands, shuffling with his feet, giving a hundred different, perfect clues while he was spinning her that idiot story about having a plan against the serpent demons.

"I should have figured it out!" she wrenched the words from her throat with such force that Inuyasha's ears flattened back. "I am so stupid! Oh God, Hojo! How could you do this to me?!"

"Yeah..." muttered Inuyasha as he got back to his feet. There was something hovering around his eyes that she couldn't quite place. Was that ...relief?

Kagome shook her head. There were too many emotions trying to take shape in her heart that she felt as if she would burst if she didn't hold Shippo warm and safe in her arms right then, crack Hojo's skull open with hiraikotsu, sit Inuyasha senseless for keeping this from her.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" she asked again.

"You crazy girl, you're supposed to be mad at the little—"

"_Inuyasha!_" her voice rose several decibels and at least half an octave.  
In the corner of the camp, Kagome was dimly aware of the little kitsune, now completely awake, shaking violently at Sango's shoulders.

"I'm telling you now!" the dog demon snapped back. "Besides, I wanted you to figure it out for yourself."

"Why?" she demanded.

"I just wanted you to!"

"_Why?!_" Kagome wasn't sure why she needed to know, somewhere in there, she just _did_.

"I don't want to be—" Inuyasha cut the breath in half. "You shouldn't think I'm—"

She went completely silent. The prickly feeling that this wasn't going to be just another overinflated territorial posturing match nipped its way across her mind.

"Telling you what he did wouldn't make me better than he is!" he shouted back at her. "That's probably not the right way to say it, but that's what I've got."

The words thrummed in Kagome's mind, brought her back to a world of choking vines, and a pit deep enough to make her forget she'd ever been...

_ "Kagome, did Kikyo try to harm you? I won't ask you if—"_

_ "Then don't ask me! ...It would feel like I was telling on her!"_

"Inuyasha..." her voice was quiet now. "You're right."

The dog demon looked up.

"That's not why you're better than he is."

Inuyasha opened his mouth, but closed it again right away. She could barely make out the motion of his head shaking. She couldn't make out what he said at all.

Kagome bit her lip. _I shouldn't have said that... Now he's going to think—_

"Kagome," a human voice slipped behind her, loose with interrupted sleep. "What's going on?" asked the taijiya. "Shippo thinks—"  
Shippo...

Her eyes leaped back to the campfire. What if—

"I'll get him," graveled the dog demon.

Kagome nodded her thanks, suddenly feeling less than strong. She took a breath and saw a gray blur with fangs, the image twice as large in her mind's eye.

Something had to be done.

.

.

.

Put that hamster down. It's borrowed.

"Not until its evil is unsubscribed from the world," insists Kurama.


	44. Night

Clutzoid, the "complete" refers to the chapter.

Kurama reentered the room, wiping hamster fur from his hands with a clean towel. "Who are you talking to?" he asked. His bright eyes narrowed as he lifted one hand to his face. "And why am I in paragraph form?"

I have altered all forty chapters on ffnet.

"What?" Kurama asked. "But the other style was easier to read, and the comedy – such as it was – had better delivery."

I know. Here. Just drink this glass of New and Improved Coca Cola and make the best of it.

"I am never drinking anything you give me again," he pushed the drink aside. "What could possess you to do such a thing?"  
  
I don't want the ffnet guys to ban my account. There's a rule against script format.

Kurama shook his head urbanely, "You must be thinking about the rule against chatspeak."

The ffnet guys say they're the same.

"No they aren't. For whatever other transgressions that may have come to pass here, you and I both have used proper English the entire time," explained Kurama. "Not even that crazy cab driver said 'OMFG' or 'ROTFLMAO' or—"

Hush up! Hush up!

.

.

.

"It's probably just another one of their arguments, Shippo," Sango began groggily.

"No, Sango! This is really bad! This is---urrkk!!" Shippo lurched as something clawed and surly grabbed him by the scruff. "Lemme go!" he protested.

"No," came the expected answer.

Shippo flicked his little legs, twisted in his captor's grip and bit him firmly on the wrist.

"Inuyasha!" Sango scolded, getting to her feet. "What has gotten into you? Why is Kagome so upset?" Inuyasha didn't answer, long strides quickly carrying them toward the woods. The flesh beneath his teeth gave the tiniest twitch and the dog demon's other hand came around to flick him off. Shippo found himself going quiet inside. No snarling? No shaking? No dropping him noggin-first into the dirt? What in the name of all that was pink and puffy was going on?

"I—" his voice queaked. "Inuyasha, where are we going?"

The dog demon paused before giving a noncommittal grunt. "Kagome wants to see ya."

Shippo felt his skin go as chill as the night air. He gulped hard as his and Inuyasha's merged shadow stretched and lurched at the edge of the dull firelight. Shippo tasted metal in his mouth and pulled his top teeth out of his lip. The dog demon's pendulous strides only worsened the heavy feeling in his stomach. "Inuyasha?" his voice was thin. "Is Kagome okay?"

Inuyasha stopped in his tracks, and Shippo couldn't freeze the high-pitched nothing in his throat before it shook into a full keen. Something was wrong; he knew it! Kagome had been snuggling into bed with him not an hour before, and the thought of it was like shards of glass inside his eyes. He covered his face with his hands as Inuyasha pulled him up to eye level. Any second now he was going to tell him what the screaming had really been, that—

"Yeah," Shippo opened his eyes to a sort of amazed confusion that seemed totally out of place anywhere on Inuyasha's body. "Yeah, she's fine, runt."

Something good bled outward from Shippo's middle. He pulled in a shuddering breath and collected his thoughts. "Then why was she screaming her head off a minute ago?!" Shippo demanded, struggling furiously to get free of Inuyasha's grip with all the rage in his small body. "What did you do this time, you big meanie?!"

"What the—?!" Inuyasha gave him a hard shake.

"Oooooooh!" Shippo writhed and chomped violently, drawing blood this time.

"Dammit, brat!" Inuyasha wrenched his fist. "Kagome—" his eyes grew dark for a moment. "Kagome just wants to see ya, runt so knock it off and come on!"

Shippo narrowed his eyes and gave Inuyasha a shrewd look, not pulling his teeth from his skin. Inuyasha was lying, Shippo knew, but not all the way. He twisted again, wrenching himself free of Inuyasha's painful scruff-grip, and scrambled halfway up the heart-red sleeve. The dog demon gave him his second terrible scare of the night when he drew his arm inward toward his body, allowing Shippo to rest not completely uncomfortably in the crook of his elbow.

Forget pink and puffy! What the hell was going on?

.

.

.

Kagome didn't know how long she stood there, staring into the gloom with wet grass at her feet, until the pale white ghost of Inuyasha's mane slipped back through the shadows, red clothes leeched to gray in the dim.

"Kagome?" Shippo's voice was thin as Inuyasha plunked him into her arms. "What's going on? Inuyasha wouldn't tell me anything..."

"It's nothing to worry about, Shippo," she answered almost mechanically. "And I'm sorry I asked Inuyasha to wake you up." She just wanted to hold him in her arms, feel his little hands hug her neck, breathe in the dusty smell of his hair.

"I was already awake," Shippo's voice returned to something more like its usual young sarcasm. "You and Inuyasha really need to learn to keep it down," he fisted a yawn. "Or maybe fight during the day..."

She heard heavy feet shuffling in front of her, and spared Inuyasha a look over her shoulder. Kagome felt her jaw set. He had told her little of his life before Kikyo, and Kagome hadn't asked, but a fool would know, an earthworm would know...

From the way Inuyasha acted toward Shippo – bops, name-calling and the occasional death threat notwithstanding – no one had ever found _him_ on the road, saved _him_ from the cub-eating monsters, no one but himself. For all that Inuyasha professed to hate the kit, Kagome feared for Hojo's life at that moment.

Shippo laid his head against her shoulder, closing the confusion in his eyes. Stupid destructive boys could wait... Kagome's thoughts drifted in no particular direction as Shippo's heart beat like a little drum against her skin.

"Kagome-chan?"

Sango looked like someone had taped her inside a cereal box and shaken her around looking for the prize, but hiraikotsu was slung over her back with noonday precision. "What's going on? What was all that yelling from before?"

Kagome looked from Inuyasha to Sango and back.

"You guys stay here," she said, easing Shippo's arms from around her neck. "I need to go take care of something."

Inuyasha nodded. "Alright," he said, pointing. "He's over there. I can catch his scent. What are you—"

"You're not coming," she said firmly.

"Yes I am," he answered, just as firmly.

Sango looked from Kagome to Inuyasha and back. "Coming where?" she asked.

Kagome felt her insides wrench. What would Sango do if she knew? Would she side with the kind boy from the future, defend him, swear that Inuyasha and Miroku had to be wrong about—

A dark smile tugged, just a tiny bit, at Kagome's mouth. No... Sango's earlier admiration for Hojo would only make her more angry. Inuyasha might go for the throat, but Sango would break every bone in his body.

...and as angry as she was, Kagome didn't want that to happen.

"I need to talk to Hojo," she said. "That's all."

.

.

.

The talisman produced flame when provoked, and seethed with unfamiliar magic. Surely that was what prevented Hojo from passing back through the Bone-Eater's Well, he'd thought. Flame from a dull stone. Evil from a dry well. Something about them wouldn't mix; he'd been so sure.

_No..._ Miroku realized slowly.

_"And maybe I could make it into the past because my old incarnation is still between lives or something,"_ Hojo had said. _"And... maybe the reason why I can't get back is because there's a new baby me back in my world."_

And older Hojo dying. A young one being born, and a fool of a boy trapped in the middle. Hojo's theory was stringy enough to fall apart in the breeze, but it had triggered a chain of thoughts in Miroku's mind. Link over link he pulled, like a man pulling water up from a well. The answer would rise into sight any second. Just another minute and—

"For heaven's sake, Inuyasha! I can handle this alone."

"I'm coming with you, Kagome!"

Miroku's eye slit open as a pair of voices interrupted his thoughts.

_Dammit_... he poured inwardly. Something nagged at him. It was like grasping a stone with his right hand: only the tips of his fingers touched the surface. There were still too many beads in the way of his grip, and it seemed as though every time he strung one out of the way, some distraction slid another into place.

_This fixation of mine has nothing to do with the fire talisman,_ a slow smile touched Miroku's mouth. _It is Hojo himself. There is something about the boy himself that makes me want to help him.._ Miroku shook his head. It was almost time to get some rest anyway.

"I suppose I might as well see what's going on over there." He frowned. Kagome sounded upset about something. Quickly, he tramped over grass, already growing wet with the evening.

"Even if you hadn't sent Kouga out here, who knows what kind of scavengers are slinking around these woods at night? Besides," Inuyasha gave a snort, "with your stupid human eyes you'd probably get lost before you even got close to him."

"There he is," Miroku heard Kagome answer. He frowned. What was that strange darkness in her voice?

"Hello, Higurashi-san?" Hojo's voice was startlingly close. Miroku pushed some branches aside and found himself staring at the back of Hojo's head. The expression on Kagome's face was strangely calm. She stared straight at Hojo with such intensity that Miroku had to wonder if she'd seen him at all. Inuyasha hovered behind her looking ...well looking a bit eager, actually.

"Is it true, Miroku?" Kagome asked, not looking away.

"Um..." there was too much nervousness laced into Hojo's confusion for it to be entirely real. "Higurashi?"

"Is what true?" Miroku asked with more genuine puzzlement.

"About the other day in the serpent den."

Miroku's palm connected with his forehead with a sharp smack. _Inuyasha!!_ "You _told_ her?!" he demanded of the dog demon.

"No," a wave of consternation passed over Inuyasha's frame. "Yes," he admitted, "but it wasn't like that!"

"It is true, then?" a thread of hurt drifted into her voice and she took a step toward the boy. "You really did try to hurt Shippo?"

"Um!"

"Hey!" protested Inuyasha. "How come you have to hear it from the monk before you'll believe it, wench! Isn't my word good enough for you?"

"Well, Inuyasha," began Miroku, "the word of a holy man—"

"Shut up, monk!"

"Higurashi..." Hojo's voice cracked like that of a man walking on his mother's grave. "I—I didn't _know!_ I thought he was trying to hurt you. I only—"

SMACK!

Hojo's head snapped sharply to the side with a suddenness that made Miroku's cheeks sting in sympathy.

Kagome was breathing hard, "Don't ...you ..._dare_ say you did this for me!" she shouted as Hojo slowly brought one shaking hand to the side of his face.

There was a swirling wind and a crash in the bushes. "What's the racket? What did I miss?" Kouga blinked just in time to see Kagome land another one on Hojo's face. "Alright, Kagome! Do that again!"

"Get _out_ of here!" Miroku wasn't sure if Kagome was shouting at Hojo or the rest of them, but the boy cringed all the same.

"Higurashi," Hojo pleaded. "I'm _sorry!_"

"I don't want to _know_ what you were thinking! You saw me with Shippo; he played tricks on Inuyasha for you. I don't want to know!"

Even with the seriousness of the situation, Miroku couldn't stop the glee bubbling up inside him. _Inuyasha may have followed Kagome to protect her, but damn it feels good to watch this. ...curse my training... I'm not cut out for self-denial._

"Kagome," Miroku evicted the words from his throat. "Kagome don't..." The girl looked up at him. He grit his teeth, "Don't send him away," he forced out each sound. "He'll die if you do and we all know it."

"Yeah..." Kouga trailed off, confused.

Inuyasha was completely silent.

"Kagome, please..."

"I'm not going to send him away, Miroku," Kagome's words were slow and deliberate.

Inuyasha looked up. Hojo didn't.

"...but I need the three of you to leave, so I can tell Hojo what's going to happen next."

.

.

.

At least people can still read the original version on mediaminer and sphere of silence.

"Don't be foolish," he protested. "The site administrators are reasonable people. They wouldn't delete a well-written story that's obviously well-liked without giving the claim a thorough and thoughtful investigation. Besides, this story isn't itself a script piece; the only 'chatspeak,' as they put it, is in the author's notes." He held up one hand, "On such a vague point, they would surely give you at least a warning."

They didn't warn "Of Gods and Monsters."

"They ... wait," Kurama's entire body went still. "Niamh's 'Of Gods and Monsters'?"

Yes.

"The story with Teles and Sesshoumaru and—"

That's the one.

"But I wasn't finished reading it!" Kurama's eyes narrowed, and his cellphone sprang into his hand with an evil snap. "Yusuke," he said without preamble. "Is Hiei up and about again? Good. I believe I may need your help on something."


	45. Contact

Please visit mediaminer for the scandalous uncensored version of the Kurama arc. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical.

Today's Kurama arc is adapted from PM's between the inestimable Niamh and myself. The name of Teles is not taken in vain.

"Gentlemen," Kurama began smoothly, clicking on his laser pointer. "Allow me to introduce our target: the fanfictiondotnet deletion squad. I have prepared some slides."  
I have prepared some brownies.

"Wow, thanks!" said Kuwabara, taking one and munching happily. "Are you sure you don't want one, Kurama?"

"I'm sure. So far, the deletion squad has hit such stories as 'Divine,' 'A Fuedal Fairytale for the 133t,' and of course, 'Of Gods and Monsters,' often for partially or even wholly unsubstantiated reasons. 'Waiting for Yesterday,' by Squeakyinuears, for example, was deleted for 'lack of respect for the English language,' when the author had used a spellcheck program and two betas. It clearly says on the ffdotnet upload page that no one is perfect, implying that honest errors that are not due to laziness—" He turned his eyes to a raised hand. "Yes, Kuwabara?"

"I've been reading this 'Monster' story too and I got a question about—"

"He can read?" Hiei asked suddenly.

"Of course I can read, stupid!" raged Kuwabara.

"Will wonders never cease?"

.o.

.o.

.o.

Over the past few days, Inuyasha had come to believe that nothing could possibly be so satisfying as hitting Hojo in the face, but watching Kagome do it had felt good.

Okay, so it had felt very good.

Okay, so it had felt really, really fucking amazing.

Now, though... Inuyasha didn't take her all the way back to camp. Sango would want to know what was going on, and he was pretty sure Kagome wasn't up for answering questions. And then there was the runt. Inuyasha found a dry patch on the grass and set her down.

Dammit, what was he supposed to make of all of this? Kagome had stood there, solid as a mountain in front of Hojo, but now she looked like she was going to melt apart any second. _So many people get off on it. If it had been me, I would have enjoyed making the little shred cower like the worm he is, knowing that I controlled what would happen to him. Kagome... Kagome's acting like she's the one who did something wrong._

For some reason, that thought made Inuyasha very angry. "Stop crying!" he demanded.

"I can't," she held out both hands.

"I told you I didn't want to see you cry for his sorry ass!"

"That's not why I'm crying, Inuyasha..." she looked away, biting down hard on her bottom lip. "I _trusted_ him! I thought he was the best person in my world! We all did!"

Something inside his mind went slack. For a split second, all he could hear was the sound of _best person in my world_ echoing around in his skull.

"Inuyasha, with all the horrible things we see..." Kagome shook her head. "In this time, even the good people have to do such terrible things! Whenever it got to be too much for me, I'd remember that there are people in the world who'd lay down and die before they'd hurt another person." She reached out for him with one hand, but stopped before she touched his skin. "_That's_ what I thought he was."

He couldn't make his eyes move. "Kagome," the words rolled out on silent wheels, "If I just lay down and die then so would—"

"I know," she said, looking back at him. "I ... I just can't explain it any better than that, that's all."

"Kagome..." Inuyasha trailed off, hands completely empty.

I hate it when you cry.

She looked back at him, eyes full and blinking, her face completely flushed.

I can't make you stop.

His left hand lifted just a little off his knee.

I don't feel strong when you cry.

"Inuyasha?" she asked, her voice wrung from wet tendon.

I _never know what to do!_

Frustration rippled across his jawline. Inuyasha pushed his hand back down, fingers out, a barricade of needle claws between them.

After so much stillness, the motion rose up from nowhere, like a flock of birds after a shout. He shifted his weight to stand, something her human eyes couldn't have detected even at a sorrowfree noon, but since when had Kagome needed eyes to tell what he was going to do? "Don't!" her voice came anyway. At the same time, she leaned forward, reaching out with both hands. Her fingers curled in the fabric of his sleeve. "Don't go," a hollow whisper reached his ears. Her free hand pressed down on the back of his. "I don't want to be alone yet."

This was the part where he should have slapped her away. This was the mistake that he kept making over and over. Inuyasha didn't budge when she pressed her forehead down on his shoulder and wept like a good mother. The buzzing in his mind was still warm, but clear as the air before a rain.

_Kagome, _he swallowed hard as her fingers squeezed hard on his arm,_ what do you want me to do? How the hell am I supposed to..._

Almost by itself, his left hand reached around her body, hovering, and then gingerly touched her back along the spine. Inuyasha squirmed, shifting her awkward weight. Palm down, claws away from the cloth, there was always the threat of cuts between him and her. He sat half-holding her tight as a bandage as the sorrow left her body in drops.

He didn't know how much time passed before she pulled back, but it was long enough for his feet to go numb underneath him. He'd lost count of her heartbeats.

"Inuyasha," she looked up at him. "Would you— I need you to—"

"He won't know I'm there," Inuyasha warned.

Kagome nodded. "That's what I want," she said. "Tomorrow we can tell him."

Inuyasha shrugged. "Do you really think this'll do any good?" he asked bitterly.

"Yes I do."

"I'm taking you back to camp first." It wasn't a question.

"Okay." It wasn't an argument. "Do you... You don't think I..."

"Don't worry about him, Kagome," Inuyasha didn't look back the way they'd come. "It's done."

.o.

.o.

.o.

Kouga'd fled when Kagome turned her gaze on him. Even Inuyasha had swallowed his words and taken a good ten steps back into the brush.

Hojo hadn't lifted his head, hadn't moved.

Kagome hadn't hurt him that much, really, hadn't even broken his skin. Miroku himself had taken worse beatings from Sango and still walked away smiling. ...but then, Sango had never said the things that Kagome had said to Hojo just now.

Miroku was standing in the night air, watching a young man bleed out on the ground.

"Get up," Kagome had said coldly. He'd watched, eyes struggling in the faint light. The dimness had leeched all the color from Kagome's clothes and skin, leaving only the white shirt with a touch of red at her throat. From the corner of his eye, Miroku thought he saw Inuyasha flinch. The monk blinked again.

"Go!" she'd pointed toward the woods.

_I could have mistaken her for Kikyo just now,_ he realized. Judging by the way two frozen gold eyes hovered on the back of her neck, he wasn't the only one.

_"You stay here in the woods tonight," Kagome's voice knifed into the dying air, "and you think about what it's like to be a weak creature on your own with no one to help you. We'll come find you in the morning, and if you still want my help getting home, then I'll give it to you, but after that, go away somewhere and don't come back. Don't come see me. Don't ask my friends about me. We're done."_

She had held perfectly still for a moment, pulling in a silent breath before her chin crumpled and the illusion broke. Hojo hadn't seen however; he still hadn't raised his forearms up from the grass. She didn't make a sound. He never knew.

Kikyo would have stayed, impassive as a stone, while Hojo crawled off into the dust. Kikyo would have watched and shown nothing. Kagome turned away, shaking her head and pressing one hand to her mouth and pointing back toward the camp with the other as she took a step toward Inuyasha.

The dog demon broke his reverie as easily as a cobweb, taking Kagome's arm and then lifting her off the ground in one smooth motion. There was a sound of shoeless feet on the grass, and they were gone.

Hojo still hadn't moved. Neither had Miroku. He swallowed hard. Kagome would notice if he didn't make it back to camp soon. Staying out here with the boy too long would defeat the point.

_"There will be times, my boy, when you won't know what to do. Some empty soul will reach out with both hands, and you'll find yourself utterly lost. Your training will fail you; the words of Buddha will fail you; your own thoughts will fail you,"_ Miroku swallowed Mushin's words. _"The monks of our order have many words of advice for these situations."_

Hojo slid his knees underneath his body, both hands straining against his neck.

_"Follow your heart..."_

Miroku closed his eyes for a moment.

_"...Be objective..."_

Hojo's spine straightened, vertebra by vertebra, and held, leaving him past bent with both hands in front of his face, like a fallen leaf just starting to shrivel, and still so full of doomed green.

_"...close your eyes and guess."_

Miroku slid his staff to the ground.

_"But all of that is crap," Mushin had told him._

Miroku took one step forward, then another, and sank down next to the boy, wetness from the grass soaking through to his skin. He stopped holding his breath, and reached out with his left hand, pressing the palm down firmly on Hojo's shoulder. He didn't flinch. He didn't look up. He didn't make a sound.

_"The truth is in the touch, boy,"_ a much younger Miroku had stared into two bare palms, calloused mirrors in his young mind. _"If you can't make it better, then make contact."_

Hojo's shoulders shook in a soundless sob. A hand fell from his face to brace the rest of him against the ground, revealing one eye, impossibly bright.

_"Palm to palm, you mend the world."_

Miroku swallowed hard.

It was the same punishment she'd given to Kouga, but Miroku knew that it wouldn't have the same effect.

_Kouga we would have to watch; he would surely attempt to harm Hojo again. Hojo..._ Miroku looked down at the boy. _Hojo won't so much as breathe at Shippo after this._ He frowned. _Kagome was willing to be lenient with Hojo's life, but not on Shippo's? Or is it that Hojo put Shippo in more danger than Kouga did with Hojo?_

Still... One thing was terribly clear to him through all of this.

"She's going to forgive you," Miroku told him. "Not any time soon, but she will."

Hojo pulled away, sitting back on his knees. He looked up at Miroku and didn't say a word.

"She thinks you're going to learn something," he explained. "Or else she would have told you to leave now."

Hojo shook his head. "She's met my mother."

Miroku blinked. "What—"

"Kagome. Has met. My mother," Hojo hammered out, pulling himself to his feet. "Kagome doesn't want to have to tell my mother that I'm never coming back. She doesn't want everyone at school to worry about me." He made a sharp gesture with both hands, "She's not doing it for me."

Miroku shook his head gently, "I think that's where you're wrong, Hojo. After a few days, Kagome will want to know the whole story about you and Shippo, and I will tell her what was in your mind. I doubt she'll forgive you at that moment, but after some time has passed..." he actually chuckled. "Hojo," he said, missing the strange look that had come over the boy's face. "I think there are a few things that you still need to learn about women."

One second, the boy had been standing like a broken reed, but the next thing Miroku knew, , Hojo was clenched in front of him like a fist.

"And what would you know about it, you—" Hojo's hands opened searchingly as something lit behind his eyes, "—you're an excuse for a monk! You keep at Miss Sango like it's not up to her, like she isn't worth anything! And she's not the only one!" Hojo got to his feet, "You're talking to me about Higurashi, but the way you act towards women is—" Miroku could see Hojo's jaw clench as he looked away for a moment, hands fisting. "It may seem like fun now," he said in a voice that was probably meant to be calm, "but you'll regret it when you're a lonely old man."

He went totally still, frozen in position with his two hands folded in his lap and his eyes on Hojo's face. The boy was breathing hard, still looking away as he shifted his feet uncomfortably.

"Miroku the lonely old man." the words came on their own, straight out of the yawing emptiness that had appeared like sudden storm. "That would be a sorry sight indeed."

"You bet," Hojo's chin lifted stubbornly.

"Knowing me..." Beyond either Miroku's will or comprehension, his mouth pulled into a smirk. "I'd be a horrible drunk, yes?"

"Probably."

"And," Sango was so very wrong. This was the perverse part. "I'd have some fool apprentice. Some ungrateful braggart who only came by when he wanted something."

"If you're lucky," Hojo added on before turning on his heel and finally _—_ _finally — _stomping away.

"Yes," Miroku answered to no one at all, "so lucky..."

.o.

.o.

.o.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," interjected Yusuke, "but we've got work to do. Just ask your question, Kuwabara."

"Yeah," the ape-like boy gave a tug on his coat. "Like I was saying, Kurama, did you and the chick from the story ever, like... You know..."

Kurama raised an eyebrow.

"That's right," a hint of a smile touched Hiei's face. "She was exiled right about the time of your heyday as a bandit. _And_ she has a thing for bad boys."

Yusuke chuckled. "So that's why you were so insistent. Looking out for an old girlfriend, Kurama?"

The fox-bandit-turned-human sighed. "I suppose it's best that you're informed. My interest in Niamh's story is primarily literary; it's a tale of another creature trapped in human form. However, I was privileged to meet the lady in question, shortly after her arrival in Japan. Our interaction was brief, casual, and ended neatly."

"Wait," insisted Kuwabara. "What kind of interaction? Did you hook up with that Sesshoumaru girl or didn't you?"

There was a crushing silence.


	46. PreEmptive

Please visit mediaminer or sphereofsilence(dot)net for the scandalous uncensored version of the Kurama Arc. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical.

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

"So let me get this straight, Kurama," Yusuke began with his arms folded low across his chest. "We've faced down everything from evil tournaments to psychic rifts in the space-time continuum, and you want us to go up against a fanfiction site for ditching a few stories?"

It also arbitrarily deleted its entire NC-17 bracket a few years ago.

There was a faint twoinging sound as Tusuke blinked hard.

"As I was saying," Kurama turned back to his presentation, "many of the stories that are now being removed are at least allegedly in violation of their ratings..."

"Where do I start?!" Yusuke interrupted eagerly.

"Disgusting," sneered Hiei. "Is that all you humans think about?"

Just the guys.

"Heh!" chuckled Kuwabara. "Yusuke's only this enthusiastic because he still hasn't gotten to second base with Keiko!"

"HEY!" Yusuke jumped to his feet. "Like I told you, jerk, she wants to take it slow!!"

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

The thick black web of his thoughts tightened like a noose around his crooked mind. Miroku didn't feel the coarse cloth between his fingers. He didn't feel his arms braced against his knees. He didn't feel much of anything.

_If we do not slay Naraku, I will not live to see my prime_

"Houshi-sama?" Sango's familiar voice came from the direction of the camp.

Miroku didn't look up, but he could hear her boots in the grass. They stopped a few feet from where he was sitting.

"Houshi-sama, Inuyasha brought Kagome back to camp a few minutes ago. She's beside herself and won't say a word. What's going on, and where is Hojo-san?"

Miroku should have answered her, wanted to answer her, but there was just too much of it. He'd _known_, he hadn't _forgotten_, he'd just...

_You'll wind up a lonely old man. ...if you're lucky._

He'd never thought of it that way.

"Houshi-sama?" Sango asked. There was a rustling, and he sensed her sink to one knee beside him. "Why won't you speak to me?"

He could hear Mushin's words in his memory, _"Short or long, your life will be measured by its meaning. Your father knew that. That's why he spent his last years here with you instead of becoming one more of Naraku's nameless slain. Do you regret the time you spent with him?"_ Miroku closed his eyes, _"Don't turn your back on me, boy! You'll be throwing your life away!"_

"Sango," his words began softly, "if you knew that your time in this world would be short," his voice gained a dark strength, like a curse that widened day by day, "to what purpose would you put your days?"

Inuyasha would have smacked him for talking like that.

Kagome would have hugged him – at her own risk – and told him that everything would be all right.

Hojo would have come out with another god-damn lecture.

Sango just gave him his answer. "I would find a way to make my life do the most good," she told him. "If not for myself then for others."

"That's what I thought," he pulled his head halfway up, feeling the edges of his mouth grow light. "How is it that you always manage to lift my spirits, Sango?"

He looked up in time to see her blink. Sango opened her mouth and then closed it again, the dimness not quite hiding the tint that grew on her cheeks as he got to his feet. He shouldn't have been surprised. After all, he spent so much energy convincing the people around him that his spirits never needed lifting. How the hell was she supposed to know how much she did for him?

_"Women are funny about affection, boy. They need it to be expressed. If you hold your esteem for her inside your heart, then she'll never know of it, and it won't do either one of you a bit of good."_

His left hand twitched.

_"Now, there is a multitude of different ways in which you may demonstrate this affection... Remember, some are more appreciated than others..."_

Miroku clenched the tempted appendage into a fist and tucked it behind his back.

"Let's go back to camp, Sango," Miroku suggested, taking a step closer so that the edge of his robe just brushed her legs. "I'll explain on the w—"

An arm's length in front of him, Sango spun like a furious dancer and SLAP!!

"PERVERT!"

Miroku pressed his right hand against his cheek, blinking widely as Sango seethed.

"What was that for?" he demanded.

"You and your—"

"I _didn't_ that time!"

"But you were going—"

"No I wasn't!" He shook his head. "What was that, a pre-emptive strike?!"

"Can you blame me?" Sango asked, eyes narrowed.

Miroku pulled in a breath and the monkly patience that was in it. "Of—Of course not, my dear Sango," he said magnanimously. But now that I have already paid the price of offending you—"

Sango gave a humph.

"—then perhaps," his left hand inched forward, "you will consider allowing me to—"

"No," she said with her hands on her hips.

"But you didn't hear what I was—"

"No!"

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

Inuyasha circled the glade one more time, jumping silently from tree to tree. For someone who was supposed to be a terrified pile of idiot energy, the boy hadn't moved much. He'd covered barely a hundred yards during the time Inuyasha had been away with Kagome. From the scent and indentations in the ground, Hojo had crawled, then stumbled, and then walked to this place. Inuyasha could see him now, sitting, squatting, perching like a dead eagle with one hand on each knee and his head bowed. The dog demon blinked carefully. Were the boy's eyes open or closed? Was he asleep or—

"I know you're there," came a voice like a slack bowstring.

Inuyasha could have sworn that Hojo's mouth hadn't moved. The dog demon didn't move.

"I know you're there," he said again.

"How?" Inuyasha asked at last.

One listless hand brushed past the amulet at his neck and fell again. "I don't know."

Inuyasha dropped to the ground and moved toward the boy. Hojo turned and looked up at him. His eyes were completely dry.

"Did she send you?"

Inuyasha scowled

_"Inuyasha," she'd looked up at him. "Would you— I need you to—"_

Damn that girl and her big round puppy eyes.

"She doesn't want you dead," the words felt like acid against his tongue, "not that I can tell why."

Hojo looked away again. "I know." A moment passed. Inuyasha watched the boy's fingers play with some pebbles in the dirt. "She wants me to learn." He pointed his too-big eyes up into the canopy. "Some girls are like that. Who knows? She might even forgive me some day."

The dog demon felt his hackles raise. His muscles tensed. Should he go for the neck, the face, or just his shriveled little—

"Well..." Hojo trailed off before Inuyasha could answer, rubbing one grubby hand against the grubbier knee of his trousers. "As long as we're both out here, you and I really need to talk."

Inuyasha's ears flattened, "About what?" he demanded. "The way I see it, you thank me for not ripping your guts out through your ears and then we're done talking."

Hojo shook his head. "We need to talk about Kagome."

"She's none of your business anymore," Inuyasha snapped.

"She loves you," Hojo answered.

Suddenly the air seemed too slippery for Inuyasha's lungs, "No she—" breath. "Shut up!"

"Don't play dumb," said the boy.

Breath. "I'm just her—" _Stupid puppy, fluffy plaything._ Breath. "—I'm just a—"_ brat, wastrel, loser, mongrel, mutt_. Breath. "Shut up!"

Hojo shook his head. "Inuyasha, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the brightest crayon in the box sometimes, but I've been surrounded by girls since I was twelve years old. Do you really think that I don't know what to look for?"

Breath. "You don't know anything!" Breath.

"Inuyasha, if it only took me two days to figure it out, do you really expect me to think that you didn't know by now?" Hojo looked away for a moment. "Even if I couldn't see the way she acts around you, you're smart, strong, good-looking, and on the day you met, you saved her from a _giant bug_."

Inuyasha gulped. When he put it that way...

"I can't even kill spiders," Hojo admitted hopelessly. "I just sort of toss them outside."

"Do you have a point?" Inuyasha growled.

"I want you to stop treating her like garbage."

Inuyasha did lunge forward this time, pulling Hojo off his feet by the collar of his shirt. "What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded.

Hojo hung limply from the dog demon's grip, like a kitten with its neck in its mother's mouth. "You don't respect her," Hojo said simply. "At least, you don't act like you do. Kagome can't read your mind, Inuyasha. If you love her back then you're going to have to show it somehow. Thank her when she does something for you. Tell her she looks nice or that she did a good job. And for the love of heaven, _stop calling her a stupid bitch all the time!_"

Inuyasha flustered and dropped Hojo. The boy didn't even try to land right, slumping hard on one ankle. "Where Kagome and I are from, no self-respecting girl would stick around and let you talk to her like that. Quest or no quest, if you keep treating Kagome like the dust under your feet, then she's going to come back home forever."

_I know_.The dim thought was warm in Inuyasha's mind. Hojo was only tracing over tracks that Inuyasha had gouged into canyons on long nights waiting by the well.

"No matter what her other responsibilities are."

_I know_.

"No matter if she still loves you."

_I know._

"And I'm going to be there."

His mind froze.

"She hates me now," Hojo explained, giving a humorless laugh, "but maybe she will forgive me some day. And maybe it won't be me, Inuyasha, but it'll be someone. It's very easy to love Kagome. I swear, if she comes back crying because of something you did, I'll do everything I can to keep her from going back to you. I'll fill in the well or—"

There was a light cracking sound, and Hojo was sprawled on the grass. Inuyasha looked down at his knuckles. They slowly turned pink. Hojo touched the edge of his jaw with one fingertip.

Inuyasha flexed his hand.

_So much for my ten days_. At that moment, he couldn't make himself care. "She belongs with me," he growled. "She's my—" _home_ "—she's just mine."

Hojo kept his gaze. "She deserves someone who'll treat her right." He shook his head, "Inuyasha, it wouldn't take much from you to make her happy."

Inuyasha felt the stone in his expression seep all the way back through his neck. "Why are you telling me all of this?" he demanded. "What have you got to—"

"To gain?" Hojo actually laughed at that. For half a moment his dull eyes seemed lost. "It's really very funny that you should ask me that." Hojo looked back at him fiercely. "You really don't get it, do you? I've known her since grade school. I've loved her all my life!

"Kagome thought she was ordinary," Hojo explained. "I never understood why ... I mean she _was_; she was _normal_, but..." he spread both hands. "There's nothing bad about that! It was a sort of a ...beautiful ordinary."

Hojo's words sifted down on him like frost. "She's not yours," said Inuyasha. "She told you to stay away from her, and you'll do it or I'll make you do it."

"I know," Hojo closed his eyes for a moment. "Maybe it's like that stone you're looking for. You want it for yourself, but you'll settle for keeping it out of the wrong hands. A jewel needs to be treated like a jewel." His eyes found the dust again. "If not by me...

Inuyasha hated him and didn't. He wanted to hit him and didn't.

"Just promise me that you'll be good to her, Inuyasha."

The words came like knives from the back of his throat. "I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?" Hojo asked with quiet steel.

Inuyasha folded his arms. "I made a promise to someone else," he gravelled out. "And I aim to keep it. I can't make a new pact with Kagome or anyone else until this thing's done."

Hojo opened his mouth to say something, but then gave a tiny laugh and looked away. "And a promise is a promise, right?"

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

Hidden in the forest, and well downwind, a cold clay figure had seen everything.

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

_o_

Yusuke huffed. "Preach all you want, Hiei, but it's not like you were born from immaculate conception."

"Actually," said Hiei, "fire demon procreation is much more efficient than this filthy human process I keep hearing about. You see, the male demon only has to put his—"

The narrator promptly hit Hiei with a large fish.

Were you listening to the part about the NC-17 'fics?!

"Do that again!" shouted Kuwabara.


	47. The Best Tool

_Please see mediaminer or sphere of silence for the scandalous uncensored version of the Kurama arc. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical._

Kurama took a breath. "We—"

"Please!" interrupted Kuwabara.

Oh let him.

Kurama let out a sigh, "Very well."

Hiei shook his head. "You're hopless."

"I've always wanted to say this!" Kuwabara cleared his throat. "We interrupt your regularly scheduled Kurama arc to bring you this important announcement."

**U****ntil changes, clarifies or otherwise improves its deletion policies, new chapters by Ithilwen will appear on sphere of silence and on mediaminer at least twenty-four hours before they appear on ffnet.**

"Desperate times..." Kuwabara continued.

Desperate measures.

"But don't just take our word for it," said Yusuke.

"Examine the situation for yourselves," Hiei recited sullenly, "and then email the administrators with your assessment of the situation."

"And remember," Kurama chimed in urbanely, "polite letters are less likely to be discarded."

Thanks for your time and thanks for reading.

"The Kurama arc resumes at the end of this chapter!" Kuwabara finished gleefully. "How'd I do?"

"Terrible," said Hiei.

.  
.  
.

"It seems that your trip was quite eventful."

"Save it, hag. Just tell me what you learned about that chunk of glass the runt's got tied to his head."

"Is that what's kept him here?" Kouga asked. The wolf prince gave a snort. "I would have yanked it off his neck and been done with it."

"Great idea, wolf turd. Why don't you go try?"

"Alright, I will!" Kouga turned to go, then stopped mid-motion. "Wait..." he trailed suspiciously.

"Inuyasha, quit joking around," Sango interjected sourly. Inuyasha and Kouga's distaste for Hojo had become so visible that it was no wonder Kaede saw fit to comment. The very fact that they'd stood within ten feet of each other without any punches thrown spoke to that. ...and after finding out what the stupid boy had done, Sango wasn't in quite as much a mood to criticize as she had been two days before.

Sango fought down the flush on her cheeks. She hadn't believed it at first, not of a kind person like Hojo, but she knew that Kagome would never act on something so extreme unless she were sure. Inuyasha might have exaggerated. The monk might have exaggerated. Kagome might have been mistaken, but all three of them together would not.

_I should have known the day it happened!_ Thoughts identical to the last five thousand seethed like acid in Sango's brain. _I am a trained fighter. I should have recognized the pattern of the battle, I should have seen what he was going to do!_

Her strong fingers cracked against hiraikotsu's hand grips. She just had to... She had to...

"Well?" the dog demon demanded of Kaede, Kouga close on his heels.

She had to _hit_ something.

The morning after Hojo had spent the night alone in the woods had been uneventful, all things considered. The kitsune cub knew that something strange had happened, but his frequent – and unanswered – demands for information had faded once he'd figured out that Kagome wasn't in the least disinclined to let him ride on her shoulder, trot at her ankle, stay blissfully close to her the whole time. Still convinced that Hojo wanted to take Kagome away, the small demon took complete advantage of his new, very stretchy limits.

Shippo was not the only one to demand the miko's attention, however. Kouga had returned to the camp shortly after dawn, and, with a sweeping courtliness that belied his lack of other graces, asked Kagome if all was forgiven. Things might have gone better if he hadn't tacked a, "Where is the human runt anyway?" onto the end of that.

Hojo, to what Sango suspected was Inuyasha and Kouga's bitter disappointment, had made it back to camp under his own power, and in a much simpler and infinitely more sincere gesture, had touched his head to the ground and asked for Kagome's help getting home. After a long moment, Kagome had told him to get up.

Sango had barely been able to look at him after that. She admired Kagome's forgiving spirit, she truly did, but she did not share it.

"I am sorry, Inuyasha," Kaede shook her head. "I had hoped that some answer would come to me in the time it took for you to slay the serpent demons, but I still have no help to give you in regards to the power that holds the boy in this time."

"God damn—" Miroku caught himself. "I mean..." He re-collected his words as Sango and Kagome shook their heads. "Surely, Lade Kaede, there is something you could tell us, however small."

The old woman nodded, frowning. "Yes, there was some familiar essence to the stone..." Kaede trailed off as Inuyasha, Miroku and Kouga all leaned just a tiny bit forward. "...but I could not place the feel of it."

"Thank you anyway, Kaede," Kagome answered with sad warmth.

"Well so much for that," Sango breathed. "Does anyone have any ideas?"

"Chuck him down the well and see what happens," Inuyasha answered immediately.

"Head first," added Kouga.

Sango felt her eyes narrow. The air swished around her healing arm as she brought hiraikotsu down on each stupid canine head in turn. "I meant any _useful_ ideas," she hissed. "Houshi-sama," she turned to the monk in exasperation, "can you suggest something more constructive? "

"No," Miroku answered in a sullen monotone. "I want that fucking moron asshole gone."

_Swish!_

Thunk.

"One thing is certain," came Kaede's much-needed interjection. "We must discover more about this talisman before we attempt to send the boy back through the well. Who knows what effect its unknown magic might have had on it?

"Hojo did not respond well when I asked him about it," the priestess went on. "He was far too polite to divulge anything of meaning. Someone must pry from him the entire story of the strange device." She fixed her archer's eyes on Inuyasha and Kouga, "someone whom we can expect him to trust."

Sango gave a quiet sigh. "That probably counts me out. When Kagome told me what he did, I..."

"I _know!_" said Kouga, nodding appreciatively. "He's going to be feeling that one for—"

_Swi—_

"Ack!" Kouga ducked. Sango slid hiraikotsu back into place on her shoulder.

"I don't think I'll be able to talk to him either," Kagome answered.

There was a long silence.

Miroku hadn't budged from where hiraikotsu had sprawled him face-down on the turf.

"Everyone's looking at me, aren't they?" came the holy man's muffled query. No one answered. A sigh as heavy as a dead boulder slunk into the air. "Alright," he said, waving one hand as he got to his feet. "I'm going."

.  
.  
.

He found the boy splitting firewood. He was doing an ass-poor job, using a dull axe, holding the handle in the wrong place, and placing his feet far too close together. The way he was going, he'd probably chop off his damn foot right before whoever owned the ax showed up to pulverize whoever was wearing out his tools without permission. The boy wouldn't even be able to run away properly.

Despite everything, Mushin had had a sense of monkly discipline. Anything worth doing, he'd impressed upon his fool apprentice, was worth doing right, whether it was the search for enlightenment, the charming of a beautiful woman, or simply getting enough wood to cook dinner. All the tools, physical and otherwise, had to be kept sharp and treated with respect.

...and considering that he'd assigned wood-chopping as punishment for almost every offense, Miroku had much more respect for the process than he would have liked.

Hojo understood all that, Miroku could see. The kid knew how to be tactful and meticulous. He just...

Miroku shook his head. _He has no idea._ An image of the past night seeped back into his brain. _And I have been blaming him for that._ The monk took a breath and a step forward, moving up behind Hojo as he worked.

Then he noticed that Hojo had put his shirt aside – impeccably folded – to keep it clean.

But he hadn't removed the talisman.

The monk found his eyes drawn to the glinting gem. The stone was clear, and if it was anything but perfectly round he couldn't see from here. In fact, Miroku's brow creased as he realized, he couldn't figure out how Hojo had managed to get it to stick to the cord. There was, as he had noticed before, some unsteady gleam coming from its glassy core. The monk shook his head. He still couldn't place the sight.

Hojo brought his arms down in another clumsy chop.

Miroku blinked. _Did it just..._

The boy repeated the motion, and again, the quiet glow from the talisman flared a tiny bit, matching his movements.

"What does it mean?" the monk whispered to himself.

"Miroku!" Hojo replied, startling to a stop in mid-swing. He carefully set the ax aside. "I didn't see you there." He turned around.

The monk was suddenly very glad that they hadn't sent Sango. She, he was sure, would have found other things to think about than his earlier offenses.

"Just put your shirt back on. We need to talk."

"Okay."

Hojo picked up his shirt and dabbed carefully at his face with the inside cuff, where it wouldn't show. ...or wouldn't have if the garment hadn't already been rumpled and dirty from the past four days. Hojo buttoned the shirt from top to bottom, and tucked it in. "I'm sorry if I upset you last night," he said, dipping his head in admission. When he didn't get an answer, he continued. "Look, I know I was upset myself, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you and I'm sorry."

Miroku opened his mouth, then closed it again, unsure of how to respond. Hojo hadn't known what he was doing, but he'd still done it. The boy had hit a very large, throbbing, exposed nerve.

And Miroku wasn't about to explain it to him. The thought of telling Hojo – _confiding in_ Hojo – his situation.... There were many things Miroku could allow this foolish young man to take, many things he could teach him, many illusions he could gently lift away for the boy's betterment, but not this one. The kaza ana _did not belong to Hojo_.

"All you ever did was help me, Miroku," the boy continued his ramblings, "and I shouldn't have spoken to you so harshly."

But for the moment, it seemed that Hojo felt like groveling, and Miroku was not about to discourage him.

"...but I still think you need to change the way you look at the world. Higurashi and Miss Sango deserve better from you than what you've been giving them."

Still, he'd been sent here for a reason. He pulled in a breath, unsure of how to begin.

Hojo beat him to it, drawing his musings to a close. "I've been thinking," he volunteered.

"Yes?" asked the monk. "About what?" Whatever it was, it would be as good a place to begin as any.

"About Miss Kikyo, and Higurashi, and ...souls," The boy looked over his shoulder, toward the woods, "and about that well I came through. Sometimes things happen for a reason, you know? I think I must have fallen through the well for a reason," Hojo explained, shallow crinkles forming on his smudged forehead. "Higurashi must have met Inuyasha for a reason."

Miroku nodded, not sure where he was going.

"...but it's not always a big reason."

The monk blinked. "Hojo," he began, "I really came here to talk to you about—"

"Miroku," Hojo spread his hands, "when you told me about how Miss Kikyo died," Hojo took a step forward, both hands stretched out like a prayer, "and how that Naraku person tricked her into sealing Inuyasha, even though she loved him," he shook his head, "and how her spirit can't rest. No one deserves that. No one deserves to be trapped in their last, darkest moment for all time."

"Kikyo's situation is a cause for great sorrow," Miroku answered simply. "She does deserve more compassion than she gets, but I don't see what you mean by all of this."

"I mean..." Hojo trailed off. "Inuyasha was trapped too, wasn't he? And he would have stayed trapped if Higurashi hadn't come back."

"Yes," said Miroku. "She broke Kikyo's seal."

Hojo shook his head. "That's not what I mean. I mean that Inuyasha got sealed still thinking that Kikyo had never cared about him, and he would have thought that forever."

The monk allowed himself a smile.

Hojo nodded, also beginning to smile. "What I'm thinking is that, maybe, the jewel wasn't supposed to break. Maybe she was sent back in time just to give him closure or something."

"Closure?" asked Miroku, thoughts swirling to a stop.

"Oh, that's when..." Hojo trailed off, counting on his fingers. "To give him a chance to say what he needed to say to her, so that he could have a real goodbye. You know how... sometimes you can't really leave a place until you've had one last look? It's the same with leaving people. It's why we have funerals for people once they die: To let their friends let them go. Closure."

The monk found himself staring quietly into the pieces coming together behind Hojo's eyes, and he didn't like the shape they took. "You think that Kagome was not meant to stay here," he probed.

Hojo nodded. "I know it's selfish of me to think of it this way..." he trailed off again. "But Inuyasha _had_ his chance. Kikyo dying wasn't his fault, but it still happened, and—"

Miroku didn't think, he didn't even feel his hand move. He just slapped him full in the face.

Hojo blinked heavily, fingering the bead-studded mark on his face.

The monk flexed his hand. _Hm. Righteous anger... Aching wrist... So that's what if feels like to be on the other end._

"What did I say?" Hojo demanded.

"Listen and listen closely, boy," Miroku pulled his height into himself, drew every last bit of darkness into his voice, "there was more to the hole in Inuyasha's heart than Kikyo's arrow. There is more to Kagome's work here than healing it. If you in any way try to make her leave here before that work is done, I will see to it that you do not draw another breath."

Miroku could practically see the adrenal-fear seeping into the threaded blood vessels of Hojo's eyes. "What—"

"Kagome is more important here than you can imagine," Miroku hammered the words into the boy's heart. "Her task here is more important than me, more important than 'closure,' and far more important than your stupid infatuation."

The boy shook, but stood, "She has duties back home too, and if she keeps neglecting them," he swallowed, "she won't have much of a future to come back to."

"I know little of that world," Miroku admitted. "You may be right." He fixed both eyes on the boy's impossible hope, "But she will _always_ have us. Don't get in the way."

Hojo pulled back, "What is this?" he asked carefully. "I could understand it when Inuyasha says things like this," he shook his head, "but not you. You're not in love with Kagome."

"Perhaps not," Miroku couldn't stop his right hand from flexing hard, "but I still need her."

"Did you ever think," Hojo asked slowly, "that maybe my world needs heroes too?"

"I don't doubt that it does," Miroku told him. "But here and now, we need Kagome."

Hojo shook his head, "But shouldn't she get to decide?" he asked. "Have you or Inuyasha or Kouga or even Miss Sango asked if this," he stretched his arms out to the sky, the trees, the dull huts of Kaede's village, "is what she wants for her future?"

"Have you?"

Hojo fell silent.

"If the 'duties' you mention are her 'tests,'" Miroku's voice regained some gentleness, "then she knows the risks. She is always worried about something called an 'entrance exam.'"

The boy looked away, shaking his head. "I can't believe that she'd choose this." He looked up again. "This place amazes me," he allowed. "There are things of such wonder, but it's not where Higurashi belongs."

Miroku found his breath again, and it flowed easily. He held back a quiet smile, _"The best tools you'll ever own are stuck to the sides of your head, boy,"_ he could hear Mushin's voice clearly. _"But you must know how to use them. Sometimes people lie, sometimes people say what they mean, and sometimes—"_

The monk calmed his anger.

_"—sometimes people say what they think they mean."_

"Not where Kagome belongs," Miroku asked, "or not where you do?"

"I—"

This time it was Miroku who interrupted. "Hojo, if you wish to return to your homeland, we must know more about how you came to be here in the first place, and," he let his eyes trail meaningfully to the talisman hidden in the collar of his shirt, "about how that artifact came to be in your possession."

"I already told you," Hojo answered, placing one palm on top of the clear stone.

"Tell me again," he said calmly.

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So how did it go?

"Eh," Yusuke shrugged as the four of them filed back in. "We've done worse."

"We have indeed," admitted Kurama.

Kuwabara plunked himself down on the couch, "Here's what happened..."

_NOW IN FLASHBACKYVISION_

"Alright, deletion guys!" came Kurama's strident cry, "I am Kurama and I will hurt you a lot with my cool rose whippy thing."

"And I will hurt you more than that with my spirit gun!" included Yusuke.

"And I will hurt you most of all," came the fearsome voice of Kuwabara, famed fighter and man of honor, "because I am cooler and meaner and so very impressive!"

The awed crowed gave a hushed collective gasp. "Oooooooooooo..."

"He'll do it," Hiei uttered with conviction. "He's crazy."

_END FLASHBACKYVISION_

Were they scared?

"That is not how it happened," Hiei answered in a sullen monotone.

"I'm telling the story!" insisted Kuwabara.

"Not any more you're not."


	48. Listen

(Bows to therhoda and Niamh for being benevolent betas for this tricky chapter.)

(Bows also to Niamh for her assistance with the mother of all Kurama arcs.)

(Bows also to a third person who shall be thanked by name later on.)

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_What's happened to Kurama? See mediaminer or sphere of silence . net for the original version of the Kurama arc. The content of the chapter is otherwise identical. _

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Teles grumbled in frustration. "How do human women put up with all these damned 'hormones?'"

Sesshoumaru rubbed both sleep-deprived eyes, "A better question would be, 'How do human men?'"

The ex-goddes gave him a cutting glare. "The way I see it, you're putting up with nothing." Her icy glower brought no effect. "Sesshoumaru," she said gently. "I realize you said it would be bad for the pup, but you don't seem to understand how serious my situation is. I _really_ need—"

Sesshoumaru chose this moment to conveniently pass out from exhaustion.

"Gods damn it," Teles muttered over the dog-demon's hopeless snores.

With a sigh, she hauled her third-trimester body toward the computer. "A mortal body driven to distraction and my mate is too tired to help." She clicked twice on an artfully concealed favorites icon. "Well, at least I still have you, foxy-bish . net, "

An image of a slender youth wearing a very familiar ensemble flashed across the screen.

"WHAT the—?!" Teles leaned forward, eyes widening slightly. "It can't be! Youko Kurama, is that you?"

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"Tell me again," Miroku said with a threadbare calm.

Hojo put one hand to his forehead and took a step backward, stumbling predictably over his half-assed woodpile. Miroku fought the urge to roll his eyes. "My grandmother gave it to me," the boy explained, carefully setting himself down on an unsplit chunk of wood. "She told me to never take it off. I didn't."

Miroku touched one hand to his chin. They'd already been through this part of the matter. "Where did she get it?" he asked.

"She never said."

"Does she have other grandchildren? Why did she choose you for its bearer?"

"Something about needing all the help I could get. Look, Miroku," Hojo held out both hands, "my grandmother ...didn't like to explain things. She was a very strange person."

_Strange? _Miroku nodded, rubbing his chin. _If she thought it prudent to hand an object of supernatural power over to this shining specimen of human reason, then "strange" is probably the least of it_

"Although..." Hojo put one hand to his chin. "There the time when I stuck my hand in the stove when I was a kid." He shook his head. "She told my mom that every baby does it once," he scratched the back of his neck, "but I ...uh..."

Miroku sighed. "You were something special?" he prompted.

Hojo blinked. "Funny, that's exactly how she put it."

"So the talisman can also protect someone from fire? It is not limited to—"

"Blowing people up? I don't know," Hojo admitted. "Until Inuyasha tried to steal it from me, I didn't even know it could do that." The boy looked down, fingering the clear stone.

"You said your grandmother was strange," Miroku tried a different tack. "Strange how?"

"Oh I couldn't speak ill of—"

"Hojo," he growled out the word with an authority that would have made Inuyasha proud.

"Okay!" the boy protested. "She was paranoid for one. She always seemed to think that people were after her. Never anyone specific..." Hojo trailed off. "We just guessed it had something to do with why she left Ireland." He shook his head. "A woman doesn't move halfway around the world to start a new life without a big reason, especially not the way things were when she was young."

Miroku barely heard the end of Hojo's comment. Something was nagging at him. "What else?"

"She didn't like to talk about her old home. Her stories -- like the one about the changeling -- were about the only things we didn't have to pry out of her."

The nagging feeling intensified.

_Changeling..._

"Just a moment," the monk put one hand to his chin.

There was something about the talisman that he was missing, something about it that he'd already known, but forgotten before. The monk closed his eyes.

Grandmother.

Changeling.

What was the fire talisman? It was a source of power. It was an heirloom. It was a stone. It was a little ball that made things burn.

"_...magic ball..._" The voice in Miroku's memory was high and bright and far too calm. It was—

He slit his eyes open again, right onto that barely-evil gleam on the boy's collarbone.

_"...taking care of the changeling made the women tired and used up."_

Something...

"The changeling story was different from the others," Hojo continued with a searching frown. "She usually told the kind with lessons at the end. She always wanted my cousins and me to sit down and listen to... Miroku?"

_"What past sin did I commit that I must be cursed with such a disrespectful apprentice? Boy, pay attention when I tell you these things; there are lessons in them," _the memory of Mushin's voice cut like a razor through the knots in Miroku's mind. _"Sometimes a story is more than a story. Now shut up and listen."_

_More than..._

_"Why don't you join us, Miroku?" _He remembered Hojo's clueless smile_. "I was just telling Rin here a story."_

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Sango was kneeling on the ground just outside Kaede's house, hiraikotsu propped up on her shoulder while, with only a little less grace than usual, she polished it with her free arm. Kaede rested a mat, probably fetched from inside, bundling herbs as she waited. Kagome sat by her elbow, nominally helping, but really just holding herself upright, like she had been since the night before. Kouga was standing a few feet off, never one to sit still. Inuyasha leaned with practiced nonchalance against Kaede's doorframe, and the fact that he was directly between Kouga and Kagome made no nevermind.

And all five sets of eyes lifted and came to rest squarely on Miroku as he moved toward them.

The monk fought the urge to scratch at the back of his neck. _No pressure..._

"Miroku..." There was an odd quiver to the light in Kagome's eyes. "Tell me that you've figured something out."

_Once upon a time, there was a princess who lived in a beautiful village far from the ocean. It was an ordinary village, but she did not have an ordinary life. You see, the princess had magic eyes..._

"Where did Hojo say his grandmother was from?" Sango asked carefully.

"I-er-land," Miroku answered carefully. "I don't know where that is."

"It's an island," Kagome chimed in, "on the other side of the world." She shook her head. "Why would a woman from Ireland move all the way to Japan? Especially in... Did Hojo say when his grandmother left home?"

Miroku shook his head, "No," he answered, "but he did say that she felt as if something was chasing her."

_The princess would notice things that other people did not, a speck of light playing by the edge of the woods, a man no bigger than a cat walking from doorstep to doorstep with an empty bowl, a girl with tangled reeds for hair lying mouth-agape in the river. People always looked at her strangely when she spoke of such things, and she came to realize that no one wanted a princess with magic eyes. By the time she was sixteen, she knew better than to say one word._

"Hojo's grandmother had holy powers?" asked Kaede.

Miroku nodded. "From what he told me earlier, I think she may have had powers of some kind," the monk shook his head.

Kouga choked, "That idiot can purify things?" he demanded.

Kaede held up one hand. "Calm yourself, Kouga," she said wearily. "Neither Miroku nor myself has sensed anything at all unusual about this boy. He has no holy powers."

"Or they are buried," the monk added quietly.

"Thank heaven," muttered Kouga. "We have more than enough stupid priests running around causing all sorts of—what?" he demanded against the stares.

_So when the princess saw one of her friends holding a baby that glowed with an unearthly light, she never thought of saying one word out loud._

_The child had a sweet face, and wept piteously with hunger. Soon, all the village women were carrying and caring for the small visitor. It was as if they had suddenly gained a little prince._

_No matter how much they fed the child – with food taken from their own children's mouths – it stayed as thin as a stick and wouldn't grow. The sight of the glowing baby sent a chill into the princess' heart, as if its tiny feet were treading heavy on her grave._

"At least this explains why he was afraid of Shippo," Sango said quietly.

Miroku could only nod.

_But the princess swallowed her fears. The women in the village loved the frightening baby, for all that it never stopped crying. 'If they don't mind the extra work and worry,' she said to herself, 'then why should I?'_

_She swallowed her worry when gray hairs started to appear on their heads._

_She swallowed her worry when she found wrinkles painted on their smooth faces._

_She swallowed her worry when their bright eyes grew dull as mud._

_When she could count the bones poking through their thin skins, she knew she hadn't worried nearly enough..._

Kagome held in a mirthless laugh. "Jii-chan is always telling people that I miss school and act so tired because I'm sick," she shook her head, "but he's a terrible liar. Hojo probably took one look at Shippo and thought he'd found the real answer."

_The princess had heard stories about such sprits. Some said that a person could drive out a changeling by tucking it to bed in hot coals. The princess made up her mind to try. She waited until the child's caretaker had the baby alone in its cradle near the fireplace, and then—_

"Wait," Kouga's eyes narrowed. "She was going to throw her friend's cub in the fire?"

Miroku sighed, "In the story, it's not really a baby."

_And then—_

"Yeah, but how could she be sure? I mean—"

"Just let me finish."

_Then—_

"Now if humans _usually_ cooked and ate their cubs, maybe I could see it." Kouga frowned. "You don't, do you?"

"Kouga!"

"_Kouga!_"

"Let him finish, wolf turd!"

Kouga grumbled and shut his mouth.

_Then, just as the princess crept up behind the cradle, a spark flew from the fire and landed on the changeling's face. The princess heard what sounded like a grown-up laugh, and saw the child toss something round into the air._

_"So long as I hold tight to thee, no fire or flame can get to me," she heard._

_Another spark leapt from the fireplace and sizzled to ash on the baby's skin, leaving not a mark behind. "So long as I hold tight to thee, no fire or flame can get to me," she heard again_

"A talisman from a foreign demon," Kaede mused aloud.

_The princess knew that she would have to try something else, but what? She decided to wait._

_Weeks passed, and the princess' friends grew thinner and thinner, but still she hadn't thought of any way to help. She thought and thought, and nothing helped. She thought and thought until her head throbbed like a—_

"No wonder Hojo doesn't put much stock in thinking."

"Shut up, Kouga."

_One day the baby's caretaker, worn away to nothing, fell asleep. When the princess got up to cover her with a blanket, she saw the changeling from behind, tossing its ball. Without thinking, she reached out and snatched it right out of the air._

_The changeling flew into a rage and told the princess to give him back his magic ball or he would burn her skin off. It didn't look much like a baby any more. She could see its wrinkled face and its hands like twisted roots, and the big fat belly it had gotten from all the village women's food and attention. The princess was so frightened that she turned and ran away, with the magic ball still tight in her fist._

_The changeling followed her to the gate, yelling, "Give me back what's mine or I'll set your hair aflame."_

_The changeling followed her to the woods, yelling. "Give me back what's mine, or I'll set fire to your feet!"_

_The changeling followed her and followed her, all the way to the sea. "I'll see you burn from head to toe," it promised, "and cook everything in between."_

_"Oh, having magic eyes hasn't helped me," said the princess. "They've showed me what was true and false, but they can't show me how to get away."_

_"Give me back what's mine," the changeling called from the rocky edge where the gulls built their nests. The princess watched as the changeling gnashed its teeth. The princess watched as it eyed the hungry waves. The princess watched and watched._

_The princess stepped backwards into the salt spray, and watched the changeling howl. She didn't need magic eyes to know that it was afraid of water._

_The princess wanted to stay in her village, but she knew the changeling would never stop following her, not unless all the oceans of the world lay in between._

_So the princess found a ship and sailed away, hoping that she carried away with her all the changeling's power to do harm._

"That's where the story ends," Miroku told them. "I asked him what happened next, but he didn't seem to understand the question."

Inuyasha gave a snort. "Did you ask him if the princess gave the magic ball to her idiot grandson to cut his teeth on?"

"Don't be so harsh, Inuyasha," Sango said gently. "Hojo has heard this story since he was a small child. He probably stopped thinking about what it might have meant."

"He stopped thinking about too many things," Kagome answered quietly.

"One thing is certain," said Kaede. "We cannot predict how the bone eater's well will react to the magic of this talisman."

Kagome looked up, mouth opening mutely.

"What do you mean, old woman?" Inuyasha demanded. "That the runt's magic bubble might mess with the well?"

"Kaede," Kagome held up both hands, "the well—"

"Can you really mean to risk your only means of traveling between worlds?" Kaede asked. "Can we risk losing you to time? Child, no one at all has returned to your Tokyo since Hojo came here. It may be too late already."

"But if we don't at least try, then Hojo could be trapped here forever!" Kagome protested. "That would be terrible!"

"Yeah!" came the tripled response. Miroku looked away sheepishly. So did Inuyasha and Kouga.

"So there's nothing you can think of?" Kagome fixed her large eyes on the priestess.

Kaede shook her head, "Hojo's talisman only seemed familiar to me because of it was of demonic origin. But demons are as varied as the lands they inhabit. I truly cannot say."

A silence settled over the group.

The wolf demon broke it with a snort. "I hate to say this," he said, "but I think we should try dog breath's idea."

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"Ready?"

"Not really. I—"

The dog demon gave Hojo a sharp push and he tumbled backwards into the well.

"Inuyasha!" protested Kagome

"What?" he asked. "Didn't he say that he tripped down the well in the first place? I'm just trying to help."

"Ow..." Hojo's voice echoed up past the vines. "I don't think it worked."

Inuyasha shook his head. "So much for the easy way."

"Let me try," Kouga offered. "Maybe you just didn't throw hard enough."

The top of Hojo's head appeared over the edge of the well. Dull brown eyes flicked like startled fireflies from Inuyasha to Kouga and back.

"Here," Kagome held out her hand to Hojo with the same leashed coldness with which she'd regarded him since the night before. "Hold these and try again."

Inuyasha's eyebrow gave a twitch as the glass vial passed into the boy's bruised fingers. "You're not giving him our jewel shards, Kagome!"

"The well doesn't work for me without the jewel shards," Kagome protested. "We have to try everything, remember?"

The conflicted growl seemed to pulse straight from the hanyou boy's clenching fists. "Fine!" he snapped, clamping one palm down on Hojo's face and shoving him backwards into the well.

"Mnerrph!" the boy squeaked as he lost his hold.

"Stop doing that!" Kagome stamped her foot.

"Ow..." Hojo's amplified whimper echoed up to them.

"Yeah!" remarked Kouga. "It was my turn!"

"Oooooooh!" Kagome shook.

"Guys?" Hojo's voice poked out of the well like a skittish gopher. "Are we almost done?"

Sango watched the scene in the clearing with a deflated calm. She barely noticed when the monk came to stand beside her.

"I could try jumping through _with_ him..." Kagome's voice drifted across the grass.

"But what if his lousy essence plugs up the portal?" the dog demon pointed out. "I'm not carrying your broken ass all the way back to Kaede's."

"You know," Hojo suggested as he pulled his upper body over the wooden lip, "we could just _climb_ down."

"No one asked you," snapped Inuyasha.

Sango swallowed the silence in her throat as she surveyed the scene beside the well. Inuyasha's ideas were more likely to help Hojo into an early grave than back to his homeland, but nothing she could think to say would do one bit of good.

A warning rustle murmured by her side. Her eyes narrowed. "As satisfying as I'm sure you find this, Houshi-sama..." she began. "I think we need to consider what will happen if Hojo cannot return to his own time."

"I know," Miroku answered. "It's a very depressing conclusion to come to..." his voice trailed like a finger against bare skin.

"This is serious," she insisted, shoving his arm away. "Hojo can't even tell a harmless demon from a deadly one."

Miroku shrugged. "But he does know how to shut up and listen."

"Don't be so blasé about this." She spread her hands toward the scene by the well. "If he won't break his promise to his grandmother, then he has to learn how to stay alive in our world – not to mention control an object of immense power. We can't have him underfoot when we go after Naraku and we can't leave him with Kaede. What are we going to _do_ with him?"

Miroku's breath left his body in a defeated sigh as he looked up. "We're going to bring him to my master."

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Kurama frowned down at his cellphone. "Hm. It looks as though someoneleft me a message while we were putting the fear of hell into the administration." He opened it with a click. "I hope it's my lawyer."

Tell him to bring pie.

There was a click, and a recorded female voice pullsed from the speaker. "Hello Kurama. It's me. I know we haven't spoken in a long time, but I wish to ask a favor. My situation is quite dire—"

Yusuke gave a chuckle. "I didn't know you did damsels in distress, Kurama."

"—I'm in my third trimester, this stupid human body is _driving me insane, _and Sesshoumaru simply refuses to help." The message broke for a low sound that was either static or someone grumbling, "...damned stubborn youkai. I saw a picture of you on the Internet in that Final Fantasy costume and now I know there's only one way to solve my problem. Please, for old time's sake? Call me so we can make arrangements."

Kurama blinked.

"Well," said Yusuke, "my last comment just took on a new and scary meaning."

"Oh," continued the voice, "and money is no object." The recording ended with a click.

Kurama made a quiet choking noise.

I told you the Sephiroth costume was a good career move.

"Quiet, you!"


	49. Clearing

_Visit mediaminer or sphere of silence (.) net for the original version of the Kurama Arc. **No, really. This is really awful.**_

Teles is coming here to meet you?

"You do know that she is married to a Demon Lord," probed Hiei."Are you aware of how many different kinds of agony he could visit upon that human body of yours?"

You are all helping me clean up.

Kurama shook his head. "I have to know what this is about."

"It sounded pretty obvious to me, Kurama," said Kuwabara.

"No kidding," added Yusuke."They made us read about it in health class. Did you know that in the second trimester, some women—"

"Spare me the details," Hiei growled."When I want to know what goes on inside the human body, I'll slice one open."

The conversation ceased as a sleek black limo slid up the drive. A door opened, revealing a very pregnant ex-goddess.

Kuwabara sidled up to the car, "Let me help you, ma'am," he said, offering her his arm.

The lady smiled winningly. "Why thank you."

"You may remove your hands from my wife, human," came a growling voice. Kuwabara hadn't even heard the car door open. He turned to seea tall, white-haired dog demon in a nine-hundred-dollar suit.

"Hey, you're that Sesshoumaru gir—"

Yusuke elbowed Kuwabara in the ribs.

"Okay!" he squeaked."Letting go!"

Telles rolled her uncannily green eyes. "You will have to excuse my mate. It is in his nature to be overprotective." She turned toward Kurama and, taking both his hands,greeted him with a peck on the cheek. "You look well, Kurama," she told him,"if very different from what I remember."

"I know the sentiment exactly, Lady."

The reunion was interrupted by an ominous growl.

"Sesshoumaru, for gods' sake, _stop that!_" insisted Teles.

Kuwabara chortled, making a whip motion with one hand."Wha-pssssh!" Yusuke nodded quietly.

A pair of cold yellow eyes caught Kuwabara's skull in an evil grip.

"Uh, I meant..." Kuwabara faked a sneeze. "Wha-choo!"

_What's happened to Kurama? See chapter forty-four to find out.The content of this chapter is otherwise identical, so if you don't tune in for boxer torment, then feel free to disregard the above._

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"Did you slap him too hard, Sango?" demanded Inuyasha. "It almost sounds like he said—"

"Mushin," Miroku repeated. "We will take Hojo to Mushin."

Sango shot the dog demon a look, then turned back to where she and Kagome were helping Kaede fix dinner. ...Or rather, where Sango was helping and Kagome was sitting listlessly as they discussed yet again what might be done with the boy from her home village. The taijiya looked away. Kagome had nothing to feel guilty about. If anything, she had been far too easy on the boy. It was not Kagome's fault if the well chose to inflict a harsher punishment on him.

Sango closed her eyes. Kagome had felt responsible for the boy since the minute he'd fallen through the well into the real world, and now he would be lost to his family forever. Getting the young miko to feel at ease with that would be like getting water to flow uphill, and... Sango held in a sigh. _Hojo is faced with a permanent separation from his family and loved ones_. A village, still guarded by its broken palisade rose in her mind. _That is more than many hearts can bear_.

"I have to admit, monk," Kouga broke the silence around Kaede's cooking fire, scratching his head. "Even I can't follow your logic on this one. I thought high monks weren't allowed to purify other humans."

"Kouga!" Sango admonished. "Miroku doesn't mean for Mushin to exterminate Hojo." Her eyes suddenly went to slits. "At least he'd better not."

Miroku sighed, rubbing one hand over his eyes. "I suppose I deserve that."

"And frankly," she turned her evil gaze back to Kouga. "I'm growing more than a little tired of this stupid, territorial demon thing that you hold against Hojo. He's shown himself a fool, but—"

"Ah..." Miroku held up one hand. "It pains me to correct you, Sango, but it isn't a demon thing." He pressed his palm to his breast. "I assure you, I hate him too."

"Ow!"

"_Ow!_" The taijiya rubbed her arm, stifling a wince.

"Be careful, child," Kaede told her. "You must not use that arm of yours until it is more fully healed."

"Thank you, Priestess Kaede." Sango shook her head. Miroku was right about one thing, though: Hojo needed supervision. Who knew what trouble he'd get into while they weren't looking? Shippo had run off to play somewhere, which was good. Inuyasha had assured Hojo that his organs would be alphabetized should Shippo come to further harm, which was better.

"Allow me to explain," said Miroku. "When I was studying under Mushin, he would often express his longing for an apprentice with less wit and more respect," he informed them with an air of elegant duty. "It is high time I repaid him for all the years he spent raising me, and it gives me great pleasure to do so by granting this, his dearest wish."

Inuyasha gave a short laugh. "You just want to make the old coot eat his words."

"I do anticipate a certain satisfaction," the monk admitted, "but there are many other strong reasons to follow this plan of mine, not the least of which—" He gave Sango a pointed look. "—that I grow weary of the suggestion that the world has not enough virtuous monks. Hojo is far from the greatest mind I've ever known, but he is patient, he is dutiful, he can already read and write—"

Kouga choked. "He _can?!_"

"Yes," Miroku finished heavily. "More importantly, if there is any power in him, then Mushin can bring it out, and if there is no power in him, then he can at least teach him to stay alive."

"I must admit," Kaede's heavy voice settled over the roiling conversation. "Despite any other motives that Miroku may have, sending the boy to be trained as a monk does not sound like the worst idea I've heard all night."

Inuyasha gave a snort. "Whatever gets the ugly runt out of our hair. He can't come with us and he can't stay here without a babysitter. That old drunk in the temple is our best bet."

Kagome nodded soberly. "I think it's a very good idea."

"You stupid girl! I'm only trying to—" Inuyasha blinked. "You do?"

Kagome shrugged emptily. "We tried the well. We tried the talisman. We're past the point where we can give him more choices. If he doesn't want to be a monk, then he can just walk away." She pulled in a breath and let it leave her body in chunks. "It's settled then. If you guys don't mind, I'm going to go for a walk and clear my head now."

Sango half rose to follow Kagome's slack shoulders as she shifted the reed curtain and slipped out the door, but Inuyasha beat her to it, trotting after the girl with a half-audible curse. "Where do you think you're going, you stupid girl?"

Kouga's eyes narrowed. "You're not going without me, dog breath."

Miroku looked up as Kouga made for the door. "Sango, would you?"

"Of course, Houshi-sama." She hefted Kaede's ladle.

"Ack!" Kouga fell headfirst into the wall as Sango's blow stunned his calf. "What was that for?" he snarled.

"You should not be so ready to follow Inuyasha this time, Wolf Prince," Kaede said smoothly. "Now if you would please return my ladle..."

"A good fight with Inuyasha is likely just what Kagome needs to put this Hojo matter into perspective," Miroku spoke up. "None of us should interfere."

"Hojo..." growled the wolf demon. "This is all his fault."

"Indeed," answered Miroku.

Kouga gave a snort. "It's a miracle that a weakling like that lived to adulthood in the first place."

"I have wondered about that myself," mused Miroku. "During my training, one of the things Mushin tried to impress upon me was that strength of mind can be more potent than strength of body."

"The runt doesn't have that either, Priest."

"That would be my concern, yes," finished Miroku, rubbing his chin. "I suppose the source of Hojo's power will forever elude us."

Sango felt her eyebrows shoot up. "His power? Hojo has no power," she said as Miroku and Kouga turned their empty, disdaining skepticism toward her. "There is nothing at all mysterious or special about him. He didn't shout or call names. He didn't let his hands wander and he didn't flirt with anything that moved. Maybe that seems like a power to you, Priest."

A slight smile had touched the old miko's mouth. "It seems Sango understands the matter well. In this company, at least, Hojo's restraint makes him a rare gem indeed."

"Nonsense!" scoffed Kouga. "If I'd restrained myself in our last battle with Kagura, we would all dance to her wind tonight. Only a fool holds back."

Miroku clasped his chin with one beaded hand, gaze fixed somewhere in the woodwork. Sango frowned. It was strange to see the delinquent priest put this much thought into something that wasn't a con or a woman of questionable morals. His voice dropped to a murmur. "Can that be it?"

Sango felt her mouth open and close, a strange idea forming. "Surely, Houshi-sama..." she trailed. "Surely this is not a new concept for you."

He turned his eyes toward her, but did not answer.

Her startled breath seemed to trip inside her lungs, "But... the cold glares, the silent treatment!" She searched his face. "The _beatings?_ Did you miss the point of all of it?"

"Sango, I—"

"I practically slap you senseless every time you do something lecherous, and you never figured out that—"

"Sango!" he got to his feet. "That isn't it at all." He held up both hands. "Something just sprung to mind," he assured her, edging toward the door. "Please excuse me."

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"Inuyasha, I just want to—"

"No. You're sulking over something that isn't your fault."

Her shoulders rose and sank. "It's not about fault."

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed against the stinging gold of the sun's last rays. He gave a snort, crouching down next to where Kagome sat, elbow to knee and fist to jaw on the white steps of what would become her shrine. "What then?" he demanded. "If you're finally over blaming yourself for Hojo, then why can't you act normal? Everything's decided."

"But it's not over."

Inuyasha dropped into a sitting position. "What do you mean?"

Kagome's head shook slowly from side to side. "I've thought about what to tell Hojo's family, how to break it to them that their son isn't coming back, but..." Her teeth peeked out of hiding to clamp on her lip. "They'll want to know what happened."

He shrugged. "So tell them. Tell them that Hojo's all right and—"

"—and that he's fallen through a magic well into a past full of demons and witches and all the other things we thought were made up?" She moved, really moved, for the first time, sliding toward him to fix her hands like cool weights against his shoulders. "They won't believe me. Or worse – they will." Her eyes pressed shut, chin dropping to her breastbone. "Whether they call the police or a nuthouse, it will be the same. Hojo disappeared and I know something. Anything could happen. They could say that I killed him, or that my mother did. There's nothing we can do that can make this—"

"Write." The word leaped out without permission.

Kagome looked up. "Huh?"

"The monk said that the runt can write. Have him tell his family to leave you the hell alone." Inuyasha swallowed, unused to the blank openness that flooded her face.

Kagome blinked her wide blue-gray eyes, posture going a different kind of limp.

Inuyasha squirmed, pushing one of her hands off his shoulder. "I'm just saying, since you keep hauling those stupid books back and forth, I figured you could take one little piece of paper." Kagome didn't say a word. He held in a tiny growl. "Will you quit looking at me like that?"

The girl looked away, still silent.

Inuyasha growled for real this time. "So what if it's bad idea? It's better than moping out here like a—"

"It's a good idea," Kagome answered in amazement. "I mean... It's at least a start. People will still come to the shrine and ask questions, but—"

The idea sank through the sand into Inuyasha's mind. "So why are you acting all surprised?!" he fumed. "It's not like I never have good ideas or anything!"

Kagome laughed, ruining a perfectly good tantrum, and slid forward to hug him around the neck. Inuyasha growled for real, but without the anger. At least she smelled nice.

"It's just not often that I need an answer and one just shows up for me gift-wrapped," she explained. If her breath felt soft against his cheek, he didn't blush. ...that was just a trick of the light. And he certainly didn't slip one arm around Kagome's waist to feel the pulse at the small of her back. She was just heavy and awkward.

And if he happened to notice one of her hands slip up to cup the back of his head, then it certainly wasn't because of a certain squeaky sound, not unlike that of a small puppy seeing someone walk toward him with a treat. Oh no, everything was perfect this ti—

Inuyasha felt his spine go tense, radiating outward to his arms as he twisted his shoulder and swept Kagome's hands off his neck.

"Inuyasha?"

He gulped hard, feeling his teeth clamp down on the frustration in his mouth. Squeaking like a little animal in front of Kagome... At least caught himself in time. ...so wasn't he supposed to feel relieved?

Bad enough that his damn ears marked him for this thing that he was, a creature half-transformed into a taiyoukai totem beast. Bad enough...

His eye flicked to the side of Kagome's neck, the world taking on a veil of ashy gray as he figured it out. The layers of his own mind had betrayed him. He wanted to feel her touch, wanted to roll belly-up on the ground, keen like a cub come home, and forget he'd ever been anything else.

"I'm sorry." Kagome's eyes were drifting down into the grass. "I forget that you don't like to be hugged."

"It's not—" Inuyasha clamped his mouth shut. "Nothing," he answered, feeling a growl build in his throat. It seemed as though everyone needed to clear their heads tonight. "I gotta go," he all but snarled, jumping off.

A few minutes later, he found himself pacing near the edge of the village. His words came in angry undertones, "Stupid girl... Why does she have to—But then I—Arrrrrgh!"

There was a telltale jingling of metal. "There you are." An urbane voice floated out to him through the dusk.

"What do you want, bouzu?"

"Something Sango said made me wonder." Miroku took a few steps toward him. "What exactly did Kagome have to promise you to defend Hojo as you have these past days?" A hard amber glare did not dissuade him. "She did promise you something, did she not?"

Inuyasha growled, dropping down to his haunches, both fists pressed hard against his cheeks. "Tendaysfnosids," he muttered.

The monk blinked his too-big eyes. "What was that?"

"Ten days no sits!" he shouted back. "She said that if the runt gets home safe and sound, she won't use the damn spell on me for ten days."

"I see." Miroku nodded. "And were there any special terms involved?"

The memory brought a growl to his throat.

"_I'll do everything I can to keep her from going back to you. I'll fill in the well or—" _

_There was a light cracking sound, and Hojo was sprawled on the grass. Inuyasha looked down at his knuckles. They slowly turned pink. Hojo touched the edge of his jaw with one fingertip._

"I'm not supposed to hit him," he answered.

"I thought that might have been it," Miroku mused, rubbing his chin. "Well!" he said cheerfully, "now that Hojo will never again set foot in his native land, you may as well have at it."

Inuyasha scowled. Something else was going on here. "What are you really getting at?" he demanded, jumping back to his feet. "What's the big deal with helping Hojo anyway? Hell, you put up with the little runt tons more than I do!"

The monk blinked.

"Damn it!" the dog demon threw one arm toward the sky. "The kid would have been dead three times over if not for you. What the hell has he got on you, anyway?" Inuyasha's mind froze, and one claw jabbed toward Miroku's face. "He didn't catch you doing more than flirt with some girl and now he's threatening to tell Sango, is he?"

"Ah..."

"He did?" Inuyasha asked in amazement. "Fuck! If Sango doesn't have your ass for this, I will!"

"That's not it!" the monk insisted. "I owe Hojo nothing, but—" He rubbed one hand across his forehead, "but it feels as though I do."

The dog demon folded both arms. "What do you mean?" he demanded.

"I don't understand it myself," the monk answered through gritted teeth. "Believe me, if I did—" He took a breath, composing himself. "Perhaps it is that Mushin cared for me when I was a boy. Without his guidance, I would be twice the fool that Hojo is today. I do have some responsibility to pass on what kindness was given to me. Besides, he brought something to my attention," he closed his eyes, suddenly looking much older than he was, "something that I should have noticed myself, long ago."

_"If you keep treating Kagome like the dust under your feet, then she's going to come back home forever."_

Inuyasha poured all the blackness of the memory into one growled word. "So?"

"So perhaps he's not as hopeless as we thought."

The dog demon gave a snort. "Is that why you came out here?"

Miroku shook his head. "I had a question, and you've answered it. That was all."

There was a long pause. Crickets chirped.

"And Sango was about to beat me senseless any second."

"Hm."

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The sigh slipped past the boy's lips like a spirit into the twilight air. "What do you want from me?" he breathed, both palms pressed down in prayer against the lip of the Bone-Eater's well. "Come on," he coaxed.

His eyes were still shut, unaware of the dim witch-light pulsing like a second heartbeat at his throat.

The well knew it.

"I came all the way out here by myself, just to figure out what's what." His whisper was clear and empty as a starry night. "I could die out here just for coming to talk to you. How do I..." One hand left the splintering wood to fist against his forehead.

One thing for another. She sighed. He was such an innocent.

"I thought you understood," said Kikyo, stepping into view.

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_We now return to our regularly scheduled imitation of the Kurama arc, brought to you by New and Improved Coca-Cola. Taste the mediocrity!_

"You're right," muttered Kuwabara."The voice makes it way easier to tell."

"Keep it down!" snarled Yusuke.

I thought you would like to see this. (Shows Teles the Sephiroth costume.)

Teles brightened, "Are these the real clothes that—"

Sure are.

Teles took hold of the Sephiroth costume, an evil gleam rising in her eye. "Yes. Yes, I believe this will do nicely."

Sesshoumaru eyed Kurama coldly. "Surely you cannot be the famed fox bandit Youko Kurama."

"I am indeed," he answered."Nice suit."

No fighting. I just had the rug cleaned.

"Idon't like you. I like this idea of my wife's even less." Sesshoumaru'svoice turned sullen. "...but I did promise, so if this 'transaction' of yours fails to please her—"

"Yes," said Kurama,"about that. To be perfectly honest, I—"

"Hm..." Teles shook herhead as she examined a seam. "I'll probably have to make some alterations."

Alterations?

She held the costume up against Sesshoumaru. "It looks like it will be a little tight around the chest. What's your tailor's number again?"

No way! That thing's an original!

"Beloved," Sesshoumaruheld up both hands,"I know your body gives you difficulties, but I will not wear this foolish garment."

"Sesshoumaru, I will not tolerate argument from you about this -- not now," she said firmly."Atonement, as I believe they say in this vernacular, is a bitch. Very well. So how much are you asking for this costume?" she asked Kurama."...and I would like to take the time to remind you about that instance when you required my..." she coughed delicately,"assistance."

There was a crushing silence.

"If anyone tells him what we were all thinking," Hiei snarled to Yusuke and Kuwabara in a near-silent whisper,"I will kill you both horribly."


	50. Awake

Yusuke looked up from his card game as a brown-haired girl in a World Taekwondo Federation T-shirt stomped in, hefting a crossbow over one shoulder.

"Hello!" chirped TankBBG. 'I'm the two thousandth reviewer! What cool antics do I get to do?"

Yusuke accepted another spade and answered, "Right now we're trying to keep Hiei from throwing another fit." He cast a glance toward the fire demon, who was sulking evilly in the corner.

"Yeah," said Kuwabara, dealing another round, "and it's not working."

TankBBG gave Yusuke a companionable clasp on the shoulder. "You'll do fine, guys. It's not like Sesshoumaru _knows_ you thought Teles was going to pay Kurama for sex."

The three boys froze in horror as – fifty feet away – Sesshoumaru's ears gave a twitch.

"He does now, moron," snarled Hiei.

_One millisecond later…_

"Disrespectful vermin!" seethed Sesshoumaru, in hot pursuit, as traces of venom began to form on his claws. Kuwabara and Yusuke were already tearing away as fast as their human legs could carry them.

"You," Hiei snarled between strides, "are the dumbest guest star ever!"

"Am not!" insisted TankBBG, firing a crossbow bolt over her shoulder.

Sesshoumaru promptly caught the missile and dissolved it in acid, to TankBBG's horrified meeping.

"Can't—" gasped Kuwabara, "—can't you just shotgun him or something?

"No!" answered Yusuke, "I used up today's quota on that busload of telemarketers."

Still running, the boys clasped hands.

"Totally worth it," muttered Kuwabara.

"Yeah."

_What's happened to Kurama? For the scandalous uncensored version of the Kurama Arc, or at least for a version that's easier to avoid, visit mediaminer or sphere of silence. The content of the chapter is, as always, otherwise identical._

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I would like to thank my betas, therhoda and the inestimable Niamh.

I would especially like to thank Squeakyinuears, not only for her comments upon this piece, but for her miraculous ability to keep a secret.

There's supposed to be a quote from Farscape here, but according to new policy on songfics, anything that's not 100 my own invention is plagiarism, even a perfectly cited one-line quote that highlights the grace and glory of this wonderful series, not to mention the mini-tribute that I've given it in this chapter. Please pop over to mediaminer or sphere of silence to have a peep at it. –D'Argo to Crichton,_ Farscape_

_"When the student is ready, the master shall appear," _– Utter Crap, but at least it's public domain

That's www . mediaminer . org / fanfic / view ch . php ? id 34983 & cid 328410 & submit View

and www. sphereofsilence . net / fiction / viewstory . php ? sid 275.

Thank you all for reading

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The boy's fingers released the splintered edge of the well, as if he'd been caught in the act.

"Miss... Kikyo."

She had seen that look before, on Saiyo's face the night she'd left her village for good.

So someone had enlightened the boy. Kikyo's smile returned to her face, but with only half its usual detatched amusement. Something about his fear rang foul.

"You're not surprised to see me," she observed, eyes settling on the dim light at Hojo's throat.

Hojo shook his head.

"You knew I was coming."

He nodded again. The witchlight pulsed.

"How?" she breathed, barely audible in the whispering night.

Hojo took a breath, "Miss Kikyo, I—" She cut him off with a slicing motion of her hand.

"I wasn't talking to you."

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He still felt warm. Her hands had been calloused as a mile of bad road, but so gentle that it just made him—

_Twitch! Twitch!_

Inuyasha pressed his ears down against his head. If he were lucky – fat chance – then maybe the stupid bouzu hadn't noticed.

"Inuyasha, are you all right?"

"I'm fine!" he snarled. Dammit but he needed something to take his mind off that stupid girl. "So why's Sango out to crack your skull this time? You usually leave her alone when she's injured."

If it was possible, Miroku actually looked sheepish for a moment. "She mentioned something to me about restraint, and how important it is to her. Truth be told, that was why I asked all those questions about your arrangement with Kagome."

_"I won't do it for a whole week_.

_"I won't use the spell around your neck."_

_"I won't collar you."_

_"I won't make you heel like a yappy little dog. Who wants his ears scratched? Who wants a tummy rub? Who's my floofie little—"_

"Do your ears always do that, or is this an uncomfortable topic?"

Inuyasha slapped his palms down on top of his head, "Mind your own business, bouzu."

"Of course, of course..." Miroku sounded just a little bit too accommodating. "You know, my master Mushin used to say—"

"When he wasn't asking for another mug?"

"—that too. He often said that when a man's body betrays him, it is often because of something trapped in his mind."

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. "Did he?"

"...and if that which is trapped is released, his limbs will again obey him."

The dog demon gave Miroku a suspicious glare. "That doesn't sound like something Mushin would say."

"I know him better than you do, Inuyasha," Miroku pointed out. "Although," the monk sucked in air between his teeth, "instead of 'limbs' he actually said—"

"You can stop."

"My point is," he continued smoothly, "perhaps you should let me know what's on your mind."

"Bouzu, if you think I'm going to talk to _you_ about—"

Miroku held up a hand, "Consider your alternatives."

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"And that's what happened," he finished. Inuyasha folded his arms. "Well?"

_Miroku hid a chuckle behind one hand. "Well," Miroku glanced at Inuyasha's ears, "the issue is a bit fuzzy."_

_"Quit with the snide comments, dammit!"_

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"I don't figure you expected me to come to you with this," Inuyasha explained. "But it was you or no one."

_"Of course, Inuyasha," said Hojo. "Just let me get one thing straight. So you really are a pet?"_

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"So that's my problem. What do you think, Kouga?"

_"MYAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"_

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"I'm glad we could have this talk, Naraku."

_"Kukuku... Now I know your weakness, Inuyasha!" Out of nowhere, a tentacle reached toward Inuyasha's scalp._

_"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"_

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"All right, Miroku," Inuyasha sulked. "It's that stupid girl again."

"Ah, not calling Kagome by name," quipped the priest. "It must be serious."

"It is," he growled. "Kagome, she—"

Miroku leaned forward expectantly.

"She..." Inuyasha's shoulders went slack as he looked up. He had no idea how to explain. "She keeps... I keep telling her to stop, but she keeps on—And I'm not sure I _want_ her to not to— You know what I mean?"

"Oddly enough, I do," Miroku answered. "Tell me, Inuyasha, a few days ago, Hojo let slip something about Kagome scratching your ears..."

"I'm going to rip out that pus-faced bastard's lungs through his squawkhole."

"So it is about that?" Miroku leaned back, tipping his eyes toward the new stars as arms stretched out into a shrug. "Hojo will be gone soon. He might not be so ideal of an apprentice as I made out earlier, but Mushin isn't one to turn his kind away."

Inuyasha stared at the grass. "It's not Hojo."

"Kagome, then?" Miroku's confused voice drifted over Inuyasha's shoulder. "If anything, Kagome seems to adore your—" the monk's eyes flicked to Inuyasha's ears, which flattened against his head in response "—your distinctive youkai traits."

"She adores Shippo, too," he snarled.

"Ah."

For some reason, Inuyasha's body wouldn't sink into the stone steps, wouldn't freefall out of its place and disappear, antlike into the grass.

"Do you believe," Miroku asked carefully, "that Kagome thinks of you as a—"

"Stupid crying puppy," the words burst from his mouth like a sickness. It felt strangely good to say it out loud, daring the world to tell him otherwise.

"Why would you think this?"

"Why the hell wouldn't she?" Inuyasha demanded. "What she was doing... It just felt so good – too good, and I..." his voice failed.

"You didn't ...lose your composure, did you?" Miroku seemed unsettled.

One twitch away from thumping his foot against the floor like a flea-scratching stray... "I sure as hell did. Hojo might even have walked in on that part." He gave a humorless laugh. "I don't even remember."

Miroku rubbed his gloved palm through his hair, beads clacking. "Well, such a lapse can be difficult to recover from. How did Kagome react?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "There wasn't time. A minute later the fucking human walks in on us."

"Did she say anything about it afterward?"

"Not exactly," Inuyasha mumbled. "She did it again," he barely breathed. "Once, before the fight with Kagura. And she almost did two more times." He gave an evil snort. "At least I managed not to—" He shook his head.

"That's good," Miroku nodded. "If you're lucky, she thinks it was just a one-time thing. But tell me," he sounded confused. "What does this have to do with her thinking you're like Shippo?"

"What the hell is she supposed to think?" he fumed, suddenly on his feet. "If I'm squeaking like a lost cub anytime someone rubs my damn ears. How is she supposed to—How am _I_—" Inuyasha sank back down, knuckles twisting in the hair at his temples. "It means they were right," he breathed. "The wolf, my asshole brother, all of them. It means every one of them was always right about me being some damn mutt."

"So..." Miroku's voice wove left and right, like a man searching for the end of a maze. "You were alone, in the dark, with a pretty girl who was scratching your head..." Inuyasha stared into the treeline willing something – anything – big and hairy to come crashing loose and spare him this conversation. "...and you made a funny noise?"

"That's what I said."

"Oh!"

"What the hell did you think I meant?" he demanded, not sure if he wanted to know.

"Ah..." The monk rubbed the back of his neck.

Two gold eyes went wide. "Dammit, pervert, not everyone's..." he fumbled "_...you!_"

"I don't have that problem," Miroku remarked with uncharacteristic defensiveness.

"I _don't care!_"

"All right, Inuyasha, let us return to the issue at hand."

The dog demon snorted.

"Somehow," Miroku pieced, "I don't feel that this is about what Sesshoumaru or Kouga, or Hojo for that matter, say or think about you."

"Who cares what they think?" he muttered.

"Exactly. Now Inuyasha, please humor me for the next few minutes as I presume to guess at the source of your discomfort."

_You don't need to guess, priest. The ears tell it all: I'm a damn half-dog._

"I think this is more about how Kagome sees you."

"Who cares about that stupid girl?"

"We both know that you do. Inuyasha," the monk placed a on his shoulder, "there was something that Mushin told me long ago, something of which I've only recently been reminded," he said, taking a breath, "'A child constantly reaches for that which he desires, but a man will withhold or release his influence as the situation warrants.'"

Inuyasha snorted. "That makes you about six years old, priest."

"Fair enough," Miroku shrugged. "A shame that you won't receive those ten days Kagome promised you. It might have been interesting to see whether you could restrain your desires yourself rather than have our young priestess do it for you."

_Fat chance of that now._ "What the hell does this have to do with anything?"

"It means," Miroku explained, "that you've extolled your youkai senses and superiority and now – I think – now you want her to see you as a man."

The dog demon swallowed the sourness in his mouth. He should've just kept his damn yap shut. This hentai bastard had nothing but dusty memories to offer him.

"And you believe this... puppy sound makes her think of you as an animal."

_Damn straight_.

"I'm going to say something, Inuyasha..." Miroku began.

_What the hell does it matter?_

"I know you don't like to think about it this way..." the priest went on.

_She's just going to go home to Hojo's world anyway._

"...but that could just as easily have been your human side."

"Huh?"

Inuyasha's mind went completely, crystallizingly blank. He sat up, twisted at the waist, and turned two confused eyes and the ears in question toward the priest. The light was probably already too dim for his human eyes, but Miroku was looking at him expectantly, like an archer waiting to see if a new-loosed arrow would hit its target.

"But..." Inuyasha's voice was barely above a whisper, "but human men don't..."

"Yes we do."

"I mean..." Inuyasha waved one claw toward his throat. "The sound with the—"

"Inuyasha," Miroku took hold of the demon's forearm. "_Yes we do_."

"So it's not a..."

"Dog thing?" the monk shrugged. "Maybe not."

Although he never would have admitted it to –hell, _anyone_— he could be slow, very slow, when it came to anything but fighting. Out of the thoughts blowing like dry leaves inside his skull, one idea slowly coalesced:

Being human wasn't as good as being a demon; he'd never lied to himself or anyone else about that. Humans were weak and slow, and most of them didn't exactly gleam with wit, but _damn_! Being some human had everything over being some dog.

"It seems I may have been correct." The monk was dusting off his hands. "Women don't always want us to be strong and masculine," he placed one hand against his breast, "however much our natures may demand it. Kagome, in particular, seems to like it when you let her see your soft side."

"She's seen enough of my damn soft side."

"But you want her to do it again, don't you? Ear-scratching wouldn't be my first pick for what to do when I'm alone with a girl that pretty, but—"

Inuyasha snarled. "I'm not trying to get laid, pervert!"

"But I dearly hope you haven't ruled it out." He shook his head.

"That's it, monk. We're done talking." He swept one clawed hand fast enough to make the air hum. "I don't need you or your damn master's advice."

Miroku nodded. "Of course," he said. "You and Kagome can work this out yourselves. I foresee no problem. You should have no need of anyone's help."

Inuyasha folded his arms and started to walk away.

"...unless you've already told her off for trying to touch you and yelled at her to never do it again."

He froze.

"DAMMIT!"

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.

Kikyo's gaze held the nervous boy. He looked a world worse than he had two nights before. Then, his face had held a luminous sadness, the sorrow of a man who had only just learned that the world was not kind. Now, though... The flame of discovery had burnt out. There was no light in those ashen eyes.

Why someone so ordinary?

"It's awake," she said to him. "It was asleep for a long time, but you woke it. It may have been the passage through the well, but more likely, it was that its keeper had some need of it. It will only grow more powerful as time passes."

The boy was silent. He did not look as though he understood. Even after she'd finished speaking, he had the look of someone who did not wish to interrupt the shikon no miko. It was a look that Kikyo had seen too often.

Her eyes fell to the softly glowing droplet at his throat.

"Someone," she said carefully, "will have to teach you how to use it."

His fingers followed. Skin touched demon glass as the light flickered, the scent of woodsmoke just barely reaching Kikyo's cold senses.

He nodded. "I know. Believe me," he fingered the pale bauble at his throat, "I don't want this thing hurting anyone."

"Why didn't you run?" she tried another tack.

He gave a sick little laugh. "I've learned one thing over the past few days, Miss," he said: "most things I'd run from could catch me." He looked away. "...or they didn't mean me any harm in the first place."

Kikyo was silent for a moment. "Over the past few days," she told him, "you have learned more than one thing."

"I suppose that's true," he answered, one hand tracing the wooden well frame.

"The portal rejected you."

The boy nodded. "Yes."

"What will you do?"

His chin turned toward the ground at right. "Miroku said I could go and be a monk."

"Do you want to become a monk?"

"No," he told her, "I want to go home."

She took another step toward him. Years ago, the green blades would have bent beneath her feet. "Back to your ordinary life?"

He looked away again, searching for some difference in the shadows, "I think..." he trailed. "I think maybe life never is ordinary. Sometimes we think it is," he shook his head, "and it can be such a beautiful thing to think. If I'd never fought Kagura, or seen a serpent demon, never fallen through the well," his face softened, "or met Kagome... I still wouldn't've gotten what I wanted, my plan. Nothing has changed."

"You have changed," she said softly.

His fingers closed into a fist on the splintered wood. "Not enough," he said. "Miss Sango told me, when I first got here that my family would probably be more angry at losing a son than some necklace. Even though I know it's not just some necklace, I still think she's right."

"So cast it aside," she said. "Return to them."

"I promised," he answered. "And now I know there was a real reason she made me promise."

"The world does not make promises," Kikyo pointed out. "Did you not tell me that two nights ago?"

Something sparked in those dull eyes. "I'm not the world. I'm me." The momentary vigor passed. "Besides, who's to tell it would work anyway?"

"I am telling you," said Kikyo. "I lived in this village for many years. I slew many of the youkai whose bones were cast here to pierce the thread of time. The well could accept a sleeping talisman, but not a waking one. If you set aside your promise, it will send you back where you belong."

"Don't say that," he said. The rims of his eyelids gained a pink cast. "This is hard enough without you saying that." The boy seemed to steel himself, like rust falling away to reveal the bright blade beneath.

"Things happen for a reason," he breathed like a benediction. "I may only now have found my true destiny."

"You don't mean that."

He laughed. "I mean it. I don't _like_ it."

Kikyo took another step toward him. "Your destiny is elsewhere, and you know it."

"My _past_ is elsewhere. In the, uh," he scratched his head, "future... past." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Thank you for listening," he said softly.

Why wouldn't the boy see reason? "Do you think that if you keep your promise, that Inuyasha will keep his to me? That he will stay and the girl will go back to your world to be with you? Do you think that by keeping one promise you will change anything?"

"Yes," he said. "Something will change, even if it's only me."

"You still want to go back."

"And what do you want, Priestess?" he asked. Those plain eyes suddenly seemed as wide and as a glassy lake at dusk. The dirt stains on his hands turned smooth as he gently – terribly gently – touched his fingers to her wrist.

Kikyo didn't answer. Why had he thought to ask? Why hadn't anyone else?

She wanted children to smile at her for more than a day. She wanted sunlight on the roofs of her village. She wanted her love. She wanted her freedom. She wanted to breathe.

She wanted the jewel purified and the copy-girl gone forever. She wanted Naraku punished. She wanted Inuyasha punished. She wanted it all to end.

"I used to want an ordinary life," she said to nothing at all.

"I know the feeling," he answered.

She remembered his words on the hillside, after she'd come looking for Inuyasha. "An ordinary life with that girl?"

He nodded. "Not much chance of that now, I'm afraid. Miroku says she'll forgive me, but..."

She slung the bow from her shoulder, and drew it ready in her grip.

"Miss Kikyo?" he asked into her sudden smile. "What are you doing?"

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.  
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Kagome buried her face in her hands. It was all too much at once. First the well rejected Hojo, then her worries about the future and then... Then she had to go and forget the rules.

_Inuyasha doesn't like to be touched; he never has._ Kagome rubbed a knuckle against one wet eye. _I did it anyway. It's just... Oh god! _A helpless squeak escaped her. _Is this how Miroku feels?_

Here he was, holding back from Hojo just to please her – okay, and to get ten days without that spell – and she couldn't hold back from those two cute little ears...

Why did he have to look so damn happy?

He'd actually relaxed, actually smiled, actually sat still long enough to let her in. Sure, it wasn't the same as a gift of flowers or a dance under the stars or a Kikyo-sucks-and-you're-great, but it had come from _her_. Why couldn't—

Something slid past her vision, something witch-white against the growing dusk, echoing the implacable loneliness of the dead.

Six legs, empty of an innocent soul, twitched coldly.

"Oh no..." whispered Kagome.

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.

"With a girl like Kagome, you must convince her that it's not about getting her into bed."

Inuyasha's cheeks got hot. "It not, pervert."

"Then that part should be easy."

"I don't even know why I'm listening to..." Inuyasha trailed off as his eye caught something glide past the treeline. "Aw crap," he muttered as his heart pounded a little harder.

"Inuyasha," said the monk, eying the slippery spirit, "it seems that—"

"She's not here for me this time..." breathed the dog demon. "She must be up to something, but—" He shook his head. "Go find the others," he muttered, leaping off after the floating ghost.

"Wait!" Miroku reached after him. "Inuyasha, don't go alone!"

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"I like not the look of this..." murmured Kaede. Sango nodded gravely.

"What's that thing?" asked Kouga, snatching one out of the air. He flipped it over, watching its six crab-jointed legs flail in irritation. "Hmm..." He sniffed deeply. "I'm going to eat it," he decided, stretching his fanged mouth.

"Kouga!"

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.  
.

"Don't look so frightened, child," Kikyo said with gentle ice, the clear line of bow, string, fist, arrow and those scant yards of empty space between her and him. "You were never meant for this world."

"That's kind of you, Miss Kikyo," the boy's eyes were fixed on the gleaming arrowhead, both hands stretched out in front of him, "but I really think I'd rather—"

"You haven't seen real darkness," she said. "The lower demons only wanted food. The wind sorceress wanted escape. The dog lord wanted information. You haven't seen real darkness."

A chill seemed to settle behind those plain eyes. "You mean Naraku, don't you?" He gulped. "From what I've heard, I can see how meeting him could be a character-building experience."

The priestess laughed. "You still don't understand."

"You're right," he said carefully, "but if you don't mind not shooting me for another few minutes, I can listen."

"You still don't know what walks this earth," she said.

"There is wickedness where I'm from, Priestess," he said. "Horrors that perhaps even you can't imagine. And I don't mean just demons—"

"You can still forget."

"Ah..." Hojo trailed. "I don't think I agree with you there, Miss Kikyo."

"You're not part of this. You are kind. You are honorable. And you have loved her all your life."

His breath seeped into the dimness. "Kagome..."

Her bow creaked as she pulled it taut. "And you've never broken a promise for as long as you've lived."

"I don't know about _that_," he pointed out, swallowing hard as he tried to back away. "I mean, I try not to, but nobody's perfect."

"You are everything that he isn't," she said, the words bitter even in her cold mouth.

"Who?" he asked. "Naraku?"

"_Bone-deep_," she murmured. "_Nothing less will do_."

Hojo's heel hit the stone base of the well frame. His throat flexed again. Something crashed, far back in the woods behind her. Kikyo didn't need to look.

"You said it yourself," she said. "He will drive her away with his wildness. She will tire of being the dust under his feet. She will forget her pledge to stay by his side, remember her dignity and leave forever."

"Miss Kikyo, what are you talking about?"

"And you will be there," she finished. "And you will make her forget that she ever knew Inuyasha."

Hojo finally tore his eyes from the gleaming point at the end of her bow. "You heard us talking," he admitted into the night air. "Miss Kikyo," he mourned as the sound of breakneck sticks grew closer. "Kikyo, you're wrong. Whatever Kagome decides to do, I'm not part of it any more. I—" he swallowed, not in fear this time. "I did something bad and she'll never forgive me."

"She'll punish you," Kikyo answered, taking a final sight along the arrow-line. "She'll make you bleed for hurting her, but she will take you back in the end."

"How do you know?" Hojo asked, something that was almost hope snaking through his thin voice like a spine. "How do you—"

The crashing in the woods came to a stop at the edge of the clearing. There was only one person who would have known where to come, and come there fast enough. Kikyo smiled. And oh the memories, the sweet, heart-deep memories that this little scene must have dragged from his mind.

"Kikyo!" Inuyasha cried out. "What are you doing?"

She released the arrow before she turned to watch the reflection in those fox-gold eyes. The blue light spread from the wound in Hojo's shoulder across every part of his pain-stricken body, flaring particularly bright around the pulse at his throat. The pulse dimmed, but didn't die. A twitch of her wrist, and two eel-white shindamachuu slid forward toward the well. In reflex, the boy leaned just a little backwards, and toppled over the rim into the shadows that reached all the way through time.

_Go to sleep_.

"Because she's me."

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.

For once, he had nothing to say.

She smiled. Her soul-demons wheeled about her like the hands of some ethereal clock, and she only smiled.

Kikyo didn't move as he strode past her toward the well. He didn't need to call Hojo's name to know that he wasn't there any more, didn't have to blink to know that there were nothing but shadows and bones in that dry well.

Why wasn't the matter. She'd said why. He'd heard.

_"She will forget her pledge to stay by his side, remember her dignity, and leave forever."_

It stung worse than a poisoned whip, worse than another rock. It stung like an arrow's bite.

_She will_. The thought echoed in the emptiness inside his mind. _She will if she's any kind of smart._

"How?" he asked.

Her cold fingers closed on the fletching in her quiver. "The waking power at his throat upset the balance of the well. It only needed to be sleep for a moment. Kaede could have done it the day he arrived."

Ordinarily, Inuyasah's vocabulary would have served him very well at that moment.

"So it was that ...thing. The thing he wears."

"Yes."

"And you purified it?"

"For now. It will wake again." Her gaze never left him, but there was some change in those cold clay eyes. "The world does not reward anyone for faithfulness. I had to do it myself."

"Kikyo..." he trailed off, taking a step toward her.

_I know you're sad._

Her smile evaporated.

_I know you're angry_.

He reached out to take her wrist.

_Lonely_.

She stretched one finger, chill as the night air, to brush against his skin.

_I know._

His claws closed on nothing as she retreated, familiar spirits lifting her by each arm, backwards into the newborn dark.

_I know..._

Inuyasha's eyes slid shut, and he sank down, back against the stones of the well.

_"I know because she's me,"_ she'd said.

Kagome would forgive him and go back. Kagome would tire of anyone who treated her the way he had. It all rang true. It dispelled any doubt that Kikyo shared Kagome's soul. She truly knew the girl.

"But you don't know me anymore," he breathed even as a familiar scent touched his nose.

"Kikyo?" she called. He could hear the twigs catching on that stupid skirt of hers. "Are you here? Kikyo? Kik—" Her footsteps slowed as she stepped past the tree line. "Inuyasha?" she asked. "What happened?" He opened his eyes. "What happened?" She ran toward him. "Was Kikyo here?"

He nodded.

"Are you all right?" Her hands were on either side of his face.

"Yeah," he breathed. Did she know that Hojo had been there?

"What happened?" she asked again, eyes searching the dimness. "Blood..." she whispered. "Did she hurt you?"

He shook his head. "Not me."

There was a silence.

"Hojo..." she whispered.

Words, real words, finally formed in his throat. "The well."

"She made it work?" she asked. "Is Hojo..." Kagome set one foot against the well frame. "I have to see if he's all right," she told him. "I'll only be gone a—"

"_No_," his hand closed on her forearm, tight as the clenching in his heart. "_She did something to the well_."

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.  
.

Days passed before he'd even let her try. Nothing worked, not tears, not bargaining, not the rosary on his neck. Kagome had to admit, if only to herself, how quick she would have been to jump down that well if he hadn't fought her so hard. The idea of a one-way trip struck a chill in her, bone deep.

Even when Inuyasha relented, he'd insisted on being there, seeing the shards in their bottle in her hand, and on Kaede, old bones and all, waiting beside the well.

There were things, however, upon which he had not insisted.

"You must not take this risk, my Kagome," said Kouga, blue eyes smoldering like fresh ashes. "If that evil harridan has cursed this well—"

"Hey!" snarled Inuyasha.

"—such that you should find yourself unable to return to the upper world, I do not know how my heart would bear the thought of you trapped beneath the ground."

"Ah, Kouga..." Kagome tugged her hands free of his eager grip. "That's not exactly—"

"My darling, I love you even now that I have discovered that your kin live in the dirt like moles," he leaned to peer down into the well, "Although how they all fit down there is a bit of a mystery."

"Kouga," Kagome insisted, "perhaps you shouldn't stay for this part. I know that the other wolf demons must have missed you by now."

Kouga closed his eyes for a moment. "Every time I begin to doubt, Kagome, you only make me more certain of you," he said, actually sporting a misty tear. "You may be a bit softhearted with foolish suitors—"

Inuyasha gave a snort.

"—letting Hojo live long beyond his time, but you have such an eye for responsibility, always thinking of our tribe. Truly, I could not have made a better choice for my bride."

"She's not your bride, wolf turd!"

"Cram it, dog breath! She is if I say so!"

"Hey!" Kagome snapped back. "There's only one thing that makes me anyone's bride and that's _my_ saying so!"

"And it warms my heart to hear it," he answered, clasping both her hands to his chest.

"That's not what she meant, moron!" Inuyasha shot back.

"How would you know, mangy mutt?" sneered Kouga.

"You both offer the same point," Kaede interrupted what would have been a promising fight. "There is some risk that the portal will not work as it has in the past, but I do not think that my sister meant such a thing. From what Inuyasha tells me—"

It was Kouga's turn to scoff.

"—she aimed only to mask the presence of Hojo's family talisman long enough for him to pass back through the ages."

"She said you could've done it, baba!" Inuyasha half-accused.

"Only if I had thought of it, Inuyasha. I did not hear you suggest such a thing while we discussed Hojo's fate."

The dog demon folded his arms and grumbled.

Kaede arched her uncovered eyebrow and moved on. "Now that my sister's servants have gone from this forest—"

Kouga held his stomach and stifled an urping sound.

"—I think she, at least, believes his time here is well ended."

"So perhaps it is time for you to go, Kouga" Kagome picked up. "The others need you. You've stopped to help—"

"Keh!"

"—my friends and me for so long already."

"You have a point, my darling." The wolf prince narrowed his eyes. "Hey dog breath," he called, "you're not going to do something stupid like let the human whelp back into our world, are you?"

"Hell, no. Now get lost!"

"Then I shall honor your wishes, my Kagome," Kouga finished with a half-courtly bow. "Never let this bone-gnawing mongrel lower your spirits."

"Don't call him a—"

"Farewell!"

"Finally," Inuyasha muttered as twin dust devils sprung up around Kouga's ankles and bore him hard away.

"He never listens," Kagome murmured as the air began to settle.

"You're figuring that out _now?_" Inuyasha sighed. "Let's just go."

And of course, he jumped in with her.

The light came, and the sense of floating. If Kikyo had changed the well itself, it hadn't lasted.

On the other side, Inuyasha proclaimed a smell of blood, but not of death. Inside the house, Kagome met an unusually tearful and relieved welcome. When Hojo had returned half-conscious with blood loss from an arrow wound, said Kagome's mother, they had feared the worst.

For neglecting to mention the arrow, Inuyasha faced Kagome's wrath. Repeatedly. For this or whatever reason, he was persuaded to remain behind while Kagome left with her mother for the hospital. There, the doctors had given Hojo nineteen stitches, some donated plasma and a sound scolding for playing with the Higurashi shrine's historic weapon collection. They arrived just as the boy was being discharged.

Kagome and Inuyasha returned to the past that day.

"He disappeared," she said sadly, "just like I asked him to. He asked me what to say at school, and now he's gone."

"He'll be all right," Inuyasha told her, hauling her and her big-ass yellow bag out of the well. "He's in your world. He knows his way around there."

"My world can still be dangerous, Inuyasha." She took his face in both hands. "Some day, we will defeat Naraku. I have no doubt in my mind that we will, but no one can ever take evil out of the world. There will always be monsters."

Inuyasha looked away, but didn't make her move her hands, "I guess there'll always have to be people like us, then," he said.

She smiled. He could hear it. "I guess," she answered. She took a breath. "We should be getting back. The others might be worried."

"Keh," he muttered.

Behind him, he could hear Kagome's feet shift in the gravel. Her breath shook in and out. "It was ten days, wasn't it?"

Inuyasha twisted his head around. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Hojo got home," she said. "You win. That's ten days starting now."

The dog demon stopped walking. He probably stopped breathing as well.

"Inuyasha," Kagome began. "I know Hojo didn't exactly make it safe and sound, but it wasn't exactly an easy trip, either. With all the stuff Hojo pulled, I know you must've wanted to beat him senseless." She ran her teeth over her lower lip, "but you didn't. You even helped him."

Ten days no sits.

No freebie demon slayings, no letting Shippo getting away with his stupid pranks, and no... Inuyasha's eyes strayed behind them, to the well.

"I hit him."

Kagome stopped. "What?"

"You said I couldn't hit him. I did. I hit him."

"When?" she asked.

"Just once," he answered, "the night you sent him out into the woods. He figured out I was there and he..." his claws flexed.

_"She's going to come back home forever."_

_"I'll do everything I can to keep her from going back to you. I'll fill in the well."_

"He said some things," Inuyasha finished. "He said some things and I hit him."

"Were they about Shippo?" she asked gently.

He shook his head. "They were..."

_"She loves you. You're smart, strong, good-looking, and on the day you met, you saved her from a giant bug."_

Inuyasha found himself looking at Kagome's hands, her good hands.

_"It wouldn't take much from you to make her happy."_

"They were things I should have said myself," he admitted.

There was something that Inuyasha couldn't read in her eyes. "You hit him once?" she asked quietly.

"I wanted to hit him more than that."

"I know." She smiled. Gods, why was she smiling?

Moving faster than he realized he could, Inuyasha smacked his right hand down on top of her wrist, trapping it between his hand and his collarbone. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Under his grip, Kagome's fingers flexed against the string of beads that she'd just begun to lift off his neck. There was an odd color to her cheeks. "Inuyasha," she said at last, words slipping from between her pink lips like pebbles in a waterfall, "you don't need this any more." She started to lift her hand, but Inuyasha just pressed it harder against his chest, heart thudding like a beat of doom.

_Just let her_, something whispered. _It's damn time, anyway._

_No more obedience, no more holding back. Not ever_.

Inuyasha closed his eyes, feeling the weight of Tetsusaiga against his hip. "And if I go full demon again?" The words burned like acid in his mouth.

Kagome's fingers stilled. She gave a tug, and he let her pull her hand away.

"Fine," she said.

The whispers were gone. There was only thunderous shouting:

_MORON! MORON! MORON! MORON!_

"From this moment on," Kagome was saying, not that Inuyasha was paying much attention.

_She's NEVER going to offer you that again, you know!_

"From this moment on that spell is around your neck because you want it there," Kagome told him, placing one hand on his wrist, "to protect your friends. Other than that, that word doesn't exist any more, and I'm never going to say it again."

Inuyasha choked on his own spit. "What?" he demanded. He must have eaten something strange, he decided, something strange and hot that was making this warm, light feeling spread from his stomach through his spine all the way to the top of his head.

"You heard me," said Kagome.

"No way," he said. "You're never going to sit me again? Not even if I pull my same old crap?"

It couldn't last.

She'd get tired of it. She'd change her mind.

That just wasn't how things worked in the real world.

Kagome gave a tiny smile, "A promise is a promise."

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.  
.

A few days later...

He hadn't meant to wait this long, but dammit, he couldn't talk about this stuff in front of the damn wolf. Yes, that was it. Kouga's two stinkworms had finally shown up and dragged him back to his duties two days after Hojo's departure, and it hadn't been one second too soon.

Inuyasha took a breath, "Kagome?"

"Yes Inuyasha?" The girl looked up from what she was doing.

"You know that ..._thing?_"

Her brow creased. "What thing?"

"You know..." Inuyasha trailed off. "That thing you did."

"What thing that I did?"

Inuyasha stifled a growl. "You know, the—" his ears twitched.

Kagome's eyes got big. "Oh, you mean the..."

"Yeah that."

She looked down. "I said I was sorry, Inuyasha. I haven't done it since and I won't try to again."

"That's what I want to talk to you about," Inuyasha snapped back. He folded his arms and studied something important up in the clouds. "If you really have to," he said, "then I don't mind."

Kagome frowned. "Huh?"

"You can," he said, still looking away. "It's all right." At her silence, he sighed, closing his eyes. "I actually ... I like it when you do that. I... I don't mind." He tapped one foot uncomfortably. When she still didn't answer, he pried his arms away from his sides and crouched down next to her, eyes making it as far as her hands. "I want you to do it again."

Kagome's frown deepened. "You mean ...now?" She gestured to the newly quiet battlefield around them, where five or six large beetle demons lay in assorted states of dismemberment. "'Cause this isn't such a good time."

"Ack! No, I don't mean now!" Inuyasha waved both arms. "Just..."

"...whenever?"

"Yeah."

Unbelievably, Kagome smiled. "...okay..."

.  
.  
.

Hojo craned his neck at the graceful torii marking the boundary between holy and profane space and tried to ignore the fading ache in his shoulder. A promise to a lady was a promise to a lady. The fact that she'd shot him not five minutes later was hardly the point.

The arch needed a new paint job, but it was a bona-fide attended shrine, and not an empty either. Somewhere in there was the dull pulse of power, and promise.

"Doesn't look too respectable, does it?" he murmured into the air. He shuffled his feet uneasily. This time of day was for rushing off to school. ...no, it was for walking there at a firm but unhurried pace because he'd gotten up nice and early and eaten a good breakfast and laid out his clothes the night before, and—

The thing resting at his throat fluttered like a sleeping bird.

"Yeah," he shrugged. "We've already tried most of the respectable ones."

Most of the "sacred" places he'd come across had been about as holy as banks: Big and pretty, but empty of true power. He could see it now, glowing like hot ashes. He didn't know why. That was only one of his questions.

Six temples in three cities and no one had known anything about foreign demon amulets, let alone been ready to instruct a wayward boy in their proper and responsible use. Most of them had been violently insulted that he'd even asked about it. Some of them had threatened to call the cops. One had.

Hojo covered his grin with one hand. Strangely, the officers had been more upset about the fact that their tires had mysteriously melted to the pavement than about the polite, apologetic youth who'd offended the local shrinekeeper.

Still, Hojo had to wonder why he was doing this. Universities didn't look favorably the student who took an extended leave of absence, even if he did have only the most plausible of medical excuses, courtesy of a dear, dear friend's great experience with them.

_"Did you ever think," _he'd asked someone not long ago_, "that maybe my world needs heroes too?"_

Hojo exhaled, as if blowing out a candle, or trying to make kindling catch. He settled the shoulder straps on his backpack.

_Here goes_.

.  
.  
.

THE END.

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"Surely," Kurama said calmly, "there is some way you could sell the costume to Lady Teles. Don't tell me that this garment has no price."

Do bribes count?

Sesshoumaru reentered the conversation, holding a bruised TankBBG upside-down by one leg. "Did I miss anything, beloved? Have you yet given up this foolish venture?"

"Of course not, beloved," Teles answered pointedly. "This person refuses to sell me the garment if I intend on making changes to it."

It's a classic!

"It's a travesty," corrected Kurama.

"Hey," the forgotten guest star chimed in, "is that the original Sephiroth costume?"

Yes.

"Silence, beastling!" Sesshoumaru gave TankBBG a shake and turned to Teles. "She has made her decision. Let us go home."

"Sesshoumaru," said the ex-goddess, hand on her hips, "if you think you're getting out of—"

"Why not just rent it?" asked TankBBG.

Because I wouldn't want it back.

"No," she went on , "I mean rent it and send it to a tailor to be copied. Do you guys really want a costume that's still covered in Sephiroth's sweat?"

"At least I hope that's what that is," muttered Kurama.

Yeah, and you weren't wearing underwear.

"You are not prolonging your life," added the fox demon.

Teles gave a slight pout, "I _suppose_ I could settle for an imitation. Very well. I promise to make no alterations to the costume."

Here you are. No charge.

Teles accepted the garments with a gleam in her eye. "Excellent," she said, turning to Sesshoumaru. "I will be waiting in the car, my darling." She then faced Kurama and addressed him warmly. "I cannot say how good it has been to see you again."

"Be well, dear lady," he answered. "And congratulations on your forthcoming blessing."

Teles strode off, stepping delicately over Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei's broken and swirly-eyed bodies.

Sesshoumaru eyed TankBBG with a mixture of appreciation and disdain, "You have been of use to me, human. This sartorial escapade may well outlast my mate's hormonal fancy. As such, I will spare your wretched life."

"Wow, thanks!" said TankBBG.

Sesshoumaru promptly released her …onto her head.

"Ow!"


	51. Epilogue: Closure

"Hello," he said with a sigh. "My name is Youko Kurama. You may remember me from such works as Yu Yu Hakusho and this most recent travesty of literature. I would like to take this, our last installment, and deliver the author's thanks."

I want to thank Rumiko Takahashi for making Inuyasha. I want to thank Yoshihiro Togashi for making Kurama and pals. I want to thank all the archive sites who host us. I want to thank therhoda and Niamh, my occasional betas, and Squeakyinuears, who has kept the secret of Hojo's origins since chapter thirty or so.

"I believe we also have some shout outs," supplied Kurama.

Jane Drew and the rest all get evil cookies for figuring it out.

"I think that's it," said Kurama.

Uh huh. Thank you for reading. Now please enjoy the very last installment of the Kurama Arc:

_The last installment of the Kurama Arc is available only in its scandalous, uncensored version: play format. It is available on mediaminer or sphere of silence. The content of the chapter is, as always, otherwise identical._

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"No!"

"But Kagome!"

"I said no! Go away!"

"But," Inuyasha spread his hands, ears bobbing as his eyes got big and shiny, "...whyyyyyy?"

Shippo shook his head. That, as Inuyasha would soon discover, had been the wrong thing to ask.

"Oooooooh!" Kagome stamped her foot against the ground and seethed like a teakettle about to blow.

He flinched. Shippo was sure he saw him flinch and brace for a dive into the ground. In any case, he completely missed the still-dripping math book hurtling right for his face.

"Ow!" Inuyasha smacked his hand over the bruise. "That damn thing's heavy, bitch!"

"And you didn't notice that _before_?" she demanded, snatching the damp text and stomping off toward the woods.

"Hm!" Kagome sniffed as Shippo scooted up onto her shoulder, shaking his head. A few words from a patient and unbiased mediator and Inuyasha would be back on her good side, with all the benefits that that entailed.

The fox kit preened his sodden tail. Too bad for the stupid dog boy that he wasn't feeling patient or peaceable at that moment.

"Why do you put up with him?"

Shippo wouldn't have believed it – it certainly wasn't the effect he'd been hoping for – but Kagome's fury seemed to soften, just a bit, as a strange flush crept onto her cheeks. "I'll tell you when you're older."

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"It would have been nice to say goodbye," sighed Sango.

"Indeed," Miroku agreed as he rifled through Kagome's pack. "To whom, my dear Sango?"

"Hojo," she growled.

"Ah yes. He did leave us rather abruptly," Miroku nodded, "though it does my heart good to know that he is returned safely to his home and family."

Sango narrowed her eyes. "You're just glad he's gone."

"I never pretended otherwise," he protested calmly. "Anyway," he changed the subject, "thank you for letting me take Kirara for this journey."

The firecat flicked her tails.

"It's no problem, so long as Kirara doesn't mind," Sango answered as Kirara gave a satisfied trill, "but I would like to know where you are going."

"That is easy enough," he said. "I am going to see Mushin."

Sango cast her eyes toward Miroku's right hand. It didn't look any different, slow death silent as ever behind the bead and cloth. "Is there something wrong with–?"

"No," he held up both hands as he answered her with something new and weary in his voice. "I'm just going to see him."

Sango felt her brow furrow. "Why?"

Miroku looked down and tugged absently at the bag's closing strap. "Can't a man show some gratitude to the person who raised him?"

"I don't mean to offend, Houshi-sama," she said carefully, "but that doesn't seem like the sort of thing you would do."

Miroku pointed his eyes into Kagome's pack and pretended to keep looking for whatever he'd been looking for. "Mushin is a high monk," he breathed at last, "but he's also a lonely old man. I'm just going to see him."

There was something strange hiding on his face, Sango realized slowly, something that had been there for a long time, peeking out around the edges of all his lighthearted irresponsibility and off-color innuendos, a heavy weariness that had worn creases into his untroubled spirit.

"Would you," the words seemed to stick to her tongue, "would you like it if I came along?" Sango asked.

Miroku turned his face toward her and Sango saw something truly rare: her artful monk in a moment of unguarded surprise. If she had blinked, she would have missed it. "My dear Sango," he began, "I—"

"Oy, Bouzu! I need to talk to you some more."

"Yes, Inuyasha," he answered without breaking eye contact. "How may I help you?"

"It's Kagome. She's being all—" the dog demon pulled up short, looking at Sango. She put her hands on her hips. He took two steps closer to Miroku and dropped his voice to a leashed growl, "I tried your stupid one-eyed flea thing. It didn't fucking work!"

"That might be because it's the Limped-Eye Plea," Miroku replied calmly. "Sango," he said, dragging Inuyasha sideways by the arm, "would you please pardon the interruption? I'm afraid our friend may need some help, man-to-man."

Sango exchanged a glance with Kirara as Miroku tugged him a few feet away. The firecat had cocked her head to one side, trilling quizzically.

"What are you two talking about?" Sango asked suspiciously.

"A moment, Inuyasha," said the monk. Then, Sango swore she heard the muttered words, "Watch and learn."

The taijiya put both hands on her hips. What was he up to this time?

"Forgive me, my dearest Sango," the monk said, sweeping both her hands up in his own and clasping them lightly, a few inches from his chest. "I hope," he said in a tone somehow less offensive than usual, "that this meager interruption has not inconvenienced you."

Sango found herself drawn into those dewy, violet eyes. She'd never noticed before how big and guileless they were. She'd never noticed before how sincere the monk's manner truly was. Surely she had been wrong to ever suspect him of the least deceit. Surely—

Kirara meered and bit Sango on the ankle. The taijiya shook herself awake and glared hard at the cringing monk.

"Eheh," Miroku rubbed the back of his neck. "You see, Sango," he said quickly, eyes normal-sized again, "I was only trying to enlighten our friend here, to help him make his peace with Kagome. I know you hate it when they fight almost as much as ...oh hell, just... not the face, all right?"

"Fine," Sango agreed darkly, hefting hiraikotsu.

A moment later, Miroku was rubbing the new bump on his head. "As you can see," he said, turning back to Inuyasha, "I'm still perfecting it myself, but it shows some promise," Sango could hear Miroku's hissing as they moved a few feet off. "I only figured out how to do it a few days ago."

"Hey!" snarled the dog demon, forgetting his secrecy. "You told me you learned this move from that drunken master of yours!"

"No, I said it _reminded_ me of that drunken master of mine," corrected the monk, "I _learned_ it from watching Kouga. Now can we make this quick, I think I—"

"Kouga!" spluttered Inuyasha.

"Yes, Inuyasha. Now is there something with which I might help you?"

Inuyasha growled and his voice dropped for real that time.

"I couldn't quite hear that," Miroku prompted.

"I said Kagome doesn't want to..." Inuyasha's eyes flicked to Sango, "...you know!"

"Inuyasha!" the monk clapped him on the back. "Congratulations, my friend. What did I tell you? A little training was just the thing. Although I must admit that I'd suspected a fine creature such as Kagome would last longer before succumbing to your charms."

"Eh? No!" protested the dog demon, cheeks going red as beets. "I don't mean _that_ thing!"

It was Miroku's turn to frown. "Is there another thing?"

"_Yes!_" Inuyasha fumed. At the monk's continued look of confusion, Inuyasha gave another self-conscious glance to Sango and back, and then – for no visible reason – he bobbed his ears to the side.

"Ah..." Miroku put one hand to his chin. "Well, the theory of the matter is still the same. If Kagome is denying you her touch, then you must have done something to anger her."

"I haven't done shit!"

Sango couldn't hold in a snort. Inuyasha glared at her.

"It's true," she protested. "Ever since Kagome forswore that rosary, you've gone completely wild."

"I have not!" Inuyasha folded his arms, nose pointed proudly to heaven.

"She wanted to return home last night!" Sango added. "You stopped her."

"She's supposed to stay here!"

"Inuyasha," the monk scolded darkly, "did you not this very morning throw Shippo _and_ her schoolbooks in the lake?"

"Maybe."

"You ate all of her shampoo!"

"It smelled like food, dammit!"

"Regardless, Inuyasha," Miroku cut in, "Sango has a point. I realize that it is a relief to be free of the subduing spell, but—"

"I'm not free of it!" snapped the dog demon. "It's only a matter of time before she—"

THWACK!

"Owwww..." Inuyasha rubbed his head as Sango settled hiraikotsu back at her side.

"Kagome has given you her promise," Sango said simply. "Stop testing her word and accept it."

Inuyasha growled but didn't say anything else until Miroku cleared his throat.

"As I was saying," continued the monk, "the theory of the matter is the same. If you wish to gain Kagome's favor, you must put her in the proper mood for it."

"How?" growled the dog demon.

"Well, I could mention any number of techniques that my master learned in his travels, but for Kagome..." Miroku scratched the back of his neck as Sango smiled. "Let her go home when she needs to," he counted on his fingers. "Be nice to Shippo. Let her study. Don't call her names." Miroku put his hands down. "That should do it."

"But those are all the things that—" Inuyasha clutched the air. "She used to—" A thundering growl shuddered from his throat.

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Kagome seethed to herself, trying to unstick the pages of her dripping math book. Now there was a big dent in it from where it had so deliciously hit that stupid boy right between the—

The girl froze as a booming yowl shook the nearby trees.

**_"DAAAMMMIIIITT!"_**

"Jerk," she muttered. At least he seemed to be regretting it.

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Sango's ears rang as the half-demon pounded the earth with both feet, snarling incoherently. "KNEWIshouldda dammit damn damn fuckdammitt!" Her heart wrung in consternation.

"It's not so bad, Inuyasha," Sango tried. "It's still better than getting sat."

The dog demon spun on his heel, stabbing one clawed finger in her direction.

"Oh _hell_ yes," he insisted, then stalked off again, muttering to himself and gouging the air with his claws.

"And start by apologizing!" Miroku called after him. "Master Mushin always said—"

"Shut up, Miroku!"

"Yes, there was that, but about apologizing he said—"

"Shut up, Miroku!"

Sango sighed.

The monk gave a chuckle. "Inuyasha would do well to realize that not everything is about him." He regarded her with a smile that she didn't often see. "About your question, my dear Sango..."

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"Kagome?"

"Hm!" She tossed her hair behind her shoulders, flicking a still-damp math page out of her way.

"Kagome, I wanna talk to you."

"Oh I think you made it perfectly clear that talking isn't first on your agenda!" She turned and fixed him with a blazing glare. "You're only apologizing because you want me to ...you know!"

He blinked. "Who said I was apologizing?"

"Oooooooh!"

Inuyasha frowned. This wasn't going as well as he'd hoped. The dog demon folded his arms. Two could play at this game. "So what if I were going to say sorry?"

"What does sorry matter if you're just going to do it again?"

"I'm not! I mean it!" he said, trying to do that big-eye thing that the monk had taught him. It still wasn't working, because Kagome turned up her nose again.

"Stop that!" she hissed. "Oooooooh, I should have guessed that this was what you were up to, all those talks you've been having with Miroku!"

Inuyasha felt the corners of his mouth slink up. "I don't think you should worry about Miroku too much," he said. "He couldn't even figure the real reason why you didn't go home last night."

Kagome's mouth dropped wide open as her face turned the color of a pink carnation. "You better not have told!" she hissed, staggering to her feet.

It was at that moment that Inuyasha realized something: she wasn't going to sit him. She was as mad – or embarrassed or both – as he'd ever seen her, and she just wasn't going to sit him. Something inside him seemed to settle. Maybe a promise was a promise after all.

"Of course I didn't tell!" he answered, holding out both hands. "What, you think I'd let the monk know about—"

"Oooooooh!" Kagome stamped her foot. It was then that Inuyasha realized a second thing: this was going to take a lot longer than he'd thought. There was a big difference between not getting sat and getting... well...

Bright gold eyes trailed the back of Kagome's head as she stomped off again, probably to that damn well. His smile didn't seem to want to fade. He had a plan. Hell, if he could do Kouga's limping flea thing, then Hojo's advice shouldn't be too hard to swallow.

_"Thank her when she does something for you. Tell her she looks nice or that she did a good job. And for the love of heaven, stop calling her a stupid bitch all the time!"_

After all, he was smart, strong, good-looking, and on the day they'd met, he'd saved her from a giant bug. He could do this.

"Kagome, wait up!" he called and hurried after her. He could catch her before she made it to the well. He was still new at this whole "making up" part of the argument, and in a lot of ways it only complicated things. He still had a promise to Kikyo that he was honor-bound to keep, but... But there was more to this whole Kagome thing, and he wanted to find out what it was, as surely as he'd wanted any jewel shard.

And she kept making the cutest little sound when he rubbed her neck.

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"But Shippo," Sango protested, "it's just a visit to Miroku's master. I'm sure you'd much rather stay here with Kagome."

"Yeah," the fox kit stubbed one toe against Kaede's doorstep, "but you might need help making Miroku behave."

"He has a point there, Sango," suggested the priestess. Miroku sighed.

"Well," she shrugged, "I suppose it would be all—"

"...and you might run into trouble in the woods. Or Kirara might come across a patch of catnip again. Or you might need someone to send a message for you. Or you might need my skills as a warrior. You really should take me with you, Sango!"

Miroku rubbed his chin. "Inuyasha and Kagome made up, didn't they?"

"Yeah," Shippo muttered into the grass.

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Something was amiss. She could tell that before Kirara had set two paws on the ground. Mushin's home seemed empty and yet—

Kirara gave a thick growl and Shippo jumped nervously to Sango's shoulder. Half-faded spatters against the doorframe gave voice to it. There was blood nearby. A crunching noise, a few feet off, drew her attention. Sango loosened hiraikotsu against her back as Miroku slid to the ground, looking as fierce as she'd ever seen him.

"Master!" came a squeaky voice from the side.

"Hachi?" Miroku called back.

A squat figure hurried into view. Miroku's youkai companion wouldn't meet Sango's eyes. _Hachi has always had a nervousness about him_, Sango remembered, _but not like this. Something is wrong. Something is very wrong._

Miroku seemed to sense this as well. "Tell me what happened," he demanded without preamble.

"I think—" the badger demon wrung his hands, twisting them thumb-for-wrist, never breaking Miroku's gaze. "I think—"

"Say it!"

"A nogitsune, Master." Hachi managed at last. "I think a nogitsune found him outside the temple." "He made it back and tried to..." the shivering youkai looked away. "I think he'd been there for some time before I found him. I—" the creature cowered again. "I didn't know how long it would be before—"

"—I'd be back," Miroku finished, eyes hidden beneath his bangs.

"A kitsune of the wild tribe..." Sango breathed. "It must have worked up some spite to attack a monk of Mushin's caliber."

"Master Mushin has kept the..." Hachi clutched his gray-furred hands against his chest, looking from Sango to Miroku and back, "...the rougher sorts from working mischief against the villagers. Perhaps one of them grew angered by his interference."

"My father told me about them," she heard Shippo breathe from her shoulder, one small paw-hand scratching gently against her neck. Shippo's voice stilled. Miroku didn't look toward them. "They prey on weakness. Maybe one of them caught him unawares—"

The fox kit stopped as Miroku stepped away from them, past Hachi.

"Master?" squeaked Hachi. "Master, you don't want to s—"

"Yes I do." Miroku didn't look up, didn't break stride as he walked toward his master's house.

"Come on," Sango said quietly to the others. "This isn't the first time we've dug a man's grave."

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"So he is finally dead," Miroku breathed against the grass. "A proper burial stone," he said to no one in particular, his haphazard body low-slung against the earth, "and a proper blessing."

_It's more than I'll get._

Miroku pushed the thought away. None of this was about him, none of it. No attachment, that was what he'd been taught. No attachment, but...

He felt her kneel down on the soft earth behind him, heard her clap her hands. In his mind's eye, he saw her bowed head, the perfect curve of her spine, as if this were her own father's grave, miles away across the mountains.

Sango placed one hand against his shoulder and squeezed gently. How odd... There were times when he let her see him without anything in the way, but she never knew them for what they were. It was his own fault. How odd that this moment, blazing white as Mushin's burial shroud, should be the only one.

"He deserved better," Sango murmured softly.

"No he didn't," Miroku answered with a bitter laugh. He could hear her breathing behind him, felt his own breath heavy in his lungs, as heavy as the stone beside them. "I was sure I'd die first," he whispered like a confession. "There were so many things I still wanted to ask him, Sango. There was so much he never taught me." He felt something warm on his cheeks. "I know he was a worthless drunk," something spilled hot from his throat to seep, wasted, into the ground, "I know he was, but something about him just—"

He felt her kneel down behind him, pressing her forehead for a moment against his shoulder. "It was the same when my father died," she admitted. "No matter how much time we have, it's never enough."

"I knew," he heard himself answer, slowing. The silence pressed down on his half-lidded eyes. "It would have been nice to say goodbye." He felt a dull shake in his throat, as if he'd tried to laugh without knowing.

"What is it?" Sango asked.

"Something Hojo said to me about funerals," he answered. "He seemed to think that they were less for the dead than for the living. Something about saying goodbye. I was so angry with him that I'd all but forgotten it until now." He let the fingers of his good hand, his pure hand, his _other_ hand lace just a little into hers.

No smooth skin for her, just as there would be no long life for him. Perhaps calluses would form against his doom. His eyes shut, suddenly wet again.

Her hands were on his shoulders. Why? Unseeing, his fingers rested light against her jaw, felt wet lines drip down her cheeks. His eyes opened to find hers not a hand's breadth from his face, wide as the world beneath tears he hadn't earned.

But then, Miroku never had been much for honest living.

There was no memory from the master for this, no lesson. It was only natural. His hands curled behind her neck and he accepted. If Sango had ever kissed a man before, he wouldn't have guessed it. It was sad and awkward, and the sweetest thing he'd ever known.

She broke the kiss just enough for him to feel her breath against his face. He hadn't wanted her to be sad. He hadn't wanted a lot of things.

A flash of color caught the corner of his eye. He pulled away in time to see a scolding young kitsune with a yellow flower in his hand. "And I thought Inuyasha and Kagome were bad," he muttered wearily, hopping sideways onto the stone.

Miroku straightened, "Shippo," he said immediately, stretching forth one hand, "don't stand there."

The kit cocked his head at him, "But I was only bringing a flower..."

The monk lost Shippo's words like leaves into a whirlpool.

"Houshi-sama?" Sango's alarmed voice fell in, wheeled madly and vanished into the icy maw of his dark thoughts.

_This chill in my heart._

Miroku's breath stilled, as if he'd heard a voice from—

_Like someone's walking over my grave_.

His heart pounced as he scrambled backward, without time to get to his feet, fighting back echoes of the conversation he'd had with Hojo as they'd walked back from the battle with the serpent demons. ...Hojo explaining how he'd known, and so wrongly, that Shippo wasn't an innocent.

_"Wouldn't mind being reincarnated as one."_ It was his own voice, smirking at Inuyasha.

_"Wouldn't mind being reincarnated as one."_

_"After one lifetime with you for an apprentice, he'd deserve it!"_

It was just a stone, just a grave, just a dead man underneath. It couldn't laugh.

Hojo the Natural.

Hojo not foolish, but innocent.

"Between lives..." the words escaped his memory and fled out into the air.

A boy knowing Mushin's lessons without being taught.

They'd been wrong. Hojo had known the difference between reasonable demons and monstrous ones, with the sole, unreasoning exception of—

"Miroku," Shippo's eyes were wide as he finally stepped away from Mushin's grave, "what's wrong?"

Hojo only stumbling when he found himself in unfamiliar space, as if he'd forgotten the details but retained the wisdom, especially—

_You'll end up a lonely old man._

The dust gathered against his wrists, stuck to one wet palm. Still he slid away.

_I know this end and you don't want it. You'd better be listening. Don't turn your back on me boy._

Miroku obeyed, scrabbling backwards away from the grave. "No..." he gasped, shaking his head.

"Houshi-sama!"

The two voices in his memory blended and fused, lost all identity in the unknown that lay beyond time. An older Hojo dying. A young one being born, and a fool of a boy trapped in the middle ...only not the fool he'd thought.

_Everything happens for a reason, Miroku, but it's not always a big reason. Maybe not the one you think._

_"Maybe she was sent back in time just to give him closure or something."_

The monk clamped his hands over the memory in his ears.

_"To give him a chance to say what he needed to say."_

"It can't be that," the words escaped him. "That can't be it."

A last chance gone, and all of time in between.

"Houshi-sama!" Sango gripped his shoulders, hard this time. "What did you see?"

His mind stilled and his breath returned. He finally looked up.

"It can't be..."

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THE END

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You may notice that one character is conspicuously absent from this epilogue. We will hear no more of him or what becomes of him in his new life.

Here's to you, Bachan.


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